# Write the Tarantino Star Trek. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 8, 2017, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-the-tarantino-star-trek/803908 "2017-12-08T15:06:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![DorkVader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/73ab20/32.png) [@DorkVader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DorkVader)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2017, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-the-tarantino-star-trek/803908/21 "2017-12-08T17:36:31Z")
> [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > This is Tarentino we’re talking about. > > The word in question isn’t “Ferengi” or “Klingon”. It’s going to be the Queen Mother of Slurs, QT’s favorite word in the whole MFing offensive language lexicon, and it is going to get said 352 times, by everyone in the cast, including Uhura. Might even be in the title. > > And there’s a 50/50 chance the plot won’t make any sense, and it will just be an excuse to abuse the entire cast, and every character will be dead at the end, including Kirk & Spock. The movie will be 4 hours and 58 minutes and seem like 7 hours and 20 minutes. And the popcorn will taste like ass. yeah but it will be funny as hell, you’ll walk out of the theater laughing your ass off even as you think to yourself, “my brain is broken, why am I laughing, that movie, objectively speaking, was nowhere close to funny” ---
**Author:** ![Cardigan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardigan/32/187_2.png) [@Cardigan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardigan)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2017, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-the-tarantino-star-trek/803908/22 "2017-12-08T17:36:57Z")
hand to hand combat scenes WILL utilize the music from the original series (cheesy as ever) [![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/AphxyjrH4SE/hqdefault.jpg "Star Trek - Spock vs Kirk Battle Scene") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AphxyjrH4SE) ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2017, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-the-tarantino-star-trek/803908/23 "2017-12-08T17:58:00Z")
TBH, I wanted one of QTs remaining movies to be Sci-Fi. However, I am not sure an in canon Star Trek movie is the way to do it. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2017, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-the-tarantino-star-trek/803908/24 "2017-12-08T18:49:08Z")
> [@guestchaz](#): > > Dude! Machete! As! Pilot of the! ENTERPRISE! I would pay one hundred dollars to see this movie. “Machete don’t transport.” ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2017, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-the-tarantino-star-trek/803908/25 "2017-12-08T18:56:02Z")
> [@Quimby](#): > > You know what they call an earthworm on Ferenginar? > > A Royale with Sleeze. What do they call gagh? I dunno, I didn’t go to Q’onoS. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2017, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-the-tarantino-star-trek/803908/26 "2017-12-08T19:05:10Z")
“Set phasers to bloody splatter.” ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2017, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-the-tarantino-star-trek/803908/27 "2017-12-08T19:09:16Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > The Enterprise is going to have flames and skulls painted on it. Nope. “Space Pussy Wagon.” ---
**Author:** ![SykoSkotty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c0e974/32.png) [@SykoSkotty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SykoSkotty)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2017, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-the-tarantino-star-trek/803908/28 "2017-12-08T19:10:29Z")
I shudder at the thought of George Takei being directed by Tarantino… ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2017, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-the-tarantino-star-trek/803908/29 "2017-12-08T19:24:49Z")
> [@SykoSkotty](#): > > I shudder at the thought of George Takei being directed by Tarantino… Perfect username/post combo. A Tarentino Star Trek needs a psycho Scotty. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2017, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-the-tarantino-star-trek/803908/30 "2017-12-08T19:52:27Z")
Harvey Keitel would make a good Bones. ---
**Author:** ![DorkVader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/73ab20/32.png) [@DorkVader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DorkVader)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2017, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-the-tarantino-star-trek/803908/31 "2017-12-08T20:48:02Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > I would pay one hundred dollars to see this movie. > > “Machete don’t transport.” hmmm, Machete as Bones, I didn’t think about that, I was thinking more of a [Machete version](https://www.google.com/search?q=quentin+tarantino+machete&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjR9fbWo_vXAhUL9mMKHUGuDqYQ_AUICigB&biw=1280&bih=609#imgrc=R3cqiqVLXSGUlM:&spf=1512765782958) of Sulu as sword fighter ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2017, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-the-tarantino-star-trek/803908/32 "2017-12-08T21:12:13Z")
“This phaser… this phaser was on your daddy’s belt when he was shot down over Kronos. He was captured, put in a prison camp. He knew that if the Klingons saw the phaser it would be confiscated, taken away. The way your dad looked at it, this phaser was your birthright. He’d be damned if some big greasy knob-head would put their hands on his son’s birthright, so he hid it. So he hid it in the one place he knew he could hide something, his ass. For five long years, he hid this phaser up his ass…” ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2017, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-the-tarantino-star-trek/803908/33 "2017-12-08T22:25:16Z")
> [@buddha\_david](#): > > “This phaser… this phaser was on your daddy’s belt when he was shot down over Kronos. He was captured, put in a prison camp. He knew that if the Klingons saw the phaser it would be confiscated, taken away. The way your dad looked at it, this phaser was your birthright. He’d be damned if some big greasy knob-head would put their hands on his son’s birthright, so he hid it. So he hid it in the one place he knew he could hide something, his ass. For five long years, he hid this phaser up his ass…” Omigod yes. What would Christopher Walken be made up to look like? ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2017, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-the-tarantino-star-trek/803908/34 "2017-12-08T23:04:47Z")
> [@WordMan](#): > > Omigod yes. What would Christopher Walken be made up to look like? He has to the Captain; imagine him making log entries. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2017, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-the-tarantino-star-trek/803908/35 "2017-12-08T23:29:47Z")
> [@GreedySmurf](#): > > Oh man, I just phasered Marvin in the face… Not Marvin, Wesley. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2017, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-the-tarantino-star-trek/803908/36 "2017-12-08T23:40:33Z")
Samuel L. Jackson has to be in it if only to say, **"I have had it with these motherfuckin’ tribbles on this motherfuckin’ starship!"** Yeah, I know, not a Tarantino flick, but still, it would be pretty badass. ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2017, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-the-tarantino-star-trek/803908/37 "2017-12-08T23:50:50Z")
Transphasic torpedo, the best there is, when you absolutely, positively, got to kill every motherfucker in the cube, accept no substitutes. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2017, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-the-tarantino-star-trek/803908/38 "2017-12-09T00:14:12Z")
I think it could be interesting to do it kind of the opposite of _Pulp Fiction_. PF told multiple overlapping/interlocking stories, but because it told each story at a time it didn’t always show events in chronological order. He could do the reverse with _Star Trek_; have the characters moving backwards and forwards in time, but present the movie in chronological order. At the beginning of the movie, Spock interrupts Kirk as he’s walking through the corridors of the ship and engages in some idle chit chat. By the end of the movie we find that Spock had traveled back in time specifically to delay the Captain from getting where he was going, ordered by future Kirk to do so, in order to set some event in motion. As we see each character, they may be a future version of themselves acting on information that hasn’t been revealed to the audience yet. I don’t know if something like that would interest Tarantino, or if he could pull it off, but I like the idea. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2017, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-the-tarantino-star-trek/803908/39 "2017-12-09T00:18:55Z")
I want Picard to make a crack about how long it took him to shake off Riker and make the man take his own ship. Or how Riker was assigned to a run a salvage ship when Picard retired. ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2017, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-the-tarantino-star-trek/803908/40 "2017-12-09T03:05:16Z")
I was gonna make a joke regarding having Michael parks play ranger mcgraw, but then i looked him up and found he just died a few months ago. Now im bummed. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-the-tarantino-star-trek/803908.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-the-tarantino-star-trek/803908.md?page=3)