# WTF is up with the "Penis Enlargement" spammers?! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 25, 2002, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-up-with-the-penis-enlargement-spammers/125496 "2002-08-25T16:30:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![tarragon918](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d26b3c/32.png) [@tarragon918](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tarragon918)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2002, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-up-with-the-penis-enlargement-spammers/125496/1 "2002-08-25T16:30:05Z")
I have a couple of “free” email accounts, and for a long time I rarely got junk emails. If I do, they usually go into a “bulk” folder, where I automatically delete them when they show up. Lately, though, I’ve been getting those “You too can enlarge your penis!” emails in the bulk folder! And not just one or two–three or four, several times a week! Strangely enough, they never offer to send me the initial penis to enlarge. 😉 LMAO! Rats, it must have been some “survey” thingy I filled out on some website. I try to avoid those at all costs, but sometimes in order to get to the page I want to see, they ask for “basic” info. I know I always check the female box, though! Don’t those spammers realize that I’m female, with no penis to enlarge?! LOL ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2002, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-up-with-the-penis-enlargement-spammers/125496/2 "2002-08-25T16:40:39Z")
Perhaps these e-mails are meant for your male SO? Does he need help in that area?😉 ---
**Author:** ![Liften\_Schwaltz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Liften\_Schwaltz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liften_Schwaltz)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2002, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-up-with-the-penis-enlargement-spammers/125496/3 "2002-08-25T16:48:05Z")
That’s because they’re _MINE_, you net-thief. Hand those ads over RIGHT NOW. And perhaps I shall be kind enough in the future to let you touch my 500-foot spiked cock of d00m0rz when it comes in the mail. 🆒 (Damn, my first thread is already gone after 4 days? I went out like a punk.) ---
**Author:** ![baltotop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f19dbf/32.png) [@baltotop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/baltotop)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2002, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-up-with-the-penis-enlargement-spammers/125496/4 "2002-08-25T17:02:32Z")
I get those emails just about everyday, they are getting on my nerves. :mad: I also keep getting the one that says how to please your woman…:eek: And i dont want to see that one either, so yesterday i opened it to see if it had a unsubscribe link and as soon as you open it it activates an htm virus :smack: , thankfully my anti-virus caught it. So i would like to say to everyone here to just delete without opening it… ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2002, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-up-with-the-penis-enlargement-spammers/125496/5 "2002-08-25T18:15:45Z")
I’ll trade you your penis enlargement spam for my breast enlargement spam. Round, full breasts are nice in principle, but I think they’d look kinda funny on my male frame. ---
**Author:** ![Rayne\_Man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/df705f/32.png) [@Rayne\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rayne_Man)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2002, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-up-with-the-penis-enlargement-spammers/125496/6 "2002-08-25T18:19:33Z")
I get both the penis and breast enlargement spams. Talk about sex of one and half a dozen of the other. ---
**Author:** ![Daowajan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3bc359/32.png) [@Daowajan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daowajan)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2002, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-up-with-the-penis-enlargement-spammers/125496/7 "2002-08-25T18:22:31Z")
Poorly paraphrased, because I don’t know where I can find the actual quote: “I get spam for four things, 1. Viagra 2. pornography 3. personal member enlargement, and 4. low-interest mortgages. Do any of these actually make the spammers money? Presumably, there is a town called Spamville where all the men consume massive amounts of Viagra and pornography to the point where they knock holes in the walls of their houses with their enlarged personal members, then purchase new houses with low-interest mortgages.” -Dave Barry ---
**Author:** ![cards](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecd19e/32.png) [@cards](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cards)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2002, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-up-with-the-penis-enlargement-spammers/125496/8 "2002-08-25T19:47:48Z")
I know a spammer and the reason they don’t use any discretion is that there isn’t any real economic cost to blasting out to everyone, but there is a cost to spending the time to see if the target of the mail is a valid one. Think of it this way: in direct mail, you have the cost of postage, print production and creative expense, so you try to minimize the waste by trying to make sure your penis enlargement target actually has a penis upon which it could used; this is often done by using data analysis to try to target only those people who might have a use, e.g., Mr. or Mrs. Smallpenis. In e-mail, you have none of those production costs and spammers don’t need to target using analysis. In fact it would actually add to their costs in the short run. Since they have no per unit cost, it is just as easy to send 10 e-mails as 10,000,000 (granted they have some economies of scale to have enough software, server and bandwidth capacity to send a large batch, but once that is in place, hey send all you want). Until there is some economic or legal constraint, they have no reason to try to stop annoying single women with the urgently needed appeals for penis enlargement. Um, maybe I’m wrong here…might single women actually have a need for such a device? When you go on a first date, do you carry a tape measure? ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2002, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-up-with-the-penis-enlargement-spammers/125496/9 "2002-08-25T20:01:15Z")
