# xtisme, come on down, you muppet! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 7, 2010, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/xtisme-come-on-down-you-muppet/542300 "2010-06-07T17:06:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2010, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/xtisme-come-on-down-you-muppet/542300/141 "2010-06-08T00:13:11Z")
( Ever been in one of those threads where you expect posters to suddenly start pointing at you and screeching?) ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2010, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/xtisme-come-on-down-you-muppet/542300/142 "2010-06-08T00:14:36Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > That’s why you failed your driving test, despite years of driving without a license. Go and tickle your prostate, it’s about all you are good at. ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2010, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/xtisme-come-on-down-you-muppet/542300/143 "2010-06-08T00:16:38Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > Yes, you’re definitely winning this one. Also, when the aliens come, all those girls who laughed at you in high school are going to be sorry. That’s it. Lap up my man-juice with that big tongue of yours. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2010, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/xtisme-come-on-down-you-muppet/542300/144 "2010-06-08T00:22:01Z")
> [@ivan\_astikov](#): > > Better than your sad attempts at making me look foolish. You are succeeding on that front with no need of help from anyone else. ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2010, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/xtisme-come-on-down-you-muppet/542300/145 "2010-06-08T00:36:56Z")
Keep patting yourself on the back, I’m sure you need the reassurance. ---
**Author:** ![Claude\_Remains](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/898d66/32.png) [@Claude\_Remains](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Claude_Remains)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2010, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/xtisme-come-on-down-you-muppet/542300/146 "2010-06-08T00:37:53Z")
> [@ivan\_astikov](#): > > ( Ever been in one of those threads where you expect posters to suddenly start pointing at you and screeching?) Ever wonder what life would be like if you’d had enough oxygen at birth? ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2010, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/xtisme-come-on-down-you-muppet/542300/147 "2010-06-08T00:39:35Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > You know, for someone too lazy to write out a post summarizing a supposedly important book, you sure are posting a lot. There’s a great big difference between typing out words that spring to mind instantly, and having to accurately type out long, detailed passages from a book. If you can’t see that difference, I don’t know how to help you. ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2010, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/xtisme-come-on-down-you-muppet/542300/148 "2010-06-08T00:43:11Z")
> [@Claude\_Remains](#): > > Ever wonder what life would be like if you’d had enough oxygen at birth? Hey, I’m here and functioning well enough to keep you lot coming back for more, so I wonder what that says about your cuntributions in this thread? ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2010, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/xtisme-come-on-down-you-muppet/542300/149 "2010-06-08T00:44:04Z")
> [@ivan\_astikov](#): > > Weasel words. You know fuck all about me personally, and for you to make any judgement on my personality based on such limited information as appears on this board, makes you look the foolish and irrational one. Beyond your being middle aged and and still sponging off your mother, what else do we need to know about you? ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2010, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/xtisme-come-on-down-you-muppet/542300/150 "2010-06-08T00:47:11Z")
> [@ivan\_astikov](#): > > There’s a great big difference between typing out words that spring to mind instantly, and having to accurately type out long, detailed passages from a book. If you can’t see that difference, I don’t know how to help you. I’d hate you to have to type out long, detailed passages instead of just barfing out whatever springs to your mind: > [@ivan\_astikov](#): > > Go and tickle your prostate, it’s about all you are good at. > [@ivan\_astikov](#): > > That’s it. Lap up my man-juice with that big tongue of yours. Yes, that would be a great loss for the board. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2010, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/xtisme-come-on-down-you-muppet/542300/151 "2010-06-08T00:49:19Z")
> [@ivan\_astikov](#): > > You make a lot of sense, Miller, but I just don’t enjoy typing as much as you. If you really wish to enlighten me, read the book yourself and then come back and point out its failings. A bit over 40 years ago, when I was a teenager, I read lots of books on UFOs - the fairly respectable ones. Many of them predicted that the lid would be blown off the conspiracy any day now. (some were a bit old when I read them.) 40 years later, nothing, except we went through the abduction craze which was even wackier than the lights in the sky phase. Tell me what your book has which wasn’t in the books I read 40 years ago. About 120 years ago people throughout the United States saw airships flying over their town. Some had Close Encounters - and spoke to the pilot, who was from New England. The pilot said that he was going to reveal the ship any day now. I expect to see proof that UFOs are spaceships right after that happens. ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2010, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/xtisme-come-on-down-you-muppet/542300/152 "2010-06-08T00:49:46Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > I’d hate you to have to type out long, detailed passages instead of just barfing out whatever springs to your mind: > Yes, that would be a great loss for the board. Two words: Sanctimonious. Prick. ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2010, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/xtisme-come-on-down-you-muppet/542300/153 "2010-06-08T00:50:23Z")
