# Ye Olde SDMB Society of Fancy-Pantses and Debutantes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 2, 2003, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ye-olde-sdmb-society-of-fancy-pantses-and-debutantes/146126 "2003-01-02T00:56:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Greywolf73](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d9b06d/32.png) [@Greywolf73](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greywolf73)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2003, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ye-olde-sdmb-society-of-fancy-pantses-and-debutantes/146126/101 "2003-01-03T01:41:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Johnny L.A. \* > \*\*Has he been flogged? \*\* A flogging? Oh my! Will this be a public flogging? Is it a formal affair? Oh dear, a flogging tonight and I haven’t a thing to wear. Well, I suppose I could have Lavinia, my maid servant throw something together quickly while I’m attending the ball. I can’t imagine she would have any trouble finding a dozen yards of dark blue Parisian silk and French lace… _wanders off, sloshing brandy on the antique Persian rug_ Oh, **Sir Jontwick** , what a positively beautiful codpiece you are wearing! It’s stunning! _leans over for a closer look and loses balance_ Oh my. Perhaps I’ve had a bit too much brandy… ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2003, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ye-olde-sdmb-society-of-fancy-pantses-and-debutantes/146126/102 "2003-01-03T01:49:08Z")
My dear **Lady Greywolf** , how nice of you to notice! And indeed, it’s jolly spiffing of you to brandy the carpet! The house staff can wring it out later for a festive imbibement of their own! **Helloo, everyone! Come spill some brandy over here! We mustn’t forget the staff!** _pouring brandy on the rug_ **Jontwick Latherford Alpengorf** Earl of Cloves ---
**Author:** ![I\_can\_t\_believe\_that\_s\_butter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@I\_can\_t\_believe\_that\_s\_butter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_can_t_believe_that_s_butter)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2003, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ye-olde-sdmb-society-of-fancy-pantses-and-debutantes/146126/103 "2003-01-03T01:53:51Z")
_obliges in remembering the staff, adding a rum and coke to the already massive stain_ ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2003, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ye-olde-sdmb-society-of-fancy-pantses-and-debutantes/146126/104 "2003-01-03T01:56:58Z")
Heyo **Juniper** , you got the right meat to serve with that brandy, eh? ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2003, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ye-olde-sdmb-society-of-fancy-pantses-and-debutantes/146126/105 "2003-01-03T01:58:56Z")
Ah, **iampunha**. So nice to see you clothed. ---
**Author:** ![monica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a183cd/32.png) [@monica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monica)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2003, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ye-olde-sdmb-society-of-fancy-pantses-and-debutantes/146126/106 "2003-01-03T01:59:32Z")
I simply must join this club! Jestar, Dahhhling, do create a lovely name for me, please. If no one objects, I would also very much like to bring along my dear little dog, the Princessa Mia. She has been raised with the utmost consideration of the position of her ancestors as companions to the royalty of Madagascar. Oh, we shall all have a smashing good time! ---
**Author:** ![Juniper200](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@Juniper200](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Juniper200)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2003, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ye-olde-sdmb-society-of-fancy-pantses-and-debutantes/146126/107 "2003-01-03T02:18:20Z")
Oh my stars and garters, the nerve of that **iampunha** ruffian! Are you fine gentlemen to allow this baseborn yokel to treat me thusly? Will not one of you challenge him to a duel to defend my honor? Really! The nerve of the lower classes never ceases to amaze and disgust me! Why, I might enjoy a bit of good-natured ribbing from some of the younger and more dashing members of the Society, but that someone of this **iampunha** ’s class and moral fibre should speak to me in such a manner is most unthinkable! ---
**Author:** ![Kilt-wearin\_man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/82dd89/32.png) [@Kilt-wearin\_man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kilt-wearin_man)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2003, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ye-olde-sdmb-society-of-fancy-pantses-and-debutantes/146126/108 "2003-01-03T03:01:03Z")
You there! Stop annoying Her Grace or I shall have to beat you about the head and neck with a pickled herring! ---
