I might feel differently if he literally begged for her to take all of his financial information.
No, for real though, I think if you’re sober enough to beg for sex you better be willing to face the consequences if you do end up deciding to have sex. I don’t think people get a pass on shit behavior if they’ve been drinking and they sure as hell don’t get to file false criminal charges against their boyfriend if they do something they regret.
Is that really so fucking controversial?
I thought we already got over this. The thing is, ZPG Zealot, there are cultural expectations that are different and even opposite of yours regarding handshakes in some places in the world. Some women actually would be offended by asking permission to shake hands! This is a real thing – not something made up.
Some real human women disagree with you, ZPG. It doesn’t make your customs wrong, but their customs aren’t wrong either.
So it’s appropriate in some communities to offer a handshake and not ask permission – that is the only option among some communities to avoid offense. This is not fiction – there might actually be customs and standards that you aren’t familiar with on earth.
Well, she’s not respecting mine and women with her beliefs make life hard for women that don’t want to be abused by men. There’s a folk saying in America, “You’re right to swing your fist, end where my nose begins.” Another person’s right to fling their arm out into the air end when it touches another person.
I’m actually far more concerned that she’s telling women how they should think.
How does her different beliefs about handshakes fail to respect your beliefs? Is she not free to prefer handshakes, and is she not free to feel offense if someone asks her if she would like to shake hands?
Of course. Luckily, no one has advocated forcibly shaking anyone’s hands here.
It’s not like they’re going to listen. When was the last time ZPG Zealot persuaded anybody of anything around here?
Well… do you mean that she intended to? Or just any old persuading? 
Should’ve seen that coming.
She is perfectly free to offer her hands. She can feel offense if she wants to because someone actually cares enough to be polite to her. What she should not be free to do is try to destroy a safeguard designed to protect other women from abuse and harm. She does not have the right to advance her own feelings of being “one of the boys” at the expense of another woman’s right to feel safe in the world. It’s like locking your door at night. Just because some people feel safe sleeping with every door and window opened doesn’t mean everyone else should be forced to.
What if she begged him to shoot her? You know she’s been depressed, she wants to end it all, but suicide is like a sin in her religion. Would you let her male friend off the hook for murder? Once again, in a civilized society we do not take advantage of drunk people. Is that really so fucking controversial?
Damn, you are some kinda lady. And I do mean lady.
What safeguard is she destroying? She’s saying that she prefers if men offer her a handshake and don’t ask. That’s the expected custom and standard in some communities. It doesn’t mean men can’t ask, but it means that if men want to minimize the risk of offense in those communities, they should not ask.
This is just a math problem. How do I minimize my risk of causing offense to a woman? In my community, the lowest risk solution is to offer a handshake without asking. In some other communities, the lowest risk is to ask. And in others, it’s to not even ask or offer at all. But there are some communities in which the best solution to minimize the risk of offense is to offer the hand without asking.
How do these facts that exist in some communities “destroy a safeguard”?
ZPG, you said sometimes you shake hands while gloved. Please explain how being gloved is “a safeguard designed to protect other women from abuse and harm”. I doubt that thin veneer of cloth is doing much to protect you unless they’ve coated their hands in anthrax or something.
Edit: My point isn’t that your culture is wrong. It’s that it’s a cultural thing, it’s not a perfectly logical advancement of human thought.
The standard of politeness in the whole world is not “this is what is polite to ZPG Zealot” – standards of politeness differ from community to community. So while it’s polite to ask before offering a hand shake in some communities, in other communities it’s impolite to ask, and impolite to do anything but offer a handshake without asking.
He didn’t! He didn’t take advantage of anyone and you’re coming out with fists flying about what an asshole you think he is. It’s completely undeserved.
Taking advantage of a person who is drunk is a shit thing to do. It does not absolve the drunk person of responsibility for his or her own behavior. And anyway, that is not what happened in this case. Arguably she was taking advantage of him as by his own admission he was at least if not more drunk than she was.
I’m a feminist too, ya know. But I happen to think placing the entire onus of responsibility for sex on the guy is counterproductive to women’s equality. If a woman wants to have sex she should fucking own it including all the consequences and potential regret. That’s what adults do. They make decisions and they live with them.
So when men extend hands to shake hands at business meetings, it is also an attempt to force the other **man **to submit to them, too?
And let’s not even get into the well-established professional custom of two women in a business context shaking each other’s hands. That might just make ZPGZ’s head splode.
Frankly, I’m just glad she isn’t somewhere where it’s customary for acquaintances to kiss cheeks hello. That headsplosion could be on the order of several Hiroshimas.
In some cultures it is considered taboo for a woman to post on the internet. As long as ZPG continues to post, she is saying that she doesn’t have to respect those people, so why should people respect hers?
If she really wants us to consider respecting her culture, she should stop posting.
So why is it rude for a man to extend his hand to you, but not rude for him to not extend his hand to me? I should understand differing cultures, but you don’t have to?