# Would your spouse be upset if you went to a nudie bar? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 13, 2006, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-your-spouse-be-upset-if-you-went-to-a-nudie-bar/364270 "2006-07-13T01:25:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-your-spouse-be-upset-if-you-went-to-a-nudie-bar/364270/21 "2006-07-13T14:05:24Z")
When I was married I would go to strip clubs every so often with friends. My wife was more amused about it than anything else. She went a couple of times with one of her friends and I didn’t care at all. ---
**Author:** ![ShelliBean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f9ae1b/32.png) [@ShelliBean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShelliBean)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-your-spouse-be-upset-if-you-went-to-a-nudie-bar/364270/22 "2006-07-13T15:01:12Z")
I dont’ really care when my husband goes. He and his friend will visit with one another every couple months (they both get busy with stuff) whenever he is home and they go to the trashiest, nastiest one in town. We’re talking “Can you finish feeding the baby? I gotta go do my set.” kinda trash. I’ve been with him before a couple times, and once we went on a “strip club tour” of New Orleans on vacation and had a good time. I don’t mind. They don’t spend that much, he and his friend hang out and watch the one or two diamondells in the rough and come home. He explains it as “I get to hang out with my friend, and there’s titties.” I usually just have one thing to say to him: If you don’t come home horny, I know you got the happy ending! ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-your-spouse-be-upset-if-you-went-to-a-nudie-bar/364270/23 "2006-07-13T16:40:40Z")
Well, my husband’s been to a few strip clubs with friends over the years, and I don’t have a problem with it. I’ve gone to a couple of strip shows, too, and he doesn’t care. If it became a regular thing for either of us, though, we’d have to sit down and have a hard look at what all that drinking and tipping was doing to the budget. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-your-spouse-be-upset-if-you-went-to-a-nudie-bar/364270/24 "2006-07-13T17:29:11Z")
> [@](#): > > Lately, I have been having tons of fun going to strip clubs with friends. We get tipsy, stumble into the titty/dong bar, drink some more, have a blast, stumble out, move on to the next bar, and repeat until it’s time to make our way home. How do you make your way home after drinking until you stumble? I would be much more concerned with my darling Marcie driving while drunk than I would be with the fact that she visited a strip club with friends. It would be completely out of character for me to visit a strip club—those places do nothing but embarass me. Knowing that about me, Marcie would be concerned at the sudden change in my character. ---
**Author:** ![Stuffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f17d59/32.png) [@Stuffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stuffy)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-your-spouse-be-upset-if-you-went-to-a-nudie-bar/364270/25 "2006-07-13T17:34:28Z")
My wife is a bit of a prude, she’d be upset. If it were the other way around, I wouldn’t be bothered. ---
**Author:** ![AuntiePam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@AuntiePam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuntiePam)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-your-spouse-be-upset-if-you-went-to-a-nudie-bar/364270/26 "2006-07-13T17:35:19Z")
[QUOTE=UrbanChic] So I ask you, would you be upset if your spouse wanted to go to a nudie bar? Why? If you went to a strip club with a bunch of friends, do you think your spouse would be upset? Again, why? [/QUOTE] For hubby’s last birthday, I gave him fifty one-dollar bills and sent him off to the hooter bar with his friends. He and some friends go about once a year, to bars that don’t allow touching. So I don’t mind. But I don’t think he realizes how contemptuous the dancers are of their customers. I think he thinks that the dancers are somehow “connecting” with the guys, that the smiles are real. ---