**Author:** ![I\_can\_t\_believe\_that\_s\_butter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@I\_can\_t\_believe\_that\_s\_butter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_can_t_believe_that_s_butter)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2003, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ye-olde-sdmb-society-of-fancy-pantses-and-debutantes/146126/109 "2003-01-03T05:35:44Z")
I’ve no pickled herring; these cursed Bertie Botts’ sardine jellybeans will have to suffice in the current absence of a duel! ---
**Author:** ![CasperQ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@CasperQ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CasperQ)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2003, 8:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ye-olde-sdmb-society-of-fancy-pantses-and-debutantes/146126/110 "2003-01-03T08:13:39Z")
[sub]Totters into the room with masque and curls askew; tipsily ogles **Sir Jontwick’s** codpiece and slides (with grace, of course) onto the chaise lounge reserved for her by the fire.[/sub] I must say, simply a crush at that masqued ball. [sub]Wrinkles her nose at the scent of pickled herring and eyes askance at **Kilt-wearin’ Man** [/sub] Now, loves, I’m not quite sure what transpired _[sub](it really **was** quite a crush you see_[/sub] but I now find myself the wife of the ArchDuke of Kaspar, heir to the kingdom of Netherworld. You may all now refer to me as the _ **Duchess of Kaspar** _. In spite of the fact that he died suddenly _[sub]glares at the gossipmongers to quell their scurrilous rumors of speculation about how that ‘unfortunate incident’ happened_[/sub] I am assured by Their Majesties that the title and the estate [sub] and any and all fortunes contained or attached therein [/sub] are rightfully mine. Ah, the tediums of our station, wouldn’t you agree? ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2003, 8:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ye-olde-sdmb-society-of-fancy-pantses-and-debutantes/146126/111 "2003-01-03T08:30:35Z")
This fiber’ere? It ain’t moral, it’s burlap! Now c’mere an’ I’ll show you how long my class is… ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2003, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ye-olde-sdmb-society-of-fancy-pantses-and-debutantes/146126/112 "2003-01-03T13:13:33Z")
[sub]wanders back into salon, wondering how I got naked, then remembers, I’m a bear, I’m always naked![/sub] 😃 That was fun, I must say. Anyone else up for bare…err…bear naked wrestling? Now, where are those cookies and the beer? ---
**Author:** ![Kn\_ckers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/96bed5/32.png) [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2003, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ye-olde-sdmb-society-of-fancy-pantses-and-debutantes/146126/113 "2003-01-03T15:13:57Z")
_minces delicately in, fanning herself and slightly out of breath_ Oh, my, it seems I’ve arrived a bit less punctually than one might have wished! I _do_ apologize, only I was accosted by a number of most coarse and vulgar young sailors, on the way here. I have only now escaped their crude quips and sallies. I must say, I was _most_ scandalized, and it is such a _relief_ to have found this haven of propriety at last… What is this mention of nudity I hear? ---
**Author:** ![Kilt-wearin\_man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/82dd89/32.png) [@Kilt-wearin\_man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kilt-wearin_man)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2003, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ye-olde-sdmb-society-of-fancy-pantses-and-debutantes/146126/114 "2003-01-03T17:17:51Z")
‘Tis only a bit o’ th’ common rabble that has fownd his way in froom th’ street… Now, then, can someone find me a pickled herring? Preferrably on a stick, better t’ beat th’ rabble about th’ head an’ neck with? No? Ach, weill, just a stick’ll worrk as weill… ---
**Author:** ![Greywolf73](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d9b06d/32.png) [@Greywolf73](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greywolf73)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2003, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ye-olde-sdmb-society-of-fancy-pantses-and-debutantes/146126/115 "2003-01-03T18:03:06Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Kn_ckers \* > \*\*_minces delicately in, fanning herself and slightly out of breath_ > > Oh, my, it seems I’ve arrived a bit less punctually than one might have wished! I _do_ apologize, only I was accosted by a number of most coarse and vulgar young sailors, on the way here. I have only now escaped their crude quips and sallies. I must say, I was _most_ scandalized, and it is such a _relief_ to have found this haven of propriety at last… > > What is this mention of nudity I hear? \*\* Oh, my dear! What a dreadful experience that must have been! You should sit down. Have some brandy. A group of our most esteemed male companions should be dispatched forthwith to find those savage brutes and defend your honor! _whispers_ \* Now about those sailors…were they all tall, muscular and tanned? Did any of them follow you here? \* _Peers out window discreetly_ ---
**Author:** ![I\_can\_t\_believe\_that\_s\_butter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@I\_can\_t\_believe\_that\_s\_butter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_can_t_believe_that_s_butter)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2003, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ye-olde-sdmb-society-of-fancy-pantses-and-debutantes/146126/116 "2003-01-03T18:31:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kilt-wearin’ man \* > \*\*‘Tis only a bit o’ th’ common rabble that has fownd his way in froom th’ street… > > Now, then, can someone find me a pickled herring? Preferrably on a stick, better t’ beat th’ rabble about th’ head an’ neck with? No? Ach, weill, just a stick’ll worrk as weill… \*\* I’ve plenty of these spent caviar jars that you’re welcome to; it won’t be the same, but they’ll cause a nasty bump on the head if thrown correctly…_hic_ ---
**Author:** ![Kn\_ckers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/96bed5/32.png) [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2003, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ye-olde-sdmb-society-of-fancy-pantses-and-debutantes/146126/117 "2003-01-03T21:04:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Greywolf73 \* > \*\*Oh, my dear! What a dreadful experience that must have been! You should sit down. Have some brandy. A group of our most esteemed male companions should be dispatched forthwith to find those savage brutes and defend your honor! > > _whispers_ \* Now about those sailors…were they all tall, muscular and tanned? Did any of them follow you here? \* > > _Peers out window discreetly_ \*\* Thank you so much, I’ll just have a thimbleful of brandy, please - to steady my wits, you know… No, a bigger thimbleful than that, if you would. Lovely. As for the sailors, indeed, they were all tall and brawny - rippling muscles all over; broad, tanned chests; taught, firm buttocks tightly clad in fitted trousers… At least, that was how it appeared out of the corner of my eye, as I hurried away! I assure you, I gave them no more than a moment’s glance! But I do confess that I had the most unusual feeling of being watched as I came in just now, so I cannot entirely discount the possibility that they may have followed me… My, it’s warm in here! Perhaps we should open a window! ---
**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2003, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ye-olde-sdmb-society-of-fancy-pantses-and-debutantes/146126/118 "2003-01-04T00:23:51Z")
My dear **Lady Kn\*ckers** …please allow me to lend you my fan. On second thought, maybe I should keep it… it can’t have escaped your notice that **Jontwick Latherford Alpengorf** is leaning out yon window to check out the possibility that those naves actually FOLLOWED you here…and verily, he doth have FINE…er, pantaloons… ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2003, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ye-olde-sdmb-society-of-fancy-pantses-and-debutantes/146126/119 "2003-01-04T01:05:29Z")
**Lady ScottiDeNoodge** , you should see me in a kilt! Unfortunately, my Highland attire is currently residing in a box within a box within a structure in the fair city of Bellingham – a city in the north-western part of the Colonies. Would that I had my fine broadsword, which is also residing in the Great Green North, with which to teach those salty seamen some manners! I shall have to intimidate them with my enormous codpiece, and challenge them to some fisticuffs! _What ho, you scallawags! I shouldn’t doubt that you are hiding, you curs!_ ---
**Author:** ![Juniper200](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@Juniper200](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Juniper200)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2003, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ye-olde-sdmb-society-of-fancy-pantses-and-debutantes/146126/120 "2003-01-04T02:50:16Z")
Fisticuffs! Fisticuffs! Ladies, _do_ let’s gather in a gasping, giggling gaggle to take in the festivities! Perhaps later we can fawn over the victors while they fetch us refreshments! It will be the most _thrilling_ evening on record! Now, Lady Kn\*ckers, you must tell us more about the outrage you suffered at the hands of those sailors. My maid has the most darling idea that the expression of fears and emotions heals the troubled soul! Isn’t it simply _ludicrous_? We _must_ try this proletarian “self-expression”, if only for its value as a parlour game! Did you find their hands rough and callused but surprisingly gentle? And what of their liquid, spellbinding eyes? Did they bespeak burning passion as they hid a dark secret? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ye-olde-sdmb-society-of-fancy-pantses-and-debutantes/146126.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ye-olde-sdmb-society-of-fancy-pantses-and-debutantes/146126.md?page=7)