# Write bad movie blurbs for popular film (long intro) s **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** movies\ **Created:** [July 29, 2025, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-bad-movie-blurbs-for-popular-film-long-intro-s/1021465 "2025-07-29T12:59:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2025, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-bad-movie-blurbs-for-popular-film-long-intro-s/1021465/21 "2025-07-29T23:05:46Z")
Probably for another thread, but I like the blurbs written by someone who only watched the first five or ten minutes of the film: _\*Pumpkin and Honey Bunny aren’t as harmless as they look.”_ ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2025, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-bad-movie-blurbs-for-popular-film-long-intro-s/1021465/22 "2025-07-29T23:20:14Z")
> [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > Awkward illegal immigrant from a farm moves to the big city and finds adventure, a girl, and his true calling, a role he was born to fill. > > Also, he can fly. Also, he _thinks_ he can fly. ---
**Author:** ![WildaBeast](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wildabeast/32/6_2.png) [@WildaBeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WildaBeast)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2025, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-bad-movie-blurbs-for-popular-film-long-intro-s/1021465/23 "2025-07-29T23:46:35Z")
I remember this actual blurb from the newspaper TV listings from when I was a teen: “A boy wants a Red Ryder BB gun for Christmas.” ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2025, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-bad-movie-blurbs-for-popular-film-long-intro-s/1021465/24 "2025-07-30T05:55:50Z")
A young boy has trouble with his eyesight. The man that he turns to for help may not be all that he seems to be. ---
**Author:** ![kferr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/71e660/32.png) [@kferr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kferr)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2025, 10:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-bad-movie-blurbs-for-popular-film-long-intro-s/1021465/25 "2025-07-30T10:08:16Z")
A frog tells a young man to kill his father. ---
**Author:** ![iamatractorboy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iamatractorboy/32/21261_2.png) [@iamatractorboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamatractorboy)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2025, 10:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-bad-movie-blurbs-for-popular-film-long-intro-s/1021465/26 "2025-07-30T10:36:09Z")
> [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > Awkward illegal immigrant from a farm moves to the big city and finds adventure, a girl, and his true calling, a role he was born to fill. > > Also, he can fly. Did I mention that? I thought this was _Crocodile Dundee_ for a second. But then last bit ruined that idea. How about… A policeman who is scared of water, an alcoholic, and a rich brat go fishing. ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2025, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-bad-movie-blurbs-for-popular-film-long-intro-s/1021465/27 "2025-07-30T14:15:03Z")
> [@don\_t\_ask](#): > > A young boy has trouble with his eyesight. The man that he turns to for help may not be all that he seems to be. Frankenstein? > [@kferr](#): > > A frog tells a young man to kill his father. The Empire Strikes Back? > [@iamatractorboy](#): > > A policeman who is scared of water, an alcoholic, and a rich brat go fishing. Jaws. Pirate wins the heart of the princess by being a total dick. ---
**Author:** ![kferr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/71e660/32.png) [@kferr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kferr)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2025, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-bad-movie-blurbs-for-popular-film-long-intro-s/1021465/28 "2025-07-30T14:49:53Z")
Yep. I didn’t make it up, saw it somewhere. ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2025, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-bad-movie-blurbs-for-popular-film-long-intro-s/1021465/29 "2025-07-30T15:16:20Z")
> [@Irishman](#): > > Pirate wins the heart of the princess by being a total dick. I asked AI and it said this. But I think it’s wrong. _The Princess Bride_? * * * This phrase likely refers to the **Pirates of the Caribbean** franchise, specifically the relationship between **Captain Jack Sparrow** and **Elizabeth Swann**. While Elizabeth’s primary love interest is Will Turner, Jack’s flamboyant, self-serving, and often morally ambiguous behavior throughout the films, particularly in _The Curse of the Black Pearl_ and _Dead Man’s Chest_, creates a clear attraction and tension with the strong-willed Elizabeth. Elizabeth is drawn to the adventurous and unconventional life of a pirate, something Jack embodies, even as she disapproves of his tactics and questionable motives. This creates a dynamic where his “dickish” pirate ways ironically spark a fascination and respect in Elizabeth, even if not a full-blown romance * * * Teenager who has a questionable relationship with an older man tries to get his parents back together, even while his mother hits on him. ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2025, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-bad-movie-blurbs-for-popular-film-long-intro-s/1021465/30 "2025-07-30T15:19:40Z")
> [@solost](#): > > I asked AI and it said this. But I think it’s wrong. _The Princess Bride_? > > * * * > > This phrase likely refers to the > > **Pirates of the Caribbean** franchise, specifically the relationship between **Captain Jack Sparrow** and **Elizabeth Swann**. No and no. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2025, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-bad-movie-blurbs-for-popular-film-long-intro-s/1021465/31 "2025-07-30T15:26:58Z")
