# Wow they really can't act! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 19, 2007, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551 "2007-12-19T04:19:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2008, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/141 "2008-01-01T19:43:19Z")
[QUOTE=Lust4Life] Costner of course,his portrayal of an outlaw in the English Middle ages in Robin Hood with an American accent is notable for his apparent total lack of embarassment for doing so. Mel Gibson with his amusing "Scottish "accent in Brave Heart. [/QUOTE] See, now, here is an area where I don’t think actors should be criticized. William Wallace would have sounded nothing like any Scot alive today; you probably wouldn’t have been able to understand anything he said. Robin Hood, had there been such a person, would have been not much more understandable to you than if he were speaking Yiddish. Their accents would have been unlike anything heard today. Robin Hood spoke a version of English that would not have shared even half its vocabulary with the version you speak, and what words you would have used in common he would have pronounced completely differently, not even using the same vowels. So why criticize Costner and Gibson? Their accents weren’t any further from the characters they were playing as anyone else in the movie. Nobody ever seems to mention how strange it is that all actors playing Romans sound British. If you’re going to have them speak with an accent, shouldn’t it be Italian? ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2008, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/142 "2008-01-01T22:31:35Z")
[QUOTE=vivalostwages] Yes, in **Five Easy Pieces, The Pledge, About Schmidt** and possibly some others. [/QUOTE] He was odd in **The Witches of Eastwick**. But I wouldn’t say insaane. ---
**Author:** ![Spoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@Spoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoke)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2008, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/143 "2008-01-01T22:40:59Z")
I just saw [Ghost Rider](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0259324/) on cable, and I came in here to add [Eva Mendes](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0578949/) to the list. I can’t remember when I’ve seen a more wooden performance. Actually, that movie’s cast is like a bad acting all-star team, since it also stars **Nicholas Cage** and **Peter Fonda**. (The acting gene apparently skips a generation in the Fonda family.) ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2008, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/144 "2008-01-01T22:46:03Z")
[QUOTE=Typo Knig] I have, on this very message board, defended her acting in that role. I saw that Bond movie on cable the other day, and all I can say is I’m sorry! What the **hell** was I thinking??OK, I know what I was thinking with - but still! Her acting was not so marvelous. OK, she was just a Bond Girl, but yeah, not great. [/QUOTE] I can’t say I noticed Denise’s acting. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Mrs.Cake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2acd7d/32.png) [@Mrs.Cake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mrs.Cake)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2008, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/145 "2008-01-01T22:51:39Z")
After watching _Vertigo_ and _Bell, Book, and Candle_ back-to-back, I have to throw Kim Novak’s name in the ring. She’s totally emotionless, a black hole in every scene she’s in, and it’s especially bad because she’s always in these otherwise great movies with fabulous casts. As much as I love the movies she is in, I always fantasize about how great they would have been with a real actress instead of a life-support system for a pair of eyebrows. ---
**Author:** ![Moirai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/96bed5/32.png) [@Moirai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moirai)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2008, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/146 "2008-01-02T00:15:34Z")
[QUOTE=Lord Ashtar] Hath not a dude eyes? If you prick us, do we not get bummed? If you poison us, do we not blow chunks? [/QUOTE] That is comic gold. Thank you. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2008, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/147 "2008-01-02T03:04:48Z")
[QUOTE=don’t ask] The bleak but under-rated _Wonderland_? [/QUOTE] OK, Val Kilmer was great in Tombstone, Thunderheart, Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang, Real Genius, Top Gun, Spartan, Wonderland and several other films, but OTHER THAN THAT what has he ever been good in? ---
