# WTF!? Hyenas aren't dogs! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 27, 2006, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-hyenas-arent-dogs/366279 "2006-07-27T16:29:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Ruken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f475e1/32.png) [@Ruken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruken)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2006, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-hyenas-arent-dogs/366279/1 "2006-07-27T16:29:27Z")
I had always assumed that hyenas were related to dogs, and if not _in_ Canidae, at least in a closely related family. They look like dogs to me. Nooo, I find that their family, Hyaenidae, is more closely related to meerkats and mongooses (Herpestidae)! I hate it when I find out stuff like this. Granted I’m happy to clear up my own misconceptions, but I don’t like having such misconceptions. It’s much like when I first discovered that Malta exists. I was ~14 at the time, and my thoughts were, “HTF did I not notice a country sitting smack in the middle of the Mediteranean! I stare at maps all the time!” ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2006, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-hyenas-arent-dogs/366279/2 "2006-07-27T16:33:40Z")
And lady Hyenas have something [very, very odd](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pseudo-penis) between their legs :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Ruken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f475e1/32.png) [@Ruken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruken)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2006, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-hyenas-arent-dogs/366279/3 "2006-07-27T16:52:07Z")
> [@Tapioca Dextrin](#): > > And lady Hyenas have something [very, very odd](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pseudo-penis) between their legs :eek: Yeah! I read about that too. From that same stub, “The female hyena is an exception as it uses its pseudo-penis for urination, copulation, and to give birth.” So how does copulation and giving birth work? ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2006, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-hyenas-arent-dogs/366279/4 "2006-07-27T16:57:24Z")
> [@Ruken](#): > > So how does copulation and giving birth work? Giving birth must be like passing a kidney stone. A 6-pound kidney stone. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2006, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-hyenas-arent-dogs/366279/5 "2006-07-27T18:11:04Z")
What bugs me is that when I was a kid, a panda _wasn’t_ a bear. Now a panda’s a bear?! What the hell is up with that? I think they’re just jerking my chain, now. ---
**Author:** ![Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/earl_snake-hips_tucker/32/3269_2.png) [@Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earl_Snake-Hips_Tucker)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2006, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-hyenas-arent-dogs/366279/6 "2006-07-27T19:10:52Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > What bugs me is that when I was a kid, a panda _wasn’t_ a bear. Now a panda’s a bear?! What the hell is up with that? I think they’re just jerking my chain, now. Actually, to make things even more confusing, it was originally called a bear (particolor bear), then later it was decided that it wasn’t, and it was renamed the “giant panda” because of its presumed much closer relationship to the red (or lesser) panda, which at the time was just called “panda.” I don’t think at the time that the red panda carried a qualifier. ---
**Author:** ![jackelope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a6a055/32.png) [@jackelope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackelope)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2006, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-hyenas-arent-dogs/366279/7 "2006-07-27T23:25:00Z")
Hyenas aren’t dogs? Don’t tell [these fellows](http://www.michaelstevenson.com/contemporary/exhibitions/hugo/nigeria.htm). ([This](http://www.michaelstevenson.com/contemporary/exhibitions/hugo/nigeria4.htm) in particular is maybe the most badass photo I’ve ever seen.) ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2006, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-hyenas-arent-dogs/366279/8 "2006-07-27T23:41:29Z")
And it turns out the closest relatives of whales are hippos. Genetic work has been shaking up bird classification recently. It turns out that Turkey Vultures are actually related to storks, rather than the kind of vultures you get in Africa. ---
**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2006, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-hyenas-arent-dogs/366279/9 "2006-07-27T23:45:26Z")
> [@jackelope](#): > > Hyenas aren’t dogs? Don’t tell [these fellows](http://www.michaelstevenson.com/contemporary/exhibitions/hugo/nigeria.htm). > > ([This](http://www.michaelstevenson.com/contemporary/exhibitions/hugo/nigeria4.htm) in particular is maybe the most badass photo I’ve ever seen.) You know, I really like critters of all kinds. There are exactly two, however, that just inspire me with waves of revulsion. One is that tropical centipede which we Dopers have discussed and shuddered over many times. The other is the African hyena. Those pictures just make me squirm with horror. Those animals are _murderous_! You just know that those owners/handlers are going to eventually die between the jaws of their “pets”. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2006, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-hyenas-arent-dogs/366279/10 "2006-07-27T23:58:24Z")
