# Would you throw a party for yourself? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 2, 2010, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-throw-a-party-for-yourself/530996 "2010-03-02T15:48:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2010, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-throw-a-party-for-yourself/530996/61 "2010-03-03T21:04:12Z")
> [@Wilbo523](#): > > I have never heard of someone having a shower in a rented hall. :rolleyes: I have been to both wedding and baby showers held in rented halls. ---
**Author:** ![EmAnJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d2c977/32.png) [@EmAnJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmAnJ)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2010, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-throw-a-party-for-yourself/530996/62 "2010-03-03T21:36:08Z")
> [@Wilbo523](#): > > Wedding and baby showers can be as simple as hosting cake and coffee in someone’s home. I have never heard of someone having a shower in a rented hall. :rolleyes: That’s the norm here. In the last year, three of four showers I attended were in rented halls. ---
**Author:** ![SecondJudith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5ac83/32.png) [@SecondJudith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SecondJudith)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2010, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-throw-a-party-for-yourself/530996/63 "2010-03-03T23:37:17Z")
I am completely baffled by the concept of having a housewarming party somewhere other than the new home. ---
**Author:** ![Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maggie_the_Ocelot)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2010, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-throw-a-party-for-yourself/530996/64 "2010-03-03T23:58:07Z")
> [@SecondJudith](#): > > I am completely baffled by the concept of having a housewarming party somewhere other than the new home. Me too. Never got an answer on this… ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-throw-a-party-for-yourself/530996/65 "2010-03-04T00:37:46Z")
> [@NinetyWt](#): > > I have been to both wedding and baby showers held in rented halls. I’ve definitely been to wedding and baby showers in halls, but never a housewarming. The big thing about a housewarming is to see the new house. Learn something new every day. ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-throw-a-party-for-yourself/530996/66 "2010-03-04T01:23:03Z")
> [@Sigmagirl](#): > > So what about this: My husband and I are coming up on our 15th anniversary. I was thinking about having an anniversary party (I haven’t discussed this with him yet; it just occurred to me a few weeks ago). I was thinking that we have a lot of friends now whom we didn’t know when we got married, and if we’d known them then, we certainly would have invited them to our wedding. Unfortunately, some have died, some have moved far away, and some we don’t see much anymore, though we’re not on bad terms with anybody. > > All of that is too much exposition, but it comes down to: Is it a good idea to have an anniversary party for ourselves and invite all our new friends as well as our original wedding guests? Or is it tacky? Just to say “Hey, we wanted you with us back then, and we’re still happy together so come celebrate with us!” Is it possible to do it so it’s _not_ tacky? We are planning to do this in July for our 20th wedding anniversary. We had a VERY small wedding, and most of our friends and family were left out. So we’d like to throw a VERY belated party! We’re just going to send out invitations and let the chips fall where they may. The party will be a simple picnic-type thing held at our local town hall – large enough to accommodate everyone in case of bad weather, but there are picnic tables and lots of shade outside too. I’ll tell my mom that if anyone asks about gifts, we don’t want any; people should just come and have a good time, and we’ll be glad to see them. ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-throw-a-party-for-yourself/530996/67 "2010-03-04T01:39:27Z")
> [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](#): > > I’ve definitely been to wedding and baby showers in halls, but never a housewarming. The big thing about a housewarming is to see the new house. Never mind - me either! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Springtime\_for\_Spacers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Springtime\_for\_Spacers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Springtime_for_Spacers)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-throw-a-party-for-yourself/530996/68 "2010-03-04T02:17:47Z")
I’m in the UK and definitely surprised by the notion that there’s something wrong with throwing my own birthday party. I was single for years and have no family living nearby if I hadn’t thrown my own parties I would never have got one as it isn’t normal here for anyone but family or partners to arrange someone’s party. ---
**Author:** ![Hazle\_Weatherfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Hazle\_Weatherfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hazle_Weatherfield)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-throw-a-party-for-yourself/530996/69 "2010-03-04T02:38:02Z")
> [@Sigmagirl](#): > > So what about this: My husband and I are coming up on our 15th anniversary. I was thinking about having an anniversary party (I haven’t discussed this with him yet; it just occurred to me a few weeks ago). I was thinking that we have a lot of friends now whom we didn’t know when we got married, and if we’d known them then, we certainly would have invited them to our wedding. Unfortunately, some have died, some have moved far away, and some we don’t see much anymore, though we’re not on bad terms with anybody. > > All of that is too much exposition, but it comes down to: Is it a good idea to have an anniversary party for ourselves and invite all our new friends as well as our original wedding guests? Or is it tacky? Just to say “Hey, we wanted you with us back then, and we’re still happy together so come celebrate with us!” Is it possible to do it so it’s _not_ tacky? I would LOVE to attend a party like this! ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-throw-a-party-for-yourself/530996/70 "2010-03-04T03:17:51Z")
