# Writing to a prisoner **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 21, 2015, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/writing-to-a-prisoner/741043 "2015-12-21T23:57:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2015, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/writing-to-a-prisoner/741043/21 "2015-12-22T18:45:38Z")
> [@queenoftarts](#): > > I’m not the most photogenic person but I get hit on pretty often and I think the pictures were attractive enough for him to write back…but now my feelings are hurt he didn’t write back he must have thought the photos were not attractive 😕:mad:: The dude’s in prison, but by all means, let’s make this **all about YOU**. :rolleyes: Wait… are we supposed to ask to see the pics?!.. ---
**Author:** ![queenoftarts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/c37758/32.png) [@queenoftarts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/queenoftarts)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2015, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/writing-to-a-prisoner/741043/22 "2015-12-22T19:11:30Z")
Shagnasty, Im not writing an essay, I dont need to form perfect sentences. Also, there is no bizarre logic in sending four photos, just thought he might want more than one. I dont know why it concerns you so much why I sent photos, again lack of comprehension I suppose… I had a couple guy friends that were in prison in the past, and they mentioned they loved receiving photos from ladies. The guy is surrounded by men all day, just thought he might like some photos, plain and simple. You make it complicated like its some mysterious thing. Please do not message me further as your only purpose is to attack my character and enjoy being rude and insulting. ---
**Author:** ![queenoftarts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/c37758/32.png) [@queenoftarts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/queenoftarts)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2015, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/writing-to-a-prisoner/741043/23 "2015-12-22T19:30:28Z")
Quicksilver, If it was all about me there are other ways I could achieve making things all about me. I reached out to this political prisoner and was just looking forward to receiving a return letter. Don’t know why you feel the need to be so rude and sarcastic. Maybe I was being too sensitive and looking over my letter maybe I should have reworded my letter and I could see why you felt the need to make that comment to me. Some certain experiences in life might make people react certain ways other people may perceive as being self centered as you have basically implied me to be. Have a happy holiday 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2015, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/writing-to-a-prisoner/741043/24 "2015-12-22T20:09:19Z")
> [@queenoftarts](#): > > Im not writing an essay, I dont need to form perfect sentences. Round here, it helps. If you looks around the message board, you’ll find that most of us write pretty decent English. (Except, of course, the English. It’s like it’s a different language or something.) And, if the prisoner you are writing to does not have English as a first language, writing in (more or less) perfect sentences will make it much easier for him to understand. You said your feelings are hurt. You’re looking for an answer that you can use as a reason to not have hurt feelings. What is that about, if not you? Should you write another political prisoner, I’d suggest a much shorter letter that is not all about the things in your life. Express some interest in his life, in his situation. Don’t send a photo unless asked for one. You may or may not be weird, but I’d be willing to bet that the impression this poor guy received is that you are weird. And, lastly, why are you writing to us instead of Dear Abby? ---
**Author:** ![Penfeather](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penfeather/32/384_2.png) [@Penfeather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penfeather)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2015, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/writing-to-a-prisoner/741043/25 "2015-12-22T20:25:00Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > You realize those emails are spam, right? Or restraining orders. ---
**Author:** ![Emiliana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@Emiliana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emiliana)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2015, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/writing-to-a-prisoner/741043/26 "2015-12-22T20:36:27Z")
> [@queenoftarts](#): > > Shagnasty, > > Im not writing an essay, I dont need to form perfect sentences. Also, there is no bizarre logic in sending four photos, just thought he might want more than one. I dont know why it concerns you so much why I sent photos, again lack of comprehension I suppose… I had a couple guy friends that were in prison in the past, and they mentioned they loved receiving photos from ladies. The guy is surrounded by men all day, just thought he might like some photos, plain and simple. You make it complicated like its some mysterious thing. Please do not message me further as your only purpose is to attack my character and enjoy being rude and insulting. If you are referring to Shagnasty’s posts in this thread, he isn’t messaging you. This is a board. You’re posting publicly. Anyone can respond to you in any way they please as long as they conform to the rules of the forum. Now if he starts to send you lots of unsolicited private messages, that’s a problem. There’s no need to respond to an unsolicited communication, if you follow my drift. ---
