# X-Factor UK 2010

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/x-factor-uk-2010/552945>\
**Category:** Cafe Society\
**Created:** [September 7, 2010, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/x-factor-uk-2010/552945 "2010-09-07T17:18:12Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 12\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![yojimbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yojimbo/32/232_2.png) [@yojimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yojimbo)\
**Post date:** [September 7, 2010, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/x-factor-uk-2010/552945/1 "2010-09-07T17:18:12Z")

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So the lowest common denominator show is back and giving us some harmless bollocks to watch on Saturday.

This is to talk about it and also to give our US friends a chance to see what’s happening on this side of the pond.

Unless something happens big in the next few weeks I think we may have already seen the winner.

Liam Payne has a very good chance IMO. Most of the voters for x-factor are female from what I’ve heard and they’ll like Liam. A previous contestant two years ago when he was only 14 but now his voice has deepened and he can do a pretty good Michael Buble which will also please the women.

Here’s [Liam](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=awhsOgmdq6w).

Here’s [Cher Lloyd](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e93McevdLtc&feature=rec-LGOUT-exp_stronger_r2-2r-6-HM) who also has a great chance I reckon. Plucky little cute 16 year old who has a good set of pipes as well and not the normal blast out some Whitney type.

So they’re my fav’s so far.

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**Author:** ![yojimbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yojimbo/32/232_2.png) [@yojimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yojimbo)\
**Post date:** [September 8, 2010, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/x-factor-uk-2010/552945/2 "2010-09-08T12:15:19Z")

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No love for X-Factor then 😃

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**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\
**Post date:** [September 8, 2010, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/x-factor-uk-2010/552945/3 "2010-09-08T12:25:02Z")

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+1 love

Cher’s a dote. Love her attitude.

I love [Mary Byrne](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9hoDWyWsxFc) too (who wouldn’t?)

But best of all was one singer [punching her friend in the face](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7v32RoYnMO4) onstage. Fucking hilarious (and did you see the state of her ma?!).

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**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\
**Post date:** [September 8, 2010, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/x-factor-uk-2010/552945/4 "2010-09-08T13:02:28Z")

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> [@jjimm](#):
>
> +1 love
> 
> Cher’s a dote. Love her attitude.
> 
> I love [Mary Byrne](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9hoDWyWsxFc) too (who wouldn’t?)
> 
> But best of all was one singer [punching her friend in the face](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7v32RoYnMO4) onstage. Fucking hilarious (and did you see the state of her ma?!).

Excellent stuff, makes me proud to be British. I can’t believe I haven’t managed to catch any of this year’s X Factor yet. Anyone would think I had better things to do on Saturday nights!

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**Author:** ![Hrududu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Hrududu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hrududu)\
**Post date:** [September 8, 2010, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/x-factor-uk-2010/552945/5 "2010-09-08T13:47:04Z")

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I’m usually glued to it but have managed to miss most of it this year. I hate the audience being in the audition.

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**Author:** ![yojimbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yojimbo/32/232_2.png) [@yojimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yojimbo)\
**Post date:** [September 8, 2010, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/x-factor-uk-2010/552945/6 "2010-09-08T14:00:22Z")

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The audience was very popular for Britain’s Got Talent so has now crossed over to the other shows.

I have to say I like it but each to his and all that.

The two Vicky Pollard alikes that **jimm** posted to were hilarious. “Who are you?” ------ _SMACK_ HaHa.

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**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\
**Post date:** [September 8, 2010, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/x-factor-uk-2010/552945/7 "2010-09-08T15:08:21Z")

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> [@yojimbo](#):
>
> The two Vicky Pollard alikes that **jimm** posted to were hilarious. “Who are you?” ------ _SMACK_ HaHa.

