# xtisme, come on down, you muppet! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 7, 2010, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/xtisme-come-on-down-you-muppet/542300 "2010-06-07T17:06:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 24
**Author:** ![XT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xt/32/456_2.png) [@XT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XT)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2010, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/xtisme-come-on-down-you-muppet/542300/461 "2010-06-13T04:03:34Z")
> [@Mr.Kobayashi](#): > > If anyone cares about my opinion at this stage (unlikely, but it was brought up), what I said on the topic **ivan** brought up was; > “I thought UFOs and whatnot might be brought up, which is why I worded the OP as ‘conclusive’ - whatever your opinions, it’s clear that evidence is far from conclusive about extraterrestrial intelligence…” > > I would though consider it perfectly valid to answer the OP ‘the governments would cover it up, because…’ and then some reliable cites, GD being GD. I agree completely. Going into a hijack about the government CT’s was, well, a hijack. But prefacing a reply to your OP by saying the government would have covered it up, and then going on to actually answer your question would have been perfect fine (possibly even interesting). BTW, I’m sorry your thread got hijacked, it really was an interesting question. -XT ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2010, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/xtisme-come-on-down-you-muppet/542300/462 "2010-06-13T13:06:51Z")
> [@ivan\_astikov](#): > > I love it when **Scumpup** turns up in one of my threads. > > Within 2 or 3 posts - but he’s been known to do it in one! - he has me looking like a paragon of virtue and common sense… which I’ll be the first to admit, takes some doing! Wishful thinking, shitbird. I don’t show up in “your” threads for any other purpose than to express my dislike of you. As long as I accomplish that, I win. ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2010, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/xtisme-come-on-down-you-muppet/542300/463 "2010-06-13T13:45:56Z")
Yes, but who really gives a shit who you like or dislike, you prison-rape lovin’ cockmongler. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2010, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/xtisme-come-on-down-you-muppet/542300/464 "2010-06-13T18:16:37Z")
> [@ivan\_astikov](#): > > Yes, but who really gives a shit who you like or dislike, you prison-rape lovin’ cockmongler. This really isn’t the right place to be talking to yourself. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2010, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/xtisme-come-on-down-you-muppet/542300/465 "2010-06-13T21:36:00Z")
I’m not a prison rape lover, Ivan. In fact, I consider it a failure of any penal system where it takes place. It’s just that, in some cases, the jailbird in question is such an odious, detestable little toad that it is impossible to feel bad that he got ass-raped. Especially when he, later, wants to play up what a hard-case, blame-the-victims, punched-some-drunk-at-a-wake badguy he is to the squares on an Internet board. Yeah, it’s pretty well impossible for me to feel bad about some jerk like that getting punked out in the joint. ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2010, 8:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/xtisme-come-on-down-you-muppet/542300/466 "2010-06-14T08:08:52Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > Especially when he, later, wants to play up what a hard-case, blame-the-victims, punched-some-drunk-at-a-wake badguy he is Now be honest, you’ve just made that up, haven’t you? ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2010, 8:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/xtisme-come-on-down-you-muppet/542300/467 "2010-06-14T08:51:33Z")
Now be honest, Ivan, what else have you been convicted for? ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2010, 9:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/xtisme-come-on-down-you-muppet/542300/468 "2010-06-14T09:03:40Z")
Look, even if I had the inclination, I’m not going to get into disclosing my past so you and your Fucktard Posse can then accuse me of lying, or bigging myself up. If I tell you I’m a braggard, and if I don’t, I’m being evasive. Hmmm… I think I’ll be evasive. Less typing involved. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2010, 11:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/xtisme-come-on-down-you-muppet/542300/469 "2010-06-14T11:44:13Z")
Too late shitbird. You’ve already run your mouth about yourself here. How else would I know about it? Would you rather I link to the lengthy trainwreck threads in which you introduced us to your bad, thieving, brawling, victim-blaming self or would you prefer to try a fresh spin on it here? Fuck it. Here’s just one of Ivan’s [autobiography-rich threads.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=502575&highlight=jailbird) ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2010, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/xtisme-come-on-down-you-muppet/542300/470 "2010-06-14T14:04:40Z")
Here ya go. This is the start of my blatant braggadacio, post #132. > [@Ok, if I shouldn't \_shoot\_ the intruder, then...?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-if-i-shouldnt-_shoot_-the-intruder-then/482060/132): > > Yes, because in that moment when you wake up in the middle of the night hearing noises downstairs, and the only other person who should be in the house is lying beside you, all those things would go through your mind. > > The point is, to make your house that much of a deterrent for all except the homicidal nutjob burglar - who tends to just kick your front door in while you are having your tea - rather than have to worry about what you will do if someone gets in. My next contribution was post #223. > [@](#): > > As a long ex-burglar, I can say that all myself and my accomplices ever wanted to do was get your badly protected property as quickly and as effortlessly as possible. I’ve met a few burglars in jails, and the ones who actually wrecked up shit for fun and giggles, or went out intent to do physical harm for the same reasons, were very, very rare. When ever I entered a property, my first action would be to make sure I had an escape route ready in case anyone came in. Then I would start gathering anything of value into one spot. I’d carry no weapons, other than the tools of my