# Write your own epitaph. Silly versions only, please. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 16, 2011, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-your-own-epitaph-silly-versions-only-please/592859 "2011-08-16T02:25:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2011, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-your-own-epitaph-silly-versions-only-please/592859/101 "2011-08-18T20:45:13Z")
> [@Lare](#): > > There are other message boards??? Totally. I’d die to post in one. ---
**Author:** ![Greg\_Charles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/839c29/32.png) [@Greg\_Charles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greg_Charles)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2011, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-your-own-epitaph-silly-versions-only-please/592859/102 "2011-08-18T23:47:07Z")
> [@punch\_line\_loser](#): > > I told myself that > Before I died I would write > One damn haiku. That last line only has four syllables. Is that a meta joke? If so, then bravo sir! ---
**Author:** ![keeganst94](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a6a055/32.png) [@keeganst94](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/keeganst94)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2011, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-your-own-epitaph-silly-versions-only-please/592859/103 "2011-08-19T02:21:23Z")
There’s a reason why they had to bury me six feet under, Ladies. ---
**Author:** ![pohjonen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pohjonen/32/423_2.png) [@pohjonen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pohjonen)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2011, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-your-own-epitaph-silly-versions-only-please/592859/104 "2011-08-19T02:58:22Z")
Pohjonen’s body lies under this stone… This spot’s taken, go find your own. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2011, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-your-own-epitaph-silly-versions-only-please/592859/105 "2011-08-19T03:01:54Z")
After the dates, and beloveds (friend, uncle, etc) I want **Naked On The Internet** ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2011, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-your-own-epitaph-silly-versions-only-please/592859/106 "2011-08-19T12:54:41Z")
> [@keeganst94](#): > > There’s a reason why they had to bury me six feet under, Ladies. Lucky stiff! ---
**Author:** ![Full\_Metal\_Lotus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df705f/32.png) [@Full\_Metal\_Lotus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Full_Metal_Lotus)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2011, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-your-own-epitaph-silly-versions-only-please/592859/107 "2011-08-19T21:34:15Z")
Here Lies Full Metal Lotus Feel free to rememember the man Under Your Feet, and with Care, see that you, and presidents and Kings, will someday join him. That life is fleeting, and moments However many you shall have, shall someday End. Let your thoughts not go to regret, Instead, live your life to its Very fullest, wring from each second all It can give annd then twist a little more. Never miss an opportunity to smile, hug, dance, make love, enjoy a Good meal. Live, Live Live! This momement is your gift, tear it open and ENJOY! ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2011, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-your-own-epitaph-silly-versions-only-please/592859/108 "2011-08-19T22:52:49Z")
Here lies Knorf. What an asshole. We’re glad he’s gone. Too bad civic law didn’t permit us to just dump his carcass in the landfill. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2011, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-your-own-epitaph-silly-versions-only-please/592859/109 "2011-08-20T00:09:15Z")
Look upon my works, ye mighty, and despair! ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2011, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-your-own-epitaph-silly-versions-only-please/592859/110 "2011-08-20T15:17:36Z")
Anonymous Grave No. 14 ---
**Author:** ![DorkVader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/73ab20/32.png) [@DorkVader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DorkVader)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2011, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-your-own-epitaph-silly-versions-only-please/592859/111 "2011-08-20T23:35:55Z")
Under ME ---
**Author:** ![loshan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ce73a5/32.png) [@loshan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/loshan)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2011, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-your-own-epitaph-silly-versions-only-please/592859/112 "2011-08-21T00:17:37Z")
Gone to Walmart ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2011, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-your-own-epitaph-silly-versions-only-please/592859/113 "2011-08-21T00:25:59Z")
Doc Cathode Misplaced The Decimal Point ---
**Author:** ![banjoDavid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3d9bf3/32.png) [@banjoDavid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/banjoDavid)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2011, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-your-own-epitaph-silly-versions-only-please/592859/114 "2011-08-21T02:14:21Z")
I know what I want my last words to be OH, SHIT David ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2011, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-your-own-epitaph-silly-versions-only-please/592859/115 "2011-08-21T19:48:58Z")
So _that’s_ what the red button does. Or just - Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2011, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-your-own-epitaph-silly-versions-only-please/592859/116 "2011-08-21T19:58:03Z")
Finally it’s quiet. It’s dead around here at night. ---
**Author:** ![4d3fect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/4d3fect/32/9728_2.png) [@4d3fect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/4d3fect)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2011, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-your-own-epitaph-silly-versions-only-please/592859/117 "2011-08-23T00:26:20Z")
What happens if I push this button? ---
**Author:** ![Gleena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b3f665/32.png) [@Gleena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gleena)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2011, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-your-own-epitaph-silly-versions-only-please/592859/118 "2011-08-23T00:48:08Z")
Gleena has failed to run Abort? Retry? Ignore? Gleena You can’t steal this body. R v Kelly and Lindsay [1998] EWCA Crim 1578 ---
**Author:** ![Apollyon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/apollyon/32/4238_2.png) [@Apollyon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apollyon)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2011, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-your-own-epitaph-silly-versions-only-please/592859/119 "2011-08-23T01:27:22Z")
(Because I like the original…) Apollyon Accidentally shot by his valet “Well done, thou good and faithful servant” ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2011, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-your-own-epitaph-silly-versions-only-please/592859/120 "2011-08-23T03:05:56Z")
> [@Full\_Metal\_Lotus](#): > > Here Lies Full Metal Lotus > > Feel free to rememember the man > Under Your Feet, and with > Care, see that you, and presidents and > Kings, will someday join him. > > That life is fleeting, and moments > However many you shall have, shall someday > End. > > Let your thoughts not go to regret, > Instead, live your life to its > Very fullest, wring from each second all > It can give annd then twist a little more. > Never miss an opportunity to smile, hug, dance, make love, enjoy a > Good meal. Live, Live Live! This momement is your gift, tear it open and ENJOY! Do you know [this guy](http://snopes.com/photos/signs/headstone.asp), by any chance? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-your-own-epitaph-silly-versions-only-please/592859.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-your-own-epitaph-silly-versions-only-please/592859.md?page=7)