# Wow, you're so clever for noticing it was a zombie thread!

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-youre-so-clever-for-noticing-it-was-a-zombie-thread/616391>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [March 21, 2012, 11:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-youre-so-clever-for-noticing-it-was-a-zombie-thread/616391 "2012-03-21T11:14:31Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![lavenderviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/cdc98d/32.png) [@lavenderviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lavenderviolet)\
**Post date:** [March 21, 2012, 11:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-youre-so-clever-for-noticing-it-was-a-zombie-thread/616391/1 "2012-03-21T11:14:31Z")

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It looks like a teenager doing a google search found [this old thread from 2002](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=14886980) and posted  
[this post that makes it sound like he is growing up in a crappy environment](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=14886503&postcount=19). To me, it sounds like he or his grandma are possibly being abused (“He is so controlling and thinks he can push me and my 74 year old grandmother around. The only reason i wont fight him is because hes been in prison and jail for whiles at a time.” “he thinks since i live with him he can put his hands on me and try to hit me”)

So, of course, instead of anyone offering any useful advice or sympathy at least, all he gets in response are a few smart aleck comments about how it’s a zombie thread.

It seems pretty ridiculous to me that when you hear some kid is in trouble your first priority is to show how clever you are for having noticed that the post was made in an old thread.

Zombie threads are going to keep showing up here as long as the board is indexed by google. When new people show up here with a sincere comment or question, it seems really rude to ignore what they were trying to say just to point out they posted it in the wrong place according to the arbitrary quirk of this board’s culture (there are other forums where nobody cares if someone bumps an old thread). But I guess it wouldn’t be the Dope if it weren’t for an Aspergerian level of pedantry from some.

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**Author:** ![PlainJain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5daacb/32.png) [@PlainJain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlainJain)\
**Post date:** [March 21, 2012, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-youre-so-clever-for-noticing-it-was-a-zombie-thread/616391/2 "2012-03-21T12:42:26Z")

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I don’t mind people mentioning it’s a zombie thread, sometimes that’s helpful, but what I dislike is those who post _only_ to make a BRAAAAIIIINs joke. It’s as grating as “Hi Opal” to me.

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**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\
**Post date:** [March 21, 2012, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-youre-so-clever-for-noticing-it-was-a-zombie-thread/616391/3 "2012-03-21T12:55:55Z")

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I’d just like to say that I am bookmarking this post so that in 2019 I can reply to it saying “I agree.”

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**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\
**Post date:** [March 21, 2012, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-youre-so-clever-for-noticing-it-was-a-zombie-thread/616391/4 "2012-03-21T13:03:55Z")

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ISTM most zombie threads are reanimated by someone that stumbled upon it by accident, make a one off remark and then never return. If the original thread was asking for advice about something somewhat time sensitive, it’s helpful to have someone mention that it’s an old thread.

It’s kind of funny when you see someone tell the OP that they need to break up with their boyfriend, pull their money out of that stock, give advice on a bad landlord etc only to realize that the thread is 7 years old, the OP likely doesn’t need the info anymore and the person that reanimated it registered today, this is their first post and the chance that they’ll come back is just about zero.

We’ve all seen this happen, we’ve all see a zombie thread get reanimated and then several regular dopers will jump in before anyone notices that it’s an old thread.

No one is being clever with the zombie jokes, it’s just a way of letting everyone know what’s going on.

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**Author:** ![Azeotrope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/0ea827/32.png) [@Azeotrope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Azeotrope)\
**Post date:** [March 21, 2012, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-youre-so-clever-for-noticing-it-was-a-zombie-thread/616391/5 "2012-03-21T13:22:08Z")

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> [@Joey\_P](#):
>
> **No one is being clever with the zombie jokes** , it’s just a way of letting everyone know what’s going on.

My bolding.

_Truer words were never typed._

The first response after the bump, “at least he’s not eating your BRAAAAIIIINNNNSSS hur dur hur” is both unhelpful and isn’t going to make a bit of sense to a new poster who doesn’t know what a zombie thread is and that this board doesn’t like old threads bumped.

Yes, a lot of thread-bumpers are one post wonders, but if I were posting on a board for the first time about a problem and that was the reception I got, I’d never come back either.

Honestly, how much harder is it to make a comment like “Hi, new poster, this thread is from 2002, so you’ll probably get more help if you make a new thread about your problem.”

Actually, I just wish to hell that TPTB would come up with some kind of policy on zombie threads and automatically lock threads after a reasonable time period (a year or so after the last post date).

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**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\
**Post date:** [March 21, 2012, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-youre-so-clever-for-noticing-it-was-a-zombie-thread/616391/6 "2012-03-21T13:42:34Z")

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> [@ugly ripe tomato](#):
>
> My bolding.
> 
> _Truer words were never typed._

Just to be clear, I was disagreeing with the OP, I meant no one was _trying_ to be clever. It’s just a stupid meme that keeps getting used. I don’t really have any feelings about it one way or the other.

