# Wow, the funeral business is a huge scam **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 9, 2022, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-the-funeral-business-is-a-huge-scam/959154 "2022-02-09T13:45:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2022, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-the-funeral-business-is-a-huge-scam/959154/101 "2022-02-11T05:17:42Z")
This YouTuber says that, at least in Michigan, the decedent must be in a box, and they do sell heavy-duty cardboard boxes for this purpose for about $75. They do not need to be dressed in any particular way. > **[Kari the Mortician](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCzMidCxMjmFPwwKulMxLzhA)** > > I have been a licensed funeral director for 20 years and have worked in the funeral business for 27 years. It is truly a passion for me. In my 20 years, I have freelanced at multiple locations and have been the on-site director at three funeral... TL - DW - about “Embalming Conjoined Twins” - that was a Zoom presentation with several morticians, and none of them had ever done it, or knew of anyone who did. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2022, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-the-funeral-business-is-a-huge-scam/959154/102 "2022-02-11T05:24:19Z")
I suspect vaults are used to keep the ground level over the years to come. My paternal grandmother prepaid her funeral in the early 1990s, and then there were a lot of news reports about these being fraudulent. My dad took the paperwork to an attorney, who told him that everything was legitimate, and when Grandma died in 2007, everything was taken care of except that she lived in t-shirts and sweatshirts for her last few years and didn’t have a “nice” blouse for the viewing, so my mother went to Walmart and found this shirt in what looked like her size with a ruffle on it, and that’s what she was buried in. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2022, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-the-funeral-business-is-a-huge-scam/959154/103 "2022-02-11T05:32:59Z")
This is a great commercial. [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/oPtkSrjesKA/hqdefault.jpg "James Marshall «Jimi» Hendrix") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oPtkSrjesKA) ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2022, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-the-funeral-business-is-a-huge-scam/959154/104 "2022-02-11T06:22:18Z")
Have you heard the story of the invention of the automatic phone exchange? Almon Brown Strowger was a funeral parlour owner who is said to have suspected that the switchboard operator in his town directed all calls away from him and re-directed them to the only other funeral parlour in town - because the owner was her husband. So he invented the automatic phone exchange to not only solve his problem but to permanently put all switchboard operators out of a job. Revenge is sweet. Of course that last part isn’t really true since I suspect that by the time switchboard operators were entirely phased out, Almon Strowger and his business had long moved on. But anyway, cute story. ---
**Author:** ![Folacin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/folacin/32/3195_2.png) [@Folacin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Folacin)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2022, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-the-funeral-business-is-a-huge-scam/959154/105 "2022-02-11T13:10:12Z")
> [@Pleonast](#): > > I, for one, intend to outlive the bastard. Me too, but there is something to be said for contingency plans. ---
**Author:** ![carrps](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carrps/32/2957_2.png) [@carrps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carrps)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2022, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-the-funeral-business-is-a-huge-scam/959154/106 "2022-02-11T18:03:41Z")
Yes! Great ad. ---
**Author:** ![Bootb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19b73/32.png) [@Bootb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bootb)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2022, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-the-funeral-business-is-a-huge-scam/959154/107 "2022-02-12T16:07:53Z")
> [@Llama\_Llogophile](#): > > I still don’t understand what this vault thing is about. It keeps water out so the body doesn’t decompose as quickly or as much? Why are we burying people if we don’t expect the bodies to decompose? It’s not like we’re going to dig her up and check. Hard for me to see it as anything other than added cost, very thinly veiled. You would be surprised at the number of people who have a strong negative reaction at the very thought of a loved one’s body decaying. Mortuaries make a lot of their money from the hands of people who WANT the body to be preserved. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2022, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-the-funeral-business-is-a-huge-scam/959154/108 "2022-02-12T18:20:07Z")
> [@Bootb](#): > > Mortuaries make a lot of their money from the hands of people who WANT the body to be preserved. And they make that money by lying. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2022, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-the-funeral-business-is-a-huge-scam/959154/109 "2022-02-12T18:27:33Z")
> [@Bootb](#): > > You would be surprised at the number of people who have a strong negative reaction at the very thought of a loved one’s body decaying I actually have an irrational discomfort with the idea of decaying after death. Cremation doesn’t bother me at all. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2022, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-the-funeral-business-is-a-huge-scam/959154/110 "2022-02-12T18:33:14Z")
> [@Procrustus](#): > > I actually have an irrational discomfort with the idea of decaying after death. Decaying _before_ death is bad enough, thank you. ---
