# Yes- Telemarketers really are that stupid! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 17, 2003, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-telemarketers-really-are-that-stupid/175846 "2003-05-17T05:55:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2003, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-telemarketers-really-are-that-stupid/175846/41 "2003-06-07T23:35:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by GMRyujin \* > \*\*I like to put them by my computer speakers, especially if I’m playing a game with lots of gunfire, explosions, and screams. I like to see how long they’ll sit there listening to CounterStrike, shouting, “HELLO? HELLO?” Or I put on some speedmetal and see how long they can last. Or some uncensored rap. I’m flexible like that. \*\* I do that as well. 😃 I find playing _Hit Them Up_ by Tupac or _Moist Vagina_ by Nirvana works quite well. For a change of pace, _Teenage Whore_ by Hole or _Pink Velvet Cocaine_ by the Honeys. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2003, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-telemarketers-really-are-that-stupid/175846/42 "2003-06-08T00:24:36Z")
It’s strange … we used to get weekly (sometimes more frequent) calls from someone claiming to know that we just switched long-distance carriers (we didn’t have one for quite some time) and/or that we just switched from X company (we have been with the same company for a while now). “No, that is not correct.” “No. We do not and have never used that service.” The last time the guy called, I told him _twice_ that we didn’t use X company. So he mentioned another company. My response: “Are you going to just keep listing phone companies until you get one right?” In short, I have not answered the phone and heard a telemarketer since. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2003, 10:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-telemarketers-really-are-that-stupid/175846/43 "2003-06-08T10:15:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Polycarp \* > \*\*I’m sure a lot of us would be happy to forward the unsolicited e-mails we get, in an effort to assist you in recognizing your dream! 😃 > \*\* Funny you should mention that. I used to get a lot of penis-enlarging spam, but nowadays, it seems like most of the spam I get is for prescriptions. I don’t know what to make of that shift. \*\* > [@](#): > > On the other hand, pick up an alternative newspaper and look under “Escort Services” – you can probably find one available there for a reasonable fee! 😃 \*\* You know, when I said I wanted to “have” a big cock … ---
**Author:** ![DogMom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9c0ed/32.png) [@DogMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DogMom)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2003, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-telemarketers-really-are-that-stupid/175846/44 "2003-06-12T17:00:17Z")
Before our state got a “No-Call” list, I had this conversation with several Long Distance Company persons: LDCP: Hello, I’m from LDC and I can save you money on your long-distance bill. me: Oh, I’m not interested, thank you. LDCP: But you can save a LOT of money. me: No, I’m sorry, I don’t have a phone. You would not \*\* believe \*\* the responses you get off that one. ---
**Author:** ![HDS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/bb73d2/32.png) [@HDS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HDS)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2003, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-telemarketers-really-are-that-stupid/175846/45 "2003-06-12T17:27:10Z")
Here’s my favourite: “Hello, I am from PhoneTabulous and we can save you $50 on your next long distance bill, what do you say?” “I’m sorry. I love pissing away money.” ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2003, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-telemarketers-really-are-that-stupid/175846/46 "2003-06-12T20:13:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DirkGntly \* > About 75% of the time, I answer the phone, in my best announcer voice (I was a public speaker for a while, so it works), “WKLQ, you are ON THE AIR!” > My friends and family will go ahead and talk because they recognize the voice, or will call back immediately, thinking they’ve gotten a wrong number the first time…I’ll explain it to them and we have a good laugh… > …but the telemarketers just hang up… You do this, too? This was one of my favorite tactics back in college. I even had it on my answering machine. My roommate, OTOH, generally answered the phone by saying, “God speaking.” Now I often answer the phone in Shin’a’in, or some other fictional language, and just stick to it if it sounds like a telemarketer. If I run out of vocabulary, I hang up. They usually don’t last that long, though. \ B: “Zhai’elleva.” (“Wind to your wings.” A greeting.) T: “May I speak to Mr. Balance?” B: “Hai.” (“Yes.”) T: “Yes, hello, Mr. Balance. I’m calling to see if I can interest you in blahblahblah…” B: “Isda Ma’trix?” (“Have you seen The Matrix?”) T: “Pardon me?” B: “Nohs for’shava.” (“It’s very good.”) T: “I don’t understand.” B: “Ke’anu Corthu se shesti.” (“Keanu as The One is ridiculous, though.”) \ B: “So’trekoth.” (“Gullible fool.”) ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2003, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-telemarketers-really-are-that-stupid/175846/47 "2003-06-12T22:14:44Z")
Once, I said to one of these calls: “It puts on the lotion or it gets the hose.” They said: “What?” Then I said: “I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chanti.” Then I did the noise that Hopkins did after that line. The idiot said: “Hello?” I finished with: “Can you still hear the lambs screaming, Clarice?” They hung up. One point for me, and great amusement for me as well. ---
**Author:** ![soulsearcher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e5b9ba/32.png) [@soulsearcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/soulsearcher)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2003, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-telemarketers-really-are-that-stupid/175846/48 "2003-06-13T00:32:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Annie-Xmas \* > **One persistent phone person asked me “Well, don’t you want to save money on your long distance.” I said “no.” Totally shut them up.** this reminds me of (semi-related hijack) when we got one of those annoying door to door salespersons selling knock-off perfume. A friend of mine happened to be sitting in the reception area when these kind folks walked in. We refused to have the crap sprayed on us, and said not interested. she gets indignant and says, “don’t you want to smell good?” our reply… “no” they quickly exit [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yes-telemarketers-really-are-that-stupid/175846.md?page=2)