# Write Sarah Palin's Next History Lecture
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-sarah-palins-next-history-lecture/584318
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [June 4, 2011, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-sarah-palins-next-history-lecture/584318 "2011-06-04T17:57:42Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 3
### Author:  [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)
#### Post date: [June 6, 2011, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-sarah-palins-next-history-lecture/584318/41 "2011-06-06T02:48:58Z")
> [@Fear\_Itself](#):
>
> Way too thoughtful for the Saraccuda.
Okay, I’ll try again.
“It’s great to be here in Gettysburg, where Lincoln gave what may well be his most famous speech. I understand he actually lived here, as I’ve heard a lot about his Gettysburg address.”
---
### Author:  [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)
#### Post date: [June 6, 2011, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-sarah-palins-next-history-lecture/584318/42 "2011-06-06T02:51:06Z")
“I love it here in Chicago, where Abraham Lincoln started his political life as governor of Illinois before being elected the President. Y’know, Andy Sandberg called Chicago “hog butcher of the world” which I can really relate to, since I’ve dressed caribou and like that. Anyway, as I look across the shoreline of this beautiful Lake Illinois, all the way over there to Canada on the other side, I look forward to the day when Americans and Canadicans alike can peacefully put aside their differences and live as good neighbors.”
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### Author:  [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)
#### Post date: [June 6, 2011, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-sarah-palins-next-history-lecture/584318/43 "2011-06-06T02:54:13Z")
> [@Spoons](#):
>
> Okay, I’ll try again.
>
> “It’s great to be here in Gettysburg, where Lincoln gave what may well be his most famous speech. I understand he actually lived here, as I’ve heard a lot about his Gettysburg address.”
- _golf clap_\*
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### Author:  [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)
#### Post date: [June 6, 2011, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-sarah-palins-next-history-lecture/584318/44 "2011-06-06T03:28:27Z")
> [@Fear\_Itself](#):
>
> - _golf clap_\*
Phew! Thanks! 🙂
---
### Author:  [@ministryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ministryman)
#### Post date: [June 6, 2011, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-sarah-palins-next-history-lecture/584318/45 "2011-06-06T13:05:25Z")
I am delighted to be here in Washington D.C. celebrating women’s History Month!
It was here that men such as David Bowie and Steely Dan, through their star power and their music, brought to light the suffering of women all over the world, saying, “Look here dudes, these girls are equal to us! They need rights! Chill out and give them some!”
They, in turn, inspired powerful women such as Shirley B. Anthony and Bella Abzug to take up the cause and force record turnouts at the polls, much like my 2008 campaign did.
I stand here today, as a result of their efforts!
In case you don’t get the Bowie and Steely Dan references Suffragette City and Hey 19
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### Author:  [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)
#### Post date: [June 6, 2011, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-sarah-palins-next-history-lecture/584318/46 "2011-06-06T13:30:03Z")
[QUOTE=Marley23]
The problem is that she keeps letting them record the crap that comes out of her mouth.
[/QUOTE]
No. The problem is that is opening her mouth in the first place.
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### Author:  [@KRC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KRC)
#### Post date: [June 6, 2011, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-sarah-palins-next-history-lecture/584318/47 "2011-06-06T14:12:58Z")
I stayed awake once in History Class, so I know a lot. It seems history was discovered by the Assyrians, who were so horrified by this that they invented wheels and started invading other countries, a process the rest of the world has been imitating ever since. Then the Romans came along and founded a mega empire by selling Roman Meal. However, once the high school students got tired of being forced to learn Latin, they rebelled and overthrew the empire, which lead to the Dark Ages. People wandered around and bumped into each other a lot, which lead to nasty arguments and wars lasting hundreds of years. Then, Edison invented the light bulb! The Dark Ages were over!
But we still had to go through the Civil War. It wasn’t all bad, because Bob Dylan sang at the battle of Gettysburg and you can still buy his albums.
Of course there was that pesky event called WWII, but at least it lead to Nazi scientists in secret bunkers inventing the Ramones and Pink Floyd, who helped keep the Western world sedated through the Reagan, Clinton, and Bush Eras.
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### Author:  [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)
#### Post date: [June 6, 2011, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-sarah-palins-next-history-lecture/584318/48 "2011-06-06T15:27:22Z")
I can’t predict what idiocy she will spout next but I do believe that after she is elected President for Life, all books, except for the bible, will be burned and the bible will be rewritten by her minions and edited by her.
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### Author:  [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)
#### Post date: [June 6, 2011, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-sarah-palins-next-history-lecture/584318/49 "2011-06-06T15:37:24Z")
Look, Piper, this is the Missouri Breaks where Lewis n’ Clark finally caught that solid from God that made it easy goin’ to that Ohio River and such. Ya know, they coulda used I-90, but they knew they wouldn’t be famous and all if they took the easy way, so they had to climb over mountains and eat mules for dinner. And there weren’t any good snacks, either. It was goin’ rogue all the way, just like your momma.
