# Wow they really can't act! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 19, 2007, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551 "2007-12-19T04:19:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Kuboydal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecb155/32.png) [@Kuboydal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kuboydal)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/21 "2007-12-19T13:44:52Z")
[QUOTE=Baldwin] Lindsay Lohan was really good in A Prarie Home Companion\*. Unfortunately, her actual talents are overshadowed by her disastrous personal life. [/QUOTE] Her disastrous personal life is the only entertaining thing about her. ---
**Author:** ![Arch\_Trout](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9f8e36/32.png) [@Arch\_Trout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arch_Trout)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/22 "2007-12-19T13:51:58Z")
[QUOTE=Baldwin] . Keanu Reeves nailed his part in _Devil’s Advocate_. Maybe it takes the right part and the right director to break him out of his usual persona. [/QUOTE] Not sure I agree with that. The bit in the movie where he finds his wife is dead and starts crying was so badly acted that myself and most of the theater burst out laughing at his attempts to portray grief. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/23 "2007-12-19T15:20:55Z")
[QUOTE=Freudian Slit] Yep, that’s who I came in here to post about. His Shakesperean acting is so close to the Critic episode that spoofed it that it’s not funny. [/QUOTE] Hath not a dude eyes? If you prick us, do we not get bummed? If you poison us, do we not blow chunks? ---
**Author:** ![ShelliBean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f9ae1b/32.png) [@ShelliBean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShelliBean)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/24 "2007-12-19T15:33:57Z")
I hate Kevin Costner and the horse he rode in on. I will actively avoid movies if he is attached to them by starring in them. I will avoid movies made in locations that he may or may not have ever sullied by his presence. I will not read Robin Hood to my kids because he once starred in a movie on the same theme. I will not visit the beach because he was in that Coast Guard movie. I will not get the mail out of my mailbox because his aura may linger via the Postman. I will not support the troops because he once played a Vietnam vet. I will not breathe air because it may be somehow recycled from his foul lungs. He’s really cramping my style here. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/25 "2007-12-19T15:35:42Z")
Zooey Duch. . . something or other in Tin Man. Good Gravy, that was some terrible, terrible acting. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/26 "2007-12-19T15:53:45Z")
Actually Kevin Costner redeemed himself in _Mr. Brooks_, he was seriously creepy and I forgot he was Kevin Costner. It’s too bad Demi Moore had to ruin it by not bothering to act. ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/27 "2007-12-19T16:50:39Z")
[QUOTE=Wile E] Actually Kevin Costner redeemed himself in _Mr. Brooks_, he was seriously creepy and I forgot he was Kevin Costner. It’s too bad Demi Moore had to ruin it by not bothering to act. [/QUOTE] I agree with both of these sentiments. I’ll ad Ryan Philippe to the list of people that can’t act their way out of a paper sack. Seriously. The dude can’t play anything. ---
**Author:** ![Mosier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ea924/32.png) [@Mosier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mosier)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/28 "2007-12-19T16:55:43Z")
Robert Deniro and Jack Nicholson are typically awful. There are some exceptions for Jack, but Deniro is just a pile of stink. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/29 "2007-12-19T16:56:48Z")
Orlando Bloom, who hadn’t exactly shown tons of personality in the _Lord of the Rings_ and _Pirates of the Caribbean_ movies, demonstrated all the range and depth of a cardboard standee in _Troy_. ---
**Author:** ![Equipoise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/equipoise/32/151_2.png) [@Equipoise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Equipoise)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/30 "2007-12-19T17:13:07Z")
[QUOTE=Mosier] Robert Deniro and Jack Nicholson are typically awful. There are some exceptions for Jack, but Deniro is just a pile of stink. [/QUOTE] I hope I’m being wooshed. ---
**Author:** ![Equipoise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/equipoise/32/151_2.png) [@Equipoise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Equipoise)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/31 "2007-12-19T17:19:44Z")
[QUOTE=WOOKINPANUB] I’ll ad Ryan Philippe to the list of people that can’t act their way out of a paper sack. Seriously. The dude can’t play anything. [/QUOTE] Did you see **Breach**? He held his own against Chris Cooper and Laura Linney, as a green FBI agent called upon to spy upon a spy. He doesn’t have a wide range, but like many of these actors mentioned (Costner in **Mr. Brooks** , Keanu in **The Gift** , Lindsey Lohan in **A Prarie Home Companion** ), can do a good job in the right circumstances. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/32 "2007-12-19T17:28:24Z")
