# Yet another moronic tailgater, with a twist **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 29, 2003, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-moronic-tailgater-with-a-twist/191744 "2003-07-29T21:04:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Toaster52](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/50afbb/32.png) [@Toaster52](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Toaster52)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2003, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-moronic-tailgater-with-a-twist/191744/1 "2003-07-29T21:04:03Z")
So there I was, driving along carefully, as is my wont. I’m a careful driver but by no means a slow one. I can adapt to the traffic conditions so I’m not holding anybody up(within limits; I won’t drive 100 mph down the interstate just because some moron is in a hurry). And I certainly wasn’t holding up traffic here. It was a little crowded, but not too bad…all the other drivers were getting to where they needed to be, in probably what was a reasonable span of time. And nobody was going crazy. Except for this absolute brain-dead piece of ambulatory cabbage. Riding right on my bumper, not more than 3 feet behind me. Close enough to where I swear I could see the pimples erupting on his greasy forehead. Honking at me to move aside or speed up. Shit, where was I going to go?? There was a solid line of cars to the right, with no spaces anywhere. I could not move to the right, at least not without running into another car. Speed up? No way…I don’t speed, and in any case, to do so would be sheer craziness, probably endangering the lives of others. I could try slowing down and stopping, but I was afraid he would ram into me. So I tried to just ignore him. But then he swung around me, _gunned it_, and then swerved around the lady pushing the stroller and screeched around the corner and roared up the next aisle. That’s right…I was in a fucking **PARKING LOT**. And here’s a goddamn worthless piece of walking dung heap, _honking at me to hurry up!!!_. What is the fucking MATTER with assholes like this??!!??!! They should all be lined up and shot, but that would be a waste of a bullet. ---
**Author:** ![pencilpusher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d6d6ee/32.png) [@pencilpusher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pencilpusher)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2003, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-moronic-tailgater-with-a-twist/191744/2 "2003-07-29T21:11:18Z")
I really hate assholes like that. WTF can’t they wait to get to the damn sale? If they are so afraid they are going to miss something they should do like so many others and get there early. Or if your down to your last diaper then don’t wait till the baby shits… go to the damn convenience store fuckhead! ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2003, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-moronic-tailgater-with-a-twist/191744/3 "2003-07-30T00:46:26Z")
It’s one thing to drive like crazy out on the highway. But when they insist on driving like maniacs in close proximity with pedestrians, I start wishing they’d find a nice mountain road to drive at high speed along. Preferably one with a bridge out, and no warning signs. ---
**Author:** ![kanicbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f8ce5/32.png) [@kanicbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kanicbird)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2003, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-moronic-tailgater-with-a-twist/191744/4 "2003-07-30T00:59:29Z")
I hate parking lots and all they stand for! ---
**Author:** ![ccwaterback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@ccwaterback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ccwaterback)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2003, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-moronic-tailgater-with-a-twist/191744/5 "2003-07-30T01:05:33Z")
I used to get assholes like that in the city driving in bumper to bumper traffic eight lanes wide for as far as you can see. Every so often I would be able to pull over into another lane and let them by. I would drive another 20 miles and see that they had managed to get all of about 3 car links in front of me by then. Idiots. Another example: You are stuck in bumper to bumper traffic that edges up about 5 car links every time the light changes. You see some poor soul on the side street trying to turn onto your busy road. So you figure, what the hell, I might as well let him in. Then you look in your rear view mirror and see the guy behind you flailing his arms around a shouting at you for letting someone in. Geez, get a life buddy. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mad\_Hermit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b5ac83/32.png) [@The\_Mad\_Hermit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mad_Hermit)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2003, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-moronic-tailgater-with-a-twist/191744/6 "2003-07-30T02:48:21Z")
What are car links? Do you click on them to get info on the driver? That would be helpful; you could email the assholes and tell them just what you think of their driving. Oh, car _lengths…_ 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Emperor\_Penguin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c2a13f/32.png) [@Emperor\_Penguin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emperor_Penguin)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2003, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-moronic-tailgater-with-a-twist/191744/7 "2003-07-30T06:29:07Z")
> [@](#): > > What are car links? I was imagining some sort of giant steel automotive sausage… ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2003, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-moronic-tailgater-with-a-twist/191744/8 "2003-07-30T06:49:55Z")
Happened to me on one of our backroads. Guy got behind me and couldn’t pass due to the curvy road and started the horn-honking and hand-waving BS. This one also had a twist: He got out at the next stop sign and started berating me for making him late for work. I was driving 55. I asked him why he didn’t get up a little earlier, and he just sputtered and stomped off. Highway 278 (our bypass) has also become a dragstrip with people commuting to Atlanta in the early morning and then coming back home in the late afternoon. Seen many a case of road-rage here in sleepy ol’ Dallas, Ga. Makes me glad I work the night shift. Once I didn’t pull over into the right lane soon enough after passing another car and the driver gave me the finger and then made his hand into a “pistol”. I just called GSP on the SOB, gave them the tag number and let them handle it. He pulled off onto a side road so I don’t know how **that** little episode turned out. I mean, how many times late for work does it take for someone to figure out the need to get up a little earlier? Q ---
