My cousin used to nurse at the VA in the “grab ward” This was where old vets recouped mostly from strokes. Their wives watches in horror as these proper old men grabbed and tried to fondle the nurses - and apologized repeatedly stating that they couldn’t believe their husband of 40 years would ever… The nurses constantly assured the wives that this was a normal thing for stroke patients. (They also often suddenly developed the mouths of sailors - swearing a blue streak.)
Age and neurological damage can do strange things to a person.
I opened this thread all prepared to blast someone for being an asshole, and intead found it to be heartbreaking.
Heartbreaking, not in the least because my father is having some of these problems. Not the dementia, thank the gods, but he is losing is memory. He can remember things that happened when he was a kid in 1937 with no problem, but ask him what happened yesterday, and he probably won’t remember.
During the past five years, he lost the ability to drive, then he lost the ability to prepare his own food and otherwise live alone, then he was in the hospital, and now he is in a nursing home, where he is actually getting healthier. (Not being allowed to smoke made a big difference.)
It’s heartbreaking all right. My mother in in early stages of Alzheimer’s and I suppose the worst thing is knowing that it is not going to bet better, ever. I think it’s a bit worse when she realises that she cannot remember something from ten minutes ago, yet it’s so exasperating getting into repetitive conversational loops with her. Pretty awful for my dad, I should think, although he keeps quiet about it.
As she realises a bit of what’s happening, she will try to do crosswords etc “to keep the brain active”, but, well, it’s worth it for the enjoyment, but from what I can see, it’s a nice enjoyable thing to do, but it aint gonnae help.
