# WTF? Don't touch my baby without asking! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 30, 2005, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-dont-touch-my-baby-without-asking/310494 "2005-06-30T12:19:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2005, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-dont-touch-my-baby-without-asking/310494/21 "2005-06-30T13:48:42Z")
( **Askia** , I know you’ve probably heard this 100 times, but let’s make it 101 - You were a male kindergarten teacher? That’s so awesome! We need more of those!) > [@chatelaine](#): > > [guilty] > Now I’m going to sit and wonder how many premature infants I infected with something or other just because the little piggies were so cute. > [/guilty] Oh, and now I’m going to sit here and feel guilty for making you feel guilty… Should we have a guilty party? 😃 Seriously, I’m just as enamored of baby toes. And baby toes are probably not the worst thing to touch. I do ask Mammas if it’s OK first, but I am just as guilty of touching stranger baby toes. But do stay away from their hands and faces - that’s where most germs get in. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2005, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-dont-touch-my-baby-without-asking/310494/22 "2005-06-30T13:50:25Z")
**elanorigby** , great tip on the wipes! I gave her a bath as soon as I got home, but I never thought of using the wipes I had with me. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2005, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-dont-touch-my-baby-without-asking/310494/23 "2005-06-30T14:06:30Z")
There are also cultural connections to this in old school hispanic groups. IIRC is is seen as some kind of bad mojo NOT to touch the baby. I don’t know the details but I have seen groups of hispanic women when presented with a baby who will all without fail at least touch a foot or something. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2005, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-dont-touch-my-baby-without-asking/310494/24 "2005-06-30T14:38:32Z")
> [@drachillix](#): > > There are also cultural connections to this in old school hispanic groups. IIRC is is seen as some kind of bad mojo NOT to touch the baby. I don’t know the details but I have seen groups of hispanic women when presented with a baby who will all without fail at least touch a foot or something. I was going to post this very thing. Some Mexican lore holds that admiring a baby without touching can give it “mal de ojo,” the evil eye. Touching the baby shows lack of evil intention or envy and invokes God’s protection. If you goo-goo a Mexican mother’s baby and don’t touch it, she may get _really_ bent out of shape with you. Still, asking is probably a good idea under any circumstance. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2005, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-dont-touch-my-baby-without-asking/310494/25 "2005-06-30T14:38:36Z")
When i get the urge to touch a baby (which is uhm…usually never) I am able to control myself by thinking “yech, I don’t know where that baby’s been!” Babies have cooties you know. These people are putting themselves at risk too. gah, people are dumb. Hope your baby’s doing well WhyNot! ---
**Author:** ![Lissa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2005, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-dont-touch-my-baby-without-asking/310494/26 "2005-06-30T14:43:36Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > Seriously, I’m just as enamored of baby toes. And baby toes are probably not the worst thing to touch. I do ask Mammas if it’s OK first, but I am just as guilty of touching stranger baby toes. But do stay away from their hands and faces - that’s where most germs get in. This just blows my mind. I have never once been tempted to touch a stranger’s baby. To me, it’s as equally odd as going up and touching a strange adult. ---
**Author:** ![velvetjones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5f9b8f/32.png) [@velvetjones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/velvetjones)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2005, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-dont-touch-my-baby-without-asking/310494/27 "2005-06-30T14:52:10Z")
> [@Lissa](#): > > This just blows my mind. I have never once been tempted to touch a stranger’s baby. To me, it’s as equally odd as going up and touching a strange adult. I agree completely. What a strange custom. ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2005, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-dont-touch-my-baby-without-asking/310494/28 "2005-06-30T15:01:16Z")
I’d suggest yelling at or smacking anybody who tries to touch your child. Fuck cultural differences, the health of your child takes priority. Gotta be like a mother, um… chimp, orantugan? Something like that. But beat up the other primates who mess with your offspring. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2005, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-dont-touch-my-baby-without-asking/310494/29 "2005-06-30T15:40:58Z")
