# Wow they really can't act! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 19, 2007, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551 "2007-12-19T04:19:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Spoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@Spoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoke)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2007, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/101 "2007-12-20T22:11:05Z")
I’m gonna go with **Kirsten Dunst** , another of those actors who can only play themselves. ETA: I see **Sitnam** beat me to that one. ---
**Author:** ![Reloy3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c68b51/32.png) [@Reloy3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reloy3)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2007, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/102 "2007-12-20T22:33:38Z")
[QUOTE=John DiFool] I don’t think **Conan the Destroyer** had a _single_ real actor in it: Arnie, 'nuff said (tho since he’s expanded his range a bit). Wilt the Stilt, former hoops great Grace Slick One of the D’Abo sisters (forget which), neither of which could act and both of whom dropped out of movie acting the instant they stopped being cute That Chinese guy The comic-relief thief guy Not a single acting gene to be found between them. [/QUOTE] While I mostly agree with you on The Film that Destroyed Conan, the “Comic Relief thief guy” is the wonderful Tracey Walter - a wonderful comic actor I’ve loved since the 80’s. Don’t hate him because of one crappy role which Olivier and Branaugh’s love child couldn’t save. See his IMDB [here.](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0910145/) Kevin Costner is normally awful, but he was fun as the hyperactive gunslinger inSilverado. ---
**Author:** ![Equipoise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/equipoise/32/151_2.png) [@Equipoise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Equipoise)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2007, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/103 "2007-12-20T22:47:47Z")
[QUOTE=Swallowed My Cellphone] Actually, they saw it as part of a special VIP-only series for die hard art house film goers. Typically they see non-Hollywood fare, foreign films, and rare documentaries that are limited release only or festival films that are not yet available for general release. Each screening is usually followed by lecture or an opportunity to meet some of the filmmakers. Sorry, but that particular audience was quite specifically geared for “serious, internal, subtle drama” and it failed on all counts. Each film has a feedback form and based on all the negative feedback, organization that runs the series apologized the following and reassured that is was screened in lieu of the scheduled film for which the print was unavailable at the last minute. (The movie titles are not announced prior to the screening). [/QUOTE] Sounds like the Talk series. It’s hard for me to understand how such a serious audience were so harsh on the movie. It’s right up their alley, even if on the mainstream side as opposed to the esoteric side. The movie was critically acclaimed, [84% at Rotten Tomatoes](http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/breach/), which is higher than several other acclaimed films, such as Atonement (84%), Into The Wild (82%), I’m Not There (80%), Lars and the Real Girl (78%), Lust, Caution (64%), and Starting Out in the Evening (82%), just to name a few. Not that Rotten Tomatoes is the be-all and end-all of determining if a movie is good or not. I disagree with the scores of several movies myself. It’s just that when that many critics like a film, there’s gonna be _SOMETHING_ worthy about it, so I just don’t get why this particular audience had such a negative reaction. What in the world is there to hate so much about it? It’s not like it was **Rush Hour 3**. Are we actually really thinking of the same movie? The **Breach** that I mentioned is a psychological drama based on a true story of FBI agent Robert Hanssen (Chris Cooper), the biggest spy of modern times. The Powers That Be (one of whom is Laura Linney) suspect him and want to catch him in the act. They know that Hanssen is paranoid and wary and has sniffed out spy-catchers in the past, so they figure the only way to get to him is to send in a green, straight-out-of-the-Academy cadet (Phillipe, or however you spell his name), who befriends Hanssen and ultimately brings him down. By the accounts I read, it was very faithful to the actual events, Chris Cooper turned in a well-respected performance and Ryan whats-his-name was very good walking a fine line between seeming clueless and the stress of knowing that catching this guy in the act is on his head. It may not be someone’s cup of tea, but “sucked”? Hating it so much you want your money back? I’m sorry, but that’s just weird, and I’m perplexed. ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2007, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/104 "2007-12-20T23:04:43Z")