[QUOTE=Baldwin] Keanu Reeves nailed his part in _Devil’s Advocate_. Maybe it takes the right part and the right director to break him out of his usual persona. [/QUOTE] Exactly. Reeves was very good in **Tune in Tomorrow, Leaving Minnesota, I Love You to Death** and **Little Buddha** and not that bad in **Speed**. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/33 "2007-12-19T17:34:24Z")
Michael J. Fox has spent his whole career playing Alex Keaton: Alex Keaton travels through time, Alex Keaton goes to Vietnam, Alex Keaton gets a job with the _New Yorker_ and does lots of drugs, Alex Keaton runs the NYC mayor’s office . . . Doesn’t mean he’s a **bad** actor, just an actor of limited range. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/34 "2007-12-19T17:37:31Z")
[QUOTE=Biggirl] Zooey Duch. . . something or other in Tin Man. Good Gravy, that was some terrible, terrible acting. [/QUOTE] Them’s fightin’ words! Zooey Deschanel was in _The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy_, comes from a very talented family, and is wicked cute. Retract your slander, you blackguard, or it’s pistols at dawn. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/35 "2007-12-19T17:38:26Z")
I don’t get all the hate for Costner. I thought he was fine in _Bull Durham_ and _Tin Cup_. He’s not good at epic drama, and he went through a phase where he took himself way too seriously, but he’s not terrible. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/36 "2007-12-19T17:43:31Z")
[QUOTE=Larry Borgia] I don’t get all the hate for Costner. I thought he was fine in _Bull Durham_ and _Tin Cup_. He’s not good at epic drama, and he went through a phase where he took himself way too seriously, but he’s not terrible. [/QUOTE] Same here. I also just watched the Guardian, and thought he was adequate, if not better than adequate. I was also impressed by Ashton Kusher’s performance. ---
**Author:** ![Charlie\_Tan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/charlie_tan/32/12582_2.png) [@Charlie\_Tan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charlie_Tan)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/37 "2007-12-19T17:46:37Z")
Harrison Ford. ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/38 "2007-12-19T17:46:46Z")
[QUOTE=Equipoise] Did you see **Breach**? He held his own against Chris Cooper and Laura Linney, as a green FBI agent called upon to spy upon a spy. He doesn’t have a wide range, but like many of these actors mentioned (Costner in **Mr. Brooks** , Keanu in **The Gift** , Lindsey Lohan in **A Prarie Home Companion** ), can do a good job in the right circumstances. [/QUOTE] I didn’t see Breach specifically because I didn’t think I could buy him in the role. Perhaps that’s unfair, but subjectivity is unfair by definition. Anyway, I don’t want to further hijack. For some (many, obviously), the pinnacle of no talent is Mssrs. Reeves and Costner. For me, 'tis Mr. Philippe. It’s all good. Or bad, as the case may be. ---
**Author:** ![want2know](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/50afbb/32.png) [@want2know](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/want2know)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/39 "2007-12-19T17:48:19Z")
After seeing Coppola’s version of **Dracula** , my friend and I came up with this exchange between Gary Oldman and Keanu Reeves: Dracula: You will be imprisoned with my beautiful wives… Harker: EXCELLENT! Dracula: And every night, they will rise up and drink your blood. Harker: BOGUS! Regarding Costner: While I agree that he is definitely substandard in the acting department, I truly enjoyed his performance in **Bull Durham**. Not previously mentioned: **Patrick Swayze** : As much as I really liked _Roadhouse_, if only for sheer mindless entertainment value, Swayze absolutely belongs on this list. The closest he ever got to acting was his surprisingly credible performance in _Too Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything, Julie Newmar_ . But even a stopped clock is right twice a day, as they say. **Sandra Bullock** : Combined with the aforementioned Reeves, the main reason I rooted for **Dennis Hopper** in _Speed_ ! PEEE-YEW!!! **Val Kilmer** : Apart from _Top Gun_ , one stinkeroo, wooden performance after another. Forever remembered by me as the only person who could make a ZAZ comedy boring! **Christopher Reeve** : Ran the gamut of emotion from A to A. Classic Division: Granted, IMHO, acting wasn’t as important during the so-called “Golden Age” as it became in recent years, but some of the “legends” deserve recognition as well: **Elizabeth Taylor** **Joan Crawford** **Rock Hudson** **Doris Day** Feel free to add to the list. [QUOTE=Mosier] Robert Deniro and Jack Nicholson are typically awful. There are some exceptions for Jack, but Deniro is just a pile of stink. [/QUOTE] Early in his career, I too was completely unimpressed with DeNiro. It wasn’t until I saw **The King of Comedy** that I began to respect his talent. Funny thing is, I felt the same way about **Jerry Lewis** until I saw that movie. ---
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/40 "2007-12-19T17:49:37Z")
It says a lot that you can find Dolph Lundgren’s entire collection in the $5 bin at Walmart. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551.md?page=3)