# Wow a magic penis **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 7, 2005, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-a-magic-penis/302850 "2005-05-07T19:54:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![andrewdt85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/71e660/32.png) [@andrewdt85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andrewdt85)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2005, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-a-magic-penis/302850/1 "2005-05-07T19:54:35Z")
I never realized that the name Magic Johnson has comedic capabilities. My goodness. It was just like a little comedic lightbulb. I must be the last person on earth to realize that. šŸ†’ ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2005, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-a-magic-penis/302850/2 "2005-05-07T19:58:53Z")
I would have thought the song written about him, **Puff the Magic Johnson** , would have given it away. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2005, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-a-magic-penis/302850/3 "2005-05-07T20:07:18Z")
Even though it was a serious situation, I was _rolling_ when I heard the name of the FBI agent who gave the press conference after the Centennial Park bombing: Woody Johnson. Incidentally, I used to work with a woman named Felicia Johnson. Also, Dewey Wong. ---
**Author:** ![Moirai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/96bed5/32.png) [@Moirai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moirai)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2005, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-a-magic-penis/302850/4 "2005-05-07T20:12:42Z")
Charity Muff is a terrible name for a baby girl. Except that Dr. & Mrs. Muff didnā€™t think so! My married name is Johnson, and we have two sons, so we had some pretty damn funny conversations about baby names! ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2005, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-a-magic-penis/302850/5 "2005-05-07T20:13:34Z")
A friend of mine dated a girl named Trixie Oā€™Rear. ---
**Author:** ![inkleberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f17d59/32.png) [@inkleberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/inkleberry)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2005, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-a-magic-penis/302850/6 "2005-05-07T20:19:26Z")
In high school I knew a girl named Emma Lester, and another called Sharra Friend. We also have a friend who is quite fat, and thus everyone calls him ā€œTiny.ā€ His last name, sadly, is Johnson. Heā€™s an asian immigrant, and we heard him introduce himself to several times to ladies as ā€œTiny Johnsonā€ before he was clued in. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Anastasaeon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2005, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-a-magic-penis/302850/7 "2005-05-07T22:09:42Z")
As I mentioned in another thread, I know a real-life Anita Dick. She has a cousin named, oddly, Richard Dick. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Dazzling\_White\_Diamonds](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/41988e/32.png) [@Dazzling\_White\_Diamonds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dazzling_White_Diamonds)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2005, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-a-magic-penis/302850/8 "2005-05-08T02:08:57Z")
> [@Anastasaeon](#): > > As I mentioned in another thread, I know a real-life Anita Dick. > > She has a cousin named, oddly, Richard Dick. :dubious: Heh. I used to be friends with a wonderful woman named Anita, who married a guy with the last name of Peters. I asked her why she took his last name, and it just never occurred to her not to. Bless her heart. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2005, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-a-magic-penis/302850/9 "2005-05-08T02:14:01Z")
> [@Anastasaeon](#): > > She has a cousin named, oddly, Richard Dick. :dubious: ā€˜Dick Dickā€™? Sounds like a dwarf antelope. ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2005, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-a-magic-penis/302850/10 "2005-05-08T04:55:59Z")
> [@inkleberry](#): > > In high school I knew a girl named Emma Lester, and another called Sharra Friend. We also have a friend who is quite fat, and thus everyone calls him ā€œTiny.ā€ His last name, sadly, is Johnson. Heā€™s an asian immigrant, and we heard him introduce himself to several times to ladies as ā€œTiny Johnsonā€ before he was clued in. :smack: An asian immigrant named Johnson??? I assume he isnā€™t really an ā€œasian immigrantā€ in a classical sense then? ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2005, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-a-magic-penis/302850/11 "2005-05-08T07:07:08Z")
