# 'Yes Means Yes' is the Law for Sex on New York College Campuses
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-means-yes-is-the-law-for-sex-on-new-york-college-campuses/725483
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [July 18, 2015, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-means-yes-is-the-law-for-sex-on-new-york-college-campuses/725483 "2015-07-18T03:50:50Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 2
### Author:  [@Construct](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Construct)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2015, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-means-yes-is-the-law-for-sex-on-new-york-college-campuses/725483/21 "2015-07-18T22:27:23Z")
> [@Cinnamon\_Imp](#):
>
> What about a wife using a strap-on dildo to anally penetrate her (straight) husband?
Her husband is probably a latent homosexual and their behavior is deviant and unhealthy. The real problem lies not with people who act on their impulses but rather with media and advertisers who create a sexualized society wherein people need to partake in abnormal sexual activity to feel arousal.
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### Author:  [@GusNSpot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GusNSpot)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2015, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-means-yes-is-the-law-for-sex-on-new-york-college-campuses/725483/22 "2015-07-18T22:31:53Z")
> [@jimbuff314](#):
>
> You sickos with your sic, sick, sicko imaginations are gonna be number 1 on the list!!
>
> (_Sorry, let’s tone that down a bit, shall we?_)
>
> If he likes being penetrated anally, he ain’t straight!
>
> (_A trifle more, please._)
>
> What two consenting adults do in the privacy of their bedroom is no concern of mine.
>
> (_See, that wasn’t hard was it?_)
>
> Speaking of something not being hard…
>
> (_Don’t push it._)
↑ ↑ ↑ For the thread win… 😃
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### Author:  [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)
#### Post date: [July 19, 2015, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-means-yes-is-the-law-for-sex-on-new-york-college-campuses/725483/23 "2015-07-19T01:00:28Z")
> [@Construct](#):
>
> Her husband is probably a latent homosexual and their behavior is deviant and unhealthy. The real problem lies not with people who act on their impulses but rather with media and advertisers who create a sexualized society wherein people need to partake in abnormal sexual activity to feel arousal.
Have you considered starting a thread where you could tell people the difference between “normal” and “deviant” sex? I bet it would would be very popular!
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### Author:  [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)
#### Post date: [July 19, 2015, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-means-yes-is-the-law-for-sex-on-new-york-college-campuses/725483/24 "2015-07-19T03:11:23Z")
NM
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### Author:  [@DinoR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DinoR)
#### Post date: [July 19, 2015, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-means-yes-is-the-law-for-sex-on-new-york-college-campuses/725483/25 "2015-07-19T03:55:52Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#):
>
> Have you considered starting a thread where you could tell people the difference between “normal” and “deviant” sex? I bet it would would be very popular!
Now that would be a fun thread!!! 😃
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### Author:  [@Kaio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaio)
#### Post date: [July 19, 2015, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-means-yes-is-the-law-for-sex-on-new-york-college-campuses/725483/26 "2015-07-19T04:17:26Z")
> [@BigT](#):
>
> Won’t work. Consent can be withdrawn–it’s kinda the most important part of affirmative consent.
>
> And, no, affirmative consent isn’t inherently this bad. It’s really just supposed to mean that “she didn’t say no” is not a valid defense. It doesn’t mean you have to prove she said yes. It’s really less of a legal thing and more of a conceptual change. Stop thinking about “being okay with sex” as the default.
This. Plus I can’t see what’s the great burden of saying “Is this okay? Do you like this?” every once in a while. Part of being a good partner (and a good lay) IS checking in, and adjusting technique when needed. Selfish lovers are bad at sex.
Communication skills are important for healthy relationships, people. And teaching college kids what “good communication skills” mean is not out of place on a college campus – they’re SUPPOSED to be getting them ready to be fully fledged functioning adults in society.
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### Author:  [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)
#### Post date: [July 19, 2015, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-means-yes-is-the-law-for-sex-on-new-york-college-campuses/725483/27 "2015-07-19T05:31:30Z")
> [@Construct](#):
>
> Her husband is probably a latent homosexual and their behavior is deviant and unhealthy. The real problem lies not with people who act on their impulses but rather with media and advertisers who create a sexualized society wherein people need to partake in abnormal sexual activity to feel arousal.
YES. I used to be fine with missionary with my wife once a month with the lights off, just like my pastor told me it says to do in the Bible. Then I saw that one commercial on that one show, and ever since then I can’t get off without a Wiffle bat up my ass and Johnny Horton’s _The Singing American_ on the turntable.
You don’t know how happy I am to meet someone going through the same struggle. Do you attend a local group?