**Author:** ![Lightray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lightray/32/391_2.png) [@Lightray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightray)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2008, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/148 "2008-01-02T03:41:04Z")
[QUOTE=RickJay] So why criticize Costner and Gibson? Their accents weren’t any further from the characters they were playing as anyone else in the movie. Nobody ever seems to mention how strange it is that all actors playing Romans sound British. If you’re going to have them speak with an accent, shouldn’t it be Italian? [/QUOTE] They are criticized because the accent of their character does not match the accents of their character’s countrymen in the film. If all the “Romans” speak with British accents, one with a Texas twang is jarringly out-of-place. Given their many other shortcomings as actors, though, it’s not exactly the first complaint I have about Costner or Gibson in non-fluff roles. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2008, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/149 "2008-01-02T04:27:42Z")
3 pages and no Meg Ryan? She plays “Sally” in every role she’s in. Or she plays… Meg Ryan. I got sick of her. Gotta add Elizabeth Taylor in here as well. She was never any of her characters–except in real life. I second John Wayne–it can be fun to see the Duke be a Marine or a cowboy, but that’s all it is. Mel Gibson–cannot say enough BAD about him. Won’t see a movie if he’s in it. Also, Arnold Schwarzenegger–ugh and yuck and blech. Ben Affleck wasn’t bad in _Good Will Hunting_, but he has certainly stunk up the screen since then. Tom Cruise is also one or two notes (I give him 2 because of Jerry MacGuire). And I must add his ex, Nicole Kidman to this list. Look at me! I’m an ice queen! And I play one on the screen–over and over again…yawn. ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2008, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/150 "2008-01-02T05:03:23Z")
How about Mariska Hargitay? She’s got all the acting talent of your average overzealous extra. She has one single facial expression, that open-mouthed shocked look, and she seems to be continually looking for excuses to pull it out of her bag of trick(s). > [@RickJay](#): > > The worst actor of moderntimes to appear in a significant number of professional Hollywood or network productions, in significant roles, not counting athletes, is Rebecca Pidgeon. Nobody else named in this thread is even in the same area code of awfulness. Well, I’ve only ever seen her in Edmond, but I can’t blame her for that crapfest: it was practically a clinc for horrifically bad scripting. It takes a special kind of talent to make William H. Macy look like a bad actor, and the poor guy really did everything he could to save the damn thing. > [@myskepticsight](#): > > Josh Hartnett and Paul Walker are kinda hot dudes, but ugh so horrible. Luckily they make mostly stupid movies anyway that I have no desire to see, but being friends with who I am, I’ve seen enough of these guys. If they would just stand there and not talk… I thought Hartnett wasn’t bad in 30 Days of Night. Not great, but good enough to sell the part. > [@RickJay](#): > > Nobody ever seems to mention how strange it is that all actors playing Romans sound British. If you’re going to have them speak with an accent, shouldn’t it be Italian? Nope. RP sounds imperial and authoritative to English-listening ears, which is about what the type of Roman characters portrayed in American film would have sounded like to Roman Empire ears. William Wallace should sound like a 1998 Scot in a 1998 movie, because 1998 viewers should have the same “Ah, there goes the epitomy of Scottishness” reaction that the people of his time would have had hearing him. Your argument is akin to saying that modern Shakespeare adaptations should be in the English of the time, a fallacy that doomed the godawful “Romeo+Juliet” movie. ---
**Author:** ![ZebraShaSha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/eada6e/32.png) [@ZebraShaSha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZebraShaSha)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2008, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/151 "2008-01-02T05:47:14Z")
[QUOTE=spoke-] I just saw [Ghost Rider](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0259324/) on cable, and I came in here to add [Eva Mendes](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0578949/) to the list. I can’t remember when I’ve seen a more wooden performance. Actually, that movie’s cast is like a bad acting all-star team, since it also stars **Nicholas Cage** and **Peter Fonda**. (The acting gene apparently skips a generation in the Fonda family.) [/QUOTE] The only evidence you ever need of Nicolas Cage’s acting ability: [Wicker Man](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e6i2WRreARo) Although I enjoyed _Raising Arizona._ ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2008, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/152 "2008-01-02T06:50:30Z")
[QUOTE=Evil Captor] OK, Val Kilmer was great in Tombstone, Thunderheart, Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang, Real Genius, Top Gun, Spartan, Wonderland and several other films, but OTHER THAN THAT what has he ever been good in? [/QUOTE] I might be alone, but I think he did a great job in **Batman Forever**. The problem is, Kilmer seemed to think he was in a different movie than the rest of the actors. So he was playing Bruce Wayne like the genuinely disturbed man he is, in a rather under-stated way, and Nicole Kidman, Jim Carey, and Tommy Lee Jones were on a continuum from “brain dead” to “devouring the scenery.” As a result, Kilmer looked out of place. I also quite enjoyed him in **The Ghost and the Darkness**. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2008, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/153 "2008-01-02T07:15:50Z")
