# xtisme, come on down, you muppet! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 7, 2010, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/xtisme-come-on-down-you-muppet/542300 "2010-06-07T17:06:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 1\ **Showing post:** 470
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2010, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/xtisme-come-on-down-you-muppet/542300/470 "2010-06-14T14:04:40Z")
Here ya go. This is the start of my blatant braggadacio, post #132. > [@Ok, if I shouldn't \_shoot\_ the intruder, then...?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-if-i-shouldnt-_shoot_-the-intruder-then/482060/132): > > Yes, because in that moment when you wake up in the middle of the night hearing noises downstairs, and the only other person who should be in the house is lying beside you, all those things would go through your mind. > > The point is, to make your house that much of a deterrent for all except the homicidal nutjob burglar - who tends to just kick your front door in while you are having your tea - rather than have to worry about what you will do if someone gets in. My next contribution was post #223. > [@](#): > > As a long ex-burglar, I can say that all myself and my accomplices ever wanted to do was get your badly protected property as quickly and as effortlessly as possible. I’ve met a few burglars in jails, and the ones who actually wrecked up shit for fun and giggles, or went out intent to do physical harm for the same reasons, were very, very rare. When ever I entered a property, my first action would be to make sure I had an escape route ready in case anyone came in. Then I would start gathering anything of value into one spot. I’d carry no weapons, other than the tools of my trade(screwdriver, crowbar mostly), which were usually hidden in a safe spot before entering, but if anyone had got between my and my escape route, they would have definitely needed to forcibly restrain me to prevent me leaving. I guess I was very lucky, and that scenario only ever occurred once, when I was aged about 14. I managed to talk the guy into going outside and made a run for it, losing a shoe in the process. If you’ve ever tried running in one platform shoe\*, you haven’t lived( I’m giving my age away here.). > > Even funnier thing is, my mam had just bought me the shoes, so I had to tell her I’d been chased up a railway embankments by some ruffians. The next day, she had me, my dad and 2 younger brothers scouring the embankments looking for this shoe. I tried my best to feign interst for half a hour or so, until my dad got pissed off and dragged us all home. > > I never told them the truth until about 10 years later. > > - Burgling lesson number one learned. Wear the right footwear. Here’s my next post in that thread, #233. > [@Ok, if I shouldn't \_shoot\_ the intruder, then...?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-if-i-shouldnt-_shoot_-the-intruder-then/482060/233): > > The main point I was trying to make is that a little home security will usually put off all but the most determined thieves, and you’d never have to consider cleaning up blood out of your new sheepskin rug, or possibly having your own spilled. I live in a country where guns are far less easy to get hold of, but if things were different and I was still a burglar, why wouldn’t I take a gun, just in case you’ve got one? The chances of you surprising me are far less than the other way round, as I am operating on heightened senses, and you have probably just woke up! Care to point out the clear examples of the things you are accusing me of thus far, Scumpup? --- _[View the full topic](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/xtisme-come-on-down-you-muppet/542300)._