# wtf is a wood chuck? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cecil's Columns/Staff Reports\ **Created:** [October 23, 2004, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-a-wood-chuck/270791 "2004-10-23T18:17:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![t-keela](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a3d4f5/32.png) [@t-keela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/t-keela)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2004, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-a-wood-chuck/270791/1 "2004-10-23T18:17:58Z")
[In this article](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a2_083a.html) \*\*Uncle Cecil \*\* answers the question. How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? His answer is obvious of course. > [@Cecil Adams](#): > > a woodchuck would chuck as much wood as a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood Now correct me if I am wrong but IIRC the proper response should have been. _A woodchuck would what a woodchuck could, if a woodchuck could chuck wood._ Now perhaps this is the result of a generation gap and he being much older and wiser did in fact give the proper and more antiquated response, perhaps. :rolleyes: Does anyone recall the answer to this critical issue to which **the Master** has obviously gone to much effort to answer. We wouldn’t want to offend any woodchucks by telling lies about them to the public. **and BTW… just WTF exactly is a woodchuck?** 😕 marmot, prariedog, groundhog, gopher, mole, duckbilled platypus…etc and who says they CAN’T chuck wood in the first place? ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2004, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-a-wood-chuck/270791/2 "2004-10-23T20:15:56Z")
A woodchuck is another name for a groundhog. [Woodchuck](http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=woodchuck) ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2004, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-a-wood-chuck/270791/3 "2004-10-23T21:39:31Z")
The answer I’ve always heard is: “A woodchuck would chuck as much wood as he could chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood.” which is closer to Unca Cece’s answer than to yours. ---
**Author:** ![Candy\_Lover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ce7236/32.png) [@Candy\_Lover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Candy_Lover)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2004, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-a-wood-chuck/270791/4 "2004-10-23T22:53:53Z")
> [@Kat](#): > > The answer I’ve always heard is: > “A woodchuck would chuck as much wood as he could chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood.” which is closer to Unca Cece’s answer than to yours. How much wood would a woodchuck chuck If a woodchuck could chuck wood? He would chuck as much wood as a woodchuck could chuck If a woodchuck could chuck wood. However, in perusing the net, I see about five variants of the third line listed. So there does not seem to be concensus. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![t-keela](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a3d4f5/32.png) [@t-keela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/t-keela)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2004, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-a-wood-chuck/270791/5 "2004-10-24T12:53:58Z")
> [@Khadaji](#): > > A woodchuck is another name for a groundhog. [Woodchuck](http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=woodchuck) Let it be said, that I do have a clue when it comes to what most people claim is a woodchuck. It is that big-ass rat the mayor of (wherever) holds up every year at Groundhogs day. In the Appalachian Mountains the woodchuck is known as a whistle pig. The marmot is a stocky coarse-furred burrowing rodent with a short bushy tail found throughout the northern hemisphere; hibernates in winter and is commonly called a Ground Hog. "The Woodchuck is a large North American marmot. " There are apparently several types of marmots. Prairie dog (Zo["o]l.), a small American rodent (Cynomys Ludovicianus) allied to the marmots. It inhabits the plains west of the Mississippi. The prairie dogs burrow in the ground in large warrens, and have a sharp bark like that of a dog. Called also prairie marmot. (These prairie rodents are not IMHO what are commonly referred to as woodchucks. Although I have heard people claim they were. I have definitely known them to be called chipmunks.) **Note this:** The yaffle, or green woodpecker is also called a Woodchuck. As a woodpecker, don’t you think he actually does chuck wood? ---
**Author:** ![t-keela](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a3d4f5/32.png) [@t-keela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/t-keela)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2004, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-a-wood-chuck/270791/6 "2004-10-24T13:11:08Z")
> [@Candy Lover](#): > > How much wood would a woodchuck chuck > If a woodchuck could chuck wood? > He would chuck as much wood as a woodchuck could chuck > If a woodchuck could chuck wood. > > However, in perusing the net, I see about five variants of the third line listed. So there does not seem to be concensus. 😉 The third line IS the line in question. I think the rhyme of my version is far superior to the line that **Cecil** gave. That doesn’t prove either to be the original version of the riddle, but it has the same number of beats in the verse as the question and it’s a hell of a lot smoother on the tongue. I like smooth tongues better. 😉 Q: How much wood/ would a woodchuck chuck… if … 1: A woodchuck would/ what a woodchuck could…if… 2: He would chuck as much wood/ as a woodchuck could chuck… if… See what I mean? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2004, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-a-wood-chuck/270791/7 "2004-10-24T13:19:37Z")
> [@t-keela](#): > > [In this article](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a2_083a.html) > \*\*Uncle Cecil \*\* answers the question. > How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? > His answer is obvious of course. > > > [@](#): > > > > Originally Posted by Cecil Adams > > a woodchuck would chuck as much wood as a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood > > Now correct me if I am wrong but IIRC the proper response should have been. > > _A woodchuck would what a woodchuck could, if a woodchuck could chuck wood._ > Now perhaps this is the result of a generation gap and he being much older and wiser did in fact give the proper and more antiquated response, perhaps. :rolleyes: [/SIZE] Um…I’m an elderly 27, and I’ve never heard any but Cecil’s version, even from five-year-olds saying it; considering he’s been fighting ignorance since before I was born, it can’t be a generational thing. " A woodchuck would chuck" gets 1,600 google hits and “A woodchuck would what” gets zero. Spelling it wood-chuck and wood chuck get even fewer results. Odd, I thought everyone knew that tongue twister. ---