> [@](#): > > C. crocuta females are extremely masculinated and the genitalia of females are almost indistinguishable from those of males. The clitoris is enlarged, looks like a penis, and is capable of erection. Females also have a pair of sacs in the genital region which are filled with fibrous tissue. These look much like a scrotum, but are covered with more hair than the male’s scrotum. Thus, males and females look extremely similar. The female has no external vagina and must urinate, mate, and deliver young through the urogenital canal that exits through the pseudo-penis. High androgen levels were once thought to be a major cause of this masculinazation. One current hypothesis is that sexual mimicry is the driving force behind hyaena masculinization. Females that look like males may be protected from aggression from other females. [That](http://animaldiversity.ummz.umich.edu/site/accounts/information/Crocuta_crocuta.html) has _got_ to suck at bars. ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2006, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-hyenas-arent-dogs/366279/11 "2006-07-28T00:42:27Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > [That](http://animaldiversity.ummz.umich.edu/site/accounts/information/Crocuta_crocuta.html) has _got_ to suck at bars. Suppose that depends on the type of bars you frequent. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2006, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-hyenas-arent-dogs/366279/12 "2006-07-28T01:00:43Z")
> [@Cluricaun](#): > > Suppose that depends on the type of bars you frequent. 😃 It certainly gives a new meaning to “Coyote ugly”. 🙂 Hell, the male hyenas don’t know whether to ask her to play pool in the bar or make out in the parking lot. ---
**Author:** ![lizardling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f4b2a3/32.png) [@lizardling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lizardling)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2006, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-hyenas-arent-dogs/366279/13 "2006-07-28T03:49:21Z")
The above link says that the clitoris (pseudo-penis, I’m assuming) ruptures to allow the young to pass through, and takes several weeks to heal. :eek: :eek: :eek: _crosses legs firmly_ ---
**Author:** ![Chez\_Guevara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/aeb1de/32.png) [@Chez\_Guevara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chez_Guevara)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2006, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-hyenas-arent-dogs/366279/14 "2006-07-28T05:46:27Z")
I’m sure I have read somewhere, or perhaps seen on a documentary, that the hyena is very strong on family values. The standard of care the animal shows for its cubs is high relative to many other animals. I can’t find a cite though. ---
**Author:** ![LiveOnAPlane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3d9bf3/32.png) [@LiveOnAPlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LiveOnAPlane)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2006, 7:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-hyenas-arent-dogs/366279/15 "2006-07-28T07:30:04Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > [That](http://animaldiversity.ummz.umich.edu/site/accounts/information/Crocuta_crocuta.html) has _got_ to suck at bars. No disrespect, but clearly you’ve never been to the Shady Oaks Bar & Grill in Niceville, Florida. (rip…it folded somewhere around 1975. too bad, coulda got a lot of movies and/or cool movie characters from there.) ---
**Author:** ![One\_And\_Only\_Wanderers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/838e76/32.png) [@One\_And\_Only\_Wanderers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/One_And_Only_Wanderers)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2006, 7:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-hyenas-arent-dogs/366279/16 "2006-07-28T07:58:42Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > [That](http://animaldiversity.ummz.umich.edu/site/accounts/information/Crocuta_crocuta.html) has _got_ to suck at bars. So how do they get pregnant in the first place?? ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2006, 11:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-hyenas-arent-dogs/366279/17 "2006-07-28T11:48:56Z")
> [@One And Only Wanderers](#): > > So how do they get pregnant in the first place?? I was wondering that myself. How does the male achieve penetration? ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2006, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-hyenas-arent-dogs/366279/18 "2006-07-28T17:35:18Z")
Are tree shrews still Primates? ---
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2006, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-hyenas-arent-dogs/366279/19 "2006-07-28T17:44:46Z")
> [@Tapioca Dextrin](#): > > And lady Hyenas have something [very, very odd](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pseudo-penis) between their legs :eek: The funny part of that article, to me, is the bit at the end: "This anatomy article is a stub. " ---
**Author:** ![Darwins\_Finch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darwins_finch/32/20304_2.png) [@Darwins\_Finch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darwins_Finch)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2006, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-hyenas-arent-dogs/366279/20 "2006-07-28T19:17:58Z")
> [@Spectre of Pithecanthropus](#): > > Are tree shrews still Primates? [Nope](http://animaldiversity.ummz.umich.edu/site/accounts/classification/path/Tupaia.html#Tupaia). [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-hyenas-arent-dogs/366279.md?page=2)