# Yet another bodyscanner Pit Thread (with pervs!) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 23, 2010, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-bodyscanner-pit-thread-with-pervs/561688 "2010-11-23T19:00:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2010, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-bodyscanner-pit-thread-with-pervs/561688/1 "2010-11-23T19:00:02Z")
So, with the holiday season, we have enormous amounts of air traffic and matching lines at the airport along with all the anger over the backscatter radiation bodyscanners. And, as seems inevitable in this world, some TSA agent is so very monkey-ate-my-brains stupid that when a high school girls’ netball team went through security, he dropped trou, and pursued a little extracurricular dolphin polishing until his own airhole blew out. He did end up getting arrested and hauled out of his booth, but not before he used up his turtle wax. Article [here](http://ht.ly/3dZVJ) But he’s not the one I’m pitting. His brand of mouth-breather stupidity is fairly garden variety, and with 50K employees working for the TSA, a few of the pervs will appear normal enough to get hired. No, no. I save my pitting for Rodney Schroeder, the head of the TSA’s scanning department. His answer to CNN was: > [@](#): > > What do you want to do, get blown up by a goddamn Arab at 30,000 feet or we get to see your private parts? It’s up to you, the ball’s in your park," His answer is so balls-out moronic that I wonder how genuine the article is. If it is, this man needs to be unemployed, immediately. Hey, let’s curse in a quote to a major media outlet. Then, let’s imply that it’s the _Arabs_ who are out to get us. All of them. Not Al Qaeda or the Taliban or the occasional insane person, but “the Arabs”. Because only Arabs hijack planes. :rolleyes: So, in order not to get blowed up real good by Teh Nasty Arab, we have to let them see our “private parts”. That’s the part that really gets me. First, we have this problem with TSA agents saving naked pics to their hard drive, and one at least who doesn’t even have the patience to get home before getting busy. Second, sorry, but no one’s going to wear any type of explosive like a merkin when all they have to do is tuck it away in a body cavity and then use the toilet to retrieve it. The scanners don’t work. Period. Not because of some technical difficulty, but because of a ground level conceptual flaw. The only thing it’s accomplished is pissing a lot of people off, wasting a lot of time, encouraging the pervs to go into government service, and turning a government agency into The Enemy. I haven’t heard a single person say they feel safer. So, Mr. Shroeder, do us a favor. Take your useless scanners, take your patdowns, take your pervs, take your defensiveness and your blame-the-victim/nice-country-shame-if-something-happened-to-it extortion, fold them until they’re all sharp edges, and _ram them up your puckered, belly crawling excuse for an anal sphincter **and leave the rest of us the hell ALONE!** _ ---
**Author:** ![Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f475e1/32.png) [@Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jimmy_Chitwood)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2010, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-bodyscanner-pit-thread-with-pervs/561688/2 "2010-11-23T19:08:48Z")
Yeah, that’s, uh, that’s not a real news website. ---
**Author:** ![suranyi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@suranyi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/suranyi)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2010, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-bodyscanner-pit-thread-with-pervs/561688/3 "2010-11-23T19:09:16Z")
Judging by the other articles at that web site, I think you’ve been whooshed. All the articles are parodies. It’s sad when people are so angry that they’re ready to believe anything about their adversary, even obvious jokes. ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2010, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-bodyscanner-pit-thread-with-pervs/561688/4 "2010-11-23T19:15:39Z")
The “face got redder and then he showed his ‘O’ face” part didn’t tip you off? ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2010, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-bodyscanner-pit-thread-with-pervs/561688/5 "2010-11-23T19:19:39Z")
Besides the facts they used a photo that’s already been debunked as a hoax, wouldn’t the reporter only using his first and middle name give it away – Hugh Muzzbe? I think Mr. Kidding gotchya. ---
**Author:** ![gonzomax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2010, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-bodyscanner-pit-thread-with-pervs/561688/6 "2010-11-23T19:40:34Z")
[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=idICUSiGcqo](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=idICUSiGcqo) A German demonstration of the falsity of scanners. ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2010, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-bodyscanner-pit-thread-with-pervs/561688/7 "2010-11-23T19:43:46Z")
Dammit. I shall never trust Fark again. [Emily Littel]Never mind![/Emily Littel] ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2010, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-bodyscanner-pit-thread-with-pervs/561688/8 "2010-11-23T20:02:52Z")
