# Wow they really can't act! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 19, 2007, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551 "2007-12-19T04:19:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/41 "2007-12-19T17:54:48Z")
[QUOTE=Robot Arm] Them’s fightin’ words! Zooey Deschanel was in _The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy_, comes from a very talented family, and is wicked cute. Retract your slander, you blackguard, or it’s pistols at dawn. [/QUOTE] Sorry, but I really hated her performance in Hitchhikers Guide. Watching her in Tin Man didn’t raise my estimation of her at all either. I’ll give you cute and perhaps she’s from a talented family (I admit to knowing nothing about her family) but I have yet to see anything in the way of good acting chops from her. ---
**Author:** ![Wee\_Bairn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/90db22/32.png) [@Wee\_Bairn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wee_Bairn)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/42 "2007-12-19T17:56:31Z")
[QUOTE=Baldwin] All these people can act, given the right circumstances. Maybe we should be talking about Rebecca Pidgeon. [/QUOTE] Agreed- why is it that her husband is the only director who recognizes her amazing acting ability 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Moriarty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moriarty/32/49_2.png) [@Moriarty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moriarty)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/43 "2007-12-19T18:01:30Z")
[QUOTE=want2know] **Val Kilmer** : Apart from _Top Gun_ , one stinkeroo, wooden performance after another. Forever remembered by me as the only person who could make a ZAZ comedy boring! [/QUOTE] I thought he deserved an Oscar for _The Doors_; in the performance scenes, he’s actually singing Door’s songs! And I thought he was hilarious in that comedy spy movie, _Top Secret_. ---
**Author:** ![jali](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecae2f/32.png) [@jali](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jali)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/44 "2007-12-19T18:02:02Z")
[QUOTE=want2know] **Val Kilmer** : Apart from _Top Gun_ , one stinkeroo, wooden performance after another. Forever remembered by me as the only person who could make a ZAZ comedy boring! [/QUOTE] **Val Kilmer** MADE _Tombstone._ I’ll be your huckleberry! ---
**Author:** ![Superfluous\_Parentheses](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8edcca/32.png) [@Superfluous\_Parentheses](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superfluous_Parentheses)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/45 "2007-12-19T18:06:28Z")
[QUOTE=Wee Bairn] Agreed- why is it that her husband is the only director who recognizes her amazing acting ability 🙂 [/QUOTE] Oh if we’re going there: Bo Derek (Tarzan the Ape Man, anyone?). Also: Pia Zadora ---
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/46 "2007-12-19T18:10:33Z")
Thirded on the Rebecca Pidgeon bandwagon. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/47 "2007-12-19T18:12:40Z")
Christopher Lambert. His every performance is an enormous, steaming, mound of suck. ---
**Author:** ![Mahna\_Mahna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e47c2d/32.png) [@Mahna\_Mahna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahna_Mahna)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/48 "2007-12-19T18:26:58Z")
Kate Bosworth. Between her and that Christopher Reeves lookalike, the last Superman movie is best described as two cardboard cutouts trying to act their way out of a paper bag. Yawn. I spent the entire movie rooting for the villains. Even though they clearly were in it just for the paycheque, at least Kevin Spacey and Parker Posey were watchable. ---
**Author:** ![Equipoise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/equipoise/32/151_2.png) [@Equipoise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Equipoise)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/49 "2007-12-19T18:32:22Z")
[QUOTE=jali] **Val Kilmer** MADE _Tombstone._ [/QUOTE] And **Real Genius**. And **Spartan**. And **Top Secret**. And **The Doors**. And **Kiss Kiss Bang Bang** (along with Robert Downey Jr.) ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/50 "2007-12-19T18:32:43Z")
[QUOTE=Sitnam] It says a lot that you can find Dolph Lundgren’s entire collection in the $5 bin at Walmart. [/QUOTE] Action movie stars could fill half this thread. **Chuck Norris** ; It’s no coincidence that one of Conan O’Brien’s funniest bits is [The Walker, Texas Ranger Lever](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q3e6ZGhHWHI) **Steven Seagall** ; No matter how many kimonos he wears, I just don’t buy him as a martial arts baddass. When I have to watch his movies, I even think the character he’s playing would be better off delivering pizzas. And of course, let’s give it up for **Jean Claude Van Dam** : Acting philosophy: There isn’t a scene written that won’t be improved by performing a split. I’m Belgian and I’m flexible! ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/51 "2007-12-19T18:36:55Z")
