# Would You Use a Love Potion? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 3, 2005, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-use-a-love-potion/315477 "2005-08-03T21:17:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2005, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-use-a-love-potion/315477/41 "2005-08-05T02:07:35Z")
I’d use a love potion, but not _just any_ love potion. You wouldn’t catch me with, say, love potion number eight. Do you know any gypsies with gold tattoos? ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2005, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-use-a-love-potion/315477/42 "2005-08-05T02:12:12Z")
Well, I’d never just give the potion to someone, because of the whole “I’d always know why he _really_ loves me” thing – plus, I’d be worried about someday falling out of love with him. Dooming someone to eternally unrequited love is cruel and unusual. And while I’m intrigued by the idea of both of us taking the potion, ultimately I can’t imagine wanting anyone _that_ much if he didn’t already love me. So, I’ll pass. > [@Sampiro](#): > > Now if I could use a Splenda Love Potion- one that doesn’t make somebody fall in love with you, but will just make them perhaps notice you a little more than they otherwise might and give you teensy edge while you do the rest, then you could probably put me down for an ounce or two. Amen! And tequila doesn’t count, **Jurph** : alcohol doesn’t guarantee that the object of my attention will notice _me_ a little more than he otherwise might. 😉 > [@Left Hand of Dorkness](#): > > I love the story, and it pretty much firmed up my resolution never to use a love potion. _A Midsummer Night’s Dream_ did the same for me. 😃 > [@Dr\_Paprika](#): > > Do you know any gypsies with gold tattoos? I’ve never heard that particular Mondegreen before! Ha! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Blalron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Blalron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blalron)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2005, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-use-a-love-potion/315477/43 "2005-08-05T02:17:22Z")
> [@SolGrundy](#): > > No way would I use one. I thought for a second that the “you both use it at the same time” angle added an interesting possibility, but really that wouldn’t work either. Even though it’d be mutual, you’d still never know how much was real and how much was because of the potion. What’s “real” anyway? Do you think “real” love is anything other than biochemical reactions in your brain? What if one of the effects of using the potion was to make you forget that you used the potion in the first place? ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2005, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-use-a-love-potion/315477/44 "2005-08-05T02:19:57Z")
I am the mondegreen king. For years, I thought the Cars were needing someone to feed, and someone to please. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Eleusis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Eleusis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eleusis)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2005, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-use-a-love-potion/315477/45 "2005-08-05T02:31:12Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > Now, if it was Sandra Bullock involved? Absolutely. In fact, let’s get started right now! Jesse James would kick your ass! ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2005, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-use-a-love-potion/315477/46 "2005-08-05T02:41:54Z")
What if the potion really worked? They aren’t just saying they love you. They are not just swearing they love you. They really love you. ---
**Author:** ![VarlosZ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d78d45/32.png) [@VarlosZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VarlosZ)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2005, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-use-a-love-potion/315477/47 "2005-08-05T03:48:18Z")
I wouldn’t use a _permanent_ love potion. I might decide down the road that I don’t want to be with this person any more, and then either I’d have to suffer with her or she’d have to suffer without me. I would, however, use a temporary version. Some poster’s have said it would be a lot like rape. Yeah, it would be like rape, except without any of the negative consequences. So, wait, how is it like rape again? ---
**Author:** ![SolGrundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@SolGrundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SolGrundy)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2005, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-use-a-love-potion/315477/48 "2005-08-05T04:12:19Z")
> [@Blalron](#): > > What’s “real” anyway? Do you think “real” love is anything other than biochemical reactions in your brain? Yes, as a matter of fact, I do. Substantially more. Somewhat like how a novel is more than ink on paper or pixels on a video screen. I believe in souls, too, and can’t explain what they are, either. > [@Blalron](#): > > What if one of the effects of using the potion was to make you forget that you used the potion in the first place? Doesn’t really change anything – it’d still be down to willingly doing something you’re averse to. ---
**Author:** ![Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spatial_Rift_47)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2005, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-use-a-love-potion/315477/49 "2005-08-05T04:18:03Z")
> [@Zebra](#): > > What if the potion really worked? They aren’t just saying they love you. They are not just swearing they love you. They really love you. Again, real love is an act of personal choice based on the object of affection. That “real love” would have to be conditional on how the taker of the potion perceives me. Since the taker of the potion doesn’t love me before the potion and does love me afterwards, that’s changing the potion taker’s perceptions withouth his/her knowledge. And I couldn’t live with that. > [@VarlosZ](#): > > I wouldn’t use a permanent love potion. I might decide down the road that I don’t want to be with this person any more, and then either I’d have to suffer with her or she’d have to suffer without me. > > I would, however, use a temporary version. Some poster’s have said it would be a lot like rape. Yeah, it would be like rape, except without any of the negative consequences. So, wait, how is it like rape again? Rape isn’t about sex, it’s about control. A rapist feels that he (show me a documented instance of a female rapist and I will dutifully stand corrected) is in control of his victim. By giving this potion to the object of your desire, you control said object, and my use of the word “object” becomes more than a little salient. In conclusion … my brain hurts. ---
