# Yes. Because I'm gay I'm just a cum-dripping manwhore. Nice to know. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 14, 2003, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-because-im-gay-im-just-a-cum-dripping-manwhore-nice-to-know/175248 "2003-05-14T18:12:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Potter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Potter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Potter)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2003, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-because-im-gay-im-just-a-cum-dripping-manwhore-nice-to-know/175248/81 "2003-05-19T06:14:13Z")
The OP was exact quotes as far as I could remember. I had been referred by the Occupational Health Clinic, as he would have seen if he’d taken the time to read my file despite his busy morning. I am fully aware that some people put themselves at risk, it is something that I’ve done many times when I was younger, although I’ve since learnt that crossing my fingers isn’t nearly enough. The doctor was preachy. I am fairly certain that I would’ve had the lecture had he read my file, as if I’m silly/misguided enough to allow myself to get a needlestick injury, I’m probably silly/misguided enough to have risky sex. Regardless of the fact that I protect myself whenever I’m aware that I’m going to be at such risk. The primary reason I’m annoyed at the doctor? Being aware of your HIV/HepC status is _important_. People should not have to face being judged or lectured when they are taking steps to be in control of their sexual health. The reason I was put at risk from a needlestick injury was because my client group will not go for tests as the unknown, to them, is infinitely preferable to what they see as a death sentence. So both conditions are rife. I was being responsible and I was judged because I was doing so. I’ve written a letter to the surgery suggesting that they send their doctors on HIV/STD counselling training, and have outlined why I think it’s important that they do. I’ve made it clear I’m not happy with the way my case was dealt with, including the matter of reading my notes. But that he didn’t read my notes is not the matter that I’m primarily unhappy with. I am TIRED of people’s opinions that gay men are just a bunch of wildly-boinking unsafe idiots. We’re not. I’m not. So I should not have to face the presumption that I am, anymore than anyone else. ---
**Author:** ![Flamsterette\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/41988e/32.png) [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2003, 7:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-because-im-gay-im-just-a-cum-dripping-manwhore-nice-to-know/175248/82 "2003-05-19T07:14:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by matt\_mcl \* > \*\*Sero- is a prefix referring to blood serum, or, in this context, the presence of HIV antibodies therein. (This is a lot more frequent in French, and to the extent that **scott evil** and I use it, it’s probably a calque - sorry.) > > Consequently, a serodiscordant relationship is one in which one partner is HIV- and the other is HIV+. To seroconvert means to become infected with HIV and consequently begin to test positive for it. \*\* Thanks for the information, **matt**. 🙂 F\_X ---
**Author:** ![JillGat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9fc29f/32.png) [@JillGat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JillGat)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2003, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-because-im-gay-im-just-a-cum-dripping-manwhore-nice-to-know/175248/83 "2003-05-19T18:32:10Z")
There’s a dilemma here in perspectives when looking at HIV prevention and HIV risk. I’ve worked in all angles of HIV/AIDS work for many years; testing and counseling, answering the hotline, direct patient care, community prevention education, research (seroprevalence and behavioral studies) and now HIV epidemiology for the last 8 years. I’ve worked in different parts of the world, too. And I’ve lost numerous friends and colleagues to this disease. Let me see if I can describe this dilemma without people misinterpreting what I’m saying. One of the early slogans in HIV education was: “It’s not _who you are_ but _what you do_ that puts you at risk for HIV infection”. The point here was to reduce stigma and discrimination by pointing out that AIDS doesn’t care if you’re gay or not. BUT this message is not completely accurate, either. It’s not Who You Are and it’s not even just What You Do, but also Who You Do It With that puts one at risk. You can have any kind of sex you want with a person who is uninfected and you will not get the virus. And depending on the saturation in the population from which you draw your sexual partners, your risk - statistically - varies. When a guy would call the hotline all panicky and say, “I did such and such (blow job/anal sex/whatever)… What are the chances I became infected with HIV?” My question back to him would be, “What are the chances your partner is infected?” If it was with a prostitute drug user, then the “chances” (though I don’t like putting odds on this kind of Russian roulette) are probably higher than if it was your live in partner (depending, of course, but you get what I’m saying?). We did seroprevalence studies in some gay bars (granted, not an unbiased sample of gay men, as many gay men don’t hang out in bars). We found 20% - 40% HIV infection rates in this population in our area. Similar studies done in straight bars in similar communities found less than 1% HIV infection in patrons. At least in THIS community, if one were to pick somebody up in a gay bar and have unprotected sex with them, they would be far more at risk for becoming infected than if they picked somebody up in a straight bar. This is not true everywhere, of course. In Botswana, 30% of heterosexual adults are infected, so you’d be at equal risk in the straight bars there. That said, a couple of gay men who are monogamous with each other, neither of whom is infected, can have _any kind of sex they want_ with each other and not be at risk for contracting HIV. It’s not what they do, it’s who they do it with. IF however, like Scott, you have an infected partner, it IS what you do that puts you at risk. They can have lots of kinds of sex and intimacy together without much risk, but other practices would put the seronegative partner at risk. And it is absolutely