# Write your own Onion headline

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-your-own-onion-headline/526919>\
**Category:** Cafe Society\
**Created:** [January 29, 2010, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-your-own-onion-headline/526919 "2010-01-29T17:50:44Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 4\
**Page:** 9

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**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\
**Post date:** [December 26, 2011, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-your-own-onion-headline/526919/161 "2011-12-26T19:25:55Z")

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**God writes angry rebuttal to National Review article**  
In another rebuke to the Tea Party, the Almighty himself penned an editorial Thursday to the group’s stance on the payroll tax cut

**Satan nervous, excited, preparing for upcoming Fred Phelps funeral**  
“The guy’s just so evil, you know?”, says the devil. “I only hope I can live up to the torture he must already be experiencing mentally.”  
\*\*  
Area man already putting up 2012 Christmas decorations\*\*  
“Why fight it?” sighs exasperated man, lugging a 20lb Santa up to the roof where it will join 2013’s Rudolph and 2014’s Santa’s Village already under construction

**Little known Mayan predictions escapes public’s notice amidst approaching Apocalypse**  
Among the items archaeologists recently discovered: the end of PETA will occur on August 19, 2015, the last wife of Larry King will be born in 2025, and apparently Wisconsin won’t survive to the next century

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**Author:** ![SiXSwordS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/49beb7/32.png) [@SiXSwordS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SiXSwordS)\
**Post date:** [November 22, 2013, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-your-own-onion-headline/526919/162 "2013-11-22T22:45:18Z")

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[caption below NFL jersey wearing man drinking beer in front of big screen TV displaying a football game with a score of 28 to 3]  
**Thousands Implicated in Entertainment Enhancing Drug Use Investigation**  
Scandal My Envelop Entire NFL

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**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\
**Post date:** [November 25, 2013, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-your-own-onion-headline/526919/163 "2013-11-25T17:06:55Z")

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**Yes, BUT: Hawaii was Never Legally a U.S. State**

So it doesn’t really matter that he was really born there.

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**Author:** ![Agent\_Foxtrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc29f/32.png) [@Agent\_Foxtrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agent_Foxtrot)\
**Post date:** [November 25, 2013, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/write-your-own-onion-headline/526919/164 "2013-11-25T20:35:30Z")

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\*\*Obama Lets LeBron Win Pick-Up Basketball Game

New Studies Show School Lunches No Longer Composed of Food

Biden to Drum for Poison During Rikki Rockett Extended Illness

Inert Flesh of John McCain Scheduled to Quiver Angrily This Week\*\*

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