# WTF is "funny" about telling someone an upsetting lie, then going "just joking, ha ha"??? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 2, 2009, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-funny-about-telling-someone-an-upsetting-lie-then-going-just-joking-ha-ha/519755 "2009-12-02T20:51:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Dripping](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d2c977/32.png) [@Dripping](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dripping)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-funny-about-telling-someone-an-upsetting-lie-then-going-just-joking-ha-ha/519755/1 "2009-12-02T20:51:02Z")
I. Just. Don’t. Get. it. Two recent examples: 1. I’m the first to arrive at a party where I don’t know the hosts very well. The hosts open the door and the guy goes “What are you doing here, dude”? I say “Oh, uh gosh isn’t the party tonight?” and he goes “What party”? A gut-wrenching wave of embarrassment engulfs me, then just as I am stammering some kind of response, he says “Just kidding, c’mon in”. The event cast a pall over the party for me, I avoided the host while I was there and I left early. WTF? 2. My team at work finishes a big project that will either make or break things in my division (ie we’ll all lose our jobs if it is not accepted). Were are all anxiously waiting to hear from the client, then our boss walks in. He looks dejected. “Sorry guys, it wasn’t accepted”, he says. “OMG”, I think, as my mind tries to absorb this horrible news. I’ll lose my house, what will I tell my wife, OMG, OMG. I start to feel pysically sick, then he says “Just kidding, we got it” and tries a “high-five”. Again. WTF? Why is this shit considered even remotely funny? ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-funny-about-telling-someone-an-upsetting-lie-then-going-just-joking-ha-ha/519755/2 "2009-12-02T20:55:15Z")
What’s _not_ funny about it? The second example might be over the top, considering it’s your livelihood, but c’mon…the party example? “Cast a pall”? I hope you’re exagerating. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-funny-about-telling-someone-an-upsetting-lie-then-going-just-joking-ha-ha/519755/3 "2009-12-02T20:57:42Z")
You gotta lighten up. Most people will assume you’ll feel embarrassed or dejected, but then once the joke is revealed, relief will wash over you, and you’ll be able to laugh about it. Sort of like the Candid Camera thing, you know. You start laughing about how pissed off you were, all’s well that ends well, and the like. I don’t personally find it funny, but when someone pulls something like that on me, I call him an asshole, jab him in the arm, whatever, then I’m done thinking about it in thirty seconds. Do you have severe anxiety issues or something? ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-funny-about-telling-someone-an-upsetting-lie-then-going-just-joking-ha-ha/519755/4 "2009-12-02T21:00:36Z")
> [@Dripping](#): > > Why is this shit considered even remotely funny? Maybe you react to these things in a way that people find amusing. ---
**Author:** ![Euphonious\_Polemic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/euphonious_polemic/32/3002_2.png) [@Euphonious\_Polemic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euphonious_Polemic)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-funny-about-telling-someone-an-upsetting-lie-then-going-just-joking-ha-ha/519755/5 "2009-12-02T21:00:48Z")
I’ve reported this thread for trolling, and asked for you to be banned. Just kidding! C’mon, someone had to do it! ---
**Author:** ![Squink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5e925/32.png) [@Squink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squink)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-funny-about-telling-someone-an-upsetting-lie-then-going-just-joking-ha-ha/519755/6 "2009-12-02T21:13:19Z")
> [@Dripping](#): > > Why is this shit considered even remotely funny? It is funny because we are evolved from apes, and apes would get a kick out of such hijinx if only they had the language skills to carry it off. ---
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-funny-about-telling-someone-an-upsetting-lie-then-going-just-joking-ha-ha/519755/7 "2009-12-02T21:13:26Z")
It’s tension and release. Build up the tension, then offer release - it’s a method used in music, jokes and other forms of art to simulate the pleasure of orgasm. So the real question is: Why are you such a prude? ---
**Author:** ![Anamorphic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/anamorphic/32/3057_2.png) [@Anamorphic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anamorphic)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-funny-about-telling-someone-an-upsetting-lie-then-going-just-joking-ha-ha/519755/8 "2009-12-02T21:25:43Z")
I dunno about that, I actually kind of feel the way Dripping does. I don’t consider myself a prude or think that I lack a sense of humor… I’ve actually made quite a bit of money from my humor. But I’ve never really found those kinds of jokes funny. I’m not really a big fan of any kind of uncomfortable humor… phone pranks or Borat and all that. That said, I do understand WHY some people DO find it funny. Just not my kind of humor. ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-funny-about-telling-someone-an-upsetting-lie-then-going-just-joking-ha-ha/519755/9 "2009-12-02T21:28:57Z")
I’ll just go ahead and call it passive-aggressive bullshit, and agree with the OP that it’s not funny. How long or how intensely the feeling stays with you is an individual thing, I suppose, but I wouldn’t want to hang around much with someone who did it habitually. There’s a difference between “Your fly’s open . . . just kidding!” and “You’re unemployed . . . just kidding!” The party example might fly better if the OP knew the hosts well. But I wouldn’t try something like that on someone I barely knew. Way to welcome someone to your home. Would the people who think it’s funny care to share examples of themselves being pranked in a similar way by an upsetting lie, in which they themselves thought it was funny? ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-funny-about-telling-someone-an-upsetting-lie-then-going-just-joking-ha-ha/519755/10 "2009-12-02T21:33:38Z")
