# WTF kind of person would do this to his girlfriend?? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 10, 2005, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-kind-of-person-would-do-this-to-his-girlfriend/289324 "2005-02-10T01:53:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-kind-of-person-would-do-this-to-his-girlfriend/289324/141 "2005-02-11T00:28:33Z")
Be careful, now, **Zette** you don’t want that sucker to, what was it, shred itself. Do you? I just wanted to “add” that I’m a vegetarian. Slip a teeny little bit of chicken stock into that sauce or broccoli soup, and my digestive system will inform me of it, violently, within 30-40 minutes. Just a data point to back up **pepperlandgirl** and say, yes. Some people can have explosive diarrhea within an hour of eating the thing that makes them sick. How that’s actually relevant to the OP? ::shrugs:: ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-kind-of-person-would-do-this-to-his-girlfriend/289324/142 "2005-02-11T01:19:57Z")
> [@Dogzilla](#): > > Be careful, now, **Zette** you don’t want that sucker to, what was it, shred itself. Do you? > > I just wanted to “add” that I’m a vegetarian. Slip a teeny little bit of chicken stock into that sauce or broccoli soup, and my digestive system will inform me of it, violently, within 30-40 minutes. Just a data point to back up **pepperlandgirl** and say, yes. Some people can have explosive diarrhea within an hour of eating the thing that makes them sick. > > How that’s actually relevant to the OP? ::shrugs:: Speaking of near instant explosive runs, people sensitive to Olestra will have very quick reactions, as will lactose intolerant folks. I had a small shake with my lunch one day and let me just say I BARELY made it into the mall next door before running to the bathroom. Maybe it was just my pancreas screaming! ---
**Author:** ![catsix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@catsix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catsix)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-kind-of-person-would-do-this-to-his-girlfriend/289324/143 "2005-02-11T02:01:56Z")
> [@](#): > > **Malacandra** said: > Wild, with a side order of idiotic, not to mention extremely insulting to all the women who could kick my butt (mathematically speaking), for a start. Yes. I believe I was called a traitor to my gender or a man pretending to be a woman because I am an engineer who happens to be female. It was a surreal experience to say the least. ---
**Author:** ![Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bad_News_Baboon)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-kind-of-person-would-do-this-to-his-girlfriend/289324/144 "2005-02-11T16:20:32Z")
The whole story just reeked of Internet bullshit to me, so for laughs I looked it up: Chicken a la king was discontinued in '93/94 [http://www.globalsecurity.org/military/systems/ground/mre.htm](http://www.globalsecurity.org/military/systems/ground/mre.htm) The wikipedia link confirms this as well. So I guess his case was sitting around for at least 10 years? Then this site: [http://www.mreinfo.com/mre-menu-2002.html](http://www.mreinfo.com/mre-menu-2002.html) lists that only entree (country captain chicken) had buttered noodles. MRE cases, as best as I know, come 12 to a case with 6 varieties (2 each). He states to only have one case, so you do the math. Only two entrees had pound cake as a desert. None list electrolytes as a drink (although they do have a listed item as “bevarage base powder” ) Further, I grew up in a base town (El Paso) and most of my friends had parents in the army. I do not ever recall seeing any “air freshener” as listed. I saw loads of other army supplies around the house, but not that. Lastly, I think that the guy wasn’t laughing at the pain and agony of his girlfriend, he was laughing because (say in Beevis and Butthead voice) “heh heh, she farted” but that’s just my take on it. ---
**Author:** ![romansperson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/romansperson/32/17100_2.png) [@romansperson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/romansperson)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-kind-of-person-would-do-this-to-his-girlfriend/289324/145 "2005-02-11T19:15:39Z")
> [@Bad News Baboon](#): > > Further, I grew up in a base town (El Paso) and most of my friends had parents in the army. I do not ever recall seeing any “air freshener” as listed. I saw loads of other army supplies around the house, but not that. While I agree that the story in the OP is almost surely bullshit and I suspected as much from the start, there is in fact milspec air freshener (though whether there is any that is orange scented, I don’t know). We had some in the women’s head in the building I worked in when I worked for the Navy. It came in an aerosol can, and the kind we had was just awful - it had an overpowering floral smell to it. Smelled worse than the shit, actually. ---