**Author:** ![Stainz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecd19e/32.png) [@Stainz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stainz)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-your-spouse-be-upset-if-you-went-to-a-nudie-bar/364270/27 "2006-07-13T17:39:33Z")
I have zero interest in seeing strippers - male or female. When my girlfriends go to “Ladies’ Night” I politely decline. It all just seems SO cheesy, and not in a funny way, but in a really pathetic way. _shudder_. If I WANTED to go to watch dancers, my husband wouldn’t say ‘boo’ about it, but I do think he would mind if I was getting all liquored up and staggering from bar to bar in the process. If HE wanted to watch the peelers, I wouldn’t mind, much. I mean it would bug me a little because since having our baby last fall, I have a lot of body-image issues, and I just would worry that he would be watching these chicks and comparing their bodies to mine. ☹ But I wouldn’t forbid him or anything. I have to say, if he was going with a group of guys, I would mind it much less than if he went with a bunch of girls, as described in the OP. ---
**Author:** ![YaWanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/bbce88/32.png) [@YaWanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YaWanna)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-your-spouse-be-upset-if-you-went-to-a-nudie-bar/364270/28 "2006-07-13T17:44:31Z")
Two things: 1. I really don’t have any interest in going, nor do any of my friends (to my knowledge). 2. Yes, my spouse would blow a gasket, probably threaten me with divorce, and all kinds of other mean, nasty, ugly things you don’t really want to know about. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-your-spouse-be-upset-if-you-went-to-a-nudie-bar/364270/29 "2006-07-13T17:56:24Z")
Well, I don’t currently have a “spouse” per se, but I can’t imagine the guy I’m seeing would be particularly bothered if I went. I’ve been in the past and told him about it and he thought it was funny. I’ve never been bothered if boyfriends go either - more power to you. However, I had one boyfriend that used to piss me off by going to bikini bars, having drinks and then coming to my place and going on and on about how much hotter I was than the bikini waitresses. Uh, yah, no shit Sherlock. I think he meant it as a complement, but give me a break. ---
**Author:** ![ShelliBean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f9ae1b/32.png) [@ShelliBean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShelliBean)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-your-spouse-be-upset-if-you-went-to-a-nudie-bar/364270/30 "2006-07-13T19:37:34Z")
I guess I need to amend my answer to reflect the OP: I probably \*would \* have a problem with my husband going out, without me, with a group of straight women to a strip club. OK, no probably about it. I can have long conversations with myself about trust, respect and openness between such enlightening being as my husband and me but when it comes right down to it: no way. ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-your-spouse-be-upset-if-you-went-to-a-nudie-bar/364270/31 "2006-07-13T19:41:17Z")
Going to tittie bars doesn’t interest me much (some friends took me out to the block before my first wedding and I wound up in the Midway Bar for most of the night. It was my choice of where to go), and even if it did my wife wouldn’t care. I could care less if she wanted to go, although such a radical departure from what she has been interested in up until now would make me curious. My question is, where do you go? Baltimore St. is generally sleezy (I suppose the Hustler Club is the exception there, although I’ve neve been in it), and I’m wondering where else you can go where you would be able to “stumble out and move on to the next bar”. Most of the more upscale clubs on Rt 40 are too far apart to do that, there’s a couple on Haven St. near Orleans…Have I missed a new collection of tittie bars somehow? ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-your-spouse-be-upset-if-you-went-to-a-nudie-bar/364270/32 "2006-07-13T19:49:08Z")
I definitely want to see a Chippendale’s (or something) show at least once in my life. He knows this and would have no problem with it. He has been to strip clubs and I have had no problem with it. Once a month? It’d be weird. Neither of would ever get drunk, so that part of the question doesn’t even come into play. ---
**Author:** ![Anastasaeon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-your-spouse-be-upset-if-you-went-to-a-nudie-bar/364270/33 "2006-07-13T20:01:32Z")
I wouldn’t care if my husband wanted to go; however, he has no interest in those types of places, or in hanging out with the type of people it attracts. His idea of fun doesn’t involve drinking and carrying on, and he despises “loud” people. Me… eh. Not really my cup of tea either, but my husband wouldn’t care if I wanted to go with a group of friends, however regularly. We trust each enough. I wonder, though, if most of that trust is based on the fact that we know neither of us enjoy it much. It’s hard to say for sure. Anyway. As my posting history shows, we’re both such enormous _prudes_. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Danalan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/76d3ee/32.png) [@Danalan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Danalan)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-your-spouse-be-upset-if-you-went-to-a-nudie-bar/364270/34 "2006-07-13T20:17:19Z")