Don’t follow the “unsubscribe” directions; that only tells the spammers that they have a valid E-mail address to send more spam to, and that you actually read the spam. ---
**Author:** ![LolaCocaCola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7cd45c/32.png) [@LolaCocaCola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LolaCocaCola)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2002, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-up-with-the-penis-enlargement-spammers/125496/10 "2002-08-25T20:01:53Z")
Well, if you got penile construction surgery, then you could get the penile enlargement treatment. I’m jes’ sayin’. ---
**Author:** ![Intaglio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/71e660/32.png) [@Intaglio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intaglio)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2002, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-up-with-the-penis-enlargement-spammers/125496/11 "2002-08-25T20:05:06Z")
I hate getting junk spam e-mail as it is, but with me being a proper lady I really hate getting the “Enlarge your Penis” mail. How bout I’ll let you know if I want my Penis Enlarged, OK F-ers. ---
**Author:** ![Baldwin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baldwin/32/7264_2.png) [@Baldwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baldwin)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2002, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-up-with-the-penis-enlargement-spammers/125496/12 "2002-08-25T20:17:23Z")
I’ve always been mystified by spam. Do they actually get business that way? I’d rather rip off my own toenails than do business with somebody who contacts me that way. At the same time, I can’t see making it illegal (although it’s against the rules of most e-mail services, so when I get those I try to get the person’s account shut down). Still, it should definitely be illegal to have an “Unsubscribe” feature that doesn’t unsubscribe – somebody should be locked in a cell for that one. ---
**Author:** ![auRa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c4cdca/32.png) [@auRa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/auRa)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2002, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-up-with-the-penis-enlargement-spammers/125496/13 "2002-08-25T20:59:22Z")
Okay, how come everyone else gets these except me? I have never received one single penis enlargement ad, breast augmentation ad, low mortgage ad… even the Nigerian spam people are ignoring me. Look, is it something I did? I feel so alone… My boyfriend, on the other hand, has received five breast enlargement ads within the past two weeks. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2002, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-up-with-the-penis-enlargement-spammers/125496/14 "2002-08-25T21:19:00Z")
I keep getting ads for diplomas-for-sale. But no penis or breast enlargement ads. I don’t know whether to be pleased or offended. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2002, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-up-with-the-penis-enlargement-spammers/125496/15 "2002-08-25T21:50:47Z")
Have you been getting the “anus-enlargement” ads too? What’s up with those? ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2002, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-up-with-the-penis-enlargement-spammers/125496/16 "2002-08-25T23:02:49Z")
I have very rarely got any kind of spam. But in the last week I have started getting several ads a day. They are of two types. One is for “low cost” insurance. The other is for some kind of video that is supposed to show Jennifer Lopez performing some kind of sex acts. Now I am not interest in _either_ of these, so I delete them. I tried sending a reply that says I will sue them if they send me any more spam, but all I get back is a “Delivery Failure” notice. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2002, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-up-with-the-penis-enlargement-spammers/125496/17 "2002-08-25T23:24:50Z")
I once responded to every single penis-enlargement ad that I had in my Inbox… all 300 of them. Now my penis is thirty feet long. Help! ---
**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2002, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-up-with-the-penis-enlargement-spammers/125496/18 "2002-08-26T01:06:37Z")
I get those penis enlargement ads in my email all the time. Only thing is, my penis is huge now, why would I want to make it bigger? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Genseric](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Genseric](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Genseric)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2002, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-up-with-the-penis-enlargement-spammers/125496/19 "2002-08-26T01:06:37Z")
Want a bigger penis? Just start measuring from your asshole. ---
**Author:** ![Wearia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@Wearia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wearia)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2002, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-up-with-the-penis-enlargement-spammers/125496/20 "2002-08-26T05:21:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SPOOFE \* > \*\*I once responded to every single penis-enlargement ad that I had in my Inbox… all 300 of them. Now my penis is thirty feet long. Help! \*\* Its called an axe dude. Oh and if theres time, duct tape. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-is-up-with-the-penis-enlargement-spammers/125496.md?page=2)