# Yeah she's ugly, yet he's with HER. Hmmm... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 8, 2000, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yeah-shes-ugly-yet-hes-with-her-hmmm/32459 "2000-09-08T04:18:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yeah-shes-ugly-yet-hes-with-her-hmmm/32459/1 "2000-09-08T04:18:21Z")
I personally have always been amused when I hear women talk about an ex and say “I saw his new gf, and she’s UGLY! I felt so much better!” My mental reaction is always “Hmm. She’s ugly, yet he’s with her, not you. What does that say about YOU and your personality?” Anyone know what I’m talking about? ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yeah-shes-ugly-yet-hes-with-her-hmmm/32459/2 "2000-09-08T04:24:58Z")
Yep, I hear it all the time. I usually just snicker quietly to myself and leave it at that. ---
**Author:** ![Wump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ed655f/32.png) [@Wump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wump)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yeah-shes-ugly-yet-hes-with-her-hmmm/32459/3 "2000-09-08T04:26:05Z")
yeah, i know exactly what ur talkin bout, but i don’t understand why they’re so happy about it, neither will i try to, women are just too damn confusling… ---
**Author:** ![Lazarus7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/67e7ee/32.png) [@Lazarus7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lazarus7)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yeah-shes-ugly-yet-hes-with-her-hmmm/32459/4 "2000-09-08T04:27:10Z")
I hear you !.. best to stay away from pointing that out to her … you are liable to get 6 inches of boot up yer hiney!! ---
**Author:** ![Satan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yeah-shes-ugly-yet-hes-with-her-hmmm/32459/5 "2000-09-08T04:32:01Z")
Only one response need be said: MRROWWWWWWW!! * * * Yer pal, Satan - Commissioner, [The Teeming Minions](http://football.fantasysports.yahoo.com/full/show?lid=39428&page=leaguehome) \*TIME ELAPSED SINCE I QUIT SMOKING: Four months, four weeks, two days, 2 hours, 26 minutes and 21 seconds. 6084 cigarettes not smoked, saving $760.51. Extra time with Drain Bead: 3 weeks, 3 hours, 0 minutes. \***“I’m a big Genesis fan.”-David B. _(Amen, brother!)_** ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yeah-shes-ugly-yet-hes-with-her-hmmm/32459/6 "2000-09-08T04:40:29Z")
Thankfully, my ex and I parted on good terms. I can’t imagine thinking that, much less saying that, about another girl. If I ever do… gosh, what a bitch I must have become. ---
**Author:** ![Gozu\_Tashoya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7993a0/32.png) [@Gozu\_Tashoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gozu_Tashoya)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yeah-shes-ugly-yet-hes-with-her-hmmm/32459/7 "2000-09-08T06:14:48Z")
Yeah, I used to joke that my ex-girlfriend _never_ went out with an attractive guy. The inevitable reaction would be a look that said “Um, you’re saying that you’re…” and I’d nod and give them a look that said, “Yes, yes I am.” _sigh_ Nothing like self-deprecation to make one feel good about oneself… 😛 ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 10:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yeah-shes-ugly-yet-hes-with-her-hmmm/32459/8 "2000-09-08T10:00:01Z")
Nah, none of the female-esque people I know follow that sort of behavior. They mostly use the fact that their ex is dating someone else to hate themselves more. Theatre people… what a weird bunch… ---
**Author:** ![JTR](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ee59a6/32.png) [@JTR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JTR)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 10:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yeah-shes-ugly-yet-hes-with-her-hmmm/32459/9 "2000-09-08T10:31:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lizard \* > **I personally have always been amused when I hear women talk about an ex and say “I saw his new gf, and she’s UGLY! I felt so much better!” My mental reaction is always “Hmm. She’s ugly, yet he’s with her, not you. What does that say about YOU and your personality?”…** There’s an old joke about marriage that goes something like this: Marriage is like buying a house. The first time you do it, you do it because you 've fallen in love with the pretty paint job on the outside. The second time you do it, you only do it after you’ve checked for termites in the attic. ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yeah-shes-ugly-yet-hes-with-her-hmmm/32459/10 "2000-09-08T19:56:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by AudreyK \* > \*\*Thankfully, my ex and I parted on good terms. I can’t imagine thinking that, much less saying that, about another girl. If I ever do… gosh, what a bitch I must have become. \*\* I’ve never had a relationship end very badly. But I haven’t had a lot of relationships, either. I know I don’t _want_ to ever have one end badly, that’s for sure. I _have_ recently dissolved a friendship because I figured out that this person, while pretending to be my friend, was really looking down on me the whole time. But that was different. Still wasn’t pleasant, tho. **JTR** - I will keep that in mind. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yeah-shes-ugly-yet-hes-with-her-hmmm/32459/11 "2000-09-08T19:56:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by AudreyK \* > \*\*Thankfully, my ex and I parted on good terms. I can’t imagine thinking that, much less saying that, about another girl. If I ever do… gosh, what a bitch I must have become. \*\* I’ve never had a relationship end very badly. But I haven’t had a lot of relationships, either. I know I don’t _want_ to ever have one end badly, that’s for sure. I _have_ recently dissolved a friendship because I figured out that this person, while pretending to be my friend, was really looking down on me the whole time. But that was different. Still wasn’t pleasant, tho. **JTR** - I will keep that in mind. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Shadowfox](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Shadowfox](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shadowfox)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yeah-shes-ugly-yet-hes-with-her-hmmm/32459/12 "2000-09-08T21:30:22Z")
My ex-husband dumped me for a woman who has been mistaken for a man on more than one occasion. No, I’m not making this up because I’m bitter or anything. She **really** is quite ugly. Needless to say, it really makes me wonder what the hell is wrong with me sometimes. ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yeah-shes-ugly-yet-hes-with-her-hmmm/32459/13 "2000-09-08T21:49:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Shadowfox \* > \*\*My ex-husband dumped me for a woman who has been mistaken for a man on more than one occasion. No, I’m not making this up because I’m bitter or anything. She **really** is quite ugly. Needless to say, it really makes me wonder what the hell is wrong with me sometimes. > \*\* Uh, maybe nothing is wrong with you, maybe he is actually looking for a guy to date and is doing it in incremental steps? ---
**Author:** ![kellibelli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e480ec/32.png) [@kellibelli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kellibelli)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yeah-shes-ugly-yet-hes-with-her-hmmm/32459/14 "2000-09-08T23:23:51Z")
Maybe being with you has made your ex a better person, and he looks past the shallow exterior to the wonderful person beneath. ---
**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yeah-shes-ugly-yet-hes-with-her-hmmm/32459/15 "2000-09-08T23:28:28Z")
Woo Hoo High Five, Xizor! I work with a woman who takes pride in the fact that her ex-boyfriend married a woman who is not very attractive. I don’t understand this myself, because it seems to me that if my ex chooses someone less attractive than me, it means that they must have lots of sterling qualities that I don’t have-otherwise, why would they dump me for her? Sure couldn’t be for shallow reasons, right? And since I am personally more interested in being an intelligent, good and witty person than being superficially attrractive, this would bother me. I have been lucky enough not to have been dumped in my life, but if I ever am I hope the woman is drop dead gorgeous, with no brains. That way I could justify the whole thing in my mind by being disgusted with my ex’s lack of valid priorities. ---
**Author:** ![oldscratch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@oldscratch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oldscratch)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yeah-shes-ugly-yet-hes-with-her-hmmm/32459/16 "2000-09-08T23:29:23Z")
Actually, what it can also say is that the ex is desperate for anyone and will go for the first thing they get. Or it could mean that they also have a nice personallity. My ex-girlfriends previous boyfrined was in my opinion ugly (he was pretty good on the stockton yardstick). That doesn’t mean he had a better personality than me. ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yeah-shes-ugly-yet-hes-with-her-hmmm/32459/17 "2000-09-08T23:29:55Z")
Yeah, but ugly-ish people tend to be much more intelligent, maybe that’s what they want now? ---
**Author:** ![24KaratGold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/2/cc9497/32.png) [@24KaratGold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/24KaratGold)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2000, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yeah-shes-ugly-yet-hes-with-her-hmmm/32459/18 "2000-09-09T01:09:01Z")
Following up on what handy says, I think that people who are considered physically not pretty, or even ugly, have to make up for it in other ways, and so often have really good personalities. Or they have really good, considerate hearts, or they are very witty and entertaining. Beauty fades, good personalities and the ability to have fun don’t. (And yes, I know it’s a nice post/sig match.) -Goldie Gentlemen DO prefer blondes – and with good reason! ---
**Author:** ![kellibelli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e480ec/32.png) [@kellibelli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kellibelli)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2000, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yeah-shes-ugly-yet-hes-with-her-hmmm/32459/19 "2000-09-09T01:12:39Z")
Hey Goldie! I wish you would post more! I am attracted in a physical way to big buff guys, but I am attracted mentally to tubby balding geeks. I love humor and smarts - so I expect those things in the geek package… Maybe men with ugly women are looking for something they thing an ugly woman would give them…loyalty? Fidelity? gratitude? I dunno. ---
**Author:** ![Geobabe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/geobabe/32/3908_2.png) [@Geobabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geobabe)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2000, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yeah-shes-ugly-yet-hes-with-her-hmmm/32459/20 "2000-09-09T01:43:56Z")
Well, I think it’s because if the next GF is less attractive than you, then the ex is moving down, not up, on the superficial social scale. And it’s an ego thing–you want to think that he will look at both of you and think, gee she’s so beautiful, why did I ever give her up? PLUS, you want the new GF to be insecure when you’re around. Listen, men are just as illogical as women, just in different areas… [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yeah-shes-ugly-yet-hes-with-her-hmmm/32459.md?page=2)