# Yes, I know professional wrestling is fake but thanks for pointing that out,jabroni.

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-i-know-professional-wrestling-is-fake-but-thanks-for-pointing-that-out-jabroni/54700>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [February 16, 2001, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-i-know-professional-wrestling-is-fake-but-thanks-for-pointing-that-out-jabroni/54700 "2001-02-16T05:12:28Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\
**Post date:** [February 16, 2001, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-i-know-professional-wrestling-is-fake-but-thanks-for-pointing-that-out-jabroni/54700/21 "2001-02-16T19:36:21Z")

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I would be apalled if wrestling was real. Knowing that the hits are choregraphed, and that the wrestlers are stuntmen, makes the show fun.

Who was that old former female wrestler that The Dudly Boys powerbombed off the stage onto a table? That lady pulled off an amazing stunt!  
The only complaints I have about wrestling are that some of the story arcs go on too long, certain wrestlers only seem to fight each other, and that I don’t feel that the WWF should be marketed towards kids.

Oh, yeah. And the Rock needs to go away for awhile. His routine has gotten really old.

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**Author:** ![Kvallulf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/898d66/32.png) [@Kvallulf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kvallulf)\
**Post date:** [February 16, 2001, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-i-know-professional-wrestling-is-fake-but-thanks-for-pointing-that-out-jabroni/54700/22 "2001-02-16T19:50:39Z")

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“I have the Hardy Boyz action figures in a prominent place in my cube…”  
HA My Duke Nukem could take em both out!

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**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\
**Post date:** [February 16, 2001, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-i-know-professional-wrestling-is-fake-but-thanks-for-pointing-that-out-jabroni/54700/23 "2001-02-16T20:44:47Z")

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I held up a sign saying…" I want to give Jeff Hardy a BroncoBuster".

Duke Nukem? Please…Jeff’ll knock his gun away w/ a ladder…then he and Matt will go to town.

And please never EEEEEVVVVEEERRRRR use a Rock catchphrase anywhere my name-I hate the Rock and his overplayed talentless ass!

Extreme is not a mood-it’s a lifestyle 🙂

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**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\
**Post date:** [February 16, 2001, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-i-know-professional-wrestling-is-fake-but-thanks-for-pointing-that-out-jabroni/54700/24 "2001-02-16T20:49:57Z")

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I don’t watch rasslin’. Never have. So,when I spent the afternoon with a man called The Rock late last summer, shooting a segment for a prime-time show for “Access Hollywood”, I didn’t know who he was at all.

Three hours later, I knew. Since I’m not an employee of that show, I’ve got no asses to kiss here. So, take it for what it’s worth. He was a gentleman to the nth degree. Fairly thoughtful in his responses. Fine, that just told me that he had his on camera persona down pat.

But, when you “drop the face and get some space” when the camera’s NOT on you, but the crew’s all around, that is when you find out what someone really is like. He’s pretty much the same off-camera. A very very smart man who’s riding the wave. I hope he’s got a good investment banker. He was cooperative, clever, and gentle with the talent ( not always the case).

I still don’t watch rasslin’, but at least I know of one personality on there who’s just an actor, out there showing the people just what they want to see. Hell, more power to him.

Cartooniverse

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**Author:** ![nikjohns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/53a042/32.png) [@nikjohns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nikjohns)\
**Post date:** [February 16, 2001, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-i-know-professional-wrestling-is-fake-but-thanks-for-pointing-that-out-jabroni/54700/25 "2001-02-16T21:36:11Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by TwistofFate \*  
> \*\*DuckDuck,
> 
> I recommend Mick Foley autobiography. Absolutely brilliant.
> 
> \*\*

Best book I’ve ever read… The only time 5 hours has passed without me noticing. Apart from that abduction where “they” interfered with me. Hmmm…

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**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\
**Post date:** [February 16, 2001, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-i-know-professional-wrestling-is-fake-but-thanks-for-pointing-that-out-jabroni/54700/26 "2001-02-16T23:21:04Z")

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Since this is a pretty lively wrestling thread, I just want to, once again, brag about being one of the few people on the planet who can claim to have hit Triple H in the back of the head.