It’s all in the delivery. One time my friend from Chicago was supposed to come and DJ at a party at my house. We had actually thrown the party specifically cuz he was coming out. Now, my house to be clear had a big basement, so this was a party with a big soundsystem and about 200 people, so it wasn’t a small affair. So as a publicity stunt to get people to come out, we told people it was his wake. But if you actually read the flier, it was phrased so ridiculously that it was impossible. It involved him being hit by a Gefilte Fish truck outside of the Chicago theater, and then being airlifted to one of the worst hospitals in Brooklyn, and had an aside about how his girlfriend was rocking back and forth asking, “What’s wrong with hospitals in Chicago?” Some people freaked out and believed it. Those people are stupid. It was damn funny overall. But it wasn’t just like, “Joe died, only kidding, hahahaha.”, we created a whole elaborate story that was obviously bullshit if you paid attention to the words that were printed. We made him one of those shrines and everything. He has this pic that looks very 21 Jumpstreet with 80s hair, bare chest and a leather jacket as the centerpiece of the memorial tabe. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-funny-about-telling-someone-an-upsetting-lie-then-going-just-joking-ha-ha/519755/11 "2009-12-02T21:33:50Z")
I agree it’s not terribly funny. The people who are saying it’s tension and release are right, of course, but it’s not clever at all. It would piss me off that the person who was doing it would congratulate themselves for being so funny, when it’s the most obvious asshole humor there is. ---
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-funny-about-telling-someone-an-upsetting-lie-then-going-just-joking-ha-ha/519755/12 "2009-12-02T21:33:57Z")
I’m with the OP. Humor that relies on making someone feel shitty first just does not work for me. I also hate the sort of inverse of this – “You won the lottery! No, ha ha, that’s a fake ticket.” Guess I just don’t like people jerking my chain to see me dance for them. ---
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-funny-about-telling-someone-an-upsetting-lie-then-going-just-joking-ha-ha/519755/13 "2009-12-02T21:34:44Z")
**Morphy** , how dare you break your silence to contradict me? You go too far, sirrah! Actually, I don’t think it makes anyone a prude. That was my attempt at a joke. Maybe I’m the one with the humor problem. _sniff_ My mom says I’m funny… ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-funny-about-telling-someone-an-upsetting-lie-then-going-just-joking-ha-ha/519755/14 "2009-12-02T21:35:29Z")
I just started [a pit thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=540268) about **Dripping** for this asinine thread. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-funny-about-telling-someone-an-upsetting-lie-then-going-just-joking-ha-ha/519755/15 "2009-12-02T21:35:41Z")
Next time you get them: Somebody broke your windshield. Liar. Just kidding. I figured so. Actually I’m kidding now about kidding. Your windshield really is smashed out. You’re kidding. No. Yes you are. You caught me. I’m kidding. Be sure to use this when their windshield really is smashed out or what ever calamity has happened. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-funny-about-telling-someone-an-upsetting-lie-then-going-just-joking-ha-ha/519755/16 "2009-12-02T21:39:16Z")
I’m with you on this. I don’t do it to people and I don’t like people doing it to me and I won’t watch, or be a party to doing it to another. That tv show ‘Punked’? I thought it was trash and couldn’t watch it. I felt so sorry for the victims, it ruined it for me. Each to their own and all, but to me, this is the basest form of funny. Lower than racist jokes. It only works because you are inflicting suffering on someone you call a friend. That’s not for me, thanks anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Anamorphic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/anamorphic/32/3057_2.png) [@Anamorphic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anamorphic)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-funny-about-telling-someone-an-upsetting-lie-then-going-just-joking-ha-ha/519755/17 "2009-12-02T21:44:06Z")
> [@woodstockbirdybird](#): > > **Morphy** , how dare you break your silence to contradict me? You go too far, sirrah! > > Actually, I don’t think it makes anyone a prude. That was my attempt at a joke. Maybe I’m the one with the humor problem. _sniff_ My mom says I’m funny… Woodstockbirdybird, I’ve been waiting 10 years for you to post something I disagreed with, just so I could contradict you. Clearly, we were made for each other. ---
**Author:** ![ivn1188](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e480ec/32.png) [@ivn1188](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivn1188)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-funny-about-telling-someone-an-upsetting-lie-then-going-just-joking-ha-ha/519755/18 "2009-12-02T21:44:18Z")
This thread explains a lot about dopers. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-funny-about-telling-someone-an-upsetting-lie-then-going-just-joking-ha-ha/519755/19 "2009-12-02T21:51:38Z")
> [@woodstockbirdybird](#): > > Actually, I don’t think it makes anyone a prude. That was my attempt at a joke. Maybe I’m the one with the humor problem. _sniff_ My mom says I’m funny… …LOOKING! Ha! Burn! ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-funny-about-telling-someone-an-upsetting-lie-then-going-just-joking-ha-ha/519755/20 "2009-12-02T21:57:44Z")
Stop hanging around with people who expect you to have a sense of humor. Perhaps you could befriend a stock ticker? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-funny-about-telling-someone-an-upsetting-lie-then-going-just-joking-ha-ha/519755.md?page=2)