[QUOTE=Marley23] Orlando Bloom, who hadn’t exactly shown tons of personality in the _Lord of the Rings_ and _Pirates of the Caribbean_ movies, demonstrated all the range and depth of a cardboard standee in _Troy_. [/QUOTE] I love watching Orlando Bloom act. He really is the next Keanu Reeves. Orlando’s great talent is showing exactly what is going on in his - the actor’s mind - as he acts. “The director said I should look confused…then sad…” All written across his face. It IS a pretty face. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_Draper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Don\_Draper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_Draper)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/52 "2007-12-19T19:59:08Z")
**Sofia Coppola** in **the Godfather III**. If Wynonna Ryder had played Coppola’s part (as had originally been planned) , the third film for this trilogy would likely have been an okay film; not brilliant like the first two, but not _Return of the Jedi_ bad either. But Sofia brings every single scene she appears in to a screeching, awkward, catastrophic halt. ---
**Author:** ![Kuboydal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecb155/32.png) [@Kuboydal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kuboydal)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/53 "2007-12-19T20:15:34Z")
[QUOTE=The New and Improved Superman] **Sofia Coppola** in **the Godfather III**. If Wynonna Ryder had played Coppola’s part (as had originally been planned) , the third film for this trilogy would likely have been an okay film; not brilliant like the first two, but not _Return of the Jedi_ bad either. But Sofia brings every single scene she appears in to a screeching, awkward, catastrophic halt. [/QUOTE] I thought she was in there for comic relief. ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/54 "2007-12-19T20:45:01Z")
[QUOTE=Robot Arm] Them’s fightin’ words! Zooey Deschanel was in _The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy_, comes from a very talented family, and is wicked cute. Retract your slander, you blackguard, or it’s pistols at dawn. [/QUOTE] And I’ll be **Robot Arm’s** second. I don’t think **Conan the Destroyer** had a _single_ real actor in it: Arnie, 'nuff said (tho since he’s expanded his range a bit). Wilt the Stilt, former hoops great Grace Slick One of the D’Abo sisters (forget which), neither of which could act and both of whom dropped out of movie acting the instant they stopped being cute That Chinese guy The comic-relief thief guy Not a single acting gene to be found between them. ---
**Author:** ![Superfluous\_Parentheses](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8edcca/32.png) [@Superfluous\_Parentheses](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superfluous_Parentheses)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/55 "2007-12-19T20:51:07Z")
[QUOTE=John DiFool] I don’t think **Conan the Destroyer** had a _single_ real actor in it: Arnie, 'nuff said (tho since he’s expanded his range a bit). Wilt the Stilt, former hoops great Grace Slick One of the D’Abo sisters (forget which), neither of which could act and both of whom dropped out of movie acting the instant they stopped being cute That Chinese guy The comic-relief thief guy Not a single acting gene to be found between them. [/QUOTE] Are you sure you’re not confused with Red Sonja? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![anu-la1979](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/47e85d/32.png) [@anu-la1979](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anu-la1979)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/56 "2007-12-19T21:11:04Z")
Drew Barrymore. She seems like a genuinely nice person from interviews, she’s good looking in a quirky way (that I appreciate myself) and she has long had a lovely figure and whatnot…but she cannot act. It is to the point where I refuse to see movies that she’s in. ---
**Author:** ![DudleyGarrett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d9b06d/32.png) [@DudleyGarrett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DudleyGarrett)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/57 "2007-12-19T21:27:41Z")
[QUOTE=anu-la1979] Drew Barrymore. She seems like a genuinely nice person from interviews, she’s good looking in a quirky way (that I appreciate myself) and she has long had a lovely figure and whatnot…but she cannot act. It is to the point where I refuse to see movies that she’s in. [/QUOTE] That’s like sooooooooo magiCAL! ---
**Author:** ![anu-la1979](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/47e85d/32.png) [@anu-la1979](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anu-la1979)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/58 "2007-12-19T21:43:53Z")
I don’t get what movie you’re referring to. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/59 "2007-12-19T21:51:48Z")
You’re all missing the obviousnessity of the true intent of the OP to place **Melanie Griffith** in everyone’s subconscious mind. Remember the old game of morphing one word into another in so many steps? Well, it works like magic here: Lindsey Lohan===\>Mindsey Mohan===\>fucking no talent hag===\>Melanie Griffith See? And her mother was Tippi Hedren, so we know where all the talent came from. ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2007, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/60 "2007-12-19T21:52:34Z")
[QUOTE=John DiFool] Grace Slick [/QUOTE] The Jefferson Airplane singer was in a Conan movie? Or did you mean Grace Jones. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551.md?page=4)