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### Author:  [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)
#### Post date: [July 19, 2015, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-means-yes-is-the-law-for-sex-on-new-york-college-campuses/725483/28 "2015-07-19T06:47:03Z")
> [@PastTense](#):
>
> Isn’t it time to go back to college regulations of 50+ years ago where college dormitories were single sex and sneaking into an opposite sex dormitory could get you expelled? This would cut down on the opportunities for sexual assault.
Last I checked, teen pregnancy rates have been declining since the 1950s. So, I think it’s a reasonable bet that partitioning the sexes wasn’t a particularly effective means of preventing sexual activity.
I’m also pretty certain that incidences of rape have decreased as people have started to actually get to know one another as real humans, rather than as mystery alien creatures, and as women have gained the ability to talk about sex and about the men who did bad things to them.
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### Author:  [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)
#### Post date: [July 19, 2015, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-means-yes-is-the-law-for-sex-on-new-york-college-campuses/725483/29 "2015-07-19T06:52:12Z")
As to the “Yes means Yes” thing, I guess we’ll see how it works. Doesn’t sound promising, but I’d rather see it tested and proved to be effective or non-effective than for us to just assume and potentially lose out.
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### Author:  [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)
#### Post date: [July 19, 2015, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-means-yes-is-the-law-for-sex-on-new-york-college-campuses/725483/30 "2015-07-19T07:06:25Z")
According to [this article,](http://www.syracuse.com/state/index.ssf/2015/07/yes_means_yes_is_the_law_for_sex_on_new_york_college_campuses.html) the law " also gives the state police $4.5 million to handle sexual assault cases, $4.5 million to rape crisis centers that serve students and $1 million to college campuses."
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### Author:  [@Lucretia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucretia)
#### Post date: [July 19, 2015, 7:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-means-yes-is-the-law-for-sex-on-new-york-college-campuses/725483/31 "2015-07-19T07:36:58Z")
I’m just here to third the suggestion that **Construct** start a thread wherein he explains to us all what constitutes ‘deviant’ as opposed to ‘non-deviant’ sex. I feel like I would have a lot to contribute to that discussion. A lot.
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### Author:  [@Your\_Great\_Darsh\_Face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Your_Great_Darsh_Face)
#### Post date: [July 19, 2015, 11:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-means-yes-is-the-law-for-sex-on-new-york-college-campuses/725483/32 "2015-07-19T11:32:23Z")
> [@Lucretia](#):
>
> I’m just here to third the suggestion that **Construct** start a thread wherein he explains to us all what constitutes ‘deviant’ as opposed to ‘non-deviant’ sex. I feel like I would have a lot to contribute to that discussion. A lot.
You mean “Go ahead punk, make my day, there are about 347 of us just waiting to flame you to a crisp”. Obviously I respect your courageous stand, but meanwhile…
But meanwhile, as to the OP, I’m struggling to recall any occasion, any at all, including the time I first got jumped on by a fat older woman while I was half-drunk, when I was ever asked for my permission for what was about to happen. :dubious:
I think criminalizing what appears to be normal human behaviour is an unwise course to be steering.
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### Author:  [@Lucretia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucretia)
#### Post date: [July 19, 2015, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-means-yes-is-the-law-for-sex-on-new-york-college-campuses/725483/33 "2015-07-19T12:58:53Z")
> [@Your\_Great\_Darsh\_Face](#):
>
> You mean “Go ahead punk, make my day, there are about 347 of us just waiting to flame you to a crisp”. Obviously I respect your courageous stand, but meanwhile…
Actually…I just really wanna talk about deviant sex.
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### Author:  [@GrumpyBunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrumpyBunny)
#### Post date: [July 19, 2015, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-means-yes-is-the-law-for-sex-on-new-york-college-campuses/725483/34 "2015-07-19T13:09:07Z")
I’d like some deviant sex. Anyone have time before 11 today?
> [@Senegoid](#):
>
> All this hand-wringing about overly formalizing college intimacy is nothing new. It was going on years and years ago.
>
> IIRC, Johnny Carson had something like this on The Tonight Show much longer ago than that – 25 years maybe? Some college (Ohio State I think?) had published some formal “guidelines” on the whole process of “making out”, requiring that the participating party of the male part must ask the participating party of the female part for explicit permission at each and every step of the process.
>
> Someone sent Carson a copy of that. He brought it onto his show, starting his monologue with remarks to the effect: “I’ve just fired my entire joke-writing staff. With Ohio State to write my material for me, who needs them?” He then proceeded to read the guidelines.
>
> Anybody else but me remember that?
