# X-rated version of Bernie Bott's Every Flavor Beans?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/x-rated-version-of-bernie-botts-every-flavor-beans/147449
**Category:** Factual Questions
**Created:** [January 9, 2003, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/x-rated-version-of-bernie-botts-every-flavor-beans/147449 "2003-01-09T04:34:50Z")
**Posts on this page:** 14
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@JoltSucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoltSucker)
#### Post date: [January 9, 2003, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/x-rated-version-of-bernie-botts-every-flavor-beans/147449/1 "2003-01-09T04:34:50Z")
I gave in to gimmickry and bought my sons bags of Bernie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans. These are Jelly Belly jelly beans that mixed in with the grape and toasted marshmallow are flavors like ear wax, sardines, dirt, grass, boogers and vomit. My sons say the grass and the boogers taste like the real thing. I tried the vomit, and no kidding, it tasted like the real thing. :eek:
I guess I must have been having a male hormonal event, because I got to wondering that if they can emulate bodily substances like boogers, ear wax and vomit, maybe they can emulate things like sperm, vagina, breast milk. I did a quick Google for sex candies, and all I got was edible panties and bras, gummy dildos, and the like. Do sex-related jelly beans exist?
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### Author:  [@Padeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Padeye)
#### Post date: [January 9, 2003, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/x-rated-version-of-bernie-botts-every-flavor-beans/147449/2 "2003-01-09T06:35:35Z")
Joltsucker, you a sick, sick person… which makes you fit in perfectly here.
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### Author:  [@TheLadyLion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheLadyLion)
#### Post date: [January 9, 2003, 6:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/x-rated-version-of-bernie-botts-every-flavor-beans/147449/3 "2003-01-09T06:43:44Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by JoltSucker \*
> \*\*Do sex-related jelly beans exist? \*\*
Probably not. But, hell, **JoltSucker**! Why not be the first on your block to make them? My honey and I could suggest some flavors (actually, I’m sitting here giving him my suggestions!!!).
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### Author:  [@Padeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Padeye)
#### Post date: [January 9, 2003, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/x-rated-version-of-bernie-botts-every-flavor-beans/147449/4 "2003-01-09T06:44:37Z")
I am engaged to a sick, sick woman 😃
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### Author:  [@TheLadyLion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheLadyLion)
#### Post date: [January 9, 2003, 6:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/x-rated-version-of-bernie-botts-every-flavor-beans/147449/5 "2003-01-09T06:45:25Z")
And he loves me to death, for that very reason! 😉
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### Author:  [@I\_can\_t\_believe\_that\_s\_butter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_can_t_believe_that_s_butter)
#### Post date: [January 9, 2003, 7:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/x-rated-version-of-bernie-botts-every-flavor-beans/147449/6 "2003-01-09T07:10:51Z")
I’d buy them, just because I’m curious…
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### Author:  [@Peanuthead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peanuthead)
#### Post date: [January 9, 2003, 7:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/x-rated-version-of-bernie-botts-every-flavor-beans/147449/7 "2003-01-09T07:31:27Z")
**Padeye** : Here. Try these _smart pills_
**JoltSucker** : Eeyewww! They taste like shit!
**Padeye** : See, you’re getting smart already!
😃😃😃
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### Author:  [@I\_can\_t\_believe\_that\_s\_butter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_can_t_believe_that_s_butter)
#### Post date: [January 9, 2003, 8:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/x-rated-version-of-bernie-botts-every-flavor-beans/147449/8 "2003-01-09T08:55:18Z")
Truthfully, this does seem viable. I have seen evidence that a very specific smelling “room scent” is commercially available. If this room scent doesn’t happen to be edible, I don’t see how hard it would be to make an edible version for these potentially vile 'beans. 😉
Or, they could doctor the already existing “every flavors”.
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### Author:  [@JoltSucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoltSucker)
#### Post date: [January 9, 2003, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/x-rated-version-of-bernie-botts-every-flavor-beans/147449/9 "2003-01-09T13:29:59Z")
More suggestions: shit, urine, sweaty armpit, toes (for all you toe suckers out there)…
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### Author:  [@TheLadyLion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheLadyLion)
#### Post date: [January 9, 2003, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/x-rated-version-of-bernie-botts-every-flavor-beans/147449/10 "2003-01-09T15:44:52Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by JoltSucker \*
> \*\*More suggestions: shit, urine, sweaty armpit, toes (for all you toe suckers out there)… \*\*
Yeah, now we’re getting into the very kinky side of X-rated flavors. The first three are more “body pollution” flavors. We could continue on in that vain, of course. There would be the smegma flavor, the clap discharge flavor, the crotch rot flavor… oh, and the ever popular yeast infection flavor! Geez, this is fun!
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### Author:  [@Padeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Padeye)
#### Post date: [January 9, 2003, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/x-rated-version-of-bernie-botts-every-flavor-beans/147449/11 "2003-01-09T16:07:48Z")
Crap on a crutch! What is wrong with you people. What’s wrong with the nice wholesome flavors in the OP? \ Only on SDMB is sperm a “nice wholesome flavor.” :rolleyes: LadyLion, is there something you should be telling me?
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### Author:  [@jk1245](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jk1245)
#### Post date: [January 9, 2003, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/x-rated-version-of-bernie-botts-every-flavor-beans/147449/12 "2003-01-09T16:54:31Z")
I’d hate to be the quality control person for this line of candy. Imagine what a bad batch of smegma flavored jelly beans would taste like :eek:
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### Author:  [@Bottle\_of\_Smoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bottle_of_Smoke)
#### Post date: [January 9, 2003, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/x-rated-version-of-bernie-botts-every-flavor-beans/147449/13 "2003-01-09T18:08:48Z")
I imagine that a bad batch would taste better than one done right.
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### Author:  [@JoltSucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoltSucker)
#### Post date: [January 9, 2003, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/x-rated-version-of-bernie-botts-every-flavor-beans/147449/14 "2003-01-09T19:08:57Z")
Here I am trying to finish up my late lunch, laughing my ass off at my desk! I’m gonna get in trouble… :o