**Author:** ![krisolov](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/krisolov/32/3724_2.png) [@krisolov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/krisolov)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-kind-of-person-would-do-this-to-his-girlfriend/289324/146 "2005-02-11T19:26:26Z")
> [@hajario](#): > > The story was pretty funny. The overreactions to the story are fucking hilarious. Pancreas damage? You’re fucking killing me, man. > > He fed her food. It upset her belly and she was embarrassed. I’d be a little more caring about it but then again I’m a pussy compared to a Ranger. It even said in the story that the girlfriend thought it was funny a few days later. > > Look, he thought it would be funny to cook her a meal and have her love it and think that he was Mr. Gorumet all of a sudden. Then he would reveal to her later that made MREs. So she had an upset belly at the end which he didn’t intend and couldn’t have reasonably forseen. Whatever. The same thing happens to me whenever I eat too many onions or food that’s too spicy. It’s not the end of the world. > > Keep it up. I need a good laugh. > > Haj Oh, sanity at last! Couldn’t have said it better myself. I’ve eaten many, many an MRE. They are designed to load you up on calories. Some people have reactions like his girlfriend, which is unfortunate. Is he an asshole for laughing about it? Yeah, probably. But cooking a meal of MREs is certainly NOT in and of itsself evidence of bad intent. Hell, my kids have eaten some of my extra MREs and loved them. Does that make me a child abuser? Puhlease. ---
**Author:** ![Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bad_News_Baboon)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-kind-of-person-would-do-this-to-his-girlfriend/289324/147 "2005-02-11T21:54:47Z")
> [@romansperson](#): > > While I agree that the story in the OP is almost surely bullshit and I suspected as much from the start, there is in fact milspec air freshener (though whether there is any that is orange scented, I don’t know). We had some in the women’s head in the building I worked in when I worked for the Navy. It came in an aerosol can, and the kind we had was just awful - it had an overpowering floral smell to it. Smelled worse than the shit, actually. Thanks for clearing that part up. Was it a green can with stencil looking letters, because that is how I picture it looking in my mind. I tried to find some online but wasn’t able to. ---
**Author:** ![galt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/35a633/32.png) [@galt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/galt)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-kind-of-person-would-do-this-to-his-girlfriend/289324/148 "2005-02-12T02:59:48Z")
I’m still trying to figure out how **catsix** is a misogynist for basically saying, “meh. I’d eat MRE’s.” That was one of the most unsupportable, ridiculous leaps of logic I’ve seen in a while. PS. I THINK MY PANCREAS IS TEARING ITSELF TO PIECES. No wait, I’m just really full. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-kind-of-person-would-do-this-to-his-girlfriend/289324/149 "2005-02-12T03:03:28Z")
> [@galt](#): > > I’m still trying to figure out how **catsix** is a misogynist for basically saying, “meh. I’d eat MRE’s.” That was one of the most unsupportable, ridiculous leaps of logic I’ve seen in a while. > > PS. I THINK MY PANCREAS IS TEARING ITSELF TO PIECES. No wait, I’m just really full. I called her a misogynist for stating that a sadist would be an appealing choice for a partner. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-kind-of-person-would-do-this-to-his-girlfriend/289324/150 "2005-02-12T03:16:42Z")
**Dio** this is a case where shutting up would be the best thing to do. You got your knickers in a wad over an imaginary story, and continuing to dig won’t result in your elevation being raised. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-kind-of-person-would-do-this-to-his-girlfriend/289324/151 "2005-02-12T03:26:35Z")
I was just correcting a lie, You may fucko off now. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-kind-of-person-would-do-this-to-his-girlfriend/289324/152 "2005-02-12T03:42:20Z")
> [@Diogenes the Cynic](#): > > I was just correcting a lie, You may fucko off now. Attacking other posters in a thread based on BS fights ignorance in what way? Since Valentine’s Day is coming, lemme lean over in my chair and blow you a nice kiss. ---