**Author:** ![smithsb](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smithsb/32/12107_2.png) [@smithsb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smithsb)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2022, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-the-funeral-business-is-a-huge-scam/959154/111 "2022-02-12T20:15:40Z")
> [@Procrustus](#): > > I actually have an irrational discomfort with the idea of decaying after death. Cremation doesn’t bother me at all. I will be cremated in the handbasket I use for my celebrity death pool research storage. To get used to the heat. Dip your toes, lower legs, torso, etc… in gradually. You do go feet first, don’t you? ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2022, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-the-funeral-business-is-a-huge-scam/959154/112 "2022-02-12T21:04:34Z")
> [@Procrustus](#): > > I actually have an irrational discomfort with the idea of decaying after death. Cremation doesn’t bother me My friend Sharon is afraid of being burned postmortem, so cremation is out. She’s freaked out by bugs, so no burial. She seriously wants her husband to empty their chest freezer and put her in it, then have candles and pictures of her on the freezer. ---
**Author:** ![mjmartin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3d9bf3/32.png) [@mjmartin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mjmartin)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2022, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-the-funeral-business-is-a-huge-scam/959154/113 "2022-02-12T23:16:01Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > My friend Sharon is afraid of being burned postmortem, so cremation is out. She’s freaked out by bugs, so no burial. The Zoroastrian faith has the perfect solution for her: > **[Tower of Silence](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tower_of_Silence)** > > A dakhma (Persian: دخمه), also known as a Tower of Silence, is a circular, raised structure built by Zoroastrians for excarnation (that is, the exposure of human corpses to the elements for decomposition), in order to avoid contamination of the soil and other natural elements by the decomposing dead bodies. Carrion birds, usually vultures and other scavengers, consume the flesh. Skeletal remains are gathered into a central pit where further weathering and continued breakdown occurs.\[2 Zoroastrian... ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2022, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-the-funeral-business-is-a-huge-scam/959154/114 "2022-02-13T02:46:28Z")
Would the modern version of that be leaving the corpse on the roof of a Manhattan skyscraper and waiting for the pigeons to take care of things? ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2022, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-the-funeral-business-is-a-huge-scam/959154/115 "2022-02-13T02:47:20Z")
Thank you. I forwarded it to her and she responded immediately “Fuck You”. About a half hour later she sent me a long text updating me on her and her family’s recent stuff. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2022, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-the-funeral-business-is-a-huge-scam/959154/116 "2022-02-13T03:09:30Z")
He should assure her he’s going to do that, then have her cremated. Will make no difference to her. ---
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2022, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-the-funeral-business-is-a-huge-scam/959154/117 "2022-02-13T03:14:00Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > I forwarded it to her and she responded immediately “Fuck You”. Ouch! IMO if people want to spend money on a funeral, it’s pretty much ok. Pay off the creditors etc. but if it brings solace to the survivors, ok. That said, I’d be asking the funeral director if he had any coffins in “saran wrap” for me. We’re going back to the earth, the water table, etc. Let it go. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2022, 10:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-the-funeral-business-is-a-huge-scam/959154/118 "2022-02-13T10:01:02Z")
> [@lobotomyboy63](#): > > That said, I’d be asking the funeral director if he had any coffins in “saran wrap” for me. We’re going back to the earth, the water table, etc. Let it go. Last week, my fiancée and I attended a seminar intended to get us to buy an all-inclusive cremation package. I asked if they had a Soylent Green option. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2022, 11:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-the-funeral-business-is-a-huge-scam/959154/119 "2022-02-13T11:13:43Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > > [@Procrustus](#): > > > > I actually have an irrational discomfort with the idea of decaying after death. Cremation doesn’t bother me > > My friend Sharon is afraid of being burned postmortem, so cremation is out. She’s freaked out by bugs, so no burial. She seriously wants her husband to empty their chest freezer and put her in it, then have candles and pictures of her on the freezer. Here’s an alternative to both burial-and-bugs and cremation-and-fire: > **[What is aquamation? The 'green' alternative to cremation chosen by Desmond Tutu](https://inews.co.uk/news/what-is-aquamation-green-alternative-cremation-chosen-desmond-tutu-uk-rules-explained-1379423)** > > Aquamation is considered to be a more energy efficient than traditional cremation but is not currently available in the UK ---
**Author:** ![mjmartin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3d9bf3/32.png) [@mjmartin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mjmartin)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2022, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-the-funeral-business-is-a-huge-scam/959154/120 "2022-02-13T12:31:24Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > I forwarded it to her and she responded immediately “Fuck You”. My ideas often get that response. > [@Dewey\_Finn](#): > > Would the modern version of that be leaving the corpse on the roof of a Manhattan skyscraper and waiting for the pigeons In Manhattan? It would definitely be the rats taking care of things. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-the-funeral-business-is-a-huge-scam/959154.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-the-funeral-business-is-a-huge-scam/959154.md?page=7)