_fap_ _fap_ _fap_ _fap_ ---
**Author:** ![PlainJain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5daacb/32.png) [@PlainJain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlainJain)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2010, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-bodyscanner-pit-thread-with-pervs/561688/9 "2010-11-23T20:10:55Z")
> [@phouka](#): > > Dammit. I shall never trust Fark again. Don’t bail now, just turn this into a pitting of Fark. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2010, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-bodyscanner-pit-thread-with-pervs/561688/10 "2010-11-23T20:13:04Z")
Some other news article titles from that site, visible from the page you linked: Obama Wins Second Nobel Peace Prize Woman With Chastity Belt Refused Entry Into America U.S. to Mint Weimar Republic Dollars Perverts Flocking to American Airports for TSA Groping I’m A Celebrity X-Factor Dancing Britain’s Got Big Master Brother Chef Talent Not one of those triggered any skepticism? ---
**Author:** ![Palooka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/palooka/32/2902_2.png) [@Palooka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Palooka)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2010, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-bodyscanner-pit-thread-with-pervs/561688/11 "2010-11-23T20:20:12Z")
#2 and #4 don’t sound that implausible. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2010, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-bodyscanner-pit-thread-with-pervs/561688/12 "2010-11-23T20:34:30Z")
> [@Palooka](#): > > #2 and #4 don’t sound that implausible. As a legitimate news headline, “Perverts Flocking to American Airports for TSA Groping?” ---
**Author:** ![villa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/bc79bd/32.png) [@villa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/villa)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2010, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-bodyscanner-pit-thread-with-pervs/561688/13 "2010-11-23T20:37:34Z")
> [@Bricker](#): > > I’m A Celebrity X-Factor Dancing Britain’s Got Big Master Brother Chef Talent I’ve got $20 that says this is in development for the spring schedule right now. ---
**Author:** ![MOIDALIZE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@MOIDALIZE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MOIDALIZE)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2010, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-bodyscanner-pit-thread-with-pervs/561688/14 "2010-11-23T20:39:20Z")
I’m sorry, are you saying the needs of America’s perverts isn’t newsworthy? ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2010, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-bodyscanner-pit-thread-with-pervs/561688/15 "2010-11-23T20:51:08Z")
> [@MOIDALIZE](#): > > I’m sorry, are you saying the needs of America’s perverts isn’t newsworthy? They obviously know a bargain when they see one. Downtown the same service is 20 bucks. ---
**Author:** ![Palooka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/palooka/32/2902_2.png) [@Palooka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Palooka)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2010, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-bodyscanner-pit-thread-with-pervs/561688/16 "2010-11-23T20:59:17Z")
> [@Bricker](#): > > As a legitimate news headline, “Perverts Flocking to American Airports for TSA Groping?” It’s an amusing story. I’d run it in the lifestyle section. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2010, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-bodyscanner-pit-thread-with-pervs/561688/17 "2010-11-23T21:41:37Z")
Presumably you also never read the last paragraph of the article, **phouka** : > [@](#): > > “What do you want to do, get blown up by a goddamn Arab at 30,000 feet or we get to see your private parts? It’s up to you, the ball’s in your park,” head of the TSA’s scanning department, Rodney Schroeder, told CNN. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2010, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-bodyscanner-pit-thread-with-pervs/561688/18 "2010-11-23T23:04:23Z")
> [@Bricker](#): > > As a legitimate news headline, “Perverts Flocking to American Airports for TSA Groping?” Certainly no less believable than some of the stuff [Fox is flogging as “news”.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YlzjwZD4lEQ) ---
**Author:** ![MindsEye\_Watering](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindseye_watering/32/3619_2.png) [@MindsEye\_Watering](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MindsEye_Watering)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2010, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-bodyscanner-pit-thread-with-pervs/561688/19 "2010-11-24T00:55:47Z")
[Snopes.](http://www.snopes.com/politics/satire/scanner.asp) ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2010, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-bodyscanner-pit-thread-with-pervs/561688/20 "2010-11-24T01:04:52Z")
I caught the “Hugh Muzzbe [Kidding]” setup for the reporter’s name but missed the article’s dateline, which was 8/4/10, well before the new rules and machinery went into effect. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-bodyscanner-pit-thread-with-pervs/561688.md?page=2)