# Wow, that was kind of assholish, constanze
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-that-was-kind-of-assholish-constanze/477411
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [December 16, 2008, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-that-was-kind-of-assholish-constanze/477411 "2008-12-16T16:36:07Z")
**Posts on this page:** 15
**Page:** 2
### Author:  [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)
#### Post date: [December 16, 2008, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-that-was-kind-of-assholish-constanze/477411/21 "2008-12-16T19:27:55Z")
> [@smiling\_bandit](#):
>
> Wow. Generalize much? Maybe you’ve been watching too many movies.
Actually, everything in American movies and TV shows is extremely realistic and accurately reflects real life. I learned this from Europeans, back when I was living in Europe. I was very grateful to them for explaining this to me; as an American, I am very stupid.
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### Author:  [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)
#### Post date: [December 16, 2008, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-that-was-kind-of-assholish-constanze/477411/22 "2008-12-16T19:30:52Z")
> [@Kyla](#):
>
> … as an American, I am very stupid.
What are you doing here? You should be watching (or on) Jerry Springer.
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### Author:  [@Frodo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frodo)
#### Post date: [December 16, 2008, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-that-was-kind-of-assholish-constanze/477411/23 "2008-12-16T19:36:57Z")
In high school I was told seriously by a fellow student that the U.S.A. was “just a big desert”…
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### Author:  [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)
#### Post date: [December 16, 2008, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-that-was-kind-of-assholish-constanze/477411/24 "2008-12-16T19:47:13Z")
> [@Lobsang](#):
>
> What are you doing here? You should be watching (or on) Jerry Springer.
I swear to god I have never seen so much of one show as when I spent a few hours channel surfing in the UK; it was like one big Jerry Springer marathon, except that it was on several channels. It was a bit mortifying.
Isn’t there some kind of British version of Jerry Springer? Or are you all too tasteful and reserved?
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### Author:  [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)
#### Post date: [December 16, 2008, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-that-was-kind-of-assholish-constanze/477411/25 "2008-12-16T19:49:56Z")
The Jerremy Kyle show. Makes JS look like University Challenge.
[ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cshuY5fJmpg)
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### Author:  [@beanpod](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beanpod)
#### Post date: [December 16, 2008, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-that-was-kind-of-assholish-constanze/477411/26 "2008-12-16T19:51:36Z")
[QUOTE=Lobsang]
Help me out here, the world needs to know about those weird Americans.
[/QUOTE]
Americans are so dumb, we need to be told not to use our hair dryers while sleeping, and that hand lotion is for external use only.
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### Author:  [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)
#### Post date: [December 16, 2008, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-that-was-kind-of-assholish-constanze/477411/27 "2008-12-16T20:08:06Z")
> [@beanpod](#):
>
> Americans are so dumb, we need to be told not to use our hair dryers while sleeping, and that hand lotion is for external use only.
OTOH, I actually know a guy who burned himself while trying to use an iron on clothes he was wearing at the time. This guy was a court bailiff and presumably of moderate intelligence. The burn mark was pretty spectacular. I think I would have come up with a good lie as to how it happened.
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### Author:  [@NAF1138](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NAF1138)
#### Post date: [December 16, 2008, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-that-was-kind-of-assholish-constanze/477411/28 "2008-12-16T20:25:01Z")
> [@Captain\_Amazing](#):
>
> Well, Americans also [“shoot at everything that threatens them”](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=10578721&postcount=36), [grin like lobotomy patients](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=497319), and [beat our children](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=10570535&postcount=43).
You missed that we sue everything in sight also.
It’s right there in your last link about child beating, I don’t know how you could have missed it. I would head over with my lawyer to give you what for, but I can’t find my gun and don’t want to be attacked by the roving bands of dangerous heavily armed and drug addicted youths roaming our streets.
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### Author:  [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)
#### Post date: [December 16, 2008, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-that-was-kind-of-assholish-constanze/477411/29 "2008-12-16T21:22:16Z")
> [@NAF1138](#):
>
> It’s right there in your last link about child beating, I don’t know how you could have missed it. I would head over with my lawyer to give you what for, but I can’t find my gun and don’t want to be attacked by the roving bands of dangerous heavily armed and drug addicted youths roaming our streets.
No, it’s fine, come on over. Just go with a teacher, so ff the youths give you any trouble, he can beat them, as teachers are wont to do.
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### Author:  [@Incensed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incensed)
#### Post date: [December 16, 2008, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-that-was-kind-of-assholish-constanze/477411/30 "2008-12-16T22:38:14Z")
> [@GilaB](#):
>
> Don’t forget that [we shoot everything that moves](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=10578721&postcount=36), forcing our cops to fear for their lives.
Well, to be fair, our cops shoot everything that moves as well. Including other cops. And dogs. And, on very special occasions, [combinations thereof.](http://www.roanoke.com/news/nrv/wb/187586)
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### Author:  [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freddy_the_Pig)
#### Post date: [December 17, 2008, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-that-was-kind-of-assholish-constanze/477411/31 "2008-12-17T01:20:05Z")
I’m too busy [wallowing in my own bathroom filth](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=10577064&postcount=32) to have an opinion on this topic.
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### Author:  [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)
#### Post date: [December 17, 2008, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-that-was-kind-of-assholish-constanze/477411/32 "2008-12-17T01:35:28Z")
> [@Frodo](#):
>
> In high school I was told seriously by a fellow student that the U.S.A. was “just a big desert”…
You sure the phrase was actually “vast wasteland”?
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### Author:  [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)
#### Post date: [December 17, 2008, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-that-was-kind-of-assholish-constanze/477411/33 "2008-12-17T02:10:37Z")
> [@Frodo](#):
>
> In high school I was told seriously by a fellow student that the U.S.A. was “just a big desert”…
Are you sure he didn’t mean “just a big _dessert_”? Big portion sizes in the US, you know.
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### Author:  [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)
#### Post date: [December 17, 2008, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-that-was-kind-of-assholish-constanze/477411/34 "2008-12-17T02:40:56Z")
> [@Drain\_Bead](#):
>
> OTOH, I actually know a guy who burned himself while trying to use an iron on clothes he was wearing at the time. This guy was a court bailiff and presumably of moderate intelligence. The burn mark was pretty spectacular. I think I would have come up with a good lie as to how it happened.
The same thing happened to [Atlanta Braves pitcher] [John Smoltz](http://thesportsflow.blogspot.com/2007/02/unconventional-path-to-dl.html).
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### Author:  [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)
#### Post date: [December 17, 2008, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-that-was-kind-of-assholish-constanze/477411/35 "2008-12-17T03:20:45Z")
I’ve found Europeans have an exaggerated sense of their command of irony, myself.
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