true that HIV doesn’t care if somebody is straight or gay. Insertive sexual intercourse with somebody who is infected - male or female - puts you at risk for contracting the virus. Stigma and discrimination are a problem in the gay community, partly because of HIV impacting them so heavily. Gay men, in many places, are still way disproportionately becoming infected with HIV and it would be irresponsible and dishonest and unethical not to tell young gay men the truth about this. They CAN protect themselves and still have sex and have lovers. But they should be educated about the impact that HIV has had and continues to have on their population. It’s a dilemma, because these messages can be misused to cause discrimination. But let’s be careful about the spin we put on everything. On another, but related note: Is it a good idea or such a badge of civic duty for everyone to be frequently tested for HIV? If you don’t continually put yourself at risk for HIV, then no - it’s a waste of health resources to keep testing. If you do have continual risky activity, then you should regularly test (or, say, in Scott’s situation with an HIV+ partner, it is understandable). If you do test every few months, then it makes sense that the person testing you is going to assume that you continually put yourself at risk. They are still an ignorant, ineffective counselor if they sound judgmental or punitive. If you’ve never been tested before for HIV and you’ve been sexually active, then by all means test. If you have had no real risky behavior, then you don’t need to keep testing for HIV any more than you need to keep testing for any of the muriad of other health conditions you possibly could have. I mean, be real. Oh, and wear your seatbelt, don’t ride with drunk drivers, quit smoking and get regular exercise. Jill ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2003, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-because-im-gay-im-just-a-cum-dripping-manwhore-nice-to-know/175248/84 "2003-05-20T17:23:48Z")
Thank you for again being a voice of reason, **Jill**. Esprix ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2003, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-because-im-gay-im-just-a-cum-dripping-manwhore-nice-to-know/175248/85 "2003-05-20T18:07:38Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by **Brutus** _ > > Would this be a good thread to extoll the virtues of celibacy? 😉 I’m thinking not… Esprix ---
**Author:** ![JillGat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9fc29f/32.png) [@JillGat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JillGat)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2003, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-because-im-gay-im-just-a-cum-dripping-manwhore-nice-to-know/175248/86 "2003-05-20T18:30:40Z")
Whew, at least I didn’t offend **Esprix**! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![KarmaComa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e36b37/32.png) [@KarmaComa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarmaComa)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2003, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-because-im-gay-im-just-a-cum-dripping-manwhore-nice-to-know/175248/87 "2003-05-20T18:47:23Z")
This reminds me of when I was getting shit for having slept with 10-15 people at age 22. Several jaws literally dropped when their owners heard this. The word “manwhore” came up several times. I was also equated with a walking STD – some people just have no clue. I’m straight! I can’t get STDs! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2003, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-because-im-gay-im-just-a-cum-dripping-manwhore-nice-to-know/175248/88 "2003-05-20T18:53:54Z")
You know, **KarmaCon** , you may be joking, but that’s really not that funny. ---
**Author:** ![KarmaComa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e36b37/32.png) [@KarmaComa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarmaComa)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2003, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-because-im-gay-im-just-a-cum-dripping-manwhore-nice-to-know/175248/89 "2003-05-20T19:27:58Z")
Yeah, but you should have seen these people. “What makes you think you don’t have STDs?” “I have safe sex and I get tested.” The difference between me and the OP is that I go (casual sex) -\> (death) and the OP goes (gay sex) -\> (casual sex with HIV+) -\> (death) in people’s minds. Besides, since when was satirizing ignorance not funny? ---
**Author:** ![jkusters](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/fbc32d/32.png) [@jkusters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jkusters)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2003, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-because-im-gay-im-just-a-cum-dripping-manwhore-nice-to-know/175248/90 "2003-05-20T19:43:06Z")
Two thoughts come to mind: 1. I don’t trust doctors. They don’t listen and they are not practical. This is why I always try to see Nurse Practicioners (and whlie confirming that the person I see is a N.P., I found out through the medical center’s web site that my N.P. specializes in women’s health and adolescent medicine, grows exotic plants, and was a colonel in the Army Reserve; gee, had I known all that I probably wouldn’t have been comfortable seeing her, but I’m glad I do). I find that N.P.s take more time to listen, are more interested in making sure they address the problem as opposed to finding the proper perscription, and suggests non-medical steps that can be taken to address the problem you’re seeing them for. For example, I went to the med center to deal with a skin rash I had. The doctor simply perscribed cortisone cream. The N.P. recognized it as a dry skin condition made worse by cold-weather behavioral changes (i.e., hotter showers), and suggested gentle exfoliation combined with medicated skin lotion, and perhaps taking cooler showers. Guess which approach solved the problem for the long term? 2. My N.P., when I had my first physical, said, “I recommend that all of my sexually active patients get tested for HIV.” We then talked, in general terms, about risky behavior and how that would affect how often I should get tested. During the discussion, the fact that I had been with a same-sex partner for several years came up, and the only thing she said was to make sure he gets tested too. No judgement, not moral indignation, just a genuine desire to keep her patients happy and healthy. Even though the med center itself is a royal pain in the a$$ to work with, I’ll probably keep going to see my N.P. JOhn. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2003, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-because-im-gay-im-just-a-cum-dripping-manwhore-nice-to-know/175248/91 "2003-05-20T19:50:55Z")
