Let’s stop pretending that the extensive list of certifications and acronyms that you asked for in your desktop support job description are actually a useful way of finding a qualified candidate. You wouldn’t know a LAN from a llama or a CCNA from CNN. Even if you did, it doesn’t matter, since this job really only requires two phrases: “Have you rebooted yet?” and “Let me get more toner for your printer”.
The real job is being able to keep my temper when I have to explain to Jim-Bob for the thousandth time this month that the printer is working fine, he just sent his print job to the other machine. I’m good at that. Hire me.
Sincerely and with a smile,
FlyByNight512
P.S. I also have the bonus skill of checking to make sure stuff is plugged in before declaring it broken.
(Okay, technical skills are slightly more important than that, but checking off lists of acronyms is really, really missing the point, especially at the support level. And I truly don’t mind explaining simple stuff, in fact it can be a fun challenge to try to put technical ideas into non-technical terms. If you’re pleasant and have at least the patience of a third grader, I like you.)
Hehe, off-topic, but one of my best moments as phone tech support for home computers was the fact that I got an 80 year old lady into her computer to reset the modem gasket that the company was having issues with. Didn’t have a model in front of me, had to trust what she was telling me regarding what she was seeing.
Not to one I was trying to work for, but I got an email about a position this same week. I did send an email more or less like this.
Dear Agent:
I take advantage of your letter to inform you that I’m currently unavailable. I’m working as a whatever for a company in Barcelona, N months contract.
You do not mention the final client for this position you’re offering, but if it’s Bad Client’s Name, I had an interview in person with them for the exact same position back in September; they said they’d pay for the trip but never did.
Best regards,
Nava
who kind of hopes those fucks manage to hire the worst vampires in the business, and God knows this business has more vampires than a blood bank.
As you noted, I have all of the qualifications needed for this position, have plenty of experience, know all of the important people in this industry by first name and have won many awards. I also have glowing references from co-workers, CEO’s and most political leaders in this state.
However, I happened to notice that every employee you have hired in the last 5 years is blonde, has big tits and was born after the Clinton Administration.
Thus, although I know I am the wrong age and gender for your stringent requirements, I just wanted to add that I also have friends in IT who have provided me with film footage from the Christmas parties in 2005, 2006, 2007 - plus audio tapes and copies of emails from 2008-2011, as well as the sealed documents regarding certain settlements you have made over the years to certain employees.
Oh, and did I mention that I am also on a first name basis with your wife’s best friend, Kathy? We go way back! I of course have not mentioned any of the things I have referenced above - no need to stir up marital hard feelings, wouldn’t you agree?
At any rate, I will be looking forward to signing that contract, and have decided that the upper pay scale we discussed will be quite fair. I assume that corner office with nothing but a couch could easily be converted into my own personal office, but we can discuss that when I arrive at work, bright and early Monday morning.
Again, thank you for this great opportunity to meet with you and I look forward to a long and profitable working relationship.