# Wrong things you thought when you were young **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 23, 2022, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wrong-things-you-thought-when-you-were-young/964952 "2022-05-23T19:08:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![naita](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/naita/32/5862_2.png) [@naita](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/naita)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2022, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wrong-things-you-thought-when-you-were-young/964952/81 "2022-05-31T19:30:25Z")
I told my cousins minnow were baby trout and was convinced my dad had told me so. He was adamant he never had and I was really annoyed my cousins were right. ---
**Author:** ![Mallard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Mallard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mallard)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2022, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wrong-things-you-thought-when-you-were-young/964952/82 "2022-05-31T23:00:56Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > Even though the whole point of the Bing Crosby song was that it wasn’t snowing on Christmas. At least, not in Beverly Hills, LA. I’m in western Canada where we dream about being those fortunate souls who dream about a white Christmas. 😆 ---
**Author:** ![Mallard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Mallard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mallard)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2022, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wrong-things-you-thought-when-you-were-young/964952/83 "2022-05-31T23:58:11Z")
> [@2\_More\_Bits](#): > > **I thought sex was something only boys/ men desired.** Smart kid! ---
**Author:** ![WildaBeast](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wildabeast/32/6_2.png) [@WildaBeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WildaBeast)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2022, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wrong-things-you-thought-when-you-were-young/964952/84 "2022-06-08T02:23:40Z")
I thought those giant novelty checks that Publisher’s Clearinghouse showed in their ads were real checks. I thought the winners had to carry that giant check down to the bank to deposit their winnings. ---
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2022, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wrong-things-you-thought-when-you-were-young/964952/85 "2022-06-08T12:34:55Z")
When I was little and would be riding in a car at night I always hoped we would go far enough to catch up to the moon and be directly underneath it. I was always frustrated that we never did. When my mother got pregnant with my younger brother, and later with my sister, her explanation of how the baby got inside her was “Papa loved mama real close”. After that whenever I saw a man and woman hugging or slow dancing I assumed the woman was going to have a baby soon because of it. ---
**Author:** ![Andy\_L](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c67d28/32.png) [@Andy\_L](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Andy_L)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2022, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wrong-things-you-thought-when-you-were-young/964952/86 "2022-06-08T12:41:16Z")
Are you Happy Gilmore? ---
**Author:** ![commasense](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/commasense/32/3017_2.png) [@commasense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/commasense)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2022, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wrong-things-you-thought-when-you-were-young/964952/87 "2022-06-08T14:42:12Z")
> [@Bonum\_Legatum](#): > > “When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one , I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.”–Mark Twain This has long been one of my favorite quotes, but sadly, it’s not from Twain, whose father died when Twain was 11. [https://quoteinvestigator.com/2010/10/10/twain-father/](https://quoteinvestigator.com/2010/10/10/twain-father/) ---
**Author:** ![LegendHasit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/legendhasit/32/8246_2.png) [@LegendHasit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LegendHasit)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2022, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wrong-things-you-thought-when-you-were-young/964952/88 "2022-06-09T02:31:56Z")
That the stars were only out at night. (Well, if you can’t see 'em…) ---
**Author:** ![scudsucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scudsucker/32/14101_2.png) [@scudsucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scudsucker)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2022, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wrong-things-you-thought-when-you-were-young/964952/89 "2022-06-09T03:08:29Z")
This is somewhat opposite of the premise of the thread, but… Before I had children, I planned to subtly salt their knowledge with bullshit ideas to see what stuck, and for how long. Nothing too serious, just random facts that were completely incorrect. Since having children, I have done a complete about turn on that. When my son was about 3, I taught him what a coprolite\* was. He talked about it for a few days, and then never mentioned it again until a few months ago, when he asked me if a particular (random) stone was a coprolite. He’s almost 5 now, so that word and concept has stuck with him for 60% of his life. Now, instead of wanting to feed him incorrect “facts” I am far more fascinated with telling him real facts, and seeing what sticks. - what’s not to love about coprolites for a young boy? They hit the trifecta of fossils, dinosaurs and poo, all of which are fascinating to little boys. ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Mouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mighty_mouse/32/7776_2.png) [@Mighty\_Mouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Mouse)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2022, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wrong-things-you-thought-when-you-were-young/964952/90 "2022-06-09T03:56:06Z")