Another bad blurb that actually exists: [“A couple enter the asylum of a mad vampire doctor and his one-eyed assistant with bangs, Carl.”](https://cinemaretro.com/index.php?/archives/1447-WORST-CABLE-TV-MOVIE-DESCRIPTIONS-OF-ALL-TIME!.html) > **[Blood of the Vampire](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blood_of_the_Vampire)** > > Blood of the Vampire is a 1958 British colour horror film directed by Henry Cass and starring Donald Wolfit, Barbara Shelley, and Vincent Ball. The film was produced by Robert S. Baker and Monty Berman for Tempean Films, from a screenplay by Jimmy Sangster. > The film's U.S. release was in October 1958 as a double feature with Universal's Monster on the Campus (1958). > The film's storyline, set in Transylvania, is about a scientist who uses the inmates of a prison for the criminally insane as s... ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2025, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-bad-movie-blurbs-for-popular-film-long-intro-s/1021465/32 "2025-07-30T15:29:46Z")
A group of incels retaliates against their more popular peers by committing numerous sexual assaults against the women in the more popular peer group, up to and including rape. ---
**Author:** ![Kron](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kron/32/12444_2.png) [@Kron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kron)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2025, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-bad-movie-blurbs-for-popular-film-long-intro-s/1021465/33 "2025-07-30T15:35:46Z")
> [@Irishman](#): > > > [@solost](#): > > > > I asked AI and it said this. But I think it’s wrong. _The Princess Bride_? > > > > * * * > > > > This phrase likely refers to the > > > > **Pirates of the Caribbean** franchise, specifically the relationship between **Captain Jack Sparrow** and **Elizabeth Swann**. > > No and no. Hmm, _Princess Bride_ was my guess too… > [@solost](#): > > Teenager who has a questionable relationship with an older man tries to get his parents back together, even while his mother hits on him. _Back to the Future_. > [@solost](#): > > A group of incels retaliates against their more popular peers by committing numerous sexual assaults against the women in the more popular peer group, up to and including rape. _Revenge of the Nerds_. ---
**Author:** ![Chelonaut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9a140/32.png) [@Chelonaut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chelonaut)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2025, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-bad-movie-blurbs-for-popular-film-long-intro-s/1021465/34 "2025-07-30T16:11:43Z")
Widower attempts to reconnect with his alienated son. (Stolen from somewhere, possibly old SD thread) ---
**Author:** ![fachverwirrt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/94ad74/32.png) [@fachverwirrt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fachverwirrt)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2025, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-bad-movie-blurbs-for-popular-film-long-intro-s/1021465/35 "2025-07-30T16:28:01Z")
A motley crew treks cross-country to return some lost jewelry. ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2025, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-bad-movie-blurbs-for-popular-film-long-intro-s/1021465/36 "2025-07-30T16:31:15Z")
> [@Chelonaut](#): > > Widower attempts to reconnect with his alienated son. > > (Stolen from somewhere, possibly old SD thread) AI suggested _Over the Top_, but I don’t think AI is good at this game. I’ve never seen the movie, myself. > [@fachverwirrt](#): > > A motley crew treks cross-country to return some lost jewelry. I got this one all by myself– _The Lord of the Rings_ ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2025, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-bad-movie-blurbs-for-popular-film-long-intro-s/1021465/37 "2025-07-30T16:34:44Z")
> [@Chelonaut](#): > > Widower attempts to reconnect with his alienated son. The Empire Strikes Back? ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2025, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-bad-movie-blurbs-for-popular-film-long-intro-s/1021465/38 "2025-07-30T16:40:10Z")
_Man misplaces coat, loses fortune in financial crisis._ ---
**Author:** ![Chelonaut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9a140/32.png) [@Chelonaut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chelonaut)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2025, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-bad-movie-blurbs-for-popular-film-long-intro-s/1021465/39 "2025-07-30T17:03:25Z")
> [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](#): > > The Empire Strikes Back? Yes! > [@solost](#): > > AI suggested _Over the Top_, but I don’t think AI is good at this game. I’ve never seen the movie, myself. I think I saw it a loong time ago. Sly does semi pro arm wrestling is all I remember. ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2025, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-bad-movie-blurbs-for-popular-film-long-intro-s/1021465/40 "2025-07-30T17:09:44Z")
> [@Chelonaut](#): > > > [@solost](#): > > > > AI suggested _Over the Top_, but I don’t think AI is good at this game. I’ve never seen the movie, myself. > > I think I saw it a loong time ago. Sly does semi pro arm wrestling is all I remember. I asked AI something like “what movie might be a good fit for this tongue-in-cheek description?” And it gave me _Over the Top_, to which your submission pretty _literally_ describes the movie’s plot. I don’t think AI understands ‘tongue-in-cheek’ very well 🙄 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-bad-movie-blurbs-for-popular-film-long-intro-s/1021465.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-bad-movie-blurbs-for-popular-film-long-intro-s/1021465.md?page=3)