Who the hell thinks it’s a good idea in this day and age to touch people’s children at random? Holy shit, I’d be afraid someone would scream, “KIDNAPPER!!!” ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2005, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-dont-touch-my-baby-without-asking/310494/30 "2005-06-30T15:43:52Z")
Damn… orantugan? Sounds like a star wars creature. I need a nap. ---
**Author:** ![brickbacon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/898d66/32.png) [@brickbacon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brickbacon)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2005, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-dont-touch-my-baby-without-asking/310494/31 "2005-06-30T15:55:17Z")
> [@Askia](#): > > You’re preaching to the choir talking to me – until recently I was a kindergarten teacher for five years – but IMHYUCO if the average young black women allows herself to have unprotected sex resulting in an unplanned pregnancy, she’s not terribly concerned with sperm or germs. WTF! Come on man, that was uncalled for and factually wrong. > [@WhyNot](#): > > Yay, I think? 😛 Man, I moved here to be more multi-cultural, I guess I asked for it. But don’t they see that there’s very real illness danger to this sort of thing? Even if you’re not sick, you have germs on you that she doesn’t. Especially as premies have such fragile immune systems. Huh. Maybe she does need a bubble. I’m not saying these people should be touching your baby, but why do you bring her to a grocery store if she has such a fragile immune system? After being there for a while, I would imagine your hands are as dirty as the average person touching your baby (unless you wash them each time before touching her). ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2005, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-dont-touch-my-baby-without-asking/310494/32 "2005-06-30T16:10:45Z")
WhyNot, I am not speaking to you because of the special situation you have with a preemie, but for the rest of you guys, lighten the fuck up! Babies have immune systems you know, and are not nearly as fragile as you want to think they are. They are cute. People are admiring your child. I’d probably draw the line if some stranger whipped out her boob and wanted to nurse the Weird-North baby, but if all you want to do is coo at, tickle, gig, wave, cluck, ahhh, poke or anything else, have at it. He enjoys the attention and people seem to enjoy giving it to him. Yes, I agree that it is polite to ask, but the reactions of some people to the question are irrational. Touch?? Touch my baby??? Are you mad??? It’s a baby, not a Fabregee Egg. If s/he’s really that fragile, s/he shouldn’t be out in public. ---
**Author:** ![Icarus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icarus/32/72_2.png) [@Icarus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icarus)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2005, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-dont-touch-my-baby-without-asking/310494/33 "2005-06-30T16:27:01Z")
[disclaimer]I’m going to go in a little different direction here, and I suspect I will be vilified for this opinion, and knowing that, I sincerely will attempt to frame the statements in a non-confrontational way.[/disclaimer] While I do not have any cites to provide, there is a growing discussion that we, as parents, are being over-protective of our children when it comes to germs. The theory goes something like this: people, upon being exposed to germs etc., build up immunities. By protecting against germs too strenuously, we are creating a bad situation in two ways: 1. we don’t build up enough immunities, and 2. the germs become stronger by becoming immune to the protections. Read about super-bugs and the growing ineffectiveness of anti-biotics in medicine. Perhaps, again only perhaps, this cultural habit of touching/carrying strangers babies that has been observed is somehow a subtle expression of behavior guided by our DNA that attempts to intentionally expose babies to as many germs as possible so that they can develop as much immunity as possible. Our modern, western over-protectiveness is unintentionally short-circuiting a natural behavior with undesirable results. Just a thought. ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2005, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-dont-touch-my-baby-without-asking/310494/34 "2005-06-30T16:37:04Z")
> [@Askia](#): > > You’re preaching to the choir talking to me – until recently I was a kindergarten teacher for five years – but IMHYUCO if the average young black women allows herself to have unprotected sex resulting in an unplanned pregnancy, she’s not terribly concerned with sperm or germs. Wow, that was out of line. ---
