# WTF is "funny" about telling someone an upsetting lie, then going "just joking, ha ha"??? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 2, 2009, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-funny-about-telling-someone-an-upsetting-lie-then-going-just-joking-ha-ha/519755 "2009-12-02T20:51:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Anamorphic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/anamorphic/32/3057_2.png) [@Anamorphic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anamorphic)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-funny-about-telling-someone-an-upsetting-lie-then-going-just-joking-ha-ha/519755/21 "2009-12-02T22:02:18Z")
> [@ivn1188](#): > > This thread explains a lot about dopers. That different people find different things funny? Crazy. Next you’ll be telling us that different dopers enjoy different foods and movies and books as well! ---
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-funny-about-telling-someone-an-upsetting-lie-then-going-just-joking-ha-ha/519755/22 "2009-12-02T22:29:55Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > …LOOKING! Ha! Burn! Funny-looking _like a fox_! FTR, I think the kind of joke mentioned in the OP is kinda dickish, too, but it’s nothing I get legitimately upset over. ---
**Author:** ![3\_20\_59\_or\_bust](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/47e85d/32.png) [@3\_20\_59\_or\_bust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3_20_59_or_bust)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-funny-about-telling-someone-an-upsetting-lie-then-going-just-joking-ha-ha/519755/23 "2009-12-02T22:41:32Z")
Nope, I’m with you on this one. Humor that makes one side want to punch the other side right in their fat face is pretty poor humor, in my opinion. And I hate the “gotcha” humor shows like Borat and Punk’d as well. No matter how much I may dislike the prankee, I always feel sorry for them. And if I have to feel sorry for Britney Britney or Justin Timberlake, well, that’s just not funny, that’s cruel…to me. ---
**Author:** ![unstrung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/a698b9/32.png) [@unstrung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/unstrung)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-funny-about-telling-someone-an-upsetting-lie-then-going-just-joking-ha-ha/519755/24 "2009-12-02T22:46:57Z")
> [@Dripping](#): > > 1. I’m the first to arrive at a party where I don’t know the hosts very well. The hosts open the door and the guy goes “What are you doing here, dude”? I say “Oh, uh gosh isn’t the party tonight?” and he goes “What party”? A gut-wrenching wave of embarrassment engulfs me, then just as I am stammering some kind of response, he says “Just kidding, c’mon in”. The event cast a pall over the party for me, I avoided the host while I was there and I left early. WTF? As a different perspective on this… I’ve thrown parties in the past where someone is coming that I know doesn’t know many of the people there. And, I’ve discovered that one of the best things to do is to get them involved with some sort of joke early on. When it works well, it can dispel some tension and awkwardness, as well as providing a conversation piece as the evening progresses. Of course, when I do it, I make damn sure the joke in question is not at that person’s expense, because I take my hosting duties very seriously. And of course, this isn’t meant to change anyones perspective on whether the incident above is amusing or annoying. Just saying that could have been where the host’s head was at… ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-funny-about-telling-someone-an-upsetting-lie-then-going-just-joking-ha-ha/519755/25 "2009-12-02T22:49:10Z")
DOCTOR: I’m sorry, Mr. Johnson. Your wife was pretty badly injured in that car crash. In fact, she’ll never walk or move her arms again. She’s going to need special equipment and round-the-clock care. You are going to have to spoon-feed her, change her diapers, sponge-bathe her . . . this will go on for years. MR. JOHNSON: Oh, my God! [sobs] DOCTOR: HAH-HAH!!! Ah, I’m just messin’ with you! She’s dead! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-funny-about-telling-someone-an-upsetting-lie-then-going-just-joking-ha-ha/519755/26 "2009-12-02T22:49:16Z")
I’ve always thought this type of “humor” is an assholish thing to do to people. ---
**Author:** ![Mr\_Smashy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2bfe46/32.png) [@Mr\_Smashy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr_Smashy)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-funny-about-telling-someone-an-upsetting-lie-then-going-just-joking-ha-ha/519755/27 "2009-12-02T22:58:04Z")
In my opinion it’s a form of control over people, in order to prop up their low self-esteems at the expense of others. Almost like an adult form of bullying in the schoolyard. ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-funny-about-telling-someone-an-upsetting-lie-then-going-just-joking-ha-ha/519755/28 "2009-12-02T23:04:08Z")