Happened during a Fall '99 showing of RAW is WAR at the Arrowhead Pond in Anaheim, when Stone Cold made his comeback of the season (before leaving again for neck surgery). I, being lucky enough to have Front-Row seats, was right there when the two wrestlers spilled over the barricade. I immediately ran forward, and, without thinking, flung my hand out and planted a nice smack against Hunter Hearst Helmsley’s cranium.

Then, content and satisfied, I sat back and watched Austin open up a can o’ whup-ass on Triple H.

Good times… good times…

> [@](#):
>
> Knowing that the hits are choregraphed

Actually, surprisingly little of it is actually choreographed. The outcome is fixed (except for the Iron Man match 'tween the Rock and Triple H last year… they screwed that one up), and they probably discuss the “high points” of the match (like whether or not to bring in a chair, or who’s gonna break the Spanish Announcer’s table…), but for the bulk of each match, the wrestler’s make it up as they go along.

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**Author:** ![Kvallulf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/898d66/32.png) [@Kvallulf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kvallulf)\
**Post date:** [February 16, 2001, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-i-know-professional-wrestling-is-fake-but-thanks-for-pointing-that-out-jabroni/54700/27 "2001-02-16T23:43:03Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by hardygrrl \*  
> \*\*I held up a sign saying…" I want to give Jeff Hardy a BroncoBuster".
> 
> Duke Nukem? Please…Jeff’ll knock his gun away w/ a ladder…then he and Matt will go to town.
> 
> And please never EEEEEVVVVEEERRRRR use a Rock catchphrase anywhere my name-I hate the Rock and his overplayed talentless ass!
> 
> Extreme is not a mood-it’s a lifestyle 🙂 \*\*

BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA!!! Your two little fluffers couldn’t Duke in any way shape or form. Ole Duke has saved the planet countless times, kicked major ass all over the universe, and looked damn good doing it too.

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**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\
**Post date:** [February 17, 2001, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-i-know-professional-wrestling-is-fake-but-thanks-for-pointing-that-out-jabroni/54700/28 "2001-02-17T00:27:15Z")

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Then again, Duke’d be so excited over seeing Lita that he wouldn’t notice Jeff climbing the ropes for a Senton Bomb. 'Cuz remember… Duke thinks with his penis.

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**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\
**Post date:** [February 17, 2001, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-i-know-professional-wrestling-is-fake-but-thanks-for-pointing-that-out-jabroni/54700/29 "2001-02-17T00:44:56Z")

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SPOOFE: Huh. I didn’t know that. I figured they rehearsed the matches, or something. For them to improv those stunts makes me respect them even more. some of that stuff is _dangerous_!

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**Author:** ![Ayesha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c0e974/32.png) [@Ayesha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ayesha)\
**Post date:** [February 17, 2001, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-i-know-professional-wrestling-is-fake-but-thanks-for-pointing-that-out-jabroni/54700/30 "2001-02-17T02:01:02Z")

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Yet another fan checking in here. I love wrestling, always have. Yes the matches have pre-arranged outcomes, but I know for a fact that my body could never take the punishment the pros take and live. They truly put their bodies on the line in the ring.

Reading Mick Foley’s book was a pleasure and an eye opener even for a life long fan. The man lost an ear during a match, you can’t get much more _real_ than that.

Doesn’t anyone else here remember the old timers like Bull Curry , Johnny Valentine and Mil Mascaras ?

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**Author:** ![Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/soul_brother_number_two/32/3515_2.png) [@Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soul_Brother_Number_Two)\
**Post date:** [February 17, 2001, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-i-know-professional-wrestling-is-fake-but-thanks-for-pointing-that-out-jabroni/54700/31 "2001-02-17T02:10:48Z")

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um, i hope this isnt too much of a wet blanket, but does anytbody besides me miss:

jimmy ‘superfly’ snuka  
chief strongbow  
‘mr wonderful’ paul orndorff (my personal fave)  
adrian adonis and dick murdoch  
stan "the wildman’ hanson  
‘the claw master’ baron von raschke  
ken patera ‘the world’s strongest man’  
the iron sheik  
bruno sammartino ‘the living legend’  
bob backlund, ‘the people’s champion’  
rick martel  
ole and arn anderson  
‘gentleman’ chris adams  
gino hernandez  
tony gurea  
‘the magnificent one’ don muraco  
greg ‘the hammer’ valentine  
abdullah the butcher  
the koloffs  
the way the von erichs and the fabulous free birds usta beat the living crap out of each other with their belts, and their boots, or whatever they could lay their hands on

now, THAT was wrestling.