I note that your clubbing trips also include ‘dong’ bars. That’s a deal-breaker for straight guys, I suspect. The real problem might be these married guys going out getting stumbling drunk with a bunch of girls, or a mixed company including single women. Particularly in a sexually charged atmosphere. My wife would mind if I went out to strip clubs, although that wouldn’t stop me. She didn’t used to mind so much, but she’s become fairly prudish as she’s grown older. I wouldn’t mind if she went to one, for sure. I trust her. Come to think of it, where are you? I’ll go along. I know the rule at these places: You can read the menu, but you have to eat at home. ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-your-spouse-be-upset-if-you-went-to-a-nudie-bar/364270/35 "2006-07-13T23:03:07Z")
My wife wouldn’t mind if I passed an evening in a breast bar. We both know from an ex-bouncer friend that it’s rare for a customer to get laid by a dancer. She says she’ll worry if I **stop looking** at other women. It’s been a while since I went to one, though. There’s something about obviously being played for a chump that overrides the thrill of being up against a professional cockteaser. ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-your-spouse-be-upset-if-you-went-to-a-nudie-bar/364270/36 "2006-07-13T23:07:05Z")
Well, the waste of money and all that aside, I don’t think I’d really care. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-your-spouse-be-upset-if-you-went-to-a-nudie-bar/364270/37 "2006-07-13T23:17:27Z")
Only if she went to see if they were hiring. ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2006, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-your-spouse-be-upset-if-you-went-to-a-nudie-bar/364270/38 "2006-07-14T13:12:29Z")
She wouldn’t mind if it made be primed and ready for action when I got home. But I find the clubs more sad than erotic. ---
**Author:** ![badbadrubberpiggy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/57b2e6/32.png) [@badbadrubberpiggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/badbadrubberpiggy)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2006, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-your-spouse-be-upset-if-you-went-to-a-nudie-bar/364270/39 "2006-07-14T13:18:35Z")
[QUOTE=Anastasaeon] Me… eh. Not really my cup of tea either, but my husband wouldn’t care if I wanted to go with a group of friends, however regularly. We trust each enough. I wonder, though, if most of that trust is based on the fact that we know neither of us enjoy it much. It’s hard to say for sure. Anyway. As my posting history shows, we’re both such enormous _prudes_. 😉 [/QUOTE] Be careful if you do go, sometimes penis ensues at these kinds of places. To the OP: I’d be really surprised if my husband expressed an interest in going to a strip club, so it’s hard to answer. Knowing his personality, and his general embarassment about places like strip clubs, I’d be worried if he all of a sudden wanted to go. On general principles, I’d bo OK with it - I’ve had ex-boyfriends who’ve gone and have not been bothered by it. He’d probably be OK if I wanted to go, though it’s not really my thing either. There was a possibility of strippers at my bachelorette party, and he was OK with that (there ended up not being any). ---
**Author:** ![El\_Perro\_Fumando](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e9c0ed/32.png) [@El\_Perro\_Fumando](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Perro_Fumando)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2006, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-your-spouse-be-upset-if-you-went-to-a-nudie-bar/364270/40 "2006-07-14T13:28:54Z")
Ok, so I’d only go to get pointers (I do stripperobics for exercise and yes, I practice at home 😛 ) If my husband wanted to go for anything other than a bachelor party, I’d be a little concerned that he felt the need to pay someone for something that his wife does at home for free. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-your-spouse-be-upset-if-you-went-to-a-nudie-bar/364270.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-your-spouse-be-upset-if-you-went-to-a-nudie-bar/364270.md?page=3)