> [@](#):
>
> Actually, I just wish to hell that TPTB would come up with some kind of policy on zombie threads and automatically lock threads after a reasonable time period (a year or so after the last post date).

I agree with you there. I know they can’t lock all the old threads, it’s been asked and they said they would have to do it manually. The rule used to be that zombie threads got locked down automatically as soon as they popped back up. Then they ‘relaxed’ it, but still locked them down about half the time. Now it seems they allow them but every few months someone starts a thread complaining about them.

I’ve mentioned this before but on another vB board I’m on if you post to a thread that hasn’t had a post in more then a certain amount of time you have to click a bunch of extra buttons and agree to something stating that you are aware of how old it is (and that you probably don’t actually have anything useful to add). I’m not sure if it’s a hack or not though.

Just to be clear though, in general, I don’t mind zombie threads. When it’s animated because of new pertinent info or to restart a good discussion it’s fine. But when some drags up a 10 year old thread about a relationship problem just to ask about their unrelated issue, it’s kind of annoying after you read 2 pages of it.

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**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\
**Post date:** [March 21, 2012, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-youre-so-clever-for-noticing-it-was-a-zombie-thread/616391/7 "2012-03-21T13:52:47Z")

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I support this pitting. It’s not about Zombie threads in general, it’s about that case where a teen is clearly in a horrible situation and all he gets is a joke about it being an old thread. I mean, look at this:

> [@Teenager Busts Dad for Growing Pot](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/teenager-busts-dad-for-growing-pot/109325/19):
>
> Well im a 17 year old teenager aswell.
> 
> I’m so fedup with my father, hes growing 20 plants .  
> **Works 3 days out of the week. and is a lazy drunk.**
> 
> atleast a few times out of the week, he’ll find something that isnt even horriable and just goes balistic. I have to put with with watching my annoying grandmother and even when she pissed him off he finds something else and then proceeds on me.
> 
> He is so controlling and thinks **he can push me and my 74 year old grandmother around**. The only reason i wont fight him is because **hes been in prison and jail for whiles at a time. and a little bigger than me.**
> 
> He expects so much from me tho ive had noone to help me, him and my mother were seperated when i was 5 and ive lived with my mom while he was in and out of jail.\*\*My mom got tired of me so im living with him, he thinks since i live with him he can put his hands on me and try to hit me. \*\*None of you people know every ones life storys..
> 
> im going to be calling the cops on my dad soon.  
> \*\*  
> & most of all no teenager like myself needs to be living in a trap house. filled with bugs\*\*. Im so tired of this lifestyle , its gross and not my habitat.  
> Alot of my neighbors know about it and im not going to jail for something i didnt do or that isnt my choice.

This kid needs sympathy and advice, not smart-ass remarks.

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\
**Post date:** [March 21, 2012, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-youre-so-clever-for-noticing-it-was-a-zombie-thread/616391/8 "2012-03-21T14:01:24Z")

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It seems like in cases like that a mod needs to split off the relevant posts into a new thread and PM/email the (new) OP to let them know where to find it and why they split it off.  
I’m guessing that’s what’ll happen as soon as a mod notices it.

It would probably also be helpful to either leave a note at the end of the old thread (with a link to the new one) to explain the zombie jokes just like they would when a thread is reanimated by a spam post.

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**Author:** ![Azeotrope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/0ea827/32.png) [@Azeotrope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Azeotrope)\
**Post date:** [March 21, 2012, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-youre-so-clever-for-noticing-it-was-a-zombie-thread/616391/9 "2012-03-21T14:18:01Z")

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**Joey P** I understood what you meant, it’s just the “brains” jokes are my biggest personal pet peeve about this board and I wish there was some kind of policy in place to flag old threads as such that won’t come off as assholish. (and I do think the zombie jokers think they’re being “funny”)

I didn’t know they’d have to lock all the old threads manually, which would indeed suck-diddly-uck.

I’ve seen a couple where a mod has added something along the lines of “just so you know, this thread is X years old” to the OP.

It might be even better if they could edit the thread title, since a lot of people just go automatically to the new posts in the thread and don’t see the date of the OP.

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**Author:** ![howye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9adbd/32.png) [@howye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/howye)\
**Post date:** [March 21, 2012, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-youre-so-clever-for-noticing-it-was-a-zombie-thread/616391/10 "2012-03-21T15:10:17Z")

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You know what is lamer than zombie jokes in zombie threads? People who gripe about memes on the board. It happens, get over it.

I find the new allowance of zombie threads to be a horrible change. They are revived almost universally by a new poster, usually on their first post and often their only post, to continue a discussion that has long dribbled into irrelevancy. But because of google search this happens all the time now. In the linked thread, the kid’s post had nothing really to do with the original. He lives in a shitty home with a shitty father, start a new thread please.