> [@Scarlett67](#): > > I’ll just go ahead and call it passive-aggressive bullshit, and agree with the OP that it’s not funny. How long or how intensely the feeling stays with you is an individual thing, I suppose, but I wouldn’t want to hang around much with someone who did it habitually. > > There’s a difference between “Your fly’s open . . . just kidding!” and “You’re unemployed . . . just kidding!” The party example might fly better if the OP knew the hosts well. But I wouldn’t try something like that on someone I barely knew. Way to welcome someone to your home. > > Would the people who think it’s funny care to share examples of themselves being pranked in a similar way by an upsetting lie, in which they themselves thought it was funny? seriously hate it, i had an abusive ex-fiance that would dangle a promise of something nice, then yank it as a control issue. Take me out for my birthday? Promises for weeks, then sit around the house watching TV. Christmas? Of course we will go 500 miles to visit your parents … not. Dentist for the cracked tooth? of course, when hell freezes over. ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-funny-about-telling-someone-an-upsetting-lie-then-going-just-joking-ha-ha/519755/29 "2009-12-02T23:05:27Z")
You know, there’s only 1 spot left for our final round … …and there are two people left… Joe, I’m really very sorry to say this but you’re going to have to leave this competition now. AND PACK YOUR BAGS FOR VEGAS BABY!!! YOU MADE IT! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ---
**Author:** ![Gfactor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9de053/32.png) [@Gfactor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gfactor)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-funny-about-telling-someone-an-upsetting-lie-then-going-just-joking-ha-ha/519755/30 "2009-12-02T23:07:09Z")
I think this thread is better suited for In My Humble Opinion. I’ll move it there from The BBQ Pit. **Gfactor** Pit Moderator ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-funny-about-telling-someone-an-upsetting-lie-then-going-just-joking-ha-ha/519755/31 "2009-12-02T23:10:01Z")
> [@Euphonious\_Polemic](#): > > I’ve reported this thread for trolling, and asked for you to be banned. > Just kidding! > > C’mon, someone had to do it! That is hilarious. I think the OP is tripping. Lighten up. That said, I do see how those kind of jokes can be annoying. But not as bad when it is done in reverse. You know…like the thing where those guys tricked the guy into thinking he won the lottery for millions, only he didn’t really? That was messed up. ---
**Author:** ![Dripping](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d2c977/32.png) [@Dripping](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dripping)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-funny-about-telling-someone-an-upsetting-lie-then-going-just-joking-ha-ha/519755/32 "2009-12-02T23:16:42Z")
> [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > I think the OP is tripping. Tripping as in on LSD? Or as in stumbling over something? I don’t get this one either. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-funny-about-telling-someone-an-upsetting-lie-then-going-just-joking-ha-ha/519755/33 "2009-12-02T23:20:34Z")
> [@Dripping](#): > > Tripping as in on LSD? Or as in stumbling over something? > > I don’t get this one either. > > ☹ You know, I usually take pains not to get all slang-y on this board. I thought I could let my guard down a smidgen. I meant, you are buggin. Illin. Whoa. There is no easy way to tranlate ‘trippin’ without using slang. Weird. ETA: Wait. I spelled it wrong. Or right. Whatever. [Trippin](http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=trippin). ---
**Author:** ![Dripping](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d2c977/32.png) [@Dripping](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dripping)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-funny-about-telling-someone-an-upsetting-lie-then-going-just-joking-ha-ha/519755/34 "2009-12-02T23:21:32Z")
> [@Mr\_Smashy](#): > > In my opinion it’s a form of control over people, in order to prop up their low self-esteems at the expense of others. Almost like an adult form of bullying in the schoolyard. Yes, that’s how I felt (and still feel) about the host of the party, that he is a bully and an asshole. ---
**Author:** ![unstrung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/a698b9/32.png) [@unstrung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/unstrung)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-funny-about-telling-someone-an-upsetting-lie-then-going-just-joking-ha-ha/519755/35 "2009-12-02T23:34:46Z")
> [@Mr\_Smashy](#): > > In my opinion it’s a form of control over people, in order to prop up their low self-esteems at the expense of others. Almost like an adult form of bullying in the schoolyard. I suspect that in some cases, you are absolutely right. But, not always… One of my friends and I have a constant back and forth with this type of humour. The goal is obviously to fool the other person, but there really isn’t anything mean about it. I was the last person to be gotten, and it was completely hilarious. But he knows I will have my vengeance, and it will be equally hilarious… The best evidence that we’re not trying to bully each other is that on more than one occasion, we’ve thought of a prank for the other person, but decided that it would be over the line and instead told the other person what the gag would have been. That way we can still laugh about it without actually hurting the other person. Of course, this is a different situation from the original post, since it is somone with whom I am close friends. If you don’t know someone that well, you are really rolling the dice with these sort of jokes… ---
