# Yeah, I'm pretty much an idiot, yes? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 6, 2010, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yeah-im-pretty-much-an-idiot-yes/545705 "2010-07-06T13:02:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 14
**Author:** ![Cuckoorex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ad7895/32.png) [@Cuckoorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cuckoorex)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2010, 8:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yeah-im-pretty-much-an-idiot-yes/545705/261 "2010-07-28T08:19:13Z")
[quote=“Cat\_Whisperer, post:260, topic:545705”] > [@Telemark](#): > > \ > > > [@](#): > > > > Lauren, I think, WANTS to have a true friend, AND a mate, some sort of sugar daddy, and as much as it frustrates me, I’m likely to be the friend again. I most likely will end up in that role, and I’ll adapt to it. It just really, really messed with my head when she got more intimate with me; I really thought that meant more than casual fun, but I guess not. > > You mean nothing to her. Move on. Believe this. Prepare to groan. Lauren texted me tonight, asking if I was going to be out, and if I wanted to meet up with her. So of course I did, which should surprise no one at this point. Stay with me here, please; Lauren told me that she had earlier counted the number of men she’d slept with in the past few months, and came up with 8. I must have had some kind of look on my face at that point, because she grabbed my shoulder and said, “You do NOT want to be on that list. That list is a bad thing. You’re a non-creepy guy that I really like being with, that list is not for you.” Which makes me think she resents the guys she does sleep with, for one thing. It also makes me think she really does want something like a deeper friendship with me, or at least that she sees value in keeping our relationship (mostly) non-sexual. Which basically means it’s the end of the road (still) but she does seem to like me as a friend. Remember how I said she’s never asked anything about me? Tonight she did, and she actually asked for my “life story.” I am actually pretty proud of my response to her on this one; “I’m an artist, I love my family. Grew up Catholic, became Born-Again, I taught a bible study for nine years, and now I’m an atheist. Anything more, you’ll have to earn.” She smiled at that and said, “Fair enough.” > [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > > [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > > > just ask Mary out on a proper date ( > > Aaaand, who the bumbaclaat is Mary? I quit this shit. I can’t keep up, and my Team Ashley tshirt is already out of style. Definitely don’t give up on Team Ashley yet; She may not be looking for commitment with anyone right now, but she’s still probably the most sane one, and we’re going to go out for lunch later this week. She changed her hairstyle this past weekend, and has a kind of short bob-cut, or whatever it’s called. Very cute. Lauren gets all the press, for the same reason you only ever read about bad news; but Ashley is NOT out of the picture. > [@](#): > > Mary is teh new hawtness. I’m pulling for Mary at this point. Mary is definitely a contender, but honestly I know the least about her at this point, so I’m going to have to spend more time with her. I do know she is involved in local charities and just genuinely seems to be a good person, along with being very attractive. That scores a lot of points with me. I definitely want to get to know her better. So \*why \*do I keep going back to Lauren, every time she calls or texts? Yeah, there was the hook of the initial intimate moments or whatever, but despite my misgivings and the likely reality that I’m never going to be with her beyond what I’ve already experienced, I DO like her and spending time with her. We have a great rapport and we already have some interesting memories together. I don’t really consider her a contender anymore, but the more I know her, the more I care about her. She’s very frank about admitting that she’s fucked up, in fact she mentioned it tonight again, during the conversation about how I’m better off NOT being on the list of men she’s slept with. I’m thinking it’s the Rescuer part of me, it keeps getting drawn to her. ---
**Author:** ![Lobot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ce7236/32.png) [@Lobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobot)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2010, 8:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yeah-im-pretty-much-an-idiot-yes/545705/262 "2010-07-28T08:59:26Z")
Seven pages. SEVEN PAGES! And still nothing but passive indecision and protracted drama. **Cuckoorex** , I suspect you (on some level) enjoy semi-pursuing women who are not real prospects because you prefer to live in anticipation than to actually have a real relationship. Discussing the ins and outs may make this fantasy seem more real, but it’s not–it’s all still in your head at this point. For one thing, the pseudo-relationship with Lauren that you’re cultivating is destructive because it distracts you from looking for sane, stable women who offer the potential for a real, mature relationship. You’re rationalising your attraction to her, but in truth it’s more likely that you simply see Lauren as a safe alternative to someone who is scary and intimidating because they’re a real adult. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2010, 9:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yeah-im-pretty-much-an-idiot-yes/545705/263 "2010-07-28T09:08:23Z")
I’m getting ready to call shenanigans… ---
