# Would You Work For Your Spouse (SO) Knowing What You Know About Them? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 7, 2011, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-work-for-your-spouse-so-knowing-what-you-know-about-them/605357 "2011-12-07T06:53:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2011, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-work-for-your-spouse-so-knowing-what-you-know-about-them/605357/21 "2011-12-07T17:12:16Z")
I think he’d make a good boss and I know people like working for me, but no no no, I don’t want to work together. We have a partnership, not a hierarchy. ETA: He’s not as lazy as he thinks he is. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2011, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-work-for-your-spouse-so-knowing-what-you-know-about-them/605357/22 "2011-12-07T17:29:24Z")
Current SO. Absolutely. Where it comes to work she’s incredibly fair and not emotion-driven. We already brainstorm a lot on her work, and we work together brilliantly. I think she’s a genius and she thinks I’m one: I’m all flights of fancy and making unusual connections, she’s diligent and highly accomplished. I am also aware that she would be a hard taskmistress, but I kinda need that direction. She’s setting up her own business at the moment, and I will probably indeed end up working for her in the not-too-distant future. Previous spouse: no damn way in a million years. We broke up for other reasons, but me trying to teach her to drive nearly broke us up years before we actually split. My knowledge got absolutely zero respect from her at all despite the glaring facts that a) I had been driving for twenty years and b) she didn’t have a clue. Same went for any other situation in which we were both involved, where my expertise or direction were required. Having that attitude from someone in a managerial position over me would have been more of a disaster than the marriage was. ---
**Author:** ![MLS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@MLS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MLS)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2011, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-work-for-your-spouse-so-knowing-what-you-know-about-them/605357/23 "2011-12-07T18:28:54Z")
Under no circumstances. None. Love him very much as a friend and partner, but even being employed by the same company would make me crazy/crazier. ---
**Author:** ![Mrs.Cake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2acd7d/32.png) [@Mrs.Cake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mrs.Cake)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2011, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-work-for-your-spouse-so-knowing-what-you-know-about-them/605357/24 "2011-12-07T18:46:26Z")
Sure - he’s a great boss. Doesn’t micromanage, gives information/support/tools when needed, prefers employees who don’t need management. I’ve seen him work and know that as long as I did my job competently he’d be very easy to work for. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2011, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-work-for-your-spouse-so-knowing-what-you-know-about-them/605357/25 "2011-12-07T18:49:07Z")
Yes, but the company success would not have to be dependent on us working, because we’d just goof off all day long. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![perfectparanoia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a5b964/32.png) [@perfectparanoia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/perfectparanoia)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2011, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-work-for-your-spouse-so-knowing-what-you-know-about-them/605357/26 "2011-12-07T19:12:55Z")
No, no, NO! I am distinctly in charge at home and not being in charge with him around would make for a bad situation. (I wonder what he would say. Probably something about me being too demanding…) ---
**Author:** ![Agent\_Foxtrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc29f/32.png) [@Agent\_Foxtrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agent_Foxtrot)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2011, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-work-for-your-spouse-so-knowing-what-you-know-about-them/605357/27 "2011-12-07T19:34:03Z")
That’s tough. She knows what it’s like to be the low (wo)man on the totem pole, so she’d definitely treat her subordinates well. However, she has absolutely zero business acumen. She freezes in place when she has to make the simplest decisions. She doesn’t know how to research (e.g., finding out procedures of other businesses or the government). The business would fall apart in less than a year. I’d rather have a secure job than a benevolent boss, so I put “no”. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2011, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-work-for-your-spouse-so-knowing-what-you-know-about-them/605357/28 "2011-12-07T20:22:49Z")
Without a moment’s hesitation. ---
**Author:** ![delphica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9a140/32.png) [@delphica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/delphica)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2011, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-work-for-your-spouse-so-knowing-what-you-know-about-them/605357/29 "2011-12-07T21:12:48Z")
No, a thousand times no! Our work styles are so different that we only have the most social conversations at home about our jobs because even talking about the nuts and bolts of how we work is stressful. We have plenty of other things to talk about. ---
**Author:** ![Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tastes_of_chocolate/32/3232_2.png) [@Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tastes_of_Chocolate)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2011, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-work-for-your-spouse-so-knowing-what-you-know-about-them/605357/30 "2011-12-07T23:05:24Z")
> [@CrazyCatLady](#): > > I could either work for him or live with him, but not both on a long-term basis. Not because of any issues with him, mind you–all he asks of an employee is that they have their head out of their ass and be willing to work, and all I ask of a boss is that he have his head out of his ass and give me the occasional feedback that isn’t bitching about some picayune matter. But I just don’t think I could be around someone all day and then all evening too as daily proposition. Short-term it’s fine, like on vacation, but after about a month I’m pretty sure I’d need some space from him. In addition to the “too much time together” thing, there is also the fact that occasionally one of the other of us comes home and vents about work. Stupid customer tricks, stupid co-worker tricks, stupid boss tricks. That would be rather hard to do, if I worked for my SO. ---