[QUOTE=well he’s back] nice response, SwallowedMYCellphone - better than mine upthread at #86 [/QUOTE] The thing is, it’s easy to say “I don’t give a shit about a friend of a friend’s opinion” Presumably, because that opinion has no credibility. Actually, that is quite fair. But this is also an anonymous internet message board. What kind of crediibility do any of our opinion’s have? I could be a PhD who teaches film theory at a post-graduate level, or a can be a ninth greater who thinks mankinds’s greatest artistic achievement was Erkel. This is also a forum that can have a pretty diverse group, so opinions will vary greatly. My fiancee didn’t like _Breach_, largely because it had the potential to be so much better and because Phillppe couldn’t hold his own. But you don’t _have to_ give a shit about her opinion, but you don’t ahve to give a shit about mine neither. The context in which she saw it, if you want to know if her opinion is worth shit or not: a screening series put on by one of the major film festivals. What’s that series usually like? Well, for example, they screened a documentary about Iranian exiles fleeing their country, and when the lights came up - Surprise! - there were some of the actual family members shown in the movie, and film makers for the audience to ask questions. The series is geared to very discriminating film tastes. And _Breach_ was very poorly received. It was also unfortunately sandwiched between _The Road_, about a bus driver, that takes place during China’s Culural Revolution (and the audience got to meet a guy who was a bus driver during that time frame near the region where the film was set) and the aforementioned Irnanian exile documentary. Audience members pay a significant amount of money for this program, and no one was happy about _Breach_. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2007, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/105 "2007-12-21T01:59:53Z")
So, Val Kilmer was great in Tombstone, Thunderheart, Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang, Real Genius, Top Gun, Spartan and several other films, but _other than that_ what has he ever been good in? ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2007, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/106 "2007-12-21T04:42:25Z")
[QUOTE=Robot Arm] Them’s fightin’ words! Zooey Deschanel was in _The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy_, comes from a very talented family, and is wicked cute. [/QUOTE] But she really can’t act. She’s the Sarcastic Smart Girl in every role, and she’s not very good at it. It’s an appealing image, but being cute isn’t the same as acting, and her character in “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” was completely indistinguishable from any of her other roles. Nice girl, talented family, and she IS cute, but she’s not a good actor. She is far from being the worst actor around though. The worst actor of moderntimes to appear in a significant number of professional Hollywood or network productions, in significant roles, not counting athletes, is [Rebecca Pidgeon.](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0682071/) Nobody else named in this thread is even in the same area code of awfulness. Keanu Reeves is Kevin Spacey by comparison. She’s actually worse than Madonna, and that’s saying something, because Madonna is such a bad actor it hurts my feelings. The only really famous actor I’d put up against her is Wentworth Miller, who of course is the star of “Prison Break.” Miller is an actor of comical ineptitude; again, if you standard is someone like Keanu Reeves, Miller clearly dives below that standard. Ben Affleck is Thespis himself; Kevin Costner is on par with Jimmy Stewart, when compared to Wentworth Miller. The poor guy has, basically, one facial expression; for awhile I thought he had some sort of nerve damage, like Sly Stallone or Jean Chretien. His acting essentially involves looking and talking intense, but it always strikes me as being the acting of a man who’s just really, really determined not to forget his line on this take because he desperately needs to run off the set to take a shit. However, I’d still rank him above Pidgeon. ---
**Author:** ![diggleblop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac91a4/32.png) [@diggleblop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/diggleblop)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2007, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/107 "2007-12-21T04:45:30Z")
[Hayden Christensen](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0159789) is the epitome of bad acting. Totally ruined the two Star Wars movies he was miscas…I mean…cast in. ---
**Author:** ![petew83](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@petew83](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/petew83)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2007, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/108 "2007-12-21T05:24:12Z")
Did Lucas ENCOURAGE bad acting in his prequels to make the puppets look believable? Christensen and Portman were out-acted by Yoda and Chewbacca, respectively ---
**Author:** ![myskepticsight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cc9497/32.png) [@myskepticsight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/myskepticsight)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2007, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/109 "2007-12-21T05:45:04Z")
Josh Hartnett and Paul Walker are kinda hot dudes, but ugh so horrible. Luckily they make mostly stupid movies anyway that I have no desire to see, but being friends with who I am, I’ve seen enough of these guys. If they would just stand there and not talk… ---
**Author:** ![fuffle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@fuffle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fuffle)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2007, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/110 "2007-12-21T06:09:44Z")
I think Hayden Christensen is underrated in the Star Wars movies. But I know I’m very much in the minority on that one. But Hayden can _act_, man. He tore it up in **Shattered Glass**. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2007, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/111 "2007-12-21T06:49:49Z")
