# Write Homer's resume. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 28, 2004, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-homers-resume/257193 "2004-07-28T00:43:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 4\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2004, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-homers-resume/257193/1 "2004-07-28T00:43:02Z")
I’m updating my own resume, and I just realized I missed the early Simpsons on Fox. Damn! So I started thinking about the scary parallels between Homer and me. Job titles aren’t among them, I realized as I thought about Homer’s work history. I know I’m missing some here – please help me out. Nuclear safety technician – Do I have this word-for-word correct? And what was he before his promotion? Astronaut Missionary Quickie Mart clerk – Was he ever a Krusty Burger clerk? \*The Chosen One \*of the Stone Cutters Executive Secretary – while Smithers was vacationing Submarine Captain Moonshiner Conceptual artist Fish gutter Vocalist – in a barbershop quartet Mountaineer/spokesmodel Krusty the Clown lookalike Sideshow freak Carnie food critic Y2K compliance officer Boxer I’m trying to limit this to things he was actually _paid_ to do, or work he did to pay off a debt. I don’t know if he drew a salary as the Chosen One, but since he had an underground organization at his beck and call, I’m gonna count it. And you have to figure they paid for travel and lodging for Homer to be an astronaut. But I haven’t included things like when he appointed himself community safety activist, or when he was “Bigfoot”. What was his title: [ul] [li]when her was promoted as Max Power?[/li][li]when he worked for Robert Scorpio?[/li][li]when he took over the Springfield Sanitation Dept.?[/li] [/ul] ---
**Author:** ![Ryle\_Dup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Ryle\_Dup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ryle_Dup)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2004, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-homers-resume/257193/2 "2004-07-28T01:54:21Z")
I found this list off a quick google search; > [@](#): > > Springfield Nuclear Power Plant > Technical Supervisor, Sector 7G > Safety Inspector, Sector 7G (current position, with lapses) > Executive (with bathroom privileges and an assistant, Karl) > Executive Assistant/aka Smithers > Executive Vice-President > Owner > > Other > Plant Supervisor/Executive (Globex Corp., Cypress Creek) > Junior Vice-President (CompuGlobalHyperMegaNet) > Sailor, Naval Reserve (USS Jebediah) > Mayoral bodyguard > Mayor (New Springfield) > Sanitation Commissioner > Chief of Police > Owner, private security firm (SpringShield) > Telemarketer (Happy Dude) > Carnival worker/Carny > Con artist/Grifter > Bootlegger/Beer-Baron > Sugar smuggler (Motherloving Sugar Corp.) > Sugar salesman (Farmer Homer’s Sweet Sugar) > Farmer > ToMacco salesman > Traveling salesman (Simpson & Son, Revitalizing Tonic) > Grease collections/sales > Door-to-door spring salesman > Door-to-door knife salesman (Slash-Co.) > Candle maker (Ye Olde Candlemaker, Olde Springfield Towne) > Attack-dog trainer (Pitiless Pup Attack Dog School) > Waiter (Gulp ‘n’ Blow Drive-thru) > Inventor (eg. automatic hammer, 6-legged chair, lazy-bowl) > Oil-rig worker > Astronaut (NASA) > Celebrity assistant (Basinger/Baldwin) > Sports club owner (Denver Broncos) > Sports mascot (Springfield Isotopes) > Boxer > Mountain climber (Murderhorn) > League bowler (Pin-Pals) > Bowling alley assistant/Pin monkey (Bowl-o-rama) > Mini-golf assistant (Sir Putts-A-Lot) > Blackjack dealer (Monty’s Casino) > Convenience store night-clerk (Kwik-E-Mart) > Missionary > Safety protester > Baby proofer (Wee Care) > Union Boss (Intl. Union of Pastry Chefs, Jazz Dancers, and Nuclear Technicians) > Car designer (Powell Motors) > Car salesman > Chauffeur/Limo driver (Classy Joe’s) > Trucker > Snowplow proprietor and driver (Mr. Plow) > Freelance ambulance driver > Monorail conductor > Actor (SAG name, “Homer Jay Simpson”) > Cartoon voice (Poochie) > Drug Spokesman (Viagrogain) > Instructor, “How to keep a successful marriage” (Adult Education Annex) > Fortune Cookie fortune-writer > Food critic (Springfield Shopper) > Entertainment manager - Animal (Suds McDuff) > Entertainment manager - Country/Western artist (Lurleen Lumpkin) > Musician (Be Sharps) > Musician (“Everybody Hates Ned Flanders”) > Street musician (one-man-band) > Performance artist/Freak (Hullapalooza) > Authorized Krusty impersonator > Personal entertainer/Prank monkey > Conceptional artist (Louvre: American Style) > Mall Santa Claus > Used Car Salesman > Bartender at Moe’s Tavern From [here](http://encyclopedia.thefreedictionary.com/List%20of%20jobs%20Homer%20Simpson%20has%20held) I wonder if there are more? I remember in one episode he listed all the previous jobs he’s held. ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2004, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-homers-resume/257193/3 "2004-07-28T23:00:49Z")
The only thing I didn’t see in that list (unless I skimmed past it) was Daycare Provider. ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2004, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-homers-resume/257193/4 "2004-07-29T00:16:44Z")
Would inventor count? And yes, he did once work at Krustyburger. It was during the episode that talked about the early part of their marriage.