# Write your own euphemism

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-your-own-euphemism/266488>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [September 28, 2004, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-your-own-euphemism/266488 "2004-09-28T15:00:35Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 5\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![alterego](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6bbea6/32.png) [@alterego](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alterego)\
**Post date:** [September 28, 2004, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-your-own-euphemism/266488/1 "2004-09-28T15:00:35Z")

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A friend and I were giggling over Hera’s “marvelous ankles” in The Iliad and thought it would be fun to write our own euphemisms, so here we go :

```php

Sleuth-eyed Brian,

               man of many places.

                              Ruffian that he is.

He must be spanghew'd twice at dawn.

                        Off with my head!

                                         Arrrgh!

```

If it helps Webster says this is what one is:

> [@](#):
>
> the substitution of an agreeable or inoffensive expression for one that may offend or suggest something unpleasant; also : the expression so substituted

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**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\
**Post date:** [September 28, 2004, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-your-own-euphemism/266488/2 "2004-09-28T15:14:49Z")

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Usually I’m full of them, but now on the spot, I can’t come up with anything.

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![alterego](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6bbea6/32.png) [@alterego](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alterego)\
**Post date:** [September 28, 2004, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-your-own-euphemism/266488/3 "2004-09-28T15:40:45Z")

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> [@World Eater](#):
>
> Usually I’m full of them, but now on the spot, I can’t come up with anything.

World Eater, eater of words, eater of worlds! Hero eater, eat your own words and regurgitate!

:smack:

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**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\
**Post date:** [September 28, 2004, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-your-own-euphemism/266488/4 "2004-09-28T15:48:06Z")

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How about the whole Biblical “He went unto her and he _knew_ her” bit?

_Knew_ her - heh heh…

This thread also reminds me of the Letterman Top 10 list of “Phrases that sound sexual, but aren’t.” Tried to find via Google, but couldn’t. The two I remember were “jumping the turnstile” and “tethering the blimp.”

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![alterego](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6bbea6/32.png) [@alterego](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alterego)\
**Post date:** [September 28, 2004, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-your-own-euphemism/266488/5 "2004-09-28T15:53:26Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> [Top Ten Little-Used Euphemisms For Sex](http://www.cbs.com/latenight/lateshow/top_ten/archive/ls_topten_archive1998/ls_topten_archive_19980805.shtml)
> 
> 1. Sinking the Titanic
> 
> 2. Team pushups
> 
> 3. Winning Powerball
> 
> 4. “You’ve got male”
> 
> 5. Saving Ryan’s privates
> 
> 6. Puffing the daddy
> 
> 7. Giving the one-gun salute
> 
> 8. Penning your Teller
> 
> 9. WWW-ing until you dot com
> 
> 10. Engaging in sexual intercourse

hehe