# Wow and camoes from other tracts. Chick's new Tract. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 7, 2003, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-and-camoes-from-other-tracts-chicks-new-tract/173666 "2003-05-07T14:40:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 11:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-and-camoes-from-other-tracts-chicks-new-tract/173666/41 "2003-05-08T11:09:19Z")
It calls the eternal question: If ‘Bob’ goes to Heaven, is it a place I really want to go to? How’d you like to get to Heaven and find out ‘Bob’ is your roommate for all eternity? ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-and-camoes-from-other-tracts-chicks-new-tract/173666/42 "2003-05-08T11:42:12Z")
Psycho-scout came to the Lord in [this](http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/5018/5018_01.asp) tract, after Bob explained that all you need to do is simply believe, and not be homosexual. ---
**Author:** ![Summertime](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ab992/32.png) [@Summertime](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Summertime)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-and-camoes-from-other-tracts-chicks-new-tract/173666/43 "2003-05-08T13:26:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Azure Eternity \* > \*\*I liked the grave in panel thirty with the heading “…and the dead in Christ shall rise first”. Looks like the corpse launched out of there like a rocket. I would hate to be one of the non-believers in the cemetery when all the graves start exploding with dead people. \*\* Are you kidding? That would be great! “Get the video cam, Marge!” ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-and-camoes-from-other-tracts-chicks-new-tract/173666/44 "2003-05-08T16:51:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MercyStreet \* > \*\ ***"Jesus broke this terrible news."** > “Reporting live … from Jerusalem … this is Jesus of Nazareth.” \*\* “Jesus News…We report, You get saved.” I’m so going to hell. ---
**Author:** ![kingpengvin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9dc877/32.png) [@kingpengvin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kingpengvin)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-and-camoes-from-other-tracts-chicks-new-tract/173666/45 "2003-05-08T17:01:39Z")
Ok Time to resurrect the “Rate the entertainment Value of Chick’s tracts” for this one Here we go A cheap shot at The UN and Kofi Anan +10 Flaming death of non believers +10 No showing their horrible fate -10 No one gets fried at all in the tract -15 Bob In the Hazard Suit reporting the success of his mission (ok maybe not) +5 “Many Military Leaders fear this could lead to Armageddon” +15 Return of the Young Mary Worth posing as Bob’s “Wife” -5 The High Streess Mary Anne Singing to herself +13 Pretending Catholics are too busy worrying what Mary thinks -5 Hiding Bob’s salivating face during his World so horrible speech -10 Return of Mummy Jesus +5 Evil Proffesor cutting up the Bible +5 Cheap shot at Billy Graham +10 Savage in caveman clothes getting converted by high pressure salesman in bad tee shirt +10 Coffin projectile blasting out of the Earth +20 (cheap shot at Masons and catholics in same panel +5) Flying people off to heaven for the second time(remember Jack sends his dead to heaven right away. So why are they being judged again? Did God make a mistake the first time or did these guys not grovel enough in their gold mansions in heaven?) -10 Mary Anne seems to be blowing while lighting up… -10 Mary Anne gets Uglier when she refuses to stop worshiping Jesus as a Catholic and start worshiping Jesus as a Chickite +5 Pastor Malcom (X?) returns to preach to all the happy white folk -5 Can I hear a Hallelujah from the Boyscout with the new cross replacing her skull symbol on her hat? + 10 No Devil or his minions -5 Not a single HAW HAW HAW in the whole piece -10 Score: 38 Teachers comments: Poor Art work and lack of any real conflict between good and evil. A poor effort. needs improvement. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-and-camoes-from-other-tracts-chicks-new-tract/173666/46 "2003-05-08T17:53:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kantalooppi \* > \*\*Uncle Bob’s eyes still have that vacant stare. Is he on drugs or something? \*\* Oh, he’s high all right. High on Jesus. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![kingpengvin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9dc877/32.png) [@kingpengvin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kingpengvin)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-and-camoes-from-other-tracts-chicks-new-tract/173666/47 "2003-05-08T19:27:07Z")