**Author:** ![Icarus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icarus/32/72_2.png) [@Icarus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icarus)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2011, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-work-for-your-spouse-so-knowing-what-you-know-about-them/605357/31 "2011-12-08T01:12:37Z")
I already do at home, why would I do it at work too? Seriously, I have worked with (but not for) my spouse. There were some telling moments… My spouse prefers an unequal partnership at home (guess who is on top?). So, at work this would be the official dynamic, and I would not choose it. Also, I have enough experience to question their fundamental value system and day-to-day judgement on a number of topics. I would have trouble in a work environment with these factors. ---
**Author:** ![MissGypsy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8491ac/32.png) [@MissGypsy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissGypsy)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2011, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-work-for-your-spouse-so-knowing-what-you-know-about-them/605357/32 "2011-12-08T01:31:54Z")
Sure, and I have for years. My husband owns his own business, and I do some administrative stuff, editing, and graphic design for him. He can hand me a page of scribbled notes, and I put together his proposals, contracts, and such into something coherent and professional. It works because I can discern what the hell he’s thinking, even when he’s not quite sure. I used to do his invoicing too, but that didn’t work well, so he’s on his own with that, now. It takes him twice as long, but it keeps the peace around here. ---
**Author:** ![lavenderviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/cdc98d/32.png) [@lavenderviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lavenderviolet)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2011, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-work-for-your-spouse-so-knowing-what-you-know-about-them/605357/33 "2011-12-08T01:34:35Z")
I think he’d be a good boss. He would be fair and logical. But, yeah, I consider myself to be “the boss” at home. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![FlyByNight512](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/82dd89/32.png) [@FlyByNight512](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlyByNight512)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2011, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-work-for-your-spouse-so-knowing-what-you-know-about-them/605357/34 "2011-12-08T03:47:15Z")
Definitely. He’s a natural leader and very much a lead by example kind of person. He might not think much of me as an employee though, since I don’t have the type-A workaholic personality that he does. (Okay, that’s the nice way of saying that I do good quality work but can be lazy and waste time. I’m trying to get better… right after I finish writing this post…) I wouldn’t want to work for him and be married at the same time, though, I don’t think that’d work out well for us. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2011, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-work-for-your-spouse-so-knowing-what-you-know-about-them/605357/35 "2011-12-08T04:36:41Z")
I wouldn’t want to work for or with my wife, because it would confuse our domestic relationship, which is a hell of a lot more important. But if there were someone who had exactly the same knowledge, personality, way of thinking as my wife, but who I had no previous relationship with? I’d work for her in a heartbeat. Not sure whether that puts me in the ‘yes’ or ‘no’ category with respect to the poll, so I was a no-show there. ---
**Author:** ![Not\_a\_Platypus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/d26b3c/32.png) [@Not\_a\_Platypus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Not_a_Platypus)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2011, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-work-for-your-spouse-so-knowing-what-you-know-about-them/605357/36 "2011-12-08T13:39:34Z")
Absolutely. He’s a great manager and I’m actually hoping we can work out something next year where I can work as his assistant. We had a similar arrangement for a large part of 2010, when I was unemployed and helping him since he works from home, and overall we were both happier than we are now. The trick was to keep our communication strong so our personal relationship didn’t suffer at all. ---
**Author:** ![SecondJudith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5ac83/32.png) [@SecondJudith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SecondJudith)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2011, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-work-for-your-spouse-so-knowing-what-you-know-about-them/605357/37 "2011-12-08T14:13:00Z")
It isn’t clear to me whether we’re still married in the hypothetical. Are we working together and then going home together? Or are Hypothetical Me and Hypothetical Spouse just colleagues? ---
**Author:** ![ShelliBean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f9ae1b/32.png) [@ShelliBean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShelliBean)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2011, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-work-for-your-spouse-so-knowing-what-you-know-about-them/605357/38 "2011-12-08T16:03:23Z")
We worked together (as equals) for two years before we dated so I know him as both a coworker and an SO. Although I would not work for him now as both his employee and SO (we addressed it when I moved in) I would not, in theory, have a problem with him as a boss. He is kind and level headed. I just don’t want that much of a power shift in the relationship, and I know I would be the one to let the lines bleed. ---
**Author:** ![hlanelee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3bc359/32.png) [@hlanelee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hlanelee)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2011, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-work-for-your-spouse-so-knowing-what-you-know-about-them/605357/39 "2011-12-08T16:14:33Z")
My sweetie has an advanced case of MS and is left with only the use of her right hand. I left my job two and a half years ago to be her full time in home caregiver. So you could say that I do work for her. It’s the most important job I’ve ever had. ---
**Author:** ![Lanzy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/74df32/32.png) [@Lanzy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lanzy)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2011, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-work-for-your-spouse-so-knowing-what-you-know-about-them/605357/40 "2011-12-08T17:05:27Z")
Yes, she has worked for me in an office before, so I would feel comfortable reversing our roles knowing how professional she is. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-work-for-your-spouse-so-knowing-what-you-know-about-them/605357.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-work-for-your-spouse-so-knowing-what-you-know-about-them/605357.md?page=3)