# Yet another "For Sale: Baby Shoes, Never Worn" thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 15, 2013, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-for-sale-baby-shoes-never-worn-thread/650361 "2013-02-15T03:08:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2013, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-for-sale-baby-shoes-never-worn-thread/650361/21 "2013-02-15T07:28:49Z")
He snapped his fingers…in half. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2013, 7:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-for-sale-baby-shoes-never-worn-thread/650361/22 "2013-02-15T07:32:56Z")
No man may defeat me! Girl?! Conan. Girl. Altar. Cultists. Demon. Kiss. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2013, 7:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-for-sale-baby-shoes-never-worn-thread/650361/23 "2013-02-15T07:46:46Z")
My life began after I died. ---
**Author:** ![Beastly\_Rotter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/45deac/32.png) [@Beastly\_Rotter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beastly_Rotter)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2013, 10:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-for-sale-baby-shoes-never-worn-thread/650361/24 "2013-02-15T10:36:26Z")
Funeral wreaths make poor wedding bouquets. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2013, 11:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-for-sale-baby-shoes-never-worn-thread/650361/25 "2013-02-15T11:01:52Z")
Casually he turned over his aces. ---
**Author:** ![Lightnin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lightnin/32/180_2.png) [@Lightnin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightnin)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2013, 11:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-for-sale-baby-shoes-never-worn-thread/650361/26 "2013-02-15T11:04:16Z")
“Don’t trust the baby!” she shouted. \*My wife actually said this, several years ago, while sleeping. ---
**Author:** ![dataguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/eada6e/32.png) [@dataguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dataguy)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2013, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-for-sale-baby-shoes-never-worn-thread/650361/27 "2013-02-15T13:09:04Z")
> [@JohnT](#): > > My life began after I died. Very good. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2013, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-for-sale-baby-shoes-never-worn-thread/650361/28 "2013-02-15T13:34:39Z")
Marriage, he knew, meant an alibi. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2013, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-for-sale-baby-shoes-never-worn-thread/650361/29 "2013-02-15T13:53:45Z")
The geoducks never returned. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2013, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-for-sale-baby-shoes-never-worn-thread/650361/30 "2013-02-15T14:07:00Z")
The hotel housekeeper could only speculate. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Controvert](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dec6dc/32.png) [@The\_Controvert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Controvert)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2013, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-for-sale-baby-shoes-never-worn-thread/650361/31 "2013-02-15T14:08:32Z")
It ended with tears… and superglue. ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2013, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-for-sale-baby-shoes-never-worn-thread/650361/32 "2013-02-15T14:23:33Z")
Heaps more at [http://www.sixwordstories.net/](http://www.sixwordstories.net/) Some nice ones: She was lovely. Then things changed. More money, more bitches, more problems. Woke up early. Reached work late. Religious differences. Man dumped for God. “I do,” lied bride and groom. Threw rock at mirror. Reflection screamed. Nothing to declare. Much to remember. Lost my wallet, found my desires. Man finds immortality. Names it Abigail. I came. I saw. I conquered. —Julius Caesar ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Cad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saint_cad/32/18907_2.png) [@Saint\_Cad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Cad)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2013, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-for-sale-baby-shoes-never-worn-thread/650361/33 "2013-02-15T14:40:02Z")
Her? With him? Really?! Something I never told anyone is … (too bad we can only use 6 words) ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2013, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-for-sale-baby-shoes-never-worn-thread/650361/34 "2013-02-15T14:42:31Z")
Like big butts, I cannot lie. Beauty may fade, bitterness is loyal. The corpse had a lovely afterglow. Only the sentient cows protested him. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2013, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-for-sale-baby-shoes-never-worn-thread/650361/35 "2013-02-15T14:47:58Z")
My cousin really and truly put an ad like this in a local paper after her third husband’s death: Expensive pistol, cheap. Only used once. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2013, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-for-sale-baby-shoes-never-worn-thread/650361/36 "2013-02-15T14:53:46Z")
they were short on lifeboats. ---
**Author:** ![black\_rabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f19dbf/32.png) [@black\_rabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/black_rabbit)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2013, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-for-sale-baby-shoes-never-worn-thread/650361/37 "2013-02-15T15:04:46Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > Marriage, he knew, meant an alibi. Nice. She emptied my ashtray, and wallet. ---
**Author:** ![leftfield6](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leftfield6/32/18780_2.png) [@leftfield6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leftfield6)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2013, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-for-sale-baby-shoes-never-worn-thread/650361/38 "2013-02-15T15:10:16Z")
“Sorry mate, I didn’t see you.” Motorcyclists know this as SMIDSY. ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2013, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-for-sale-baby-shoes-never-worn-thread/650361/39 "2013-02-15T15:17:53Z")
Saw honey badger, did not care. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2013, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-for-sale-baby-shoes-never-worn-thread/650361/40 "2013-02-15T15:18:39Z")
This story’s just six words long. (With apologies to [Al Yankovic](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tI4oRt7PLnc).) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-for-sale-baby-shoes-never-worn-thread/650361.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-for-sale-baby-shoes-never-worn-thread/650361.md?page=3)