# Wow they really can't act! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 19, 2007, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551 "2007-12-19T04:19:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![squeegee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/squeegee/32/14537_2.png) [@squeegee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/squeegee)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2007, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/121 "2007-12-21T18:51:09Z")
[QUOTE=John DiFool] That Chinese guy …Not a single acting gene to be found between them. [/QUOTE] “Chinese guy” was [Mako](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mako_%28actor%29), who can certainly act, although the work he secured tended to be about as interesting as the Chinese Guy role above. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2007, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/122 "2007-12-21T19:36:00Z")
[QUOTE=vivalostwages] Another vote for (against?) John Wayne. I’ve never understood why so many people hold him in such high regard. [/QUOTE] Methinks it’s because the stage influenced films so much. It took several years for Hollywood to actually move beyond the notion that films were just “bigger” plays, so they hired the typical stage actor to work in their films, men such as Errol Flynn or John Barrymore, then later folks such as Clark Gable and Richard Harris. All were fine actors, but because they came from a place where everything had to be exaggerated (accents, gestures, expressions) in order to reach an audience member twenty rows back, they all had this distinct feminine quality about them as well. John Wayne was a breath of fresh air from the stereotypical actor of the time. There were few actors who could pull off a Western in his time, because few of them looked like they could command a pony let alone a stallion. It wasn’t his acting that earned him his fame, it was his machismo. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2007, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/123 "2007-12-21T20:27:58Z")
As low as my opinion is of Melanie Griffith, it bottoms out with **Jennifer Tilly**. That stupid baby-doll voice, the vapid look, the brainless blatherings, and a body gone early to seed. Combine all that with the lack of even the faintest shred of acting talent and a giant mystery is born: what the fuck is she doing in the movie business? ---
**Author:** ![commasense](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/commasense/32/3017_2.png) [@commasense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/commasense)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2007, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/124 "2007-12-21T20:33:05Z")
[QUOTE=Chefguy] As low as my opinion is of Melanie Griffith, it bottoms out with **Jennifer Tilly**. That stupid baby-doll voice, the vapid look, the brainless blatherings, and a body gone early to seed. Combine all that with the lack of even the faintest shred of acting talent and a giant mystery is born: what the fuck is she doing in the movie business? [/QUOTE] She had nice tits when she started out… ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2007, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/125 "2007-12-21T20:46:39Z")
[QUOTE=commasense] She had nice tits when she started out… [/QUOTE] Yeah, but whenever she started talking I’d have a seizure and fall down flopping in the aisle, so I never saw them. ---
**Author:** ![Lust4Life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecc23a/32.png) [@Lust4Life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lust4Life)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2007, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/126 "2007-12-23T06:56:21Z")
Costner of course,his portrayal of an outlaw in the English Middle ages in Robin Hood with an American accent is notable for his apparent total lack of embarassment for doing so. Mel Gibson with his amusing "Scottish "accent in Brave Heart. But the absaloute winner,an oldie but an awfully…and I’ve forgotten his bloody name,the bloke who played Kojak in every fucking movie he was in whether he was a New York detective or a hard bitten Sgt.in WW2 or a SerboCroation,Buddhist serialkiller from the planet Tharg with his fucking cigar and his “Hey Baby”. I used to have to look around at the other characters in the film to remember which one I was watching. It must take an incredible strength of character to make a lifetime career in acting when you have no talent in that direction whatsoever and you still show your face in public. He makes Costner look GOOD! ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2007, 7:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/127 "2007-12-23T07:19:44Z")
**David Caruso** is the worst successful actor I have ever has the displeasure to see. He cannot act, he only plays himself and he is a bore. His style is reminiscent of a younger Shatner, but without the charm and humor. His range of emotions actually makes Keanu look deep. In “Hill Street Blues” he was a minor wooden actor, in “King of New York” he was a terrible actor, especially embarrassing to watch opposite Walken. In “Jade” he had his big break-out and was even more wooden and started showing his notorious mannerism. Finally in “NYPD Blue” he really proved how terrible he was as the star that was out acted by all the character actors, especially Dennis Franz. I managed to avoid him for a few years until the awful “Session 9”, where I thought he took lead acting to a new low. However, then came the ultimate horror, yes I speak of “CSI: Miami”, the Horatio Caine suckfest. “I act with my stupid sunglasses”. “I can be such an ass, that I make serial rapist sympathetic.” “I emote, not a _jote_.” Truly this man defines acting suckitude! Jim (Of course I knew acknowledge that he was actual decent and likable in “First Blood” as the one semi-intelligent deputy.) ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2007, 7:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/128 "2007-12-23T07:35:43Z")
[QUOTE=Evil Captor] So, Val Kilmer was great in Tombstone, Thunderheart, Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang, Real Genius, Top Gun, Spartan and several other films, but _other than that_ what has he ever been good in? [/QUOTE] The bleak but under-rated _Wonderland_? ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2007, 7:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/129 "2007-12-23T07:43:40Z")
[QUOTE=Lust4Life] Costner of course,his portrayal of an outlaw in the English Middle ages in Robin Hood with an American accent is notable for his apparent total lack of embarassment for doing so. Mel Gibson with his amusing "Scottish "accent in Brave Heart. But the absaloute winner,an oldie but an awfully…and I’ve forgotten his bloody name,the bloke who played Kojak in every fucking movie he was in whether he was a New York detective or a hard bitten Sgt.in WW2 or a SerboCroation,Buddhist serialkiller from the planet Tharg with his fucking cigar and his “Hey Baby”. I used to have to look around at the other characters in the film to remember which one I was watching. It must take an incredible strength of character to make a lifetime career in acting when you have no talent in that direction whatsoever and you still show your face in public. He makes Costner look GOOD! [/QUOTE] Telly Savalos? And I think it was “Who loves you baby?” ---
