# Wow...Sparks..the energy drink **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 4, 2005, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-sparks-the-energy-drink/292833 "2005-03-04T00:59:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2005, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-sparks-the-energy-drink/292833/21 "2005-03-05T05:29:25Z")
> [@Aesiron](#): > > When I was working at a convenience store in 2002, I was sometimes called in to cover for shifts like two hours after I’d gone to bed so I would brew up a whole pot of coffee, stick it in the freezer to cool down rapidly, and then literally drink the entire pot down in four or five chugs along with two Stacker 2s. > > Talk about a rush. It’s a wonder you’re still alive! ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2005, 11:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-sparks-the-energy-drink/292833/22 "2005-03-05T11:25:51Z")
> [@World Eater](#): > > I tried a can of that stuff a few months ago, tastes like stomach acid. That’s the special two-for-one deal: “Tastes the same going down as it does coming up, or we’ll give you your money back.” ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2005, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-sparks-the-energy-drink/292833/23 "2005-03-05T15:03:23Z")
> [@World Eater](#): > > I tried a can of that stuff a few months ago, tastes like stomach acid. So what you’re saying is, it tastes better than beer? ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2005, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-sparks-the-energy-drink/292833/24 "2005-03-05T16:08:08Z")
> [@unclviny](#): > > “Don’t let it get me” > “Don’t let it get me now” > > Sorry, that’s Sparks…the band. > > Unclviny heartbeat! Increasing heartbeat! This town ain’t big enough for the both of us! ---
**Author:** ![unclviny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e274bd/32.png) [@unclviny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/unclviny)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2005, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-sparks-the-energy-drink/292833/25 "2005-03-06T01:06:11Z")
> [@TwistofFate](#): > > heartbeat! Increasing heartbeat! > This town ain’t big enough for the both of us! Aaahhhh Sparks, I used to do a long, long radio show in the middle of the night and when I ran out of music I would play stuff from the station library based solely on the cover art. This is how I discovered Sparks, one night I played “Eaten by the Monster of Love” and the rest is history. Over time I developed my “Sparks theory”, they have released 746 (or thereabouts) albums and each album has exactly 1 good song so purchase Sparks records at your own risk. Unclviny ---
**Author:** ![duffer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duffer/32/1026_2.png) [@duffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/duffer)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2005, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-sparks-the-energy-drink/292833/26 "2005-03-06T12:45:13Z")
> [@FilmGeek](#): > > B to the E (Bud’s new energy beer) I’ve heard the product is coming out but never heard a name for it. Is it seriously calld B to the E? If so why didn’t they just go with B to tha E and steal I’m Lovin’ It from McDonald’s? ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2005, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-sparks-the-energy-drink/292833/27 "2005-03-06T13:52:53Z")
Its the Mammonite Church versus the Chemical Calvinists. The Mammonites want to sell you buzz. Humans like buzz, they are wildly enthusiastic about mucking about with the chemical balance of their brains. The Chemical Calvinists hate buzz, if it feels good, don’t even _think_ about doing it. Stop that! Right now! So there’s only a few chemicals legal. For upper buzz, you’ve got yer caffeine, yer caffeine and more of that caffeine. Anything else, and yer busted. So now they have about five thousand different ways to sell you…caffeine. The other crap…the ginseng, the taurine, the gava gava root…is just to make it exotic, maybe give you that sense of doing something just the teensiest bit daring and unconventional, kind of like wearing a bow-tie. Its just caffiene. I’m surprised friend **Reeder** overlooked the Marxist implications of all this, juicing up the working class _lumpenproles_ to squeeze a little extra productivity without actually paying them more. Must not have had his coffee yet. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2005, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-sparks-the-energy-drink/292833/28 "2005-03-06T16:14:20Z")
Remember back in the old days when they used to just load up the soda pop with cocaine…now THAT was an energy drink. ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2005, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-sparks-the-energy-drink/292833/29 "2005-03-06T18:40:44Z")
> [@unclviny](#): > > Over time I developed my “Sparks theory”, they have released 746 (or thereabouts) albums and each album has exactly 1 good song so purchase Sparks records at your own risk. Oh, come now. The _Woofer-Kimono-Propaganda-Indiscreet_ sequence was pure gold. ---
**Author:** ![Ninja\_Pizza\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f04885/32.png) [@Ninja\_Pizza\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ninja_Pizza_Guy)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2005, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-sparks-the-energy-drink/292833/30 "2005-03-06T19:00:08Z")
> [@E-Sabbath](#): > > Poly: Sounds like the time I took a Stacker 2, and washed it down with a diet coke. I didn’t think about the oh my god my heart just escaped from my chest side effects. I laugh in your general direction, whatever that may be. Listen, and learn just how stupid youth can be without the use of illegal drugs. The time: 7:30 pm, PST The place: the east edge of LA The goal: I must be in Florida as soon as possible. The hurtles: I’m driving, and I’ve been driving since 4:00 that morning. The solution: some brand of caffine pills with 2x the caffine of NoDoz. Label sez “take 2, take another every two hours.” Scoff at label; that’s not even a maintenance dose. Take half a box, wash down with a 2-liter bottle of Mountain Dew. Take 2 more every 30-60 minutes, washed down with more Mountain Dew. The big problem: the earthquake when I stopped for gas at El Paso. At least, I **thought** it was an earthquake, but soon realized it was just me. And **B to the E**? Beer is **blech** , and most energy drinks are **ewrk** , so this stuff is **Blech** to the **Ewrk** power? How… yummy. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-sparks-the-energy-drink/292833.md?page=1)