[QUOTE=pepperlandgirl] I might be alone, but I think he did a great job in **Batman Forever**. [/quote] Good point. I can agree with that. > [@](#): > > I also quite enjoyed him in **The Ghost and the Darkness**. Well, that’s a fair point, too. Still, although Val Kilmer was great in Tombstone, Thunderheart, Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang, Real Genius, Top Gun, Spartan, Wonderland, Batman Forever, The Ghost and the Darkness and possibly several other films, _OTHER THAN THAT_ what has he ever been good in? ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2008, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/154 "2008-01-03T16:09:30Z")
[QUOTE=vivalostwages] Yes, in **Five Easy Pieces, The Pledge, About Schmidt** and possibly some others. [/QUOTE] I haven’t seen the first two, so you might have a case, but really, I haven’t seen anything by Nicholson that strays from his usual “raise eyebrow, smile like a deeply disturbed man” expression. Do you imagine him playing all the characters that Dustin Hoffman has? I don’t. ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2008, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/155 "2008-01-03T22:03:11Z")
Samaire Armstrong. The only thespian in history who ACTS WITH HER COLLARBONES. ---
**Author:** ![Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hey_It_s_That_Guy)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2008, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/156 "2008-01-03T22:27:29Z")
[QUOTE=Evil Captor] Good point. I can agree with that. Well, that’s a fair point, too. Still, although Val Kilmer was great in Tombstone, Thunderheart, Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang, Real Genius, Top Gun, Spartan, Wonderland, Batman Forever, The Ghost and the Darkness and possibly several other films, _OTHER THAN THAT_ what has he ever been good in? [/QUOTE] _Tombstone_ is my favorite Kilmer movie, and I also loved _Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang_, but I thought he was spot-on as Jim Morrison in _The Doors_. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2008, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/157 "2008-01-03T23:52:29Z")
[QUOTE=vivalostwages] Yes, in **Five Easy Pieces, The Pledge, About Schmidt** and possibly some others. [/QUOTE] **Chinatown** and **Prizzi’s Honor** , to name two more. ---
**Author:** ![Equipoise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/equipoise/32/151_2.png) [@Equipoise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Equipoise)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2008, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/158 "2008-01-04T03:09:48Z")
[QUOTE=Evil Captor] Well, that’s a fair point, too. Still, although Val Kilmer was great in Tombstone, Thunderheart, Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang, Real Genius, Top Gun, Spartan, Wonderland, Batman Forever, The Ghost and the Darkness and possibly several other films, _OTHER THAN THAT_ what has he ever been good in? [/QUOTE] Top Secret! And, I’m sorry, but even though she’s had unfortunate commercial failures, Nicole Kidman is one of the finest actresses working today. Her resume is stuffed with amazing performances, in big movies and small indies, and even if several of them do utilize the Ice Queen persona, she’s absolutely brilliant at using it when she does (most recently in the sadly overlooked **Margot At The Wedding** and the sadly mis-directed **The Golden Compass** ). Just because she fits beautifully into a niche doesn’t make her less of an actress. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2008, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/159 "2008-01-04T03:19:09Z")
[QUOTE=Equipoise] Top Secret! And, I’m sorry, but even though she’s had unfortunate commercial failures, Nicole Kidman is one of the finest actresses working today. Her resume is stuffed with amazing performances, in big movies and small indies, and even if several of them do utilize the Ice Queen persona, she’s absolutely brilliant at using it when she does (most recently in the sadly overlooked **Margot At The Wedding** and the sadly mis-directed **The Golden Compass** ). Just because she fits beautifully into a niche doesn’t make her less of an actress. [/QUOTE] Where was she great? She was horrible in Golden Compass, one of the worst parts of a bad movie. I will concede she was good in the bad movie, “Bewitched”. But that was hardly great acting. She was terrible in The Interpreter, The Stepford Wives, The Human Stain, Birthday Girl, Moulin Rouge!, Eyes Wide Shut & Batman Forever. She was Okay in The Others & Practical Magic. Did I somehow miss all of her good acting roles despite the many bad one I have seen? ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2008, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551/160 "2008-01-04T03:30:13Z")
[QUOTE=eleanorigby] 3 pages and no Meg Ryan? She plays “Sally” in every role she’s in. Or she plays… Meg Ryan. I got sick of her. [/QUOTE] Actually, in every movie she does, Meg Ryan plays Melanie Griffith. Conversely, Melanie Griffith always plays Meg Ryan. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-they-really-cant-act/430551.md?page=9)