Ah, true-I appologize. Just hoping we’ll avoid another HIV and gay men fight again. ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2003, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-because-im-gay-im-just-a-cum-dripping-manwhore-nice-to-know/175248/92 "2003-05-20T20:13:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jkusters \* > \*\*Two thoughts come to mind: > > 1. I don’t trust doctors. They don’t listen and they are not practical. This is why I always try to see Nurse Practicioners \*\* You know, the few times I’ve seen an NP, I’ve felt truly EXAMINED. Like they went over every little thing, suggested numerous things, and were courteous and LISTENED. May have to look into it more. ---
**Author:** ![TaxGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b19c9b/32.png) [@TaxGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TaxGuy)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2003, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-because-im-gay-im-just-a-cum-dripping-manwhore-nice-to-know/175248/93 "2003-05-20T21:10:00Z")
So what the hell are poppers, anyway? Someone else asked above and didn’t get an answer. ---
**Author:** ![JillGat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9fc29f/32.png) [@JillGat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JillGat)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2003, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-because-im-gay-im-just-a-cum-dripping-manwhore-nice-to-know/175248/94 "2003-05-20T22:06:23Z")
Poppers are amyl nitrate or butyl nitrate, the drug in a small glass tube that one breaks when they are experiencing angina pectoris - chest pain due to heart disease. Amyl is the prescription version I think. And they’re also used as a recreational drug to enhance orgasm. Poppers used to be really popular in gay bars, but I’m not sure if they are any more. I’m sure Esprix or Scott will fill you in, and then this thread will probably be closed. ---
**Author:** ![JillGat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9fc29f/32.png) [@JillGat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JillGat)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2003, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-because-im-gay-im-just-a-cum-dripping-manwhore-nice-to-know/175248/95 "2003-05-20T22:20:54Z")
I guess I _should_ add some of the warnings. These drugs reduce blood pressure which makes them dangerous for people with anaemia, glaucoma, breathing or heart problems. They are dangerous for pregnant women and apparently very dangerous to take together with Viagra. The form Scott was talking about is supposed to only be available through prescription to people with heart problems. There are other versions that are available - or used to be - in “adult” stores. ---
**Author:** ![TaxGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b19c9b/32.png) [@TaxGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TaxGuy)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2003, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-because-im-gay-im-just-a-cum-dripping-manwhore-nice-to-know/175248/96 "2003-05-20T22:25:28Z")
So why are they used only by gay folks if they enhance orgasm. (IOW: Do they not ehance heterorgasms (\<–look, a new word)?) Oh wait–I may have figured this out. Do they have something to do with anal sex? ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2003, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-because-im-gay-im-just-a-cum-dripping-manwhore-nice-to-know/175248/97 "2003-05-21T02:20:42Z")
I’m pretty sure that they will enhance anyone’s orgasm (at least two fellows used them in my presence, definitely _sans_ anything anal); it may just be that we found it first and it hasn’t spread. Jill, thanks for the warning. ---
**Author:** ![scott\_evil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@scott\_evil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scott_evil)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2003, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-because-im-gay-im-just-a-cum-dripping-manwhore-nice-to-know/175248/98 "2003-05-21T02:24:05Z")
They make you feel primal. [IvanaHumpalot] Like **animal**! [/IvanaHumpalot] 😃 And they come in bottles, even the real amyl (distinguishable from the butyl/isobutyl stuff by a distinctive, greasy smell). ---
**Author:** ![scott\_evil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@scott\_evil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scott_evil)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2003, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-because-im-gay-im-just-a-cum-dripping-manwhore-nice-to-know/175248/99 "2003-05-21T02:26:53Z")
And I don’t know their legal status in Canada. I don’t think anyone uses amyl in glass ampoules for angina anymore. ---
**Author:** ![Jaade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/dfb087/32.png) [@Jaade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaade)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2003, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-because-im-gay-im-just-a-cum-dripping-manwhore-nice-to-know/175248/100 "2003-05-21T03:03:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Binarydrone \* > \*\*There is a lot here to be upset about. Naturally, the assumption that the tests being done were needed because of promiscuous man on man sex, but also the fact that the doctor did not read the chart. I must have missed the memo where that became accepted best practice. \*\* You’d be surprised. Like GMRyujin, I was given a prescription for Tylenol 3 with Codiene…by my obstetrician. I’m allergic to codiene, which was plainly written on the folder he used as a writing pad to write the script. Ironically, OP…I was near Seattle at the time. 😛 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-because-im-gay-im-just-a-cum-dripping-manwhore-nice-to-know/175248.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-because-im-gay-im-just-a-cum-dripping-manwhore-nice-to-know/175248.md?page=6)