Because I’m frustrated at work, I’ve decided to dedicate the last 10 minutes to transcribing the opening comments of the delightful couple, preceding the awful audition and the punch, for your delight:

**Simon:** And why- why did you decide to do this?  
**Abi:** Because… I dunno. It’s just like… I dunnah. It’s…  
**Lisa:** Basically… Um. I dunno. We just ran- [audience giggling] Can everybody stop laughin’ at me? Omigod. Yah. Ba- Yah. Basically we kind of just ran and we sing with each other and-  
**Abi:** We just like wanna like, dunno, prove people that we can like get confidence to do this.  
[Audience starts to boo]  
**Simon:** Hang on, hang on, hang on.  
**Lisa:** [to audience] SHUT UP!  
**Abi:** [Slams microphone at Lisa’s chest and storms off stage]

Friends of mine auditioned (they appeared briefly in both the X Factor and Xtra Factor, probably because they’re blonde and cute) and they said the emotional manipulation from the producers and their assistants was huge. Acts that are clearly bonkers, like the above, get cultivated as great TV, and some of the other acts that get through appear already to know the judges in some way, even at the preliminary audition stage. :dubious: There are also at least two rounds of auditions before anyone gets to the bear pit that is the new public audition round.

That said, I still bloody love it.

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**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\
**Post date:** [September 8, 2010, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/x-factor-uk-2010/552945/8 "2010-09-08T15:23:35Z")

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> [@jjimm](#):
>
> **Lisa:** Basically… Um. I dunno. We just ran- [audience giggling] Can everybody stop laughin’ at me? Omigod. Yah. Ba- Yah. Basically we kind of just ran and we sing with each other and-

Ran or rang (as in “rang in”)? (I’m at work with no speakers.)

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**Author:** ![yojimbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yojimbo/32/232_2.png) [@yojimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yojimbo)\
**Post date:** [September 8, 2010, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/x-factor-uk-2010/552945/9 "2010-09-08T15:38:45Z")

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> [@jjimm](#):
>
> **Simon:** And why- why did you decide to do this?  
> **Abi:** Because… I dunno. It’s just like… I dunnah. It’s…  
> **Lisa:** Basically… Um. I dunno. We just ran- [audience giggling] Can everybody stop laughin’ at me? Omigod. Yah. Ba- Yah. Basically we kind of just ran and we sing with each other and-  
> **Abi:** We just like wanna like, dunno, prove people that we can like get confidence to do this.  
> [Audience starts to boo]  
> **Simon:** Hang on, hang on, hang on.  
> **Lisa:** [to audience] SHUT UP!  
> **Abi:** [Slams microphone at Lisa’s chest and storms off stage]

Just put [Jerusalem](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=73eB-aAo8Eg) playing in the background and it would bring tears to your eyes.

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**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\
**Post date:** [September 8, 2010, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/x-factor-uk-2010/552945/10 "2010-09-08T19:29:17Z")

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> [@Colophon](#):
>
> > [@jjimm](#):
> >
> > **Lisa:** Basically… Um. I dunno. We just ran- [audience giggling] Can everybody stop laughin’ at me? Omigod. Yah. Ba- Yah. Basically we kind of just ran and we sing with each other and-
> 
> Ran or rang (as in “rang in”)? (I’m at work with no speakers.)

Aha. I thin you’re right.

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**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\
**Post date:** [September 8, 2010, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/x-factor-uk-2010/552945/11 "2010-09-08T19:35:20Z")

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Bloody iPhone posting.

Correction to the above:

I was trying to work that word out, and I think you’re right.

I realise I missed the point I was trying to make above: my friends are cute and can actually sing. They were rejected at the second round of the auditions. Meaning that thousands of acts are rejected before they get to the “audition” in front of Simon et al. Meaning the horrorshow of “Abilisa”, and all the other losers and lunatics, were absolutely, without a shadow of a doubt, selected to be laughed at.

(Furthermore, the judges’ reaction to those good-looking a capella builders was really fake-sounding, making me think they’re already pretty familiar with them.)

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**Author:** ![Novelty\_Bobble](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Novelty\_Bobble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Novelty_Bobble)\
**Post date:** [September 9, 2010, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/x-factor-uk-2010/552945/12 "2010-09-09T14:01:16Z")

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bread and circuses my friends, bread and circuses.

Like a car crash I am drawn to the mental carnage of the early auditions.

[cheesoid] hate self…hate self[/cheesoid]

I lose interest when the judges select the slightly less mediocre performers from the sludge of mediocrity and then proceed to polish turds for 8 weeks until they again choose someone with a slightly raised level of adequacy to release a rancid dirge to celebrate the birth of baby jesus before sinking back into the pit of obscurity in the second week of January.

cynical…moi?