**Author:** ![t-keela](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a3d4f5/32.png) [@t-keela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/t-keela)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2004, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-a-wood-chuck/270791/8 "2004-10-24T13:28:25Z")
> [@elfkin477](#): > > Um…I’m an elderly 27, and I’ve never heard any but Cecil’s version, even from five-year-olds saying it; considering he’s been fighting ignorance since before I was born, it can’t be a generational thing. > > " A woodchuck would chuck" gets 1,600 google hits and “A woodchuck would what” gets zero. Spelling it wood-chuck and wood chuck get even fewer results. Odd, I thought everyone knew that tongue twister. My friends and I have been saying it my way since the early 60’s. It maybe just the way WE said it. I’m just 42… and you know what they say about 42 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2004, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-a-wood-chuck/270791/9 "2004-10-24T13:54:45Z")
I wish I knew the full Latin version of this, which was written to be equally a tongue-twister. It begins, _Quantam materiam materietur marmota monax…_. ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2004, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-a-wood-chuck/270791/10 "2004-10-24T13:56:05Z")
I always thought it was, “How much ground round would a hound dog hog, If a ground hog were ground round?” _Thanks to Walt Kelly_ 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2004, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-a-wood-chuck/270791/11 "2004-10-25T06:38:16Z")
> [@Polycarp](#): > > I wish I knew the full Latin version of this, which was written to be equally a tongue-twister. It begins, _Quantam materiam materietur marmota monax…_. Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari? And [this page](http://web.mit.edu/afs/athena.mit.edu/user/d/r/dryfoo/www/Funny-pages/handy-latin.html) has a number of other beauties, such as **Si hoc signum legere potes, operis boni in rebus Latinus alacribus et fructuosis potiri potes!** (_If you can read this sign, you can get a good job in the fast-paced, high-paying world of Latin!_) ---
**Author:** ![KallieOkami](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8c91f0/32.png) [@KallieOkami](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KallieOkami)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2004, 9:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-a-wood-chuck/270791/12 "2004-12-31T09:28:16Z")
> [@Kat](#): > > The answer I’ve always heard is: > “A woodchuck would chuck as much wood as he could chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood.” which is closer to Unca Cece’s answer than to yours. i heard “he’d chuck as much would as a woodchuck could, if a woodchuck could chuck wood” just to be catchier…but basically the same… ---
**Author:** ![Peanuthead](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peanuthead/32/360_2.png) [@Peanuthead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peanuthead)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2004, 10:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-a-wood-chuck/270791/13 "2004-12-31T10:25:32Z")
> [@Khadaji](#): > > A woodchuck is another name for a groundhog. [Woodchuck](http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=woodchuck) Well then: How much ground could a groundhog hog if a groundhog could hog ground? ---
**Author:** ![AtomicDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ac91a4/32.png) [@AtomicDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AtomicDog)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2004, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-a-wood-chuck/270791/14 "2004-12-31T15:18:33Z")
[Evil Nazi Groundhogs](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=15906&highlight=nazi+groundhog) ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2005, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-a-wood-chuck/270791/15 "2005-01-01T15:36:16Z")
Woodchucks, groundhogs, marmots, prairie dogs, and all their kin are ground-dwelling members of Family Sciuridae, in Suborder Sciuramorpha of Order Rodentia – essentially the branch of the squirrel family that decided excavated holes in the ground, as opposed to holes in trees, made appropriate living quarters. ---
**Author:** ![juniorhoss](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a587f6/32.png) [@juniorhoss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/juniorhoss)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2013, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-a-wood-chuck/270791/16 "2013-02-10T14:31:44Z")
All of these critters are God’s (or Mother Natures) natural means of supplying us with target practice. ---
**Author:** ![njtt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecd19e/32.png) [@njtt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/njtt)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2013, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-a-wood-chuck/270791/17 "2013-02-11T05:41:09Z")
It is like the first casting conference for the movie Ed Wood: “Who would be Ed Wood?” “I was thinking Edward Woodward would be Ed Wood.” So tehy went with Johnny Depp. ---
**Author:** ![C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2013, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-a-wood-chuck/270791/18 "2013-02-11T13:11:43Z")
Moderator just noting that this is an eight-year old thread, revived by **juniorhoss**. That’s not a problem per se, just want y’all to be aware so that if you’re replying to someone who posted that long ago, they might not respond (for a variety of reasons, including not still being on the SDMB, and not remembering that they posted to this thread, and…) ---
**Author:** ![steviep24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5f9b8f/32.png) [@steviep24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/steviep24)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2013, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-a-wood-chuck/270791/19 "2013-02-11T15:25:30Z")
[Do woodchucks chuck wood?](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=381kEKP0Hxs) ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2013, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-a-wood-chuck/270791/20 "2013-02-28T19:50:52Z")
I know it’s an old zombie, but I don’t say this the same way as any of the options above. The version I’m familiar with (from Appalachian Ohio): How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A woodchuck would chuck all he could if a woodchuck could chuck wood. Sometimes: … if a woodchuck could and would chuck wood. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-a-wood-chuck/270791.md?page=2)