>
> ETA: OMG!!!1!!1 **Construct** used the words “feminist” and “hysteria” in one sentence! In consecutive words even! Give him a break – he’s rather new here. He doesn’t yet know what a massive shit-storm we had here last time that happened!
It was Antioch University (or College?) in Ohio. I didn’t think it was terribly funny then, either, given that Carson’s generation was pretty terrible at handling women’s agency to say yes or no at will, or treating rape victims with anything like a modicum of respect or dignity.
I don’t know why this is being mocked. Guys that age sometimes don’t get NO; women that age have been known to say NO then let things continue. That’s not healthy for anyone. At the very least, I’d think that obtaining consent along the way would prevent misunderstandings.
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### Author:  [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)
#### Post date: [July 19, 2015, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-means-yes-is-the-law-for-sex-on-new-york-college-campuses/725483/35 "2015-07-19T13:47:30Z")
> [@GrumpyBunny](#):
>
> It was Antioch University (or College?) in Ohio…
Antioch College.
This happened sometime around 1991-1993. At the time it sounded ridiculous but having given it some thought it doesn’t seem like an entirely bad idea to subject college students in particular to s more stringent standard for consent.
A big part of the problems of excess on college campuses has to do with the sudden and complete withdrawal of supervision while students are still quite immature.
Requiring them to ease into good sex habits by following a consent script might not be a bad idea.
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### Author:  [@Edward\_The\_Head](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Edward_The_Head)
#### Post date: [July 19, 2015, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-means-yes-is-the-law-for-sex-on-new-york-college-campuses/725483/36 "2015-07-19T14:22:14Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#):
>
> YES. I used to be fine with missionary with my wife once a month with the lights off, just like my pastor told me it says to do in the Bible. Then I saw that one commercial on that one show, and ever since then I can’t get off without a Wiffle bat up my ass and Johnny Horton’s _The Singing American_ on the turntable.
You sick, sick bastard to use Johnny Horton in such a way. I hope you’re ashamed of yourself.
> [@Lucretia](#):
>
> Actually…I just really wanna talk about deviant sex.
No one here’s going to stop you, you’ve got a ‘yes’ from me, you want me to sign a contract too?
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### Author:  [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)
#### Post date: [July 19, 2015, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-means-yes-is-the-law-for-sex-on-new-york-college-campuses/725483/37 "2015-07-19T14:33:32Z")
> [@Velocity](#):
>
> Some legal expert can probably clarify here, but isn’t this a guilty-until-proven-innocent system? Doesn’t it put the burden on the accused to prove that a crime did \*not \*happen, rather than on the prosecution to prove that a crime \*did \*happen? Is this Constitutional?
Don’t know about “Constitutional” (which Constitution, the Argentine one? ;)) but as long as the State has to prove all elements of the crime then they should be ok as far as proving guilty bit, unless the application of the law is such that the in practice the accused has to prove his innocence.
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### Author:  [@Your\_Great\_Darsh\_Face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Your_Great_Darsh_Face)
#### Post date: [July 19, 2015, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-means-yes-is-the-law-for-sex-on-new-york-college-campuses/725483/38 "2015-07-19T15:38:20Z")
> [@Lucretia](#):
>
> Actually…I just really wanna talk about deviant sex.
Fair enough. Are you a kitchet or a khoontz? Your answer will heavily influence my decision to be out on the sands under Mirassou, or at least whether or not to bring a decoy.
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### Author:  [@Lucretia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucretia)
#### Post date: [July 20, 2015, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-means-yes-is-the-law-for-sex-on-new-york-college-campuses/725483/39 "2015-07-20T06:52:58Z")
> [@Edward\_The\_Head](#):
>
> No one here’s going to stop you, you’ve got a ‘yes’ from me, you want me to sign a contract too?
I’ll have my lawyer fax the standard forms to you, **Edward**. If you stipulate to providing the lube, goat, and trampoline, I don’t think we should have any problems.
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### Author:  [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)
#### Post date: [July 20, 2015, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-means-yes-is-the-law-for-sex-on-new-york-college-campuses/725483/40 "2015-07-20T16:12:43Z")
> [@Lucretia](#):
>
> Actually…I just really wanna talk about deviant sex.
Mmmm…deviant sex. 🙂
As far as the thread topic is concerned, why do I think the OP’s link is willfully misreading the law?
It really isn’t that hard to tell whether your partner’s an enthusiastic participant in whatever sexual activity you’re engaged in. And if they are, then you’ve got no problem under this law. And why the hell would someone want to have sex with someone who _wasn’t_ enthusiastically reciprocating?
AFAICT, the law is mostly there so that a guy can’t claim consent just because the woman stopped saying ‘no’ after saying it several dozen times.
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