**Author:** ![Cuckoorex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ad7895/32.png) [@Cuckoorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cuckoorex)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2010, 9:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yeah-im-pretty-much-an-idiot-yes/545705/264 "2010-07-28T09:22:36Z")
> [@Lobot](#): > > Seven pages. SEVEN PAGES! And still nothing but passive indecision and protracted drama. > > **Cuckoorex** , I suspect you (on some level) enjoy semi-pursuing women who are not real prospects because you prefer to live in anticipation than to actually have a real relationship. Discussing the ins and outs may make this fantasy seem more real, but it’s not–it’s all still in your head at this point. > > For one thing, the pseudo-relationship with Lauren that you’re cultivating is destructive because it distracts you from looking for sane, stable women who offer the potential for a real, mature relationship. You’re rationalising your attraction to her, but in truth it’s more likely that you simply see Lauren as a safe alternative to someone who is scary and intimidating because they’re a real adult. You may have a point or two there. I know I’m rationalizing when it comes to Lauren, but let’s get something straight; it’s not a pseudo-relationship. It’s a real relationship, but I’m still not sure how to define it precisely. For better or worse, Lauren is currently a part of my life and even if it’s only friend territory from here on out, there’s nothing “pseudo” about it. My big challenge right now is to not get carried away and think there’s something more when there likely is not. I do have that tendency sometimes. ---
**Author:** ![Cuckoorex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ad7895/32.png) [@Cuckoorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cuckoorex)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2010, 9:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yeah-im-pretty-much-an-idiot-yes/545705/265 "2010-07-28T09:29:09Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > I’m getting ready to call shenanigans… On what basis? I mean, believe what you want, but I’ll swear on my father’s grave that NOTHING except the names are made up. I may be deluded as far as my \*interpretations \*of their words and actions, but I have been completely open and honest here. Probably more than I should have, but the anonymity of the internet is very liberating when it comes to confessional moments. ---
**Author:** ![Lobot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ce7236/32.png) [@Lobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobot)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2010, 10:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yeah-im-pretty-much-an-idiot-yes/545705/266 "2010-07-28T10:39:40Z")
> [@Cuckoorex](#): > > You may have a point or two there. I know I’m rationalizing when it comes to Lauren, but let’s get something straight; it’s not a pseudo-relationship. It’s a real relationship, but I’m still not sure how to define it precisely. For better or worse, Lauren is currently a part of my life and even if it’s only friend territory from here on out, there’s nothing “pseudo” about it. My big challenge right now is to not get carried away and think there’s something more when there likely is not. I do have that tendency sometimes. Well, let me be more specific: I meant “pseudo-romantic relationship”. I’ve been there and it’s a good way to torment yourself with the bonus of delaying you from looking elsewhere. Odds are, Lauren wants a kind of “gay friend”–a guy who’s emotionally available for her and who’s always willing to support her and be there for her… when she wants, while she screws other guys. She wants all the perks of a romantic relationship with you, without offering you anything substantial in return. She’s practically said as much. That’s not a friendship. That’s a very dysfunctional relationship for both of you. Don’t fall into that trap. ---
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2010, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yeah-im-pretty-much-an-idiot-yes/545705/267 "2010-07-28T12:27:26Z")
This. Thread. Is. Too. Much. Somebody needs to be shot. I don’t care who. ---
**Author:** ![Lobot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ce7236/32.png) [@Lobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobot)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2010, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yeah-im-pretty-much-an-idiot-yes/545705/268 "2010-07-28T12:28:46Z")
So close to the perfect haiku! ---
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2010, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yeah-im-pretty-much-an-idiot-yes/545705/269 "2010-07-28T12:38:36Z")
This. Thread. Is.Too. Much. Somebody needs shooting dead now. It matters not who. ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2010, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yeah-im-pretty-much-an-idiot-yes/545705/270 "2010-07-28T13:09:21Z")
At least his fake love unlike that of Six and Skald is in the real world ---
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2010, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yeah-im-pretty-much-an-idiot-yes/545705/271 "2010-07-28T13:27:59Z")
Nothing is real world if you have no clue what’s what when it slaps your face ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2010, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yeah-im-pretty-much-an-idiot-yes/545705/272 "2010-07-28T13:43:33Z")
> [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](#): > > Nothing is real world > if you have no clue what’s what > when it slaps your face That’s beautiful. No disrespect intended, by the way, just a li’l jest. I’m sure your love is as lovey as love can be. ---