**Author:** ![Fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bc8723/32.png) [@Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2005, 9:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-use-a-love-potion/315477/50 "2005-08-05T09:27:00Z")
In considering my answer, I have to say that a great deal would depend on _how_ the love potion worked. All **Bricker** said was that, to the best of our knowledge, the subject took it voluntarily; and that it lasted forever. The devil’s in the details, though. (I might still object to it, just for different reasons.) Part of what makes a relationship interesting is that you can learn things from somebody else, that a woman can see potential in me that I hadn’t seen before, and out of love she might help me become a better person. She loves me, in other words, in spite of my faults. If she actually _loved_ my faults and praised me lovingly for them, I’d feel ripped off, because _I know I have faults_. But another part of a loving relationship is reaching compromise on things you enjoy versus what your partner enjoys; and if she loved me such that she compromised and _behaved_ in a gently correcting, teaching, nurturing way… well, I’d still feel ripped off, because getting _her_ to compromise to _my_ wishes would be as easy as programming an android. Bleah, that doesn’t sound like much fun. I guess most of the romance would be deadened if you took away that daring, dangerous period of time when you’re learning about the other person, trying new things, exploring their past, not sure if you’re going to succeed… it’d be very very _safe_, and safe ain’t always romantic. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2005, 9:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-use-a-love-potion/315477/51 "2005-08-05T09:42:09Z")
To quote Poe, > [@](#): > > “There are chords in the hearts of the most reckless which cannot be touched without emotion. Even with the utterly lost, to whom life and death are equally jests, there are matters of which no jest can be made.” Now, there are probably a lot of rotten, callous, amoral at best things I might do if I could definately do them and get away with it, but this wouldn’t be one of them. Because, if for no other reason, it just wouldn’t _feel_ right. And in my book, when it comes to _love,_ “feelings” are what matter over everything else… ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2005, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-use-a-love-potion/315477/52 "2005-08-05T13:06:16Z")
[QUOTE=E = mc²] > [@js\_africanus](#): > > Even if the seducer at some point in the relationship craps unmercifuly on the target? If being crapped on would seduce you, then I suppose so. (Do you own a cat, by any chance? 😉 ) ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2005, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-use-a-love-potion/315477/53 "2005-08-05T13:51:05Z")
> [@Spatial Rift 47](#): > > Again, real love is an act of personal choice based on the object of affection. That “real love” would have to be conditional on how the taker of the potion perceives me. Since the taker of the potion doesn’t love me before the potion and does love me afterwards, that’s changing the potion taker’s perceptions withouth his/her knowledge. And I couldn’t live with that. You _choose_ who you love? You don’t _fall_ in love? ---
**Author:** ![Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spatial_Rift_47)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2005, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-use-a-love-potion/315477/54 "2005-08-05T13:58:34Z")
You’re splitting hairs. Yes, there is a part of being in love that feels like it’s bigger than our own choice, but the decision to pursue that interest **is** our own choice. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2005, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-use-a-love-potion/315477/55 "2005-08-05T14:02:29Z")
What if the person already liked you, but just didn’t feel romantic about you? Like she said “I love you but I’m not in love with you.” (the most annoying sentence ever!) Or “I wish I did love you but I don’t.” (another actual quote) Would it be OK to use it then? I don’t think I would use one. Unless the potion also worked on me. Then, maybe, just maybe. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2005, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-use-a-love-potion/315477/56 "2005-08-05T14:44:32Z")
> [@Zebra](#): > > You _choose_ who you love? > > You don’t _fall_ in love? Falling in love is highly overrated, and you \*can \* choose to love the person you’re with. There’s even a song about it. “If you can’t be with the one you love, Love the one you’re with” ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2005, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-use-a-love-potion/315477/57 "2005-08-05T15:03:44Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > Falling in love is highly overrated, and you \*can \* choose to love the person you’re with. > > There’s even a song about it. > > “If you can’t be with the one you love, > Love the one you’re with” With all due respect, I don’t believe I’m on board with the concept that pop music may be used as a source of wisdom on the merits of emotional or ethical propositions. And… I don’t think you can chose to feel love. I think you can chose how you react to your feelings of love, and I think you can chose how you react even when there are no feelings of love. But… I don’t agree you can chose to feel love. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2005, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-use-a-love-potion/315477/58 "2005-08-05T15:09:33Z")
> [@Bricker](#): > > With all due respect, I don’t believe I’m on board with the concept that pop music may be used as a source of wisdom on the merits of emotional or ethical propositions. I think it’s a bit closed-minded to automatically think the words mean nothing simply because they’re part of a pop song. I don’t care about the song or the singer, but words are all about how we relate to them. I only used them to more clearly say my point. > [@Bricker](#): > > And… I don’t think you can chose to feel love. I think you can chose how you react to your feelings of love, and I think you can chose how you react even when there are no feelings of love. > But… I don’t agree you can chose to feel love. Yes you can. Or, more clearly, you specifically may not be able to, but that doesn’t apply to everyone else. Particularly in the subject of love. You may be an expert in law, or any of the other things you debate on in GD and I wouldn’t presume to argue with you on 99 % of the things you say. But I won’t accept your word that you’re an expert on love. No one is. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2005, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-use-a-love-potion/315477/59 "2005-08-05T16:08:32Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > But I won’t accept your word that you’re an expert on love. No one is. This isn’t something that’s subject to rigorous proof. Different people experience what they call “love” very differently, I’m sure, and I think that a thirteen-year-old’s comment about her 14-year-old beau of two weeks refers to a different thing than does a 70-year-old woman celebrating her fiftieth anniversary. So I’m not trying to state a law of nature, here; I’m just offering my opinion. But my opinion here is a pertty strong one, and I’m going to repeat it, because I believe it’s consistent with how most people feel about, and experience, “love.” I don’t believe you can chose to love someone. I believe the feeling comes to you, or not, unbidden by conscious thought process. Or, as the George Strait song goes: > [@](#): > > You can’t make a heart love somebody, > You can tell it what to do > But it won’t listen at all > You can’t make a heart love somebody > You can lead a heart to love > But you can’t make it fall. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2005, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-use-a-love-potion/315477/60 "2005-08-05T16:18:39Z")
Besides I thought “Love the one you’re with” was about ‘free love’ or as some people say, sex. I don’t think love is a pure choice either. And if someone loved you, well, then what? Does that mean they would marry you? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-use-a-love-potion/315477.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-use-a-love-potion/315477.md?page=4)