**Author:** ![queenoftarts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/c37758/32.png) [@queenoftarts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/queenoftarts)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2015, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/writing-to-a-prisoner/741043/27 "2015-12-22T21:28:41Z")
Frank, I meant perfect sentences as if I am being under scrutiny of an English professor picking apart any little detail. I write grammar perfectly well enough, thank you. Cant believe the level of sarcasm and rudeness on this website from you and other individuals. Why don’t I write to Dear Abby? Who are you to tell me where I can write, I can write wherever I like. There are so many random things people have written on this board its alarming you would write such a thing. ---
**Author:** ![queenoftarts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/c37758/32.png) [@queenoftarts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/queenoftarts)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2015, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/writing-to-a-prisoner/741043/28 "2015-12-22T21:30:40Z")
Emiliana, Someone under username shagnasty keeps responding so dont know what you mean. For example, every time I respond to someone under this username its me each time. ---
**Author:** ![Duckster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duckster/32/1244_2.png) [@Duckster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duckster)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2015, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/writing-to-a-prisoner/741043/29 "2015-12-22T21:35:24Z")
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**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2015, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/writing-to-a-prisoner/741043/30 "2015-12-22T21:57:35Z")
> [@queenoftarts](#): > > Shagnasty, > Im concerned about your comprehension skills. Since when has writing someone ONE single letter offering support corecing or forcing someone into a relationship??? I never said I wanted a relationship with this person and I wouldnt force someone to be a pen pal either. Nothing creepy about offering someone support who is suffering and wrongly imprisoned. Why does “offering support” include sending pictures of yourself and then wondering if that person finds you attractive? ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2015, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/writing-to-a-prisoner/741043/31 "2015-12-22T22:18:19Z")
If **queenoftarts** (love the username) had sent money and the prisoner didn’t respond, then it would be a good indication the letter never reached him. I can’t imagine an inmate who wouldn’t want to at least keep up a token relationship with a woman who was providing financial support, even if he had a stable of other female admirers who were better-looking. > [@Omar Little](#): > > What % of heterosexual women in the US send pen pal mail to male inmates in the US? > > I would suspect it to be fairly low, but seems like high profile inmates like Charles Manson and their pen pals are publicized. I think that’s the key - getting a lot of publicity seems to attract a certain species of woman (and to a much lesser extent, men)\* who is lonely, finds being behind bars hot and thinks the level of prisoner desperation ensures some kind of relationship. Sometimes these “relationships” result in marriage which never gets consummated, but it doesn’t matter because of the gratification of the pseudo-relationship and the reflected publicity. I find it sick beyond belief when serial killers or [other notorious murderers](http://www.fayobserver.com/news/local/former-military-doctor-jeffrey-macdonald-serving-a-life-sentence-for/article_8b681cd6-191a-5cd0-b7bf-1285e4fb5226.html) attract this sort of attention, but it apparently fulfills a need, so my blech factor doesn’t matter. I am curious where **queenoftarts** ’s would-be pen pal resides. If it’s Mumia Abu-Jamal, he probably already has all the female attention he can handle. \*this may be more common than I assumed. There was a dust-up in Missouri when authorities found out that 33 female state prison inmates were making good money (over $291,000) offering themselves as [“sexy pen pals”](https://www.prisonlegalnews.org/news/2006/oct/15/female-missouri-prisoners-make-291000-as-sexy-pen-pals-ag-wants-his-cut/) to men on the outside. The Attorney General, party pooper that he was, stopped the practice. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2015, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/writing-to-a-prisoner/741043/32 "2015-12-23T01:01:13Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > What % of heterosexual women in the US send pen pal mail to male inmates in the US? > > I would suspect it to be fairly low, but seems like high profile inmates like Charles Manson and their pen pals are publicized. > > I also highly doubt the OP’s assertion that she isn’t trying to strike up a relationship giving her comments about the hotness of her photos. > > Seriously, what makes inmates attractive to certain women? You’d be surprised. There are quite a number of “serial killer groupies”. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2015, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/writing-to-a-prisoner/741043/33 "2015-12-23T02:52:30Z")