> [@Dazzling White Diamonds](#): > > ā€¦ a wonderful woman named Anita, who married a guy with the last name of Peters. I donā€™t get it. ---
**Author:** ![pasunejen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/58956e/32.png) [@pasunejen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pasunejen)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2005, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-a-magic-penis/302850/12 "2005-05-08T07:20:35Z")
> [@andrewdt85](#): > > I never realized that the name Magic Johnson has comedic capabilities. My goodness. It was just like a little comedic lightbulb. I must be the last person on earth to realize that. šŸ†’ You realized it before me. Man. Iā€™m not normally one to miss something like thatā€¦Iā€™m losing it! ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2005, 8:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-a-magic-penis/302850/13 "2005-05-08T08:12:19Z")
> [@GuanoLad](#): > > I donā€™t get it. Anita Petersā€¦I need a peter(s)ā€¦ I met a Richard Long at a bar once. He was fortunate in that his name, uh, was aptly descriptiveā€¦ ---
**Author:** ![inkleberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f17d59/32.png) [@inkleberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/inkleberry)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2005, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-a-magic-penis/302850/14 "2005-05-08T16:02:25Z")
> [@devilsknew](#): > > An asian immigrant named Johnson??? > > I assume he isnā€™t really an ā€œasian immigrantā€ in a classical sense then? He was very new in the country, but his family changed their last name when they got here. His real name is absolutely unpronouncable, hence, we dubbed him ā€œTiny.ā€ ---
**Author:** ![Largo62](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/45deac/32.png) [@Largo62](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Largo62)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2005, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-a-magic-penis/302850/15 "2005-05-08T16:31:04Z")
I knew a guy in college whose name was Randy Dick. Donā€™t know whether he lived up to his name, though. My dad told me about a kid in his school whose last name was Bates. His classmates (boys) loved calling him ā€œMaster Bates.ā€ ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2005, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-a-magic-penis/302850/16 "2005-05-08T17:54:13Z")
I just have to say that every time I read the thread title, I get the tune of Willy Wonkaā€™s _Iā€™ve Got A Golden Ticket_ playing in my head. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2005, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-a-magic-penis/302850/17 "2005-05-08T18:49:23Z")
> [@Anastasaeon](#): > > As I mentioned in another thread, I know a real-life Anita Dick. > > She has a cousin named, oddly, Richard Dick. :dubious: Iā€™ve met two generations of Dick Lusts. (And granddaddy, who I never saw, was reportedly a ā€œDick Lust,ā€ too.) A close associate of the middle ā€œDick Lustā€ was named ā€œPeter Lunt,ā€ which probably wouldnā€™t have been funny on its own, but became hysterical as a sort of aggregate thing. I have an ad in for a room to let and received this in my inbox the other day: > [@](#): > > Iā€™m 22-asian-female student. Iā€™m looking for room to stay in 1 june-16july . Iā€™m interesting in yr room. pls give more info and make an appointment if you want me to join yr house. > > Sincerely, > Sirinporn Tawativasin I would really hate to be a 22-year-old girl with that name going to school in Canada. Itā€™s a nice name but itā€™s almost Joycean in its evocativeness. Damn. ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2005, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-a-magic-penis/302850/18 "2005-05-08T19:51:04Z")
> [@pasunejen](#): > > You realized it before me. Man. Iā€™m not normally one to miss something like thatā€¦Iā€™m losing it! Donā€™t feel bad, I never caught that either, until this thread. ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2005, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-a-magic-penis/302850/19 "2005-05-08T20:13:18Z")
Iā€™ve seen Master Wan-Ka around here for ever, and assumed it was some sort of zen reference. Only yesterday I realised his nameā€™s a pun, too. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2005, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-a-magic-penis/302850/20 "2005-05-08T21:47:23Z")
> [@Maastricht](#): > > Iā€™ve seen Master Wan-Ka around here for ever, and assumed it was some sort of zen reference. Only yesterday I realised his nameā€™s a pun, too. :smack: Crap, is there anything on this Earth that _doesnā€™t_ go right over my head? ā˜¹ [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-a-magic-penis/302850.md?page=2)