**Author:** ![adhemar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@adhemar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/adhemar)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-kind-of-person-would-do-this-to-his-girlfriend/289324/153 "2005-02-12T03:46:24Z")
I think this is guy is a jerk but i just gotta ask here to the people who are saying that he messed her up by fixing this high calorie meal and are likening it to feeding sugar to a diabetic or milk to someone lactose intolerant. Excuse me? 1) he didn’t force feed any of this to her, she ate it willingly. 2) these calories were not disguised, pork chops, rice and pudding all are high in calories. If this chick had eaten a regular sized meal, she couldn’t have eaten 4500 calories, If she pigged out, she bears some of the responsibility. Unless she had a known problem with eating pork or starch, the jerk can’t be blamed for “poisoning” her and if she did have a known problem then she is the one who ate it. If he fixed her a dinner of chicken kiev, pasta salad and chocolate trifle, it would have had the same effect, would you be saying she was poisoned then? The fact that he found her illness to be so funny is the part that makes me cringe but then again i work with a bunch of folks who think that fart jokes are the funniest thing in the world (a cartoon clip of farting dinosaurs had them falling all over the floor over and over again). Not someone I would want to date but not a sadistic misogynist at least by this evidence. ---
**Author:** ![adhemar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@adhemar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/adhemar)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-kind-of-person-would-do-this-to-his-girlfriend/289324/154 "2005-02-12T04:16:47Z")
Damn, always a day late and a dollar short. All of that had already been said, dissected, raked back together, and stomped on all over again. My apologies for being redundant. ---
**Author:** ![Crafter\_Man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crafter_man/32/458_2.png) [@Crafter\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crafter_Man)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2005, 12:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-kind-of-person-would-do-this-to-his-girlfriend/289324/155 "2005-02-12T12:18:57Z")
I am active in the militia and have eaten MRE’s on countless occasions. Even my wife and kids have eaten them. I may be in a minority here, but I think most of them are actually _good_. I’ve never known anyone to get diarrhea from them. The opposite is more common: they tend to plug you up. (We call them **M** eals **R** efusing to **E** xit.) In fact, they’re _designed_ to be constipating. (In a battle, you should be _fighting_, not shitting.) And that’s why it’s always important to chew the gum that’s included with the MRE: it contains medicine to help relieve constipation. ---
**Author:** ![HMS\_Irruncible](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hms_irruncible/32/7394_2.png) [@HMS\_Irruncible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HMS_Irruncible)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2005, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-kind-of-person-would-do-this-to-his-girlfriend/289324/156 "2005-02-13T12:17:40Z")
> [@Diogenes the Cynic](#): > > I called her a misogynist for stating that a sadist would be an appealing choice for a partner. You misspelled “masochist.” ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2005, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-kind-of-person-would-do-this-to-his-girlfriend/289324/157 "2005-02-13T19:42:36Z")
Well, seeing as how this thread basically skipped the rails and had a 28-car pileup, I do have to agree with **Crafter\_man** for a bit. MREs aren’t that bad. They’re pretty darned good, but they put too much crap into the pouch. I end up stripping the entree and spoon out and throwing 'em into my pack (which is what a lot of guys do). I _do_ however carry a 12 oz. bottle of Tabasco sauce. . . But this is the Pit, and I must pull out some propane: I am absolutely shocked at all of you people that continue to flame glurgle. It’s been established several times over that this is garbage, yet people are getting all hot and bothered that a guy would ever do that to a “first date”. :rolleyes: Until y’all hear of it firsthand, freakin’ Jeez, take a break! Tripler There’s my two cents. Here’s your $0.98 change. ---
**Author:** ![galt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/35a633/32.png) [@galt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/galt)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2005, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-kind-of-person-would-do-this-to-his-girlfriend/289324/158 "2005-02-16T00:38:52Z")
> [@Diogenes the Cynic](#): > > I called her a misogynist for stating that a sadist would be an appealing choice for a partner. Well, that’s pretty odd, considering she obviously didn’t state that. She doesn’t think that what the guy did makes him a sadist. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wtf-kind-of-person-would-do-this-to-his-girlfriend/289324.md?page=7)