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2010, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yeah-im-pretty-much-an-idiot-yes/545705/273 "2010-07-28T13:52:35Z")
My lovey love loves Like nothing Cuckoorex finds with buzzing bar flies ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2010, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yeah-im-pretty-much-an-idiot-yes/545705/274 "2010-07-28T14:41:01Z")
And now back to the OP Young hotties ignored Codependent MILFs galore He blocks his own cock ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2010, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yeah-im-pretty-much-an-idiot-yes/545705/275 "2010-07-28T14:50:22Z")
> [@Cuckoorex](#): > > Prepare to groan. > > Lauren texted me tonight, asking if I was going to be out, and if I wanted to meet up with her. So of course I did, which should surprise no one at this point. Stay with me here, please; Lauren told me that she had earlier counted the number of men she’d slept with in the past few months, and came up with 8. I must have had some kind of look on my face at that point, because she grabbed my shoulder and said, “You do NOT want to be on that list. That list is a bad thing. You’re a non-creepy guy that I really like being with, that list is not for you.” Which makes me think she resents the guys she does sleep with, for one thing. It also makes me think she really does want something like a deeper friendship with me, or at least that she sees value in keeping our relationship (mostly) non-sexual. Which basically means it’s the end of the road (still) but she does seem to like me as a friend. Remember how I said she’s never asked anything about me? Tonight she did, and she actually asked for my “life story.” I am actually pretty proud of my response to her on this one; “I’m an artist, I love my family. Grew up Catholic, became Born-Again, I taught a bible study for nine years, and now I’m an atheist. Anything more, you’ll have to earn.” She smiled at that and said, “Fair enough.” No groan, just a complete lack of empathy with you at this point. Sorry, you’re on your own if you’re gonna act like this. There’s no hope for you. ---
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2010, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yeah-im-pretty-much-an-idiot-yes/545705/276 "2010-07-28T14:52:37Z")
Cuckoorex fears sex 'cause of inexperience and misses practice ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2010, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yeah-im-pretty-much-an-idiot-yes/545705/277 "2010-07-28T17:26:39Z")
Do you have the time To listen to me whine, to Talk of everything and Nothing all at once I am one of those melo- Dramatic fools, neu- rotic to the core No doubts about it. Sometimes I give myself the Creeps. Sometimes my mind Plays tricks on me. It all keeps Adding up. I think I’m cracking u-up. Am I just paranoid or Am I just stoned ---
**Author:** ![PotLuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bbce88/32.png) [@PotLuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PotLuck)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2010, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yeah-im-pretty-much-an-idiot-yes/545705/278 "2010-07-28T17:28:40Z")
> [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](#): > > Cuckoorex fears sex > 'cause of inexperience > and misses practice This, plus **Telemark** ’s remarks above. This thread has inspired me to stop picking apart the persistent advances of the handsome young man who’s been pursuing me, make a date with him for tonight and let the chips fall where they may. These seven pages of angst were mortifyingly familiar and have scared me more than the thought of being hurt or disappointed. You can’t make an omelette without breaking a few eggs, you can’t win if you don’t play, and you don’t get a partner if you don’t step away from the “friend” who’ll never like you “that way” and go on a fucking date with someone who does. ---
**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2010, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yeah-im-pretty-much-an-idiot-yes/545705/279 "2010-07-28T17:32:32Z")
> [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](#): > > Young hotties ignored > Codependent MILFs galore > He blocks his own cock No more entries, folks; we have a winner! ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2010, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yeah-im-pretty-much-an-idiot-yes/545705/280 "2010-07-28T17:43:19Z")
> [@PotLuck](#): > > This thread has inspired me to stop picking apart the persistent advances of the handsome young man who’s been pursuing me, make a date with him for tonight and let the chips fall where they may. These seven pages of angst were mortifyingly familiar and have scared me more than the thought of being hurt or disappointed. > > You can’t make an omelette without breaking a few eggs, you can’t win if you don’t play, and you don’t get a partner if you don’t step away from the “friend” who’ll never like you “that way” and go on a fucking date with someone who does. I wish I’d been able to read this thread fifteen-odd years ago when I was dating a woman who depending on the time of day (or the phases of the moon, or whatever) wanted to be my friend, or maybe friend-and-something-else, or maybe boyfriend, or maybe didn’t want to be seen around me at all. I never got laid either, at least by her. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yeah-im-pretty-much-an-idiot-yes/545705.md?page=13) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yeah-im-pretty-much-an-idiot-yes/545705.md?page=15)