**Author:** ![NotWithoutRage](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/22d042/32.png) [@NotWithoutRage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NotWithoutRage)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2005, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-dont-touch-my-baby-without-asking/310494/35 "2005-06-30T16:37:32Z")
> [@Weirddave](#): > > WhyNot, I am not speaking to you because of the special situation you have with a preemie, but for the rest of you guys, lighten the fuck up! Babies have immune systems you know, and are not nearly as fragile as you want to think they are. They are cute. I’m still missing the part where it’s okay to touch someone’s baby because it’s cute and has an immune system. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2005, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-dont-touch-my-baby-without-asking/310494/36 "2005-06-30T16:47:32Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > That would make me understand it more, but still not be happy about it. And, like \*\*Irishgirl \*\*says, I think \*my \*cultural rules should supercede, whatwithit being my DNA and all! Perhaps not if I’m at an Indian wedding where I have chosen, for the moment, to accept Indian cultural standards, but at the grocery store? Fah. And what makes you think the other cultures are any more aware of _YOUR_ cultural rules that you seem to be of _THEIRS_. Also, I can’t BELIEVE what **Askia** wrote. :eek: Also, I’m totally in agreement with **WeirdDave**. Babies need to build up immunity to outside germs. I don’t think all the anti-bacterial soaps, and over-protective moms are doing their kids any favors down the line. I guess a “preemie” would be a different story, although how can you expect others just to know : 1. It was a preemie. 2. That preemies might have more vulnerability to disease. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2005, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-dont-touch-my-baby-without-asking/310494/37 "2005-06-30T16:48:06Z")
**Weirddave** , that’s just it, though-you’re not going to KNOW if the baby’s a preemie, or if he or she has some kind of weak immune system, or whatever. Besides, it’s not just about germs-as far as I’m concerned, you don’t touch people-babies, kids, adults, whatever, without permission. It’s just common courtesy. That doesn’t mean you can’t look at a baby, or wave, or make faces, or coo. But don’t TOUCH. You wouldn’t go up to an adult and start touching him or her, would you? So why are babies okay? In this day and age, I’d be far to afraid someone would start accusing me of being a perv or something, anyways. ---
**Author:** ![Icarus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icarus/32/72_2.png) [@Icarus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icarus)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2005, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-dont-touch-my-baby-without-asking/310494/38 "2005-06-30T16:50:22Z")
> [@NotWithoutRage](#): > > I’m still missing the part where it’s okay to touch someone’s baby because it’s cute and has an immune system. :rolleyes: I’m guessing you posted before you saw my post above. But to answer your question directly - (I am not an Immunologist) in layman’s terms, in order for an immune system to work, it relies on exposure to germs etc., it then builds immunities to those germs etc. Without exposure, it doesn’t build the immunity. Without question, it’s up to the mother to decide if it’s okay for someone to touch their baby. I’m simply suggesting that those mothers who are very protective rethink their strategy a bit. ---
**Author:** ![furlibusea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aca169/32.png) [@furlibusea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furlibusea)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2005, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-dont-touch-my-baby-without-asking/310494/39 "2005-06-30T16:59:07Z")
> [@brickbacon](#): > > I’m not saying these people should be touching your baby, but why do you bring her to a grocery store if she has such a fragile immune system? After being there for a while, I would imagine your hands are as dirty as the average person touching your baby (unless you wash them each time before touching her). Perhaps she needed groceries? Sometimes, short of becoming an urban hunter gatherer, you have to go to the store. ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2005, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-dont-touch-my-baby-without-asking/310494/40 "2005-06-30T17:01:18Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > That doesn’t mean you can’t look at a baby, or wave, or make faces, or coo. But don’t TOUCH. You wouldn’t go up to an adult and start touching him or her, would you? So why are babies okay? Actually, the first thing I do when I meet a new person, or see someone I know, is shake their hand. > [@](#): > > In this day and age, I’d be far to afraid someone would start accusing me of being a perv or something, anyways. Come on. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-dont-touch-my-baby-without-asking/310494.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-dont-touch-my-baby-without-asking/310494.md?page=3)