trade(screwdriver, crowbar mostly), which were usually hidden in a safe spot before entering, but if anyone had got between my and my escape route, they would have definitely needed to forcibly restrain me to prevent me leaving. I guess I was very lucky, and that scenario only ever occurred once, when I was aged about 14. I managed to talk the guy into going outside and made a run for it, losing a shoe in the process. If you’ve ever tried running in one platform shoe\*, you haven’t lived( I’m giving my age away here.). > > Even funnier thing is, my mam had just bought me the shoes, so I had to tell her I’d been chased up a railway embankments by some ruffians. The next day, she had me, my dad and 2 younger brothers scouring the embankments looking for this shoe. I tried my best to feign interst for half a hour or so, until my dad got pissed off and dragged us all home. > > I never told them the truth until about 10 years later. > > - Burgling lesson number one learned. Wear the right footwear. Here’s my next post in that thread, #233. > [@Ok, if I shouldn't \_shoot\_ the intruder, then...?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-if-i-shouldnt-_shoot_-the-intruder-then/482060/233): > > The main point I was trying to make is that a little home security will usually put off all but the most determined thieves, and you’d never have to consider cleaning up blood out of your new sheepskin rug, or possibly having your own spilled. I live in a country where guns are far less easy to get hold of, but if things were different and I was still a burglar, why wouldn’t I take a gun, just in case you’ve got one? The chances of you surprising me are far less than the other way round, as I am operating on heightened senses, and you have probably just woke up! Care to point out the clear examples of the things you are accusing me of thus far, Scumpup? ---
**Author:** ![Dante](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dante/32/9673_2.png) [@Dante](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dante)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2010, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/xtisme-come-on-down-you-muppet/542300/471 "2010-06-14T14:18:49Z")
This has got to be the most epic backfired Pit Thread of all time. Ten pages and not a single poster on the side of the OP. Wow. I mean, I’ve seen people defend _pedophiles_ on this board, fer Chrissakes! ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2010, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/xtisme-come-on-down-you-muppet/542300/472 "2010-06-14T14:24:17Z")
Nice one, **Dante**. 😉 > [@Dante](#): > > Ten pages and not a single poster on the side of the OP. I demand a recount! ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2010, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/xtisme-come-on-down-you-muppet/542300/473 "2010-06-14T14:27:15Z")
So he’s been convicted for break, enter and theft, and for assault causing bodily harm, and for child sex abuse? Anything else, ivan? ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2010, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/xtisme-come-on-down-you-muppet/542300/474 "2010-06-14T14:30:52Z")
If you need to make shit up to reinforce your position, it’s not a good sign of the validity of said position. Just thought I’d remind you of that. ps. Your use of the words “child sex abuse” imply that you might think there is some form of child sex that doesn’t involve abuse. Do you want to just clarify that? ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2010, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/xtisme-come-on-down-you-muppet/542300/475 "2010-06-14T14:37:37Z")
> [@ivan\_astikov](#): > > Care to point out the clear examples of the things you are accusing me of thus far, Scumpup? Your posts speak for themselves, shitbird. Anybody who wants to can run a search on your name and the word gun. There are about a million gun threads you derailed because you found it more interesting to talk about your brilliant criminal career. In fact, IIRC, you collected a warning to stop doing that…or was the warning to cut the blame-the-victim shit? You could have been anybody you wanted here, just by choosing what to express and what to keep back from your real life. Apparently, you wanted to be the cheap, unrepentant small time thug. Deal with it, jailbird. ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2010, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/xtisme-come-on-down-you-muppet/542300/476 "2010-06-14T14:46:34Z")
Listen, all I’ve ever done is recounted the experiences of my past in a matter-of-fact manner, and where they have related to the topic in discussion. If you want to reinterpret that as me wanting to talk about my brilliant criminal career, there’s nothing I can do about that. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2010, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/xtisme-come-on-down-you-muppet/542300/477 "2010-06-14T14:48:44Z")
So rather than leaving it be pieced together from postings by various posters, what have you been convicted for? ---
**Author:** ![Dante](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dante/32/9673_2.png) [@Dante](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dante)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2010, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/xtisme-come-on-down-you-muppet/542300/478 "2010-06-14T14:50:28Z")
> [@ivan\_astikov](#): > > I demand a recount! Nope, still 10 pages of people agreeing you’re one of biggest wankers on the SDMB. I have literally never seen anyone, anywhere, EVER go undefended in the Pit. In 10 years, this is a first for me. Congratulations, I guess. ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2010, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/xtisme-come-on-down-you-muppet/542300/479 "2010-06-14T14:52:44Z")
Tell us all why you want to know and I’ll give you a full list of the crimes I’ve been convicted for. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2010, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/xtisme-come-on-down-you-muppet/542300/480 "2010-06-14T15:18:07Z")
> [@ivan\_astikov](#): > > Tell us all why you want to know and I’ll give you a full list of the crimes I’ve been convicted for. I want to know, simply because it would be interesting. I look forward to your next attempt to weasel out of a promise. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/xtisme-come-on-down-you-muppet/542300.md?page=23) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/xtisme-come-on-down-you-muppet/542300.md?page=25)