**Author:** ![badmana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@badmana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/badmana)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2003, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-moronic-tailgater-with-a-twist/191744/9 "2003-07-30T17:38:38Z")
Parking lots in general suck ass. But I have to admit I hate it when people are coasting at 3 mph. It’s not like it takes a whole lot to look for a space while safely moving at 10 mph. So how fast were you moving **Toaster52**? Ya don’t say. If you were moving at 20 kph then yes, I could see your rant. But 5 kph is too slow and you are then impeding. Also, at 5 kph (walking speed) 3 feet is probably not tailgating. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2003, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-moronic-tailgater-with-a-twist/191744/10 "2003-07-30T17:59:47Z")
I like them parking lot sharks that will circle for 5 minutes to get a spot 2 spaces closer. I grab one quick and always end up in the store before they can even get out of the car! Goof-balls! * * * _“Lets get them meek bastards **NOW!** ”_ ---
**Author:** ![Manduck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manduck/32/256_2.png) [@Manduck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manduck)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2003, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-moronic-tailgater-with-a-twist/191744/11 "2003-07-30T22:58:03Z")
One lesson I’ve learned from life is this: grab the first parking spot you find. Even if there is a better one available, you probably will lose more time searching for it than you gain from using it. ---
**Author:** ![Manduck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manduck/32/256_2.png) [@Manduck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manduck)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2003, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-moronic-tailgater-with-a-twist/191744/12 "2003-07-30T23:01:02Z")
Uh, in other words, what gato said ---
**Author:** ![glilly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/48db29/32.png) [@glilly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glilly)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-moronic-tailgater-with-a-twist/191744/13 "2003-07-31T03:32:23Z")
I saw from across the street some jerk pulling a similar move in a parking lot of a grocery store, except that he crashed into an occupied car in front of him. Never has seeing a car accident been so … satisfying. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-moronic-tailgater-with-a-twist/191744/14 "2003-07-31T04:27:12Z")
I had to check your location to see if you were in Calgary too, **Toaster**. I was going to start my own parking lot rant after I was nearly hit two times this week; once in my car, and once on foot. With the car one, I was cruising slowly down the lane - I know this parking lot, and I know there are lots of blind alleys and lots of huge vehicles blocking people’s view. I was going parking lot speed. A guy in a big black SUV came roaring up out of nowhere, passed me on my left, and raced out of the parking lot. If he had been about 5 seconds later, he would have t-boned my car as I turned into the parking space on the left that I was looking for. Idiot. With the on-foot one, I was filling up my car with gas (well, the tank, not the car - that would get messy), finished pumping, and turned to walk to the kiosk to pay the man. I looked over to my left, and there is a lady blazing through the gas station lot at full throttle, not looking for any pedestrians. I step back, she finally notices me (as her bumper pulls even with me), and she gives me a sheepish little grin. Idiot. You wouldn’t be grinning as I bounced off the hood of your nice silver SUV. I would have dented it, and probably scratched the paint, too. ---
**Author:** ![Toaster52](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/50afbb/32.png) [@Toaster52](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Toaster52)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-moronic-tailgater-with-a-twist/191744/15 "2003-07-31T12:43:48Z")
**badmana** , I was doing 10-15 mph, fast enough to get around in a crowded parking lot, not fast enough to endanger the lives of the other people around me. Calgary? Nah…I was in Freehold, New Jersey. New Jersey, where you’d better be going 60 mph 2 seconds after the light turns red or you will get run over. ---
**Author:** ![catsix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@catsix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catsix)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-moronic-tailgater-with-a-twist/191744/16 "2003-07-31T14:39:07Z")
Freehold, New Jersey has some of the worst drivers I have ever seen in my life, outside of Rhode Island. In Rhode Island, there is a totally different way of interpreting stoplights. Green = go as fast as you can. Yellow = go even faster. Red = There’s room for a few more. Driving would be great if it weren’t for all those idiots on the road. ---
**Author:** ![carimwc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ac8455/32.png) [@carimwc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carimwc)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-moronic-tailgater-with-a-twist/191744/17 "2003-07-31T16:07:46Z")
Someone backed into me in a parking lot. I was just going along, driving closer to the store I was going to so I could park near it, when the car that was about 8 car rows in front of me, (ie relatively far away) suddenly stops, throws the car into reverse, and comes slamming into me. I was stopped because I saw them go into reverse but sheesh. Way to pay attention. It was rather surreal. I still don’t know why they did that. My car was fine by the way. Theirs wasn’t. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-moronic-tailgater-with-a-twist/191744/18 "2003-07-31T17:43:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by featherlou \* > \*\*With the on-foot one, I was filling up my car with gas (well, the tank, not the car - that would get messy), finished pumping, and turned to walk to the kiosk to pay the man. I looked over to my left, and there is a lady blazing through the gas station lot at full throttle, not looking for any pedestrians. I step back, she finally notices me (as her bumper pulls even with me), and she gives me a sheepish little grin. Idiot. You wouldn’t be grinning as I bounced off the hood of your nice silver SUV. I would have dented it, and probably scratched the paint, too. \*\* Let me guess, it was a corner gas station and the driver needed to turn but didn’t feel like waiting in line? If so, I hope a cop catches her before she does hit someone. ---
**Author:** ![fotosbyfrank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/54ee81/32.png) [@fotosbyfrank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fotosbyfrank)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-moronic-tailgater-with-a-twist/191744/19 "2003-07-31T18:36:30Z")
Even worse are the idiots who decide to back out of their space just as you are about to pass it. You lean on the horn. They scream at you because it’s YOUR fault that you have the right of way. And, if they _DO_ hit you, it’s “Look at what you did to my car!”. I’ve been hit a few times by people backing out of parking spaces, but hold my tongue while they harangue me about it being my fault until the police get there and give them the ticket! ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-moronic-tailgater-with-a-twist/191744/20 "2003-07-31T19:14:22Z")
This is why, even if the rain is coming down in buckets, I never, ever, run in a parking lot. I might be soaked to the bone, but my bones will all be intact. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-moronic-tailgater-with-a-twist/191744.md?page=2)