Plus, if somebody can’t figure out the zombie jokes, perhaps they should find another source of entertainment.

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**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\
**Post date:** [March 21, 2012, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-youre-so-clever-for-noticing-it-was-a-zombie-thread/616391/11 "2012-03-21T15:20:59Z")

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> [@Joey\_P](#):
>
> ISTM most zombie threads are reanimated by someone that stumbled upon it by accident, make a one off remark and then never return. If the original thread was asking for advice about something somewhat time sensitive, it’s helpful to have someone mention that it’s an old thread.
> 
> It’s kind of funny when you see someone tell the OP that they need to break up with their boyfriend, pull their money out of that stock, give advice on a bad landlord etc only to realize that the thread is 7 years old, the OP likely doesn’t need the info anymore and the person that reanimated it registered today, this is their first post and the chance that they’ll come back is just about zero.  
> [snip]

And what you described is what happens in the majority of zombie threads. Clueless people add their 2 cents to long forgotten situations and somebody gives them their much deserved ribbing for it.

But the panties-up-the-sphincter crowd find one inappropriate example of Zombie-isms and jump in the pit whining that it’s time to:

lock zombie threads  
edit thread titles  
Program extra buttons  
edit zombie threads  
install unicorns and rainbows for wounded, confused newbies  
eat Opal’s Braaaaains

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**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\
**Post date:** [March 21, 2012, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-youre-so-clever-for-noticing-it-was-a-zombie-thread/616391/12 "2012-03-21T15:21:34Z")

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I’m so going to bump this in a couple of years’ time.

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**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\
**Post date:** [March 21, 2012, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-youre-so-clever-for-noticing-it-was-a-zombie-thread/616391/13 "2012-03-21T15:25:57Z")

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> [@jjimm](#):
>
> I’m so going to bump this in a couple of years’ time.

Hopefully the unicorns and rainbows will prevent that.

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**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\
**Post date:** [March 21, 2012, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-youre-so-clever-for-noticing-it-was-a-zombie-thread/616391/14 "2012-03-21T15:36:54Z")

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> [@howye](#):
>
> You know what is lamer than zombie jokes in zombie threads? People who gripe about memes on the board. It happens, get over it.

Okay. But that’s not what this thread is. This thread is complaining about how a specific instance of the meme was thoughtless and cruel.

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**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\
**Post date:** [March 21, 2012, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-youre-so-clever-for-noticing-it-was-a-zombie-thread/616391/15 "2012-03-21T15:54:56Z")

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> [@MandaJo](#):
>
> Okay. But that’s not what this thread is. This thread is complaining about how a specific instance of the meme was thoughtless and cruel.

I’m amazed that you could read the OP and specifically the thread title and closing paragraph and come away with that understanding.

Ask whoever read it too you to read it again and see if the second time you can draw the same conclusion.

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**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\
**Post date:** [March 21, 2012, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-youre-so-clever-for-noticing-it-was-a-zombie-thread/616391/16 "2012-03-21T17:10:50Z")

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> [@MandaJo](#):
>
> I support this pitting. It’s not about Zombie threads in general, it’s about that case where a teen is clearly in a horrible situation and all he gets is a joke about it being an old thread. I mean, look at this:
> 
> This kid needs sympathy and advice, not smart-ass remarks.

Then why is he visiting a message board instead of actually looking for help from somebody who can provide it?

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**Author:** ![kanicbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f8ce5/32.png) [@kanicbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kanicbird)\
**Post date:** [March 21, 2012, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-youre-so-clever-for-noticing-it-was-a-zombie-thread/616391/17 "2012-03-21T17:17:28Z")

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I find it helpful to know that it is a zombie thread, It makes me look at the re-start point rather then the OP as much.

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**Author:** ![gamerunknown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/6bbea6/32.png) [@gamerunknown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gamerunknown)\
**Post date:** [March 21, 2012, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-youre-so-clever-for-noticing-it-was-a-zombie-thread/616391/18 "2012-03-21T17:20:02Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> Ask whoever read it too you to read it again and see if the second time you can draw the same conclusion.

Since you’re insulting her reading comprehension circuitously would this count as an example of gaudere’s law?

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**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\
**Post date:** [March 21, 2012, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-youre-so-clever-for-noticing-it-was-a-zombie-thread/616391/19 "2012-03-21T17:21:10Z")

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I’m on board with this pitting. People DO think they’re being clever and it’s cringe-inducing at best.

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![howye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9adbd/32.png) [@howye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/howye)\
**Post date:** [March 21, 2012, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wow-youre-so-clever-for-noticing-it-was-a-zombie-thread/616391/20 "2012-03-21T17:29:12Z")

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> [@Bob Ducca](#):
>
> I’m on board with this pitting. People DO think they’re being clever and it’s cringe-inducing at best.

Whoa someone on the SDMB thinking they are clever? We gotta stop that shit!

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