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### Author:  [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)
#### Post date: [June 6, 2011, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-sarah-palins-next-history-lecture/584318/50 "2011-06-06T17:27:48Z")
Real Americans fought here. Real Americans like Betty Crocker with his coon skin cap and David Bowie with his Bowie knife. Real Americans stood up to the British and said, “You will not take the Alamo!”
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### Author:  [@x-ray\_vision](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/x-ray_vision)
#### Post date: [June 6, 2011, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-sarah-palins-next-history-lecture/584318/51 "2011-06-06T17:49:31Z")
[Fight brews over Sarah Palin on Paul Revere Wikipedia page](http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/the-fix/post/sarah-palin-fans-fight-over-paul-revere-wikipedia-page/2011/06/06/AGxtzHKH_blog.html)
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### Author:  [@Quercus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quercus)
#### Post date: [June 6, 2011, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-sarah-palins-next-history-lecture/584318/52 "2011-06-06T18:58:00Z")
> [@wolf\_in\_second\_hand\_clothing](#):
>
> “… if a soldier’s statue has one foot off the ground, they wounded their knee during the fighting, and if they have two feet off the ground, they gave their lives defending our country from foreign invaders.”
Oh, no. I didn’t realize [Bobby Orr](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Bobby_Orr_statue.jpg) was dead! At least it was in the service of defending us from those foreign St Louis-ers.
(Couldn’t resist, after realizing I did know of a statue with both feet off the ground)
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### Author:  [@user\_hostile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/user_hostile)
#### Post date: [June 6, 2011, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-sarah-palins-next-history-lecture/584318/53 "2011-06-06T19:47:00Z")
> [@x-ray\_vision](#):
>
> [Fight brews over Sarah Palin on Paul Revere Wikipedia page](http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/the-fix/post/sarah-palin-fans-fight-over-paul-revere-wikipedia-page/2011/06/06/AGxtzHKH_blog.html)
So the editors of the Great Soviet Encyclopedia have emigrated to the US? :rolleyes: :(.
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### Author:  [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)
#### Post date: [June 6, 2011, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-sarah-palins-next-history-lecture/584318/54 "2011-06-06T19:49:57Z")
As a four year old friend of mine once remarked “Life exists because we couldn’t make it up.”
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### Author:  [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)
#### Post date: [June 6, 2011, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-sarah-palins-next-history-lecture/584318/55 "2011-06-06T20:26:40Z")
I want to be holding the mic when Sarah and Piper visit this [Seattle museum exhibit](http://www.flickr.com/photos/nostri-imago/2891487036/in/set-72157607531342915)
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### Author:  [@typhoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/typhoon)
#### Post date: [June 6, 2011, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-sarah-palins-next-history-lecture/584318/56 "2011-06-06T22:15:19Z")
[Sarah Palin’s Real Bible History](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=taih2zUOmIM&NR=1).
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### Author:  [@Locrian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Locrian)
#### Post date: [June 7, 2011, 8:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-sarah-palins-next-history-lecture/584318/57 "2011-06-07T08:51:18Z")
“So glad to be in NORTH dakota where the, uhhh, rains fell for years, uhhh, eventually carving out the faces of Presidents Franklin, Washington, Lincoln, and, uhhhh, Winston Churchill!”
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### Author:  [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)
#### Post date: [June 7, 2011, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-sarah-palins-next-history-lecture/584318/58 "2011-06-07T18:54:24Z")
> [@sh1bu1](#):
>
> Gettysburg:
>
> “When Lincoln stood here 47 years after the Civil War and talked to the folks, he thanked the founding fathers for giving us the liberty of rifles and ammo and stuff that allowed us to settle things peaceably. Because ya know, without that freedoms the war might have still been going on like those 100 years wars in Europe between the House of Hooters and the Antagonists.”
Sarah Palin would **never** say that.
She would have to have heard of the Hundred Years’ War first.
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### Author:  [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)
#### Post date: [June 7, 2011, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-sarah-palins-next-history-lecture/584318/59 "2011-06-07T19:03:47Z")
> [@Locrian](#):
>
> “So glad to be in NORTH dakota where the, uhhh, rains fell for years, uhhh, eventually carving out the faces of Presidents Franklin, Washington, Lincoln, and, uhhhh, Winston Churchill!”
Heathen.
The Theory of Erosion is just Darwinist propaganda.
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### Author:  [@OttoDaFe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OttoDaFe)
#### Post date: [June 7, 2011, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-sarah-palins-next-history-lecture/584318/60 "2011-06-07T23:54:10Z")
> [@tracer](#):
>
> > [@Locrian](#):
> >
> > “So glad to be in NORTH dakota where the, uhhh, rains fell for years, uhhh, eventually carving out the faces of Presidents Franklin, Washington, Lincoln, and, uhhhh, Winston Churchill!”
>
> Heathen.
>
> The Theory of Erosion is just Darwinist propaganda.
Yes, of course. But in this unique case, God directed each individual raindrop across the erosionary gaps in order to complete its sacred work. It’s a miracle!
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