# Write Your Own Chick Tract-Part Deux-HAW!HAW!HAW! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 3, 2003, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-your-own-chick-tract-part-deux-haw-haw-haw/199404 "2003-09-03T21:07:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2003, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-your-own-chick-tract-part-deux-haw-haw-haw/199404/61 "2003-09-13T14:28:03Z")
that’s Semiramis, actually. And she has to be a diabolically hot middle-aged brunette (being the mother & wife of Nimrod) with a jewelled & horned headdress & an exposed midriff. See, I do know my Chickology! ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2003, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-your-own-chick-tract-part-deux-haw-haw-haw/199404/62 "2003-09-13T15:52:00Z")
What about you, **FriarTed**? ---
**Author:** ![Rube\_E.Tewesday](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f0a364/32.png) [@Rube\_E.Tewesday](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rube_E.Tewesday)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2003, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-your-own-chick-tract-part-deux-haw-haw-haw/199404/63 "2003-09-13T21:48:25Z")
Yeah, **Friar Ted** , you seem to have the right stuff. I’m out, I don’t think I have a King James bible any place handy, and nothing else will do, of course. I am looking forward to seeing this wrapped up and drawn. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2003, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-your-own-chick-tract-part-deux-haw-haw-haw/199404/64 "2003-09-13T22:39:27Z")
For anyone who might wish to wrap this up, and who doesn’t have a King James bible, here you go. [http://etext.lib.virginia.edu/kjv.browse.html](http://etext.lib.virginia.edu/kjv.browse.html) ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2003, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-your-own-chick-tract-part-deux-haw-haw-haw/199404/65 "2003-09-13T23:22:45Z")
**Panel 22** Bob and co are now being raised up in the Rapture. In the distance they can see an angel riding upon a dragon. The dragon is bound with chains and the angel has a large key hanging from a chain around his neck. **Bob** : The tribulation is coming. Satan will be bound for a thousand years but he will be back for the final battle.\* It’s going to get a lot worse for those LEFT BEHIND…and for some of them…it will never get better. An ugly war is coming. Will you be on GOD’S side? \*And I saw an angel come down from heaven, having the key of the bottomless pit and a great chain in his hand. And he laid hold on the dragon, that old serpent, which is the Devil, and Satan, and bound him a thousand years, And cast him into the bottomless pit, and shut him up, and set a seal upon him, that he should deceive the nations no more, till the thousand years should be fulfilled: and after that he must be loosed a little season. ( **Revelation 20:1-3** ) CHOOSE SIDES NOW, IT’S THE MOST IMPORTANT CHOICE YOU’LL EVER MAKE! CHECK ONE: 1.) I choose to accept the Lord, Jesus Christ as my Savior and to enter into his army as a foot soldier for God. 2.) I choose to fight on the side of Satan and his unholy Roman Church. WHOSE SIDE ARE **YOU** ON? ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2003, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-your-own-chick-tract-part-deux-haw-haw-haw/199404/66 "2003-09-13T23:46:18Z")
**WILD APPLAUSE!** **Diogenes** , that was _perfect!_ Your Chick talent far exceeds mine! It will make a fantastic graphic for **SPOOFE** when he does the art. What do you think, gentle readers? I think this one would pass for the work of Jack himself, don’t you? ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2003, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-your-own-chick-tract-part-deux-haw-haw-haw/199404/67 "2003-09-14T01:52:13Z")
If anyone has any ideas we can maybe do another one. Maybe we could do something with the Ten Commandments in the court house thing? We could do it with a fictional judge and courthouse. We could concoct a brave young “attorney” for the pro-God side who could give an impassioned and totally fallacious argument in front of the Supreme Court…followed by mass conversions by the justices (except for the lone and nasty liberal dissenter, of course). We could also tie it in with school prayer and the Pledge of Allegiance, maybe by having children giving defiant and spontaneous mass prayers and/or chanting the Pledge in schools. Any other ideas? I seem to remeber kicking around a hip-hop idea a while back. Did we ever do that one? How about Madonna kissing Brittany? I’m sure that would give “Bob” an aneurysm…and an erection if he wasn’t so obviously gay. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2003, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-your-own-chick-tract-part-deux-haw-haw-haw/199404/68 "2003-09-14T02:44:10Z")
Oh, I hadn’t thought of tying it all in together! I like it. We’d need a title though. **Against the Law!** or **His Name in Vain!** or **Righteousness on Trial!** ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2003, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-your-own-chick-tract-part-deux-haw-haw-haw/199404/69 "2003-09-14T03:16:51Z")
**JUDGEMENT DAY!** ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2003, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-your-own-chick-tract-part-deux-haw-haw-haw/199404/70 "2003-09-14T03:49:17Z")
Even better, Diogenes. ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2003, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-your-own-chick-tract-part-deux-haw-haw-haw/199404/71 "2003-09-16T07:21:41Z")
Ohhhhh! I thought the last panel was gonna be a total parody, but yeah, this is Chick quality EXCEPT for a theological glitch in the last panel. Satan’s chaining occurs at the end of the Tribulation. A better visual would be, as Bob & pals are Raptured, the Archangel Michael is shown casting the Dragon from Heaven… Bob: The tribulation is coming. Satan is being cast from Heaven to release his full rage on Earth.\* It’s going to get a lot worse for those LEFT BEHIND…and for some of them…it will never get better. An ugly war is coming. Will you be on GOD’S side? \*Revelation 12:12. Therefore rejoice, ye heavens, and ye that dwell in them. Woe to the inhabiters of the earth and of the sea! for the devil is come down unto you, having great wrath, because he knoweth that he hath but a short time. Otherwise, Diogenes, Genius! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-your-own-chick-tract-part-deux-haw-haw-haw/199404.md?page=3)