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**Author:** ![Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/soul_brother_number_two/32/3515_2.png) [@Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soul_Brother_Number_Two)\
**Post date:** [February 17, 2001, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-i-know-professional-wrestling-is-fake-but-thanks-for-pointing-that-out-jabroni/54700/32 "2001-02-17T02:13:48Z")

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whoops, that’s chief jay strongbow, sorry.

and sorry, guv, i cant believe i forgot ‘the body.’

sorry as well, jake ‘the snake’ roberts.

i leave you with a quote.

“from the islands, brudder! i paddled over in my canoe!”  
-jimmy ‘superfly’ snuka

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**Author:** ![Ayesha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c0e974/32.png) [@Ayesha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ayesha)\
**Post date:** [February 17, 2001, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-i-know-professional-wrestling-is-fake-but-thanks-for-pointing-that-out-jabroni/54700/33 "2001-02-17T02:31:15Z")

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essvee,

I remember them ! These sites might be of interest to you.

[http://users.aol.com/Solie/index.html](http://users.aol.com/Solie/index.html)  
[http://www.wrestlingclassics.com/](http://www.wrestlingclassics.com/)  
[http://www.wrestlingmuseum.com/home.html](http://www.wrestlingmuseum.com/home.html)

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**Author:** ![Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/soul_brother_number_two/32/3515_2.png) [@Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soul_Brother_Number_Two)\
**Post date:** [February 17, 2001, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-i-know-professional-wrestling-is-fake-but-thanks-for-pointing-that-out-jabroni/54700/34 "2001-02-17T02:41:04Z")

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oh gawd, i forgot the greatest of all, ‘nature boy’ ric flair. all i gotta do is think of one of his rants, and the way he would go “whooo!” after each sentence, and i totally crack up. nobody is funny anymore, either.

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**Author:** ![Road\_Rash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a8b319/32.png) [@Road\_Rash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Road_Rash)\
**Post date:** [February 17, 2001, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-i-know-professional-wrestling-is-fake-but-thanks-for-pointing-that-out-jabroni/54700/35 "2001-02-17T04:13:41Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Abe \*  
> \*\*It’s true! People who despise wrestling often lack a sense of humour.
> 
> But then again, wrestling is a fairly alarming phenomenon too! A whole bunch of people DO think it’s real, and many kids are exposed to this extremely violent behaviour…
> 
> As a male, I definitely enjoy the rare occasions when the wrestling chicks strut out.
> 
> My rant against the industry is that it’s a little TOO American–I guess it’s part of the fun, but there is constant abuse heaped on foreigners.
> 
> Uh, no swearing yet, sorry. Fuck you, wrestling organizers! You stink!
> 
> \*\*

I have a response for each point:

1. People who hate wrestling often have no sense of humor. These are the same folk who scoff at The Three Stooges, Benny Hill, or Married with Children.

2. Before the mid 80’s, the wrestling world would openly claim it’s authenticity. Tighter state (and possibly federal) sports regulations agencies were starting to regulate them. So they said what most of knew, it’s rehearsed. Those who now truly think otherwise are in serious denial. Although Attempting a clothsline, or just attempting to perform it can have fatal consequences.

3. As a male, I too like when the wresting chicks come strutting out. I especially like the catfights, they get broken up too soon. Now if Jackie or Lita can rip those Right-To-Censor clothes off Ivory.

4. The industry has always thrived in Mexico as well. Catch some Luche Libra. They all have cool masks and wild outfits. And the are good at leaps off the top rope. Europe has its promoters, but the WWF is coming world wide. I love those Japanese wrestlers that move their lips while dubbed english is being broadcasted.