**Author:** ![EllisDee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellisdee/32/4531_2.png) [@EllisDee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EllisDee)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2007, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/130 "2007-12-23T07:55:51Z")
[QUOTE=RickJay] But she really can’t act. She’s the Sarcastic Smart Girl in every role, and she’s not very good at it. It’s an appealing image, but being cute isn’t the same as acting, and her character in “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” was completely indistinguishable from any of her other roles. Nice girl, talented family, and she IS cute, but she’s not a good actor. [/QUOTE] When I think of Zooey Deschanel characters, I don’t think “sarcastic smart girl.” I think “depressed, confused and despondent.” As such, I thought she was great in **Winter Passing** \* and **All the Real Girls** , both of which involved her in a lead role without a single sarcastic line. (And neither character was particularly bright.) \*This movie also marked Will Ferrell’s move from slapstick to dramatic roles. ---
**Author:** ![Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airman_Doors_USAF)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2007, 8:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/131 "2007-12-23T08:09:33Z")
[QUOTE=PunditLisa] I came here to nominate Melanie Griffith. Damn you, Chefguy!! I guess I’ll settle for Bill Paxton. I’ve always surmised Melanie Griffith was incredible on the casting couch. What’s Paxton’s got? [/QUOTE] Only two of the best lines in history: “Game over, man, Game over!” “How about a nice, greasy pork sandwich served in a dirty ashtray?” He was phenomenal in _Weird Science_, probably because it doesn’t take too much to play an asshole, and he was credible in _Apollo 13_. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2007, 8:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/132 "2007-12-23T08:22:47Z")
[QUOTE=Airman Doors, USAF] Only two of the best lines in history: “Game over, man, Game over!” “How about a nice, greasy pork sandwich served in a dirty ashtray?” He was phenomenal in _Weird Science_, probably because it doesn’t take too much to play an asshole, and he was credible in _Apollo 13_. [/QUOTE] I liked him in _Frailty_ which was also his directorial debut. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2007, 9:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/133 "2007-12-23T09:35:40Z")
Tom Cruise. He’s basically played the same character since _Risky Business_ and the “cocky teen” act doesn’t work once you get past 30. In M:I:III, the few moments he shared on screen with Hoffman were telling. Hoffman _was_ his character. Not once did I think that he was being PSH, or that his acting was somehow wrong for the role. The scene where Cruise dangles him from underneath the jet, and PSH is just as cold and calm as he could be, while Cruise is screaming and throwing temper tantrums. _Both_ characters should have been ice cold, with each one trying to get the other one to break. But Cruise apparently couldn’t (or wouldn’t) do that. ---
**Author:** ![supervenusfreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@supervenusfreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/supervenusfreak)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2007, 9:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/134 "2007-12-23T09:50:33Z")
Let’s just boil this all down to … _most of the pretty people cannot act!_ Oh yes and **Woody Allen** too. He can direct, but as an actor, oh my! ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Knig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@Typo\_Knig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Knig)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2007, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/135 "2007-12-24T03:52:35Z")
[QUOTE=Shamozzle] Denise Richards in “Tomorrow Never Dies Another Day Is Not Enough” All I have to say is, “Phew!! Who farted??” [/QUOTE] I have, on this very message board, defended her acting in that role. I saw that Bond movie on cable the other day, and all I can say is I’m sorry! What the **hell** was I thinking??OK, I know what I was thinking with - but still! Her acting was not so marvelous. OK, she was just a Bond Girl, but yeah, not great. ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2007, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/136 "2007-12-24T04:01:08Z")
That [Herve’ Villechaize](http://imdb.com/name/nm0898199/) really was a great actor in Spanish, although most of you would discount him based on Fantasy Island and your own conniptions. ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Cad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saint_cad/32/18907_2.png) [@Saint\_Cad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Cad)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2007, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/137 "2007-12-24T04:09:41Z")
[QUOTE=The Chao Goes Mu] It took me a while to be able to admit it, because she’s so darn cute, but Ashley Judd just can’t act all that well. There, I said it. The shame! [/QUOTE] You actually watch her acting. I’m always occupied by other things on the screen. 😉 [QUOTE=diggleblop] Hayden Christensen is the epitome of bad acting. Totally ruined the two Star Wars movies he was miscas…I mean…cast in. [/QUOTE] Sadly he is not the worst Anakin. Jake Lloyd instead of Hayley Joel Osment? :smack: And the kid sucked in Jingle All The Way,so the casting director should have know that watching Jake on a screen is less enjoyable than having ground glass rubbed into your corneas. ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2007, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/138 "2007-12-24T04:14:23Z")
Reba sucks. That Woman is on par with Roseanne barre. They just can’t act because of their personalities, it doesn’t come across as homespun…just sad and no depth. ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2008, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/139 "2008-01-01T19:10:12Z")
[QUOTE=What Exit?] **David Caruso** is the worst successful actor I have ever has the displeasure to see. [/QUOTE] I came here to say that. I think any random person off the street can do a better job. Gee that guy sucks! And has Jack Nicholson ever played anything but “crazy motherfucker”? ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2008, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/140 "2008-01-01T19:19:47Z")
[QUOTE=Mighty\_Girl] I came here to say that. I think any random person off the street can do a better job. Gee that guy sucks! And has Jack Nicholson ever played anything but “crazy motherfucker”? [/QUOTE] Yes, in **Five Easy Pieces, The Pledge, About Schmidt** and possibly some others. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551.md?page=8)