> [@scudsucker](#): > > Since having children, I have done a complete about turn on that. When my son was about 3, I taught him what a coprolite\* was. He talked about it for a few days, and then never mentioned it again until a few months ago, when he asked me if a particular (random) stone was a coprolite. He’s almost 5 now, so that word and concept has stuck with him for 60% of his life. I suggest your co-parent handle teaching the arithmetic. ---
**Author:** ![Bayarea4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Bayarea4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bayarea4)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2022, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wrong-things-you-thought-when-you-were-young/964952/91 "2022-06-09T04:31:43Z")
When I was about six, I accidentally spied a grown man, a friend of the family, when he was peeing and left the bathroom door ajar . From that brief glimpse, I noticed something large hanging down behind his penis. It didn’t look anything like what my nine-year-old brother had, so I decided that it was a second penis that all adult men grew. This will date me, but I thought Sid Caesar and Imogene Coca were married, and I was disappointed to learn that they weren’t. I used to wonder who “Pat. Pending” was, why they used a period after their first name and why their name was on so many products. I watched so many World War II movies on TV with my older brother that whenever I heard an airplane overhead, I was terrified, thinking that the Germans or the Japanese were about to bomb us. It turned out that we lived near a Naval air base. There was a shampoo called Wash ‘N’ Curl that was advertised on television. It featured women and girls with beautiful curly hair. I begged for a bottle, thinking that it would turn my straight hair curly just like in the TV ads. My 10-year-old self was so disappointed when it didn’t work. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2022, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wrong-things-you-thought-when-you-were-young/964952/92 "2022-06-09T04:36:59Z")
> [@Bayarea4](#): > > I used to wonder who “Pat. Pending” was, why they used a period after their first name and why their name was on so many products. I was further confused about this when I was a kid, because “Professor Pat Pending” (clearly a pun based on “Pat. Pending,” though I didn’t know that at the time) was a character in the 1960s Saturday-morning cartoon _Wacky Races_. [![](https://images.fineartamerica.com/images/artworkimages/mediumlarge/3/wacky-races-profpat-pending-and-his-convert-a-car-glen-evans.jpg) ](https://images.fineartamerica.com/images/artworkimages/mediumlarge/3/wacky-races-profpat-pending-and-his-convert-a-car-glen-evans.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2022, 10:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wrong-things-you-thought-when-you-were-young/964952/93 "2022-06-09T10:15:59Z")
When my kids were little I’d peel clementines for them. I’d always be careful to remove the skin in one piece for some reason, and I told them if the skin didn’t come off in one piece it meant the clementine was bad and shouldn’t be eaten. Fast forward 24 years, my daughter for some reason truly believed this and was surprised to learn that it was just a joke. ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2022, 10:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wrong-things-you-thought-when-you-were-young/964952/94 "2022-06-09T10:37:56Z")
> [@scudsucker](#): > > Before I had children, I planned to subtly salt their knowledge with bullshit ideas to see what stuck, and for how long. Nothing too serious, just random facts that were completely incorrect. Woulda been a great opportunity to share this thread with your son: > [@99 little know facts about the founding of the USA](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/99-little-know-facts-about-the-founding-of-the-usa/587604): > > As we (the greatest people on earth, you know who you are) celebrate our nation’s birth this weekend with traditions dating back to the 1300s, I offer up some little-known tid-bits about the men (and pretty ladies) who helped found our awesome country. Take some time to ponder them and stuff. And if you have some more to add, add them and we will ponder them too. -The original Declaration included the words “phlegm,” “corpulant,” and “dangle.” -Founding father Dirk Fink written out of history … ---
**Author:** ![Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/q.q.switcheroo/32/5713_2.png) [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.Q.Switcheroo)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2022, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wrong-things-you-thought-when-you-were-young/964952/95 "2022-06-09T15:36:46Z")
I saw this poster for “The Santa Clause”: [![](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DsIghaZWkAAwZM_.jpg) ](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DsIghaZWkAAwZM_.jpg) and thought the character’s transformation into Santa Claus somehow involved having his pelvic region rotated 180 degrees so his butt was in front. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wrong-things-you-thought-when-you-were-young/964952.md?page=4)