> [@Shade](#): > > Hm, is this cultural? It may also be a difference in what constitutes a “party”. I’m late twenties, but I’ve some friends from 20-40, and we live in a university town, and many of us went to university there, so a party is almost always “invite everyone to your house, they bring a bottle and you provide food” or “invite everyone to a restaurant, everyone pays for themselves”. As we get older, the host provides a _little_ bit more, but it’s still a long way from “host provides everything, people bring gifts”. > > Occasionally someone may host or throw a party for someone else, but it’s almost always only parents of toddlers or parents of brides. > > It’s like, every year, you get together with friends for birthday. So you invite them to your place. And they come (or not). Alternatively, you’d do… what? I occasionally feel pushy inviting people, but I’m sure they wouldn’t come if they didn’t want to, I think that’s just because I’m shy, not because it’s strange. > > But apparently party means something else to many people: what _does_ it mean? I’m with you. My parties, and my friends’ parties, are exactly like that. There’s no need for any protocol about ‘if you throw the party for yourself, don’t require people to bring gifts’ because it doesn’t matter who’s throwing the party - unless it’s a wedding reception, there’s never any requirement to bring gifts. I mean, I’m pleased when people give me birthday gifts, but it’s not expected. Hell, a lot of the wedding receptions I’ve been to in the past few years have also specified that we don’t need to bring gifts or requested charity donations in lieu of gifts, because traditional wedding presents are toasters and tea towels and such, and everyone already has a million of them. > [@SecondJudith](#): > > I am completely baffled by the concept of having a housewarming party somewhere other than the new home. Yeah. Or even having the housewarming party at the new home but having it hosted by someone who doesn’t live there. Kinda seems at odds with the whole idea of a housewarming party. But then, a few months ago I finally got a new sofa after literally years of searching. So I threw a sofa-warming party. My kitchen recently got remodelled and the remodelling was hellish, but now it looks a lot nicer: soon I will be throwing a kitchen-warming party. So perhaps I am not typical in party-throwing reasons. 😃 Gifts will, of course, not be expected; not sure what gifts people would give at a sofa warming party anyway. We already have cushions. ---
**Author:** ![Serenata67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/serenata67/32/10646_2.png) [@Serenata67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Serenata67)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-throw-a-party-for-yourself/530996/71 "2010-03-04T14:31:42Z")
> [@scifisam2009](#): > > … > So perhaps I am not typical in party-throwing reasons. 😃 Gifts will, of course, not be expected; not sure what gifts people would give at a sofa warming party anyway. We already have cushions. Change and lint for the cushions. It’s not a sofa unless something is lost in it… I have and would throw parties for myself, although it’s not a “give me presents” vein, but a celebratory vein. I’ve had birthdays where I organized a dinner or made fondue at my house for friends. Usually, though, for birthdays and such, I like to keep it low-key. I don’t want to have a big party (that I’ll just have to clean up after) just to get wasted or anything. My in-laws usually take us out to dinner on our birthdays (our= my husband and me), then some cake at either our house or their house, then we call it a night. When it comes time for a baby shower, I’m not sure who would host it. I don’t really have any non-related friends. At all. I have some coworkers who I’m nice to, but no one close enough that would throw me a party. All my “friends” are my husband’s cousins and aunts, my sister, etc. Those are the people I would want to celebrate with for my baby shower. ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-throw-a-party-for-yourself/530996/72 "2010-03-04T14:40:39Z")
> [@scifisam2009](#): > > But then, a few months ago I finally got a new sofa after literally years of searching. So I threw a sofa-warming party. My kitchen recently got remodelled and the remodelling was hellish, but now it looks a lot nicer: soon I will be throwing a kitchen-warming party. Ha! We’re currently remodeling a bathroom that would be turned down by every “Bad Bathroom” program for being too bad. When it’s done, maybe we’ll have a bathroom-warming party! “Hey, that’s not the punch bowl!” :eek: ---
**Author:** ![melodyharmonius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/melodyharmonius/32/21310_2.png) [@melodyharmonius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melodyharmonius)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-throw-a-party-for-yourself/530996/73 "2010-03-04T14:48:15Z")
Last year I wanted to have a murder mystery dinner for my birthday. Since it was a lot of work, I hosted it. I didn’t expect anyone to bring gifts - and we had a friend come in and act as the chef. I just wanted a bunch of my friends to come dressed up and ready to solve someone’s death. Y’know - birth and death come hand in hand. And I’ll do it again! Muahahah. That being said - I’m moving in to my own place in 2 weeks and my SO (who doesn’t live with me) is ‘hosting’ a housewarming/birthday party for me about a month later. It’s at my place - but he’s helping with the arrangements. It was his idea - I just had to provide him with the guest list. ---
**Author:** ![Maiira](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@Maiira](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maiira)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-throw-a-party-for-yourself/530996/74 "2010-03-04T23:34:12Z")
I said “no,” not because I think it’s rude, but because I suck at it. I cannot plan any sort of outing or event to save my life. Folks will ask me what I’m doing for my birthday the day before or even the day of, and I’ll be all “y’know, I have absolutely no idea.” ---
**Author:** ![Dusty\_Rose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ba8739/32.png) [@Dusty\_Rose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dusty_Rose)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2010, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-throw-a-party-for-yourself/530996/75 "2010-03-05T01:22:06Z")
I don’t have a problem throwing a party for just about any reason. I do believe that unless it’s a pot-luck, (and besides BYOB), the host should pay. My sister, to this day, calls me cheap because every year she “threw” a party for her husband at some _place_; mini-golf, whirly-ball, etc, but you always had to pay your own way. The year it was at whirly-ball, she informed me that it was 52.50 per couple! So between me, my spouse and my two kids, it was over $100! (Plus bring your own food and drink.) I complained, hence the “cheap” label. :smack: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-throw-a-party-for-yourself/530996.md?page=3)