[QUOTE=commasense] How could this thread possibly get to 70+ posts with no mention of Ben Affleck? What a crappy actor. He was in a completely forgettable film called [_Bounce_](http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0186894/) opposite Gwyneth Paltrow that might have been decent if there hadn’t been this Grand Canyon-sized chasm in acting ability between the two leads. As long as she was talking, you believed the story. As soon as he opened his mouth, the whole scene fell flat. [/QUOTE] I’ve always thought Gwyneth Paltrow had a limited range as the hesitant, fragile type. In _Shakespeare in Love_, when she disguised herself so she could be an actor, the dominant emotion was “I hope I don’t get caught.” In _Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow_, in a role that just screamed for the brash, confident, fast-talking, Rosalind Russel type of broad, she was all worried and timid and it killed the movie. ---
**Author:** ![TripleTee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ac8455/32.png) [@TripleTee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TripleTee)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2007, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/112 "2007-12-21T07:21:25Z")
I think Kevin Costner is a limited actor, but in certain roles he is excellent. He is fantastic as a cowboy. He was excellent in Wyatt Earp and Open Range, and pretty decent in Dancing With Wolves, historical inaccuracies aside. And I thought he was good in Tin Cup. But he has also sucked really bad in a number of movies including Waterworld and The Postman. Jessica Alba has no acting ability whatsoever. I can only surmise that she gets roles based on other intangibles. ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2007, 11:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/113 "2007-12-21T11:10:58Z")
Greer Garson. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2007, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/114 "2007-12-21T12:29:29Z")
[QUOTE=TripleTee] Jessica Alba has no acting ability whatsoever. I can only surmise that she gets roles based on other intangibles. [/QUOTE] Sure. She gets roles based on the fact that there are millions of fanboys who reflexively drool whenever her name is mentioned. ---
**Author:** ![Kuboydal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecb155/32.png) [@Kuboydal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kuboydal)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2007, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/115 "2007-12-21T16:01:57Z")
mmmmm, intangibles… ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2007, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/116 "2007-12-21T16:34:35Z")
[QUOTE=Chefguy] **Matthew Broderick** and **Sarah Jessica Parker** , starring in _Married Without Talent_. [/QUOTE] I came in to mention **Sarah Jessica Parker**. I know that Sex & the City ran for seventeen kajillion years (so it feels) so people obviously like watching her but I have never, ever seen her in a movie where I empathised or cared about her character one bit. She stinks up every scene she’s in. It eventually occured to me that it can’t be that many cases of poor direction or script or whatever – she’s just a really shitty actress. ---
**Author:** ![lisacurl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/41988e/32.png) [@lisacurl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lisacurl)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2007, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/117 "2007-12-21T17:08:40Z")
[QUOTE=Robot Arm] I’ve always thought Gwyneth Paltrow had a limited range as the hesitant, fragile type. In _Shakespeare in Love_, when she disguised herself so she could be an actor, the dominant emotion was “I hope I don’t get caught.” In _Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow_, in a role that just screamed for the brash, confident, fast-talking, Rosalind Russel type of broad, she was all worried and timid and it killed the movie. [/QUOTE] Paltrow was very good in _Sliding Doors_, before she started believing her own press. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2007, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/118 "2007-12-21T18:20:52Z")
I’ll have to see _Sliding Doors_; I’ve heard it’s good. The tragedy of _Sky Captain_ is that was a role that Paltrow’s mother, in her prime, could have knocked out of the park. And Sarah Jessica Parker was spot-on perfect as the ditzy valley girl, SanDeE[sup]\*[/sup] in _L.A. Story_, but, of course, that doesn’t mean she was acting. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2007, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/119 "2007-12-21T18:31:38Z")
[QUOTE=RickJay] But she really can’t act. She’s the Sarcastic Smart Girl in every role, and she’s not very good at it. It’s an appealing image, but being cute isn’t the same as acting, and her character in “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” was completely indistinguishable from any of her other roles. Nice girl, talented family, and she IS cute, but she’s not a good actor. [/QUOTE] Her sister is far a better actor. And prettier, if not as cute. But Zooey does Sarcastic Smart Girl really well so I don’t mind as long as the role doesn’t demand more. ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2007, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/120 "2007-12-21T18:49:30Z")
[QUOTE=longhair75] John Wayne was also pretty much John Wayne in all of his movies. The difference here is that John Wayne was entertaining while Kevin Costner Is…Kevin Costner. [/QUOTE] Another vote for (against?) John Wayne. I’ve never understood why so many people hold him in such high regard. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551.md?page=7)