> [@ivan\_astikov](#): > > Go and tickle your prostate, it’s about all you are good at. That’s transference. I am willing to waive my fees and do this pro bono, but for your own mental health, I urge you to come my clinic. We’re open monday through friday eight to six. It’s obvious to me that an alien werewolf has , as you put it, “tickled your prostate”. There’s no shame in that, but the healing can’t begin until you are ready to admit that you were really asking for it. You stumbled out of the bar wearing that dress and those “fuck me” shoes. Of course alien werewolves are going to stick something up your butt. ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2010, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/xtisme-come-on-down-you-muppet/542300/154 "2010-06-08T00:50:41Z")
> [@ivan\_astikov](#): > > Doesn’t work like that. I had to make the effort to acquire it and read it. Anyone who wants to argue in good faith can do the same. Not interested enough to bother. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2010, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/xtisme-come-on-down-you-muppet/542300/155 "2010-06-08T00:52:00Z")
> [@ivan\_astikov](#): > > Hey, I’m here and functioning well enough to keep you lot coming back for more, so I wonder what that says about your cuntributions in this thread? It says “Hey, it’s fun to come and poke at the stupid.” As for me, I don’t see why I should care about the existence of aliens. And I don’t see why I should believe in conspiracy theories. So they really do exist and have been covered up. What can I do about it? How does it affect me? It just leads to worrying about something you can’t change. Why bother? ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2010, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/xtisme-come-on-down-you-muppet/542300/156 "2010-06-08T00:53:55Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > Beyond your being middle aged and and still sponging off your mother, what else do we need to know about you? Now, now. No need to get personal, dickwad. Just because your mum wont give you the steam off her piss. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2010, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/xtisme-come-on-down-you-muppet/542300/157 "2010-06-08T00:59:53Z")
> [@ivan\_astikov](#): > > Oh, do pardon me! I didn’t realise I had to have the Miller Seal Of Approval to post on this messageboard. I’m going to have to pay attention to everything you say and strive to be a better Dope member! :rolleyes: See, I get what you’re doing here. You’re hearing something you don’t want to hear, and instead of considering it, you’re lashing out at the person saying it. This is an understandable reaction, it’s a common reaction, but it’s not really a helpful reaction. Consider this: you have a point of view as regards aliens visiting this planet. You want others to adopt this point of view - this is why you brought up Dolan’s book in the first place, no? But you haven’t really made any headway on that, have you? You’ve managed to broach the subject in such a way that every single respondent to this thread has attacked you, with one exception: me. I’m the only guy in this thread who’s not using it as an excuse to stick it to you. And this is the reaction I get from you: > [@](#): > > Yes, it’s just you and your poncy way of thinking. That’s not really a powerful incentive for me to continue being the closest thing you’re ever going to get to a friend in this thread, is it? In fact, the most likely reaction to this sort of thing is for me to go over and join the large crowd of people who are just pointing and laughing at you. If you’re unable to avoid simply alienating the one person who’s actually taking the time to talk to you, how likely are you going to be to make any progress on getting anyone on this board to change their mind, particularly about something as major as alien visitations? Pretty unlikely, I’d say! With that in mind, maybe it would be a good idea to listen to someone who’s got a pretty good idea of how to fit in on the boards, and how to present an argument that other people will view as, if not persuasive, than at least serious. Because you haven’t really exhibited much of a faculty for either of these tasks. > [@](#): > > Give your fingers a rest; you’re just coming across like a self-important prick. Which just goes to demonstrate that I’m able to accurately project my persona through a purely textual medium. Since you keep objecting to people making assumptions about you based on what you’ve written here, this is clearly a skill that you lack. If you listened to my advice, though, and practiced diligently, you might yet be able to pick it up! Give it a try, **ivan**. The only thing you have to lose is the reputation you’ve created for yourself here, and hanging on to that really isn’t going to do you any favors in the long run. ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2010, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/xtisme-come-on-down-you-muppet/542300/158 "2010-06-08T01:14:09Z")
This is where you are reading me wrong. My “reputation” on here is far less important to me, than it is to you. ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2010, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/xtisme-come-on-down-you-muppet/542300/159 "2010-06-08T01:22:19Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > If you’re unable to avoid simply alienating the one person who’s actually taking the time to talk to you, how likely are you going to be to make any progress on getting anyone on this board to change their mind, particularly about something as major as alien visitations? First off, I’m not completely sure that **Ivan** is viewing this is as something “major”. Looking at his responses, he is reveling in us making fun of him. Why? Because it’s _funny_. Second, I oddly respect that. Sometimes people take a message board too seriously. I think he is having just as much fun egging on the insults as we are throwing 'em at him. Again, I oddly respect that. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2010, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/xtisme-come-on-down-you-muppet/542300/160 "2010-06-08T01:22:50Z")
> [@ivan\_astikov](#): > > This is where you are reading me wrong. My “reputation” on here is far less important to me, than it is to you. I didn’t say it _was_ important to you. I’m trying to describe why it _should_ be important to you. Look, a few simple questions: You think aliens have visited the Earth, right? You think more people should understand this simple fact, right? Specifically, you think the people on this website should understand this fact, right? So, why are you behaving in a manner that’s absolutely guaranteed to make people dismiss everything you have to say? How does that help you achieve any of your first three goals up there? Wouldn’t it make much more sense to post here in such a way that people are _more_ likely to listen to and think about your ideas? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/xtisme-come-on-down-you-muppet/542300.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/xtisme-come-on-down-you-muppet/542300.md?page=9)