**Author:** ![Trepa\_Mayfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@Trepa\_Mayfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trepa_Mayfield)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-funny-about-telling-someone-an-upsetting-lie-then-going-just-joking-ha-ha/519755/36 "2009-12-02T23:45:18Z")
You aren’t getting it because you aren’t a social ass (like a regular ass, but only around large groups of people). It’s funny for the joke-teller. And other asses. And no-one else. God, I hate it when people pull this stupid crap. ETA: It’s different if everyone involved knows everyone else involved. And they know that they are okay with this type of humor. ---
**Author:** ![Icarus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icarus/32/72_2.png) [@Icarus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icarus)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-funny-about-telling-someone-an-upsetting-lie-then-going-just-joking-ha-ha/519755/37 "2009-12-02T23:58:18Z")
> [@Dripping](#): > > 1. I’m the first to arrive at a party where I don’t know the hosts very well. As a serious student of humor and comedy, I’ll going to point to this as the reason that the funny failed. Prank humor or put-down humor really only works when you have an established relationship between the parties, and an established pattern of using prank or put-sown humor mutually. This was clearly not the case. Also, there was no audience that the party host was playing to. So the idea of you being the “butt-of-the-joke” for others to laugh at is also missing. The only one laughing at you was him. Verdict - he’s an asshole and this was not funny. ---
**Author:** ![Kimmy\_Gibbler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Kimmy\_Gibbler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimmy_Gibbler)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2009, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-funny-about-telling-someone-an-upsetting-lie-then-going-just-joking-ha-ha/519755/38 "2009-12-02T23:58:22Z")
> [@Dripping](#): > > I. Just. Don’t. Get. it. > > Two recent examples: > > 1. I’m the first to arrive at a party where I don’t know the hosts very well. The hosts open the door and the guy goes “What are you doing here, dude”? I say “Oh, uh gosh isn’t the party tonight?” and he goes “What party”? A gut-wrenching wave of embarrassment engulfs me, then just as I am stammering some kind of response, he says “Just kidding, c’mon in”. The event cast a pall over the party for me, I avoided the host while I was there and I left early. WTF? > > 2. My team at work finishes a big project that will either make or break things in my division (ie we’ll all lose our jobs if it is not accepted). Were are all anxiously waiting to hear from the client, then our boss walks in. He looks dejected. “Sorry guys, it wasn’t accepted”, he says. “OMG”, I think, as my mind tries to absorb this horrible news. I’ll lose my house, what will I tell my wife, OMG, OMG. I start to feel pysically sick, then he says “Just kidding, we got it” and tries a “high-five”. Again. WTF? > > Why is this shit considered even remotely funny? Quite apart from whether these episodes are mean-spirited (they probably are), is the fact that this kind of hoary joke is pretty stale to begin with. I was already over it when I was in seventh grade and had a particularly cornball “social studies” teacher. ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-funny-about-telling-someone-an-upsetting-lie-then-going-just-joking-ha-ha/519755/39 "2009-12-03T00:03:13Z")
Does the OP suffer from some sort of social anxiety? I agree completely that “Jokes at other people’s expense” (and things like _Borat_ or radio station prank calls) are extremely dickish and unfunny- but the “Party? What Party?” thing strikes me as harmless fun. It’s an ideal opportunity to respond with “Well, if there’s no party, I guess I’ll just take this six-pack home and drink it there instead” (or something equally light-hearted), “breaking the ice” and showing themselves to be a “good sport”. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2009, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-funny-about-telling-someone-an-upsetting-lie-then-going-just-joking-ha-ha/519755/40 "2009-12-03T00:10:27Z")
OP, I don’t find either of your examples funny, and it would cast a pall on future relations with the people who thought that was funny for me, too. I have an excellent sense of humour, but my tolerance for mean-spirited “jokes” like these examples is almost zero - saying mean things to people and then “Just kidding!” doesn’t negate the meanness, in my opinion. Celebrity example of this - Shannen Doherty’s show [“Scare Tactics”](http://www.tv.com/scare-tactics/show/11797/summary.html) - I would consider it one of the meannest things I’ve ever seen on tv. The premise is that you tell people (or put them in situations) where they think something horrible is happening to them or someone else, and then Surprise! it was just a joke! That person you saw falling off the roof and being killed - ha! Just a joke! You thought you were being arrested and put in jail? You thought your child was dead? Ha! Gotcha! Not funny - not funny at all, to me. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-funny-about-telling-someone-an-upsetting-lie-then-going-just-joking-ha-ha/519755.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-funny-about-telling-someone-an-upsetting-lie-then-going-just-joking-ha-ha/519755.md?page=3)