> [@queenoftarts](#): > > Frank, > > I meant perfect sentences as if I am being under scrutiny of an English professor picking apart any little detail. . . . . Welcome to the Straight Dope Message Board. Picking apart little details is what we do here. If you were expecting anything else, you haven’t checked us out properly. None of us are messaging you. We’re responding to a thread that you started. The thread is community property (although you have some steering rights as the Original Poster) and you’ll find that we’re mostly responding to each other and to anyone that might read the thread in the future. The comment about Dear Abby was a hint that you might want to be somewhere that does not pick apart every little detail. That’s not here. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2015, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/writing-to-a-prisoner/741043/34 "2015-12-23T16:29:41Z")
As a general rule, if one wants to determine the true focus of a communication they only need to count the references. In the case of the OP there are, at quick count, 22 references to I/me/my and 19 to he/him/his. The preponderance of evidence then indicates that he writer is the main focus. Couple that with the fact that the “reasons” postulated that the letter went unanswered were both the writer’s projections of their thoughts onto the receiver (as opposed to “lost in mail”, “has not yet received due to prison bureaucracy”, “does not reply to any personal letter”, etc.) and it becomes more clear where the focus lies. I’m don’t intend to bash you, **queenoftarts** , but just to show you that the reactions of the various posters above are not at all illogical. Go back and count the references in your 4 page letter and you may find another reason he has not yet responded. It’s all about the focus. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2015, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/writing-to-a-prisoner/741043/35 "2015-12-23T18:22:43Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > It doesn’t matter why the prisoner thinks he was jailed. It matters what the law is. In the US we don’t jail people for their political beliefs (Nowadays. I’m sure someone will find a historical reference.) Under several definitions, the Gitmo detainees or Bradley Manning would qualify. Plus, while we don’t have any “classic” political prisoners - those who have been imprisoned based on their beliefs alone, independent of any crime - Eugene Debs would have qualified. > [@Emiliana](#): > > There’s no need to respond to an unsolicited communication, if you follow my drift. I see what you did there. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2015, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/writing-to-a-prisoner/741043/36 "2015-12-28T19:44:29Z")
> [@Yllaria](#): > > Welcome to the Straight Dope Message Board. Picking apart little details is what we do here. If you were expecting anything else, you haven’t checked us out properly… The comment about Dear Abby was a hint that you might want to be somewhere that does not pick apart every little detail. That’s not here. Yes, that is what makes this place “fun”, ---
**Author:** ![AngelSoft](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/angelsoft/32/440_2.png) [@AngelSoft](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelSoft)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2015, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/writing-to-a-prisoner/741043/37 "2015-12-28T20:12:53Z")
Ok this has absolutely nothing to do with the OP at all but I can’t be the only person who read her username as queenoffarts, can I? I mean I was actually disappointed to see that T. ---
**Author:** ![psychobunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/54ee81/32.png) [@psychobunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psychobunny)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2015, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/writing-to-a-prisoner/741043/38 "2015-12-29T03:46:07Z")
Wait-the OP sends a letter that > [@](#): > > clearly stated that if he didnt wish to write back thats ok and I wished him the best. then gets upset when he didn’t write back. Maybe don’t put something in a letter you don’t mean. ---
**Author:** ![Dag\_Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@Dag\_Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dag_Otto)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2015, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/writing-to-a-prisoner/741043/39 "2015-12-29T04:09:37Z")
Or put in stamps and envelopes. Political prisoners can’t exactly pop out to Staples on a whim. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/writing-to-a-prisoner/741043.md?page=1)