How do you roll up and smoke Jesus? Do you need to add tobacco? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-and-camoes-from-other-tracts-chicks-new-tract/173666/48 "2003-05-08T19:37:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by kingpengvin \* > \*\*How do you roll up and smoke Jesus? Do you need to add tobacco? \*\* Why not ask [this](http://www.theonion.com/onion3110/smokeanything.html) guy? ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-and-camoes-from-other-tracts-chicks-new-tract/173666/49 "2003-05-08T21:39:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mangetout \* > \*\*Psycho-scout came to the Lord in [this](http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/5018/5018_01.asp) tract, after Bob explained that all you need to do is simply believe, and not be homosexual. \*\* Looking back on that tract, I notice the blind boyscout has a pet mouse in his pocket the entire time. Ever watched skateboarders? Even the really good ones fall all the time. Hard. And this kid is _blind_! He was stack every three minutes! How many pet mice do you think he goes through, and who has to clean out the mess out of his pockets? ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-and-camoes-from-other-tracts-chicks-new-tract/173666/50 "2003-05-08T23:12:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Azure Eternity \* > \*\*I liked the grave in panel thirty with the heading “…and the dead in Christ shall rise first”. Looks like the corpse launched out of there like a rocket. I would hate to be one of the non-believers in the cemetery when all the graves start exploding with dead people. \*\* Sure, give people who live near cemetaries all the breaks. All they have to do is wait until the dead start launching like missiles, then repent! Guess I’ll have to bury a fundie under the basement so that I’ve got myself an ‘early warning system’! ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-and-camoes-from-other-tracts-chicks-new-tract/173666/51 "2003-05-08T23:26:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Miller \* > \*\*Looking back on that tract, I notice the blind boyscout has a pet mouse in his pocket the entire time. Ever watched skateboarders? Even the really good ones fall all the time. Hard. And this kid is _blind_! He was stack every three minutes! How many pet mice do you think he goes through, and who has to clean out the mess out of his pockets? \*\* No wonder he smells of death and devils. ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_Wright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@Steve\_Wright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_Wright)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-and-camoes-from-other-tracts-chicks-new-tract/173666/52 "2003-05-09T12:22:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mangetout \* > \*\*Psycho-scout came to the Lord in [this](http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/5018/5018_01.asp) tract, after Bob explained that all you need to do is simply believe, and not be homosexual. \*\* Thank you, **Mangetout** ; I’m glad one of us has his finger on the pulse when it comes to events in the wonderful world of Chick, and I’m especially glad it’s you, and not me. ---
**Author:** ![kingpengvin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9dc877/32.png) [@kingpengvin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kingpengvin)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-and-camoes-from-other-tracts-chicks-new-tract/173666/53 "2003-05-09T16:41:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Chimera \* > \*\*Sure, give people who live near cemetaries all the breaks. All they have to do is wait until the dead start launching like missiles, then repent! > > Guess I’ll have to bury a fundie under the basement so that I’ve got myself an ‘early warning system’! \*\* MILDRED: Harry did you just see that?!!Bob’s coffin just blew a hole through our roof! JOHN: Shut up Mildred and Start praying!!! Mildred: Yeah, but he took the cat with him! JOHN: @!!!\*\*! the Cat! MILDRED: Did you just take the lord’s name in Vain? JOHN: SHUT UP! Can’t you see I’m @!!!\*\*! praying here?!! MILDRED: Look ex father Damian just disapeared from his front lawn… JOHN: WHAT?!?! MILDRED: Oh dear he left all his clothes behind! JOHN: OH that’s just great! MILDRED: What?!? JOHN: See what you did!? Now I missed the Rature! MILDRED: Don’t blame me Mr. potty Mouth! I have no time for this silliness. I have to go to meditate! You’d better fix the hole in the ceiling and the other two floors. JOHN: @!!!\*\*! Mildred! ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-and-camoes-from-other-tracts-chicks-new-tract/173666/54 "2003-05-09T17:38:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by kingpengvin \* > \*\*[Who’s missing](http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/5024/5024_01.asp) starts with the death of… well it almost appears to be Mr kofi Annan \*\* …or maybe Fred Sanford. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-and-camoes-from-other-tracts-chicks-new-tract/173666/55 "2003-05-09T19:02:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by kingpengvin \* > \*\*How do you roll up and smoke Jesus? Do you need to add tobacco? \*\* I don’t know but it’s got to be healthier than shooting up with Sweet Jesus. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-and-camoes-from-other-tracts-chicks-new-tract/173666/56 "2003-05-13T19:33:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Diogenes the Cynic \* > **Coincidentally, I did have an OT teacher who said that Jonah was a “folktale.” He didn’t chop it up with scissors though, an it wasn’t derisive, it was just an explication of genre.** Jesus Christ! (So to speak.) I didn’t notice that the thing in the professor’s hand in panel 11 was a pair of _scissors_ when I first read this! I thought he was just tapping the page with a short baton. I guess Chick can only imagine someone “sabotaging” the bible literally (just like he takes everything else in the bible literally). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-and-camoes-from-other-tracts-chicks-new-tract/173666.md?page=2)