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**Author:** ![Gozu\_Tashoya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7993a0/32.png) [@Gozu\_Tashoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gozu_Tashoya)\
**Post date:** [February 17, 2001, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-i-know-professional-wrestling-is-fake-but-thanks-for-pointing-that-out-jabroni/54700/36 "2001-02-17T04:25:24Z")

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Have any of you guys seen **Beyond the Mat**? Man, the depths Jake the Snake has sunk to… ☹

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**Author:** ![Mister\_Armageddon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/858c86/32.png) [@Mister\_Armageddon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Armageddon)\
**Post date:** [February 17, 2001, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-i-know-professional-wrestling-is-fake-but-thanks-for-pointing-that-out-jabroni/54700/37 "2001-02-17T19:19:05Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> - Originally posted by cooldude \*  
> \*\* 4. The industry has always thrived in Mexico as well. Catch some Luche Libra. They all have cool masks and wild outfits. And the are good at leaps off the top rope. Europe has its promoters, but the WWF is coming world wide. I love those Japanese wrestlers that move their lips while dubbed english is being broadcasted. \*\*

Speaking of Japanese wrestling, you might want to look into that too. It pretty much has something for everyone, whether they like high flying action, incredible levels of violence, or guys getting dropped on their heads in various cringe-inducing fashions. And as for the dubbed Japanese guys (TAKA Michinoku and Sho Funaki), you can get an old Michinoku Pro tape and see them actually win a few matches.

Anyway, some recommendations to get you started if you should be so inclined:

Super J Cup '94-Has two of the greatest matches I’ve ever seen on it.  
Super J Cup '95-Watch Benoit beat the shit out of Jericho! Oh, and the first match on the tape is one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen…it really defies description.  
J\*Crown Tournament-The champions of 8 feds from around the world meet to unite the titles in one night.  
IWA King Of The Death Match Tournament-Marvel as Cactus Jack and Terry Funk nearly kill themselves for your entertainment.  
Misawa/Kawada History-Highlights of the feud between the two greatest wrestlers in the world. And of course, lots of head dropping goodness to go around.

Various tape dealers around the Internet should have these, although [http://www.prowrestlingtapes.com](http://www.prowrestlingtapes.com) is probably the cheapest. Don’t expect them to answer very many of your e-mails if the tapes get there late, but the wait usually isn’t that long.

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**Author:** ![Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/soul_brother_number_two/32/3515_2.png) [@Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soul_Brother_Number_Two)\
**Post date:** [February 17, 2001, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-i-know-professional-wrestling-is-fake-but-thanks-for-pointing-that-out-jabroni/54700/38 "2001-02-17T20:40:09Z")

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mister armageddon, you have an arn anderson sig! damn thats cool. more legends from the AWA i forgot to mention:

nick bockwinkel- his tag line was ‘cretinous humanoids.’ i love that man.

and, of course, larry zybysko, im not spelling his name right.

in the interests of completeness, i must mention my favorite patsies from back in the day.

the wily veteran, rene goulet.  
the unpredictable one, johnny rodz.  
salvatore bellomo.  
and, of course, the ever-ready terry gibbs. i saw him wrestle twice on the same card in wormtown once. he got his ass kicked by ricky ‘the dragon’ steamboat, and then later on he got his ass kicked again by tony gurea, who in close-up had all these ancient green sailor tattoos all over his body, i couldnt see em when he was on tv.

and, special to spoofe bo diddly, while we were at this card (we had ringside seats), my pal jimmy SPIT a big ol loogie on greg ‘the hammer’ valentine, taking his life in his own hands. disgusting, yes, but i like it too.

i promise i wont post about the old wrestlers any more.

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**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\
**Post date:** [February 17, 2001, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-i-know-professional-wrestling-is-fake-but-thanks-for-pointing-that-out-jabroni/54700/39 "2001-02-17T20:49:33Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> Now if Jackie or Lita can rip those Right-To-Censor clothes off Ivory.

No! Fuckin’ A, NO! Ivory’s the one we want to stay covered up!! And silent! And absent!

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**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\
**Post date:** [February 18, 2001, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-i-know-professional-wrestling-is-fake-but-thanks-for-pointing-that-out-jabroni/54700/40 "2001-02-18T00:28:49Z")

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Jimmy “The Dragon” Steamboat ruled. He was the first wrestler that I can remember who used martial arts in his wrestling.

**essvee** : I’m